Okay, so this is a really awesome song by Shannon Thomas. If you wanna look at any of her other songs, she has some good ones, including- for all your Twilight people out there- a song called "Edward." I don't know if it's related to the series or not, but it rocks. Thanks for reading! :D
Always Never"If I keep waiting for you, like I've done before, would you walk out the door?
'Cause I'm coming in.
Rivers of people go, well, I see through this world.
If it's a small world, do I miss you?
Always, always it never works out.
Never, never, I'm always in doubt.
Always never do care about the one you can see.
I might as well be make believe.
I'm dreaming of impossible stuff.
I need you too much, oh, but that's what love does.
I'm fighting with fate, always on your tail.
Never does any good, oh, I used to be good.
And if I don't hold back, will you see where I'm at,
Or will you get fast, don't leave me hanging.
Feelings become oppressed, I just forget the rest,
I have become a mess, and I keep thinking
Always, always it never works out
Never, never I'm always in doubt
You always never do care about the one you can see.
I might as well be make believe.
And I'm dreaming of impossible stuff.
I need you too much, oh, but that's what love does.
I'm fighting with fate, always on your tail.
Never does any good, oh, I used to be good.
And now I'm slowly finding out, fairy tales are purely fictional.
What made me think that I can just dream loud.
I would never be the one you can see.
I might as well be make believe.
And I'm dreaming of impossible stuff.
I need you too much, oh, but that's what love does.
I'm fighting with fate, always on your tail.
Never does any good, oh, oh, oh.
I'm dreaming of impossible stuff.
I need you too much, oh, but that's what love does.
I'm fighting with fate always on your tail.
Never does any good, oh, oh, oh."
-"Always Never," Shannon Thomas
Crushing: a verb,
1) to like someone
2) a state of impossibility, of hopefulness, of wishing, of pretending
"It won't work," she muttered to herself.
"What's that?" a voice asked.
"Oh, sorry, nothing," she said quickly. Great. Now he thought she talked to herself. Which, apparently, she did. But it was only because of him. To talk herself out of this stupid feeling she was having.
She had known him for a few years, but just as long as everybody else in the group. She was equally friends with him as everyone else, maybe even less so, so why did she feel this way? It didn't even make sense.
Michael and her had made sense, even if he wasn't exactly the brightest flower in the garden. Fez liked her, but she didn't want to go out with him, though even that made more sense than this. And Eric! Eric and her made more sense than this! That was how ridiculous it all was!
Her and Steven? No. That was completely and entirely out-of-this-world impossible.
And yet-
And yet, how nice would it be to be his girlfriend, to sit with him and talk, to see his blue eyes light up when he saw her?
Okay, fine, so she liked him. Liked him a lot. But she couldn't show it. She could not. It would ruin everything in this perfect world of hers, to admit to liking a guy like him. The world would tip over and collapse, that was how unJackie-like everything would be.
So she was determined to suffer through it all, making herself shut up and not say anything until this stupid crush went away. But it wasn't going away.
She was always there, but he never realized. She was always sitting right in front of him, but he never noticed. She would always talk to him, but he would never give her real replies.
It's like she was hardly even there to him.
So she went back to her fantasy world, her perfect little place that she had made for herself, except this time, she had come to include Steven in there.
Day after day, she would talk to him, she would sit there, and…nothing. So she would travel back to her imaginary world, where he told her how much he liked her, and he would kiss her, and everything would be perfect.
Then she would come out of her daze, and he would still be sitting there, watching TV, ignoring her.
One day, as she was sitting there, and the whole group was in there, she heard him say, "Wow, Man, look at her. Isn't she hot?"
Jackie glanced to the TV screen to see the person he was referring to. She narrowed her eyes. Sure. He would like her, the actress he would never, not in a million years get. But her? The one sitting right in front of him? The one who liked him? The one who maybe even loved him? Did he care about her?
No. He'd rather her not be here. He ignored her, like she wasn't even there. He had purposefully pushed her away. He didn't like her, and wouldn't, and she had never seemed to realize that. But it was true. It would always be true.
She narrowed her eyes deeper into slits as she glanced at the rest of the group, laughing- without her- talking- without her- being friends- without her. She was invisible to everyone, but especially to him.
Well, she'd show them.
She stopped coming to the basement, focusing mainly on cheerleading and her little plan. She smiled whenever she thought of it, so sure was she that it would work.
Maybe a month later, she walked into the basement, wearing a little concert T-shirt that made everyone on the room stand-up when she walked in.
"Jackie! Where did you get that?"
"Hey, Jackie. Did you miss me? Ooh, wow, Hyde's jealous of your shirt, Jackie!"
"Where did the Devil get that shirt? They've been sold out for months!"
"The goddess has the shirt!"
"Jackie, why haven't you been here in so long? And where did you get that shirt?"
The consecutive replies of her friends- Steven, Michael, Eric, Fez, then Donna- made her smile outwardly at the brilliance of her plan. It also hurt to hear that Donna was the only one who had seemed to care that she was gone for a month.
"Oh, it's nothing," she replied offhandedly. "Yeah, my dad found a few extra tickets, so a few of us girls were planning on going." She smirked, then thought of Donna's early kindness. "But, Donna, it is a girls' night out, so I guess you can come too."
The red-head's face lit up in excitement. "Oh, thank you, Jackie!" she exclaimed, giving the small girl a hug.
Jackie handed her the black cloth in her hand, watching Donna's face light up yet again as she unfolded the shirt. "You bought me one of the concert shirts? But you can't even find them in stores anymore!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, but I just made a few calls," said Jackie. "And my daddy took care of the rest." She paused, examining the hopeful expressions on the rest of their faces. "Come on, Donna, let's go!" she said, grabbing the taller girl by the hand and pulling out of the basement.
The door closed, but Jackie motioned for Donna to stay by the door.
"What?!" They could hear Eric yelp from behind the door, and both girls snickered.
"Jackie, are you really going to leave them out of this?" Donna asked. "They're, like, dying to go to this concert."
"No," said Jackie. She motioned to her purse. "I already bought their tickets. It's just that I want to see if they have the guts to ask for them, seeing as how none of them really like me."
"What, Jackie, of course they do," said Donna. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, Michael, maybe, but only because we used to date, and Fez, because Fez thinks I'm pretty, but Eric thinks I'm the devil, and Steven pretends I'm not even there half of the time."
"Look, Jackie, that's not true," Donna said. "Michael likes you like a big brother, and he's very protective of you. Fez likes you, well, for a number of reasons, and because Fez is Fez. Eric doesn't really think you're the devil. He's actually told me a couple times that he actually sort of likes having you around." She grinned. "And-" She looked at the basement door, then back at Jackie. "Okay, promise you won't tell anyone?" she said excitedly.
"Yes, Donna, tell me!" Jackie whispered back, ecstatic that her friend wanted to exchange secrets- Jackie loved secrets. "Ooh, is it about me?" she asked.
"Yes!" Donna whispered back.
"Yay! I love those ones!"
"Okay," said Donna. "Hyde told me a few weeks ago that he actually sort of li-"
"Jackie, canwepleasegototheconcertbecausewereallywanttogoandseethemandthey'reourfavoritebandandPLEASE?" Eric asked in one breath, as he opened the basement door.
"Eric!" Both girls screeched, having been in the middle of their secret-telling.
"Tell you what, Eric?" Jackie shouted. "You can go to the concert if you get back in the basement now, and none of you come out until I say so!"
"Woo-hoo!" came Kelso's shout of joy.
"Alright, Foreman!" said Hyde.
"You are my hero!" Fez exclaimed.
"Eric!" Jackie said impatiently. "If you don't close that door in three seconds, you can't go."
Eric rushed back into the basement, slamming the door behind him.
"Okay, so?"
"He said he actually sort of likes you," Donna divulged.
"Oh my gosh!" Jackie exclaimed. "You're not kidding?" she said seriously.
Donna shook her head. "Nope."
"Oh my gosh!"
"Wait, Jackie, you don't like him, do you?" Donna asked.
"Um, I don't, I- uh, no?"
"Oh my gosh, you do! You like him!" Donna exclaimed. "Well, go talk to him! I'll distract all the other idiots while you do!"
"Thanks, Donna," Jackie said. "For this, and for being my friend," she added.
"No problem, Jackie," she said. She smiled. "Now, go get him!"
Hyde walked out of the basement. "Donna told me you wanted to talk to me?" he asked.
Jackie nodded.
"Hey, listen, thanks for the concert tickets. That's really awesome of you," he added.
She nodded again.
"Hey, is something up?" he asked. "I don't know if you-"
"Do you like me?"
"What?" he asked.
"I said, 'Do you like me?' Like at all? Even as friends?" she asked.
Hyde looked towards the basement door. "Donna," he muttered angrily.
"No, listen, it's not just that," she said. "I mean, did you even think I was okay before that?" she asked.
"Well, yeah, sure."
"Because it didn't seem like that. Because you ignored me, and you acted like I wasn't even there half the time, like I didn't matter. Like you hated me," she said.
"I never hated you," he said. "And well, I had to be like that. Because otherwise, you would've known."
"Well, what was so wrong about that?" she asked.
"Look at you, and look at me," he said. "It doesn't make any sense."
"I know it doesn't," she said, smiling. "But it does now. If I like you, and you like me, then-"
"Wait, you like me?" he asked, incredulous.
She smiled. "Why did you think it hurt so much that you ignored me?" she asked.
He smiled back at her, and then leaned down to kiss her. "So, I guess we're going to the concert together?" he asked.
"I'd like that," she said. "Very much."