CHAPTER 25

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry…I just need to see how bad it is Clary…to see if you need any ointment or bandages…just let me see how bad it is and then I'll be done okay?" His words sound like sobs as tears stream down his face.

I finally understand what he is talking about. He wants to look between my thighs because he thinks Mark raped me.

"No, Jace don't…you don't have to…"

Jace looks at me with tear filled eyes, they are sad, and full of pain as he looks at me.

"Please Clary…just let me look okay…"

"No…he didn't…I'm fine…you saved me before he could…Mark didn't hurt me."

Jace raises himself onto his knees and pushes his hips between my thighs and he hugs me tightly. He whispers in my ear.

"He didn't rape you?"

"No. No he didn't…he tried but I fought him…and then you came…it's okay…he didn't hurt me Jace."

Jace stands up pulling me with him and walks me towards the sink.

"Look at your face Clary…look and then tell me again that he didn't hurt you."

Jace's voice sounds so angry all I can do is look at him for a moment before turning towards the mirror. My right eye is purple and swollen to three times its size, no wonder I can't see out of it. My left nostril is split as are both of my lips. I have a dark bruise under my left eye from my nose being broken. The whole right side of my face is coved in bruises. The left side of my jaw is purple and swollen. I have an angry looking welt in the middle of my forehead from where Mark slammed my head into the doorway of the car. I have bruises all around my throat, I don't remember him choking me but he must have. I use my tongue to wiggle my front tooth and find it's quite loose. No wonder my face hurts so badly. I can't look at myself any longer; between my dyed hair and all the bruises I hardly recognize my own self. I look back at Jace and he is still crying softly as he stands next to me.

"I…don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything, but please don't say he didn't hurt you."

"I'm sorry…"

Jace lift me into his arms and carries me into the back bedroom and lays me down on the bed. He slides in next to me and puts his head on my chest.

"I'm sorry Clary…I wish I would have gotten to you sooner. I wish he never laid his hands on you. I'm sorry I ever let him convince me that we had to take you that day in the bank. I'm sorry you ever met the two of us."

His words are heartbreaking to my ears. In truth I agree with everything he says. If it weren't for the two of them I would probably be sleeping at my foster parent's house. I would probably be having nightmare about how I could break up with Simon without losing his friendship. But if I wouldn't have been in that bank, if they hadn't taken me that day; I wouldn't know what it feels like to be in love. Totally, and completely head over heels in love with this beautiful boy. I find myself becoming angry at Jaces words, they sound like defeat in my ears. Like he's just giving up on us all together. Like he has just thrown the towel in because it all got too hard. I whimper in pain as I push Jace off of me and scramble into a sitting position.

"What is it Clary? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"Yes…"

His hands flutter over my body and his eyes are frantic as he studies my face.

"Where? What did I hurt?"

I place my hand over my heart.

"Here, you hurt me here. I don't regret knowing you Jace…I love you…"

"Clary…I…I love you too…it's just…what are we going to do now? Mark is dead, I killed him. What am I going to do?"

"Put him in the ground with the generators and we can leave for Mexico."

Jace just looks at me with a puzzles look on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do you regret killing him?"

"No, no I don't regret killing him. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Then what's the problem? Let's hide his body and get the hell out of here."

Jaces eyes change from a look of puzzlement to a look of wonderment.

"You still want to go with me? He's dead now, you are free to go where ever you want to go."

"I go where you go." My tone is final

Jace leans forward and brushes his lips gently against my cheek.

"I can't take you across the border looking like that. You are going to need a few days for the swelling to go down and a lot of make-up to cover your bruises before anyone can see you."

"Why won't you look at me for very long Jace? Is it because of what I said? What I said about just dumping his body with the generators?"

Jace chuckles softly.

"Well it does sound pretty callous coming from such a sweet little girl. But no I couldn't agree more. It's a good idea to put him down there."

I ignore his comment about me being a little girl.

"If it's such a good idea why won't you look at me?"

Jace closes his eyes tightly for a moment and sighs loudly before looking at me.

"It's hard to look at you love…seeing your beautiful face all swollen and bruise like that make me want to go out and kick the living shit out of his dead body. Seeing your face makes me want to scream until I have no voice left. Seeing your face like that makes me want to wrap my arms around you and cry until I have no tears left."

"I don't want you to do any of those things Jace."

His gold eyes are filled with hurt.

"You don't want me to hold you?" He whispers softly.

I slide across the mattress and take his hands in mine and kiss both of his palms.

"We need to get him in the ground first. We can't just leave him lying out there. We can cuddle after we take care of Mark."

Jace chuckles softly again.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sweet Clary?"

"I…I…"

Jace burst out into full laughter.

"I'm joking. You are just doing what I'm not right now. You are using your head. I'll be right back and then we can cuddle."

"Don't you need my help?"

"No babe I'm good. You need to rest. I will bring you something for the pain when I come back in."

"Are you going to be gone long?"

"No, probably only about fifteen minutes."

"Okay please don't be gone long."

Jace takes my hand in his and kisses my fingers causing a yelp to escape my mouth.

"What's the matter?"

"It's my hand. I hurt it when I punched Mark in the face."

Jace smile widely at me.

"Good girl…here let me see."

I hold my hand out to him for inspection. He moves my fingers and presses the back of my hand lightly with his fingers. He wiggles my middle finger while pressing his finger into the back of my hand and I scream out in pain.

"Mmm…yep…right there. I think you might have a small fracture in your hand, but I don't think it's broken."

He kisses my hand where he pointed out the possible fracture and leaves the room.

I lay down on the bed and pull the blankets over my naked body; I should get up and put some closes on but my body is so sore. I close my eyes and then open them again. I can't close my eyes, not until Jace is with me. All I can see is Marks dark eyes when I close my own. I lay there and try to remember the words to one of the songs Jace was singing in the shower when we were at the cabin. I work out the melody but can only remember a few of the words. I keep singing the words I do remember over and over in my head until I hear the front door of the trailer open. A moment later Jace walks into the room and I feel my body relax.

He hands me a bottle of water and a white pill. I swallow the pill without even asking him what it was, and hand him back the bottle of water. He sets the bottle on the side table and says:

"I just want to run through the shower real quick I'm covered in dirt from dragging him through the yard."

"Okay. Then will you come to bed with me?"

"Five minutes I promise."

Jace darts out of the room and sure enough about five minutes later he walks back into the room with a towel hanging low on his hips. Seeing his almost naked and wet body makes heat pool between my thighs. Jace drops his towel and slide under the covers with me. He lays on his back and hold his arms in the air.

"Come here…" He whispers

I climb on top of him and straddle my legs around his hips while I burry my sore face in his neck. Jace places his hands gently on my lower back.

"Please Jace….Please hold me tight…I need you…"

Jace wraps his arms around me and holds me tight and kisses my temple.

"I'm sorry…"

"What are you sorry for Clary?"

"I want to kiss you but my face hurts."

"Mmm yes love I want to kiss you too. I want to kiss every inch of your body. I want to kiss away all your bruises. I want to make love to you until he goes away…"

Can he do that? Can he make Mark disappear just by making love to me? I feel Jace getting hard between my thighs and I find my body begins to tense. There is just too much going through my head right now.

"I can't Jace…Not right now…there's just too much going on in my head right now…please don't be mad at me…"

Jace laughs softly.

"I'm sorry baby, I promise I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at myself. My body has a mind of its own sometimes."

I can't help but laugh at his words with the faint sound of embarrassment in his voice.

"You're not mad at me then?" I ask.

"God no… you're not mad at me for getting hard are you?"

"No… I understand…when you walked in the room after your shower I got all warm between my legs just looking at you…so I get it."

"Really? Just looking at me made you wet?"

I slap his shoulder and giggle.

"I never said anything about being wet. But yes it's true, I guess my body has a mind of its own too."

"It's nice to know that I'm not alone then. Do you have any idea how much you affect me?"

"Probably about as much as you affect me. Even right now, being in your arm, feeling you hard against my thigh, I am starting to second guess my decision."

Jace kisses my temple sweetly.

"Get some sleep love."

"I just want to stay like this for a little bit if that's okay?"

"You can sleep on top of me all night. It won't bother me at all. In fact I'm pretty damn comfortable just the way we are."

My eyes grow heavy and within a few minutes I fall asleep on his chest.