Sorry for the delay in updating, but I've been planning and executing my son's birthday party. Almost six-year-olds are so needy :)
It had been 24 hours since my emotional breakdown, and Owen and I had yet to leave his bungalow. Hell, we'd hardly left the bedroom for anything other than necessities, like food or a shower. We were insulated in his bedroom, locked away from the chaos as the world kept on spinning. I kept thinking back to one of my childhood therapists who use to tell me that sometimes the people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures. I really hoped that lunatic was right about this one because lord knows she was wrong about everything else.
We found an easy rhythm to our relationship, and it felt like we had been together for years, not hours. Owen didn't dig deeper for any more information, and as a result, I found myself offering up tidbits here and there without even thinking about it. He would sit silently listening to whatever I chose to share giving me his undivided attention. Sometimes he would ask questions, other times he would just hold me, keeping me grounded while I recounted some of the worst moments of my life. I didn't feel awkward or self-conscious about anything I chose to tell him, instead I felt liberated, free. Owen had a way of showing he cared without it coming off like pity. He made me feel safe, cared for, and most of all, loved. In the back of my mind my inner skeptic kept telling me he was too good for me, but I didn't care. I was going to hold him tight with both hands and keep him for as long as I could.
I felt like a new person after opening myself up to Owen. I'd never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally getting sick of their own bullshit, and I fit that description to a tee.
Unfortunately, our little paradise came crashing down mid-morning a day and half after the gala. Time waits for no man, and apparently no one waits for Barry either. However, pounding on the outside of Owen's bungalow threatening a sexual intervention was slight overkill.
"It's been almost two days you guys! Give it a rest already," Barry yelled.
I groaned letting my head fall on Owen's chest, "What are the chances he will just go away if we ignore him?"
"Slim to none," Owen said chuckling. "Get dressed, I'll meet you outside."
I watched Owen get out of bed, wondering what I did to get so lucky and thoroughly enjoying the view as he slipped on some board shorts leaving the bedroom. Barry was such a party pooper. I sighed; I guess our little bubble was bound to burst eventually, but would it have killed the guy to wait until after breakfast? I climbed out of bed rooting through Owen's drawers for clothes, grabbing a T-shirt with 'Property of the U.S. Navy' printed across the front, and a pair of his sweatpants. I tried really hard to not bury my head in his clothes and inhale the scent like a total freak, but self-control has never been my BFF. Besides, it should be illegal for a human being to smell that good naturally so I can't be held accountable for my actions.
I made my way to the front door swinging it open instantly blinded by the blaring sunlight feeling like a vampire exposed to the sun for the first time. Maybe Barry had a point about leaving the house every few days.
I saw Owen, Barry and Lowery seated in lawn chairs littered around the side of the yard already deep in discussion about something. I made my way over sitting down in between Owen and Barry propping my bare feet up on an old milk crate.
"Wow Jo, that is one impressive walk of shame," Lowery whistled.
I debated handling the situation like an adult for about three seconds then I shot him the finger. "Did you both come over here just to critique my wardrobe? Cause I gotta tell you, I was having more fun before you showed up."
Lowery's face turned so red I was worried his head might explode, and Barry just laughed quietly shaking his head. Owen pinned me with a smoldering gaze, his eyes darkening instantly at my insinuation. Instantly my mouth dried up and I felt light headed. Boy oh boy, this man would be the death of me, but what a way to go.
"If you guys could keep your hands to yourselves for a few minutes that would be helpful," Barry stated bluntly. I stuck my tongue out at him. He was no fun. "We need to discuss what you found the night of the gala."
And just like that my little timeout was over. I looked to Owen giving him the go ahead to explain what we had uncovered. He slowly recounted all the details from both the raptor and Indominus Rex files. Barry's mood soured immediately, while Lowery seemed nervous, biting his nails the entire time. I agreed with both reactions. Bottom line up front, this was not good. When Owen finished no one spoke, everyone silently contemplating the implications of what we had found.
"Not to be the odd man out here, but the information on the raptors isn't really that surprising," Lowery muttered unsure of his opinion.
Owen and Barry both turned their eyes to him. Their postures clearly conveyed they did not share the same point-of-view.
"He's right," I said coming to his defense, "Why invest money, time and resources in the raptors if they were never going to be incorporated in the park in some way."
"You agree with what they are trying to do?" Owen asked, his displeasure leaking out.
I shook my head, "I'm not saying it's a good idea or even a viable one, but if you look at it from Simon's perspective there's no money in raptors if they aren't eventually an attraction."
"They will never be safe," Barry pointed out. "Everything we are doing is purely research, science. The notion they can ever be tamed is ludicrous."
Thanks Captain Obvious. Were any of the dinosaurs on this island safe?
"I agree and I think Simon does too, but to secure funding for the project you have to have some kind of end game. People don't donate millions of dollars because their good guys. They want measurable, tangible results."
"That isn't the part we should be focused on," Owen pointed out. "It's InGen thinking they can be used as weapons that concerns me."
Yeah, me too. Everyone seemed to agree on that particular point, but I wasn't sure what we could realistically do to stop it.
"Um, not to say the raptors aren't important, but what about the evidence suggesting there is an actual genetic hybrid somewhere on this island," Lowery said tentatively.
We had 99 problems, and apparently a genetic hybrid was one. Jay-Z would not be impressed.
"That is an entirely different story. The raptors being militarized is bad. A completely new species of dinosaur running loose in the middle of Central America kinda makes me want to update my resume," I responded rubbing my temples.
"So, what do we do?" Lowery asked the group.
I ran my hands through my hair sitting up, "I take it to Simon."
"No!"
"No way!"
Barry and Owen responded in chorus.
I held my hands up in question, "Well, what do you propose we do? Just sit on the information? Kindly ask InGen to stop making genetic hybrids and leave your raptors alone?"
Silence.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
"Simon is our only option. He either lied to my face about all this or he has no idea. My gut says he's in the dark. We can change that," I told them.
"And what if he did know?" Owen shot back.
"Well, we cross that bridge when we come to it. If we do nothing then what was the point of all this? We have to try."
Barry shook his head in agreement as Owen contemplated my words. Lowery still looked like he was going to puke.
"Why does it have to be you?" Owen asked.
"Who else is going to do it?" I told him softly. "Simon trust me, and he trust my judgment. He'll listen to what I have to say." As a side note, that fact was a scary notion. Simon should maybe re-evaluate things.
"It makes you a target," Owen said standing up, pacing in front of the group.
"I'm already a target." Owen abruptly stopped pacing to glare at me. I shrugged. It was the truth.
"That doesn't fill me with warm fuzzies Jo."
"It's our best option Owen," Barry said coming to my rescue. I silently thanked him for taking the spotlight off me. Now Barry was the focus of Owen's hateful gaze. Bad for Barry, good for me.
Owen finally relented, albeit reluctantly, "Fine. Jo will talk to Simon."
Lowery and Barry stood saying their goodbyes and leaving. I stayed in my lawn chair unsure of exactly how upset Owen was over the current chain of events. In all honesty, I'm not sure what he was so uptight about. All I had to do was tell Simon employees in his company were going behind his back and deliberately disobeying his directives. Simple.
"Why do you always put yourself in these situations?" he asked me.
I stood up walking over to stand in front of him, "Because it's my job."
I wrapped my arms around his neck hugging him tight. I knew he was worried, but when you compared it to most things I faced on a daily basis it was a cakewalk.
"Come on," I said pulling him towards the bungalow.
"You think you can distract me with sex?" he asked laughter in his voice.
"Well…yeah." My inner slut was chugging an energy drink and limbering up wondering why we had taken a break in the first place.
He pretended to struggle with a decision before lifting me off my feet and throwing me over his shoulder. I couldn't help but let out a very girly screech in response.
"Don't think this conversation is over," he told me patting my ass as he carried me inside.
Hours later we both lay in bed lost in our own thoughts. I was worried Simon wasn't the man I thought he was, and what that would mean for the future of the park or me if he had lied. I didn't know if I could work here knowing this entire park was perpetrating a fraud. On the flip side, I wasn't sure I could leave either.
"You need to be careful tomorrow. No matter how Simon reacts, what he knows, this is a very delicate situation," Owen said holding me close.
"I know. I can do delicate."
He snorted, "Really?"
"Of course, but I only break it out in extreme circumstances."
"I love you," he said, a low laugh rumbling deep in his chest.
I smiled in return placing a kiss on his lips. Owen had told me he loved me a handful of times over the past few days, and every time he did it made my heart skip a beat. He wasn't one of those guys who said it every minute because they were trying to win brownie points. When Owen said he loved me it was because he felt it in his soul.
I hadn't said it back, and I felt myself die a little every time. It wasn't that I didn't love Owen because I was 99% sure I did, but I'm so messed up my issues have issues. I just couldn't seem to say the words. I felt them, but there seemed to be some kind of mental block precluding me from reciprocating. I didn't know how to let someone love me, much less love someone in return. Turns out shedding all my self-preservation instincts was easier said than done. I had spent a lifetime protecting myself from anyone who could hurt me and I was scared voicing my feelings for Owen would obliterate my last line of defense. It would mean losing myself completely in another individual. Basically, it fucking scared me to death.
What's worse is I was terrified he would feel rejection or simply get tired of waiting so I tried to show him I loved him instead. It was a poor substitute, but there was a real chance I would never be able to put a voice to my feelings. Just ask Dr. Price and my diary. As a child I was forced to grow up overnight, and it had left holes in my development that had never been filled. Functioning adult relationships were not something I knew anything about.
I sat up crossing my legs as I looked at Owen, "I…I don't want you to…I need you to know…"
"Hey, it's ok. I know," Owen told me holding my hand. "I told you, I want you. As much or as little as you can give me. I'm not going anywhere."
"I just want to be enough," I whispered.
Owen sat up cradling my head in his hands, "You are. You're everything to me now. That won't change."
His eyes didn't waver from mine as he searched my face. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I knew enough about myself to know I was hard to handle. I could drive a nun to drink on my lunch break.
Tonight, I chose to believe him.
Jahoney: Wow, you've been busy. Thank you for all the constructive reviews. I'm sorry you found some of the chapters confusing or choppy. If it helps the story is all 1st person and is told from Jo's POV. I will work on making it easier to follow. Thanks for reading and hope you stick with the story.
Nia Scarlet: Thank you so much for reading. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Desert Vulpes Zerda: Hi old friend, thanks for reading and reviewing. I know you were crying, but I hope it was a good thing ;) This chapter gives us all a much needed break from the angst so I hope you enjoyed!
sarahmichellegellarfan1: I think so too...you nailed it :)
BlueEyedPices: Wow, thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you like the story and I humbly accept your Best OC award for Jo...LOL! Hope you keep reading and enjoying!
localsamurai: So glad you liked the chapter. It was tough and emotional, but I agree with you that it was needed. Hope you enjoyed the latest.
Korraismygirl: I've been thinking about the Owen POV companion piece to this one and have some good ideas. Hopefully I will have some time after this is done to get some out. Thanks for the feedback and hope you keep reading.
twinfan1987: Yeah, that was a tough one, but she'll be better for it in the end. Thanks for reading!
angelicedg: Agreed, on both accounts. It will most definitely put these two on another level. Thanks for reading!