I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH IT. I ONLY OWN DEVYN AND HER PARENTS.

AN: I'm going to be switching it up after the line break in this chapter. It will go from Devyn's POV to Remus'. I mean, it's a third person POV anyway, but it will be focusing on Remus after the break. So anyway, here we go.

Chapter 25

The next morning, when Devyn woke up, she was still angry and hurt. Part of her had wished that those feelings would disappear overnight and she could just forgive her godfather, but a larger (more realistic) part of her knew that they wouldn't.

What Moony had said to Devyn was tantamount to betrayal in her mind and just thinking about it hurt her. She physically felt a stabbing pain in her chest every time she thought about how Moony yelled at her and the things that he said.

The anger and pain she was feeling over the entire situation made for a seriously awkward Defense class. Devyn kept her head down the entire time, and didn't raise her hand to answer any questions. She could practically feel Moony's gaze burning a hole into her head, but she refused to meet it. She knew she was being childish, but this wasn't something that she was just going to be able to forgive and forget. Not immediately anyway.

She also noticed that Hermione kept looking from Moony to her, as though she was trying to figure what exactly had happened. Eventually it seemed to click in Hermione's mind that she and her godfather had gotten into an argument and that Devyn's feelings had been hurt.

She glanced up at Hermione for a brief moment and saw that her friend's brown eyes were fixated on Moony, who was sitting at his desk, probably grading some papers. Devyn was kind of curious as to why Hermione was staring so avidly at her godfather, but then she noticed that Hermione looked like she was about to cry.

Devyn's curiosity won over her stubbornness and she looked up for the briefest of moments and she saw that the expression her godfather was wearing was utterly heartbreaking. Even from where she was sitting she could tell that Moony's normally bright blue eyes had dulled out of sheer misery and he looked like he was on the verge of tears too.

Devyn, rather savagely, felt as though Moony deserved this pain but at the same time, she felt guilt wash over her; Moony had had enough pain in his life already…the last thing he deserved was more anguish. Devyn didn't like fighting with him, or behaving this way towards him, but he hurt her and she had a right to be upset. She had a right to be angry with him.

Devyn returned her eyes to the textbook chapter they were supposed to be reading, but soon found herself looking up at Neville and Harry, both of whom were intermittently looking up at Moony; Neville looked utterly confused about Moony's miserable expression and Harry looked somewhere between sympathetic and viciously satisfied. It was an odd combination to say the least, but Devyn understood the origins of the two feelings. On the one hand, Harry hated to see his favorite teacher in pain, but on the other, he was angry about the things that Moony had said to Devyn.

Finally, at last, at long last, the bell sounded, signifying the end of class. Everyone started packing up their things and just as Devyn was about to leave the classroom, she heard, "Devyn? Could you stay for a moment please?"

His voice was cautious and quiet, as though he were afraid of saying something hurtful again. Devyn's posture stiffened and Neville looked at her questioningly.

"I'll tell you later," she said quietly to Neville. He glanced at Moony, his eyes changing from mild confusion to suspicious comprehension. While he may not have understood the entire situation, he was intelligent enough to figure out that something had gone very wrong.

Neville leaned forward and kissed her quickly, as though to tell her that he was there for her. Devyn smiled and squeezed his hand before nodding to the door, telling him that he could leave. Ron, who hadn't noticed anything, left with Harry almost immediately, as did the rest of the class, barring Hermione. Devyn could see Hermione was hovering between the classroom and the corridor, clearly torn as to which way she should go.

Devyn nodded to her, silently telling her she didn't need to stay. Hermione smiled sadly and nodded. As she and Neville left the room, Devyn turned and walked back to her desk, where she sat down and kept her eyes on the wooden table in front of her.

"Devyn," Moony sighed. He walked over to her and pulled out the chair next to her, the legs screeching loudly on the stone floor. Devyn winced at the sound and Moony hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to her.

"Devyn?" Moony said softly. She didn't look at him.

"Please look at me…"

Devyn felt tears well up in her eyes at the forlorn tone in her godfather's voice. He was absolutely miserable and she was, too, and she hated it. She hated that she was so angry with her godfather, and she was angry that it hurt so much, and she was angry that he was hurting so much…she was just angry.

Finally, she gritted her teeth and looked up at him. Moony's eyes welled up at the sight of the tears that were threatening to fall in her eyes.

"Oh, Devyn…I…" Moony reached out for her, but she shifted away, almost unconsciously. His hand stopped in mid-air and shook for a moment before resting back on the desk, now clenched into a fist.

"I'm so, so sorry. I never…I didn't…I could never…ever mean what I said. I could never be ashamed of you. And I know that your parents wouldn't be either. They'd be proud of you…so very proud…just as I am."

"Don't," Devyn said firmly.

"What?" Moony asked.

"Don't," Devyn repeated, a little louder this time, rising out of her chair and standing over him. "Don't you dare…you sit there and you look like a kicked little puppy and try to apologize to me…do you have any idea, any inkling of what you said to me…do you realize what that did to me? You will never know how much what you said really hurt me, and I can't just forgive that! So don't you dare sit there and bleat out some stupid apology. I don't want an apology."

Moony looked as though Devyn had slapped him. He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. "What would you have me do?"

His question was so quiet, Devyn almost didn't hear it.

"Please," he begged. "I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…I know what I said to you was awful and I never should have said it, but I just..."

Moony trailed off, sighing quietly. He stared down at his hands and spoke just loud enough for Devyn to hear.

"I'm scared, Devyn. I'm terrified that Black is going to get to you somehow…and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I've already lost you once, and I don't think I can go through that again. He's taken everyone I ever cared about, and I can't let him take you. I won't survive that, Devyn…"

Devyn was silent as she stared at him. He looked up at her and Devyn saw the tears that were extremely close to falling from his eyes.

"I was so scared that if you kept wandering around that you would get hurt…I truly wasn't thinking when I said those things and I'm sorry. None of it was true, you know that…don't you?"

Devyn shrugged halfheartedly and said, "I know that you're always going to worry about me, but I can take care of myself. And I won't be mad forever, but what you said really hurt me and I'm not going to forget about that in a hurry. I don't think you understand the damage that you've done. I never had anyone growing up. No family, no friends. Nothing. No one to be proud of me, no one to watch me succeed or...or fail. No one to cheer me up when I had a bad day or celebrate the good days, which were far and few between. And then you came along. Quite literally straight out of a dream, as far as I could tell. And we became a family. For the first time in my life, I had someone to be proud of me. Someone who could be a father to me...someone who actually gave a damn about me. So...when you said that you were..." She swallowed back a wave of fresh pain as the memory of that night assaulted her. "When you said you were ashamed of me...? It would have hurt less if you'd just stabbed me. Do you understand now?"

Moony nodded and said, "Yes. Yes, I think I do. And...I don't expect you to just forget about it. I just wanted you to know that I am truly…truly sorry for what I said."

"I'm just going to need space for a while, and that might mean not speaking. Just looking at you hurts me so much because all I can think about is what you said…it plays in my head over and over like a broken record and if I'm going to put it behind me then I really need to do it on my own. I understand that you're sorry, but I can't be around you right now and I can't forgive you right now."

Moony nodded, although he looked as though all he wanted to do was hug her tightly and never let her go.

"I…I understand," he said. His voice sounded like his throat was closing up on him just from trying to keep the tears at bay.

Devyn smiled at him, even though it was sadly, and quickly kissed his cheek before turning on her heel and leaving the classroom.

Remus watched Devyn leave the classroom, feeling a little bit better since they talked. He knew that he wouldn't feel completely at ease until they were back to the way they had been before their fight. He absolutely hated the fact that what he had said had damaged her so much.

He never meant for that to happen…

He only wanted her to be safe and it seemed like every time he turned around, she was getting into more mortal danger. He knew that wanting her to be safe wasn't an excuse for what he said, but that didn't mean he wasn't sorry.

Because he was. He was so immensely sorry that it hurt. The pain that had coursed through his heart when he came into class that day and saw that Devyn refused to look at him almost knocked the wind out of him.

Knowing that she was so angry at him and so hurt over something he did made it hard for him to even draw breath without feeling like a knife was piercing his heart. So he kept his head down for most of the lesson also because he didn't want his students to see him break down like a small child.

Most of his students, including Ron, didn't notice anything, but three of them – Harry, Hermione, and Neville – did. Harry was the only one who knew what had actually happened and the look on his face was half angry, half sympathetic.

Neville was utterly confused, which led Remus to believe that Devyn hadn't told him yet what had happened. Remus had always liked Neville, and he knew that Neville respected him. There was no one that Remus would trust with his goddaughter more than Neville, which was saying a lot considering the boy was only thirteen years old. However, Remus had a sinking feeling that once Devyn told Neville what had happened, most (if not all) of the respect that the young Longbottom boy had for him would fly out the window.

As for Hermione; she looked slightly confused, but also slightly suspicious. It was clear that she knew something was up but that she wasn't sure exactly what that something was.

Thankfully, the class finally ended and Remus called after Devyn to stay behind for a moment. He wasn't entirely certain as to what he had been expecting, but he could say, without any doubt in his mind, that he never expected his goddaughter to shift away from his touch.

She had always loved hugging him – perhaps because he was family and it gave her that familial feeling that she had missed out on for so long – and he never complained about it. Why would he? After having thought that he had lost her for ten years, sometimes all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and never let her go; never let her get hurt…

Of course, he knew he couldn't do that. There was something special about kids and Devyn was no exception. They were much more resilient than adults give them credit for. It was for this reason that somewhere inside him he knew that Devyn was going to need to explore the world in order for her to be a part of it one day, and he knew that that meant she was going to get hurt at one point or another. He just wished that she didn't keep putting herself into life-threatening situations.

First there had been the whole thing with Quirrell. Remus only knew half of what had happened down there and he suspected that amount might have been generous. And then there was the Chamber of Secrets last year. It was only a few months ago that he found out that the legendary monster that dwelled in the Chamber was a Basilisk and that his goddaughter had come face to face with it and Harry killed it and the two of them saved little Ginny Weasley.

And that was all he knew, and he suspected that there was much, much more to the story than what Devyn, or anyone else for that matter (a certain silver-haired Headmaster came to mind) had told him.

He hated being left out of the loop like that, especially when it concerned his goddaughter and Harry, James and Lily's only son, who was family to him in all but blood.

And now Black was on the loose. Remus knew, of course, that he had escaped to finish what he started and destroy the Potter line for good. Remus would die before he let Black touch a single hair on Harry's head, but he was scared to death that Devyn would caught in the crossfire when Black eventually caught up with Harry. Remus was in no doubt whatsoever that Black would get to Harry at some point or another. Black was far too clever to be delayed for too long.

He just didn't know what he would do if he lost Devyn.

He really didn't know.

It broke his heart to know that Devyn felt she couldn't be around him without hurting emotionally, but he would do as she had asked and give her some time and space. He only wished he hadn't said anything. He knew that Devyn wasn't stupid – quite the opposite actually – and he knew that she wasn't a little kid anymore…she and her friends had dealt with more in two years than most adult Witches or Wizards ever do in their entire lifetimes…

But he simply couldn't help treating her like a little kid. She was his little girl, regardless of the fact that he wasn't her biological father. He just wanted to protect her and all he ended up doing was hurt her…he never wanted that.

He had been upset and scared that they could've gotten hurt…and then the shock of seeing the Marauder's Map after so many years…he lost control and he took it out on Devyn. Harry had been absolutely right – she hadn't deserved that. He hadn't realized - not truly, not fully - how much damage his words would inflict on his goddaughter. He hadn't known how much his opinion of her mattered to her. It should have been obvious, he saw that now, but in his anger, he'd forgotten that he was the only family Devyn had ever known. The only father she'd ever known. He supposed it was an inherent trait in all children that they feared disappointing their parents. He knew when he was Devyn's age, he was terrified of letting his own father down.

And if Devyn thought that he was truly ashamed of her...well, that was his fault. He should've been more careful with his words. But he had done all he could do. He apologized and she said that she understood but that what she needed was time and space. He was just going to have to give her what she needed.

The only problem was…that was easier said than done.