Pain - 25

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"I don't care much for surprises Zoey," Jed complained.

She snorted. "I gathered that from all of your whining over the past hour."

"I have not been whining."

Raising an eyebrow, Zoey glanced at Sam. "I could have sworn that I have been hearing whining."

Sam nodded. "I believe that whining is the tone I have been hearing."

Jed scowled at the younger man. "Just whose side are you on?"

Linking his fingers with Zoey's, Sam grinned. "Zoey's, always and forever."

"I should be annoyed at you for picking a side against me." Jed sighed. "But when you look at her like that, when you talk about her like that, I find it impossible."

"I think that was kind of the point," Zoey said with a chuckle.

Sam shook his head. "No, it wasn't Zo. The 'point' was that it is true. I'll always be on your side."

"You are always going to agree with me, on everything?"

He snorted. "No. But I'll still be on your side."

"Your mother and I hold to that policy," Jed said. "Though I don't believe that we have ever expressed it quite like that."

The limo took another turn and Jed stared out the window, taking in the still unfamiliar surroundings. "I really wish I knew where we were going."

"Whining again," Zoey announced.

Her father glared at her. "I am not whining. I am merely requesting that my favorite youngest child tell me where she is taking me."

"Favorite youngest?" Sam chuckled.

"Ellie is my favorite middle child, and Liz is my favorite oldest child."

"Funny how each of us is the only person who occupies our own 'favored' position," Zoey said dryly.

"It makes is easy to choose a favorite," Jed said with a chuckle. "You are each my favorite in a special and unique way. Now, where are we going?"

Zoey glanced at a street sign as they passed it. "You'll be finding out soon. We'll be there in five minutes."

Jed turned toward Sam. "Has it occurred to you that the two of you are currently in the process of abducting a former president of the United States? That really isn't…" he trailed off as Zoey's face drained of all color and expression. "Sweetheart, I…"

Sam held his hand up, effectively silencing the older man. "Zoey, look at me."

"I am," she whispered.

"Who am I?"

"Sam."

"Who am I to you?"

"Everything." She slid closer, leaning her head against his chest.

"And you're the same to me. You're safe. You are always safe if I am with you."

She nestled closer. "I know and I appreciate that." Without lifting her head from Sam's chest, she turned slightly so that she could meet her father's gaze. "I don't think it qualifies as kidnapping if you willingly get into the vehicle without threats or coercion."

"I suppose you are correct." He hesitated. "Zoey, I'm sorry. I didn't think before the words came out."

She shook her head. "You don't have to apologize; you did nothing wrong. You were joking. I don't want you or anyone else to feel as if you have to pretend you are walking on porcelain when you are with me. I want you to treat me naturally. I'm still Zoey."

He nodded. "Sometimes it is easier said than done but I'll do my best. I don't like seeing you hurting and I hate it when my words or actions cause the pain."

"They didn't," she said gently. "It was the memory that hurt not your words. I'm okay now. My therapist has helped Sam and I both to learn how to recognize flashbacks before they become too intense and to stop them. I'm okay," she repeated.

"Good."

The limo parked and an agent came around to open the door.

Zoey grinned as her father glanced around at the storefronts. "Sam and I discovered these shops at Christmas. There was one specifically that I found during an internet search and couldn't wait to check out. I wasn't disappointed."

"She's been desperate to share the shop with you since then," Sam added.

Jed looked around curiously, taking in the quaint tree lined sidewalk and the mom and pop style businesses stationed along it, many of them in beautiful old buildings. He took in several of the hand carved signs adorning the buildings – there was a toy store, an old fashion drug store / soda fountain shop, a novelty candy and confectionary shop, a pet shop, a couple of antique shops, a bookstore, a dress shop…. In the middle of scanning the storefronts, Jed stopped and turned to face the shop that had captured his attention. Through the huge display windows he could see aisle upon aisle, shelf upon shelf of books. "A used bookstore?"

Zoey chuckled. "Would I bring you to any other type of bookstore Daddy?"

"No, I guess you wouldn't." Without waiting for a response, he moved toward the entrance, knowing that Zoey would follow.

"He's like a moth to flame when it comes to books," Sam whispered.

"He always has been," Zoey said. She stepped into the bookstore seconds after her father, her eyes immediately going toward the counter where the shopkeepers had been during her last visit. Sure enough, the elderly couple were perched on stools behind the counter staring wide eyed toward the entrance and the people standing near it. Finally the woman gingerly climbed down from her seat and slowly made her way toward them, her eyes rapidly moving between the former president and his security detail.

Seeing the woman's discomfort, Zoey stepped forward. "My boyfriend and I had so much fun during our visit to your store last month that we couldn't resist making another trip here."

The younger woman's genuine, sweet smile put the shopkeeper instantly at ease and her face lit up. "I am so pleased to know how you feel about our store Miss Bartlett." She extended a hand behind her, sensing her husband's presence even before he linked their fingers together. "Books are truly one of my favorite things in this world and I am always happy to share that passion."

"Please, just call me Zoey. We are going to be seeing each other periodically from now on." She grinned. "Especially if you update your inventory very often. Books draw me like a magnet attracts a paper clip."

"Then I insist that you call me Anna and my husband Bob."

With a smile, Zoey nodded. She glanced toward her father who had begun scanning titles on the shelf closest to him. She could tell that he was itching to disappear among the stacks of antique books but wanted to greet their hosts first. He was politely giving her a few moments to put the nervous couple at ease. "Daddy?" When he met her gaze, she gestured toward the couple. "I'd like you to meet the owners of this amazing shop, Anna and Bob."

"It is a pleasure to meet you both," Jed said. "My daughter told me what an amazing collection of books you have here at Christmas when she gifted me with a book of letters you sold her." He chuckled. "She steadfastly refused to tell me where the shop was located however or I would probably have popped in the next day. As much as I thought she must have been exaggerating, I can tell that she was not. You have managed to amass quite the collection here. You have some incredibly rare titles."

Bob beamed. "Thank you so much for the praise Mr. President. I can't tell you how much it means to us both."

"Almost as much as the visit itself means," Anna put in. "It is always a pleasure to share our shop with others who share our passion for old books but this… this is a unique honor that we will treasure."

Jed grinned. "This isn't going to be a solitary visit. Update your inventory often and I will be back."

"We are constantly looking for books to add," Anna assured him.

"And now we will let you begin your search." Bob chuckled. "I can see the longing you are trying to hide."

"If any of you need any help, all you have to do is call out to us. We'd love to assist you in any way you need. We know rare books in general and our inventory specifically very well."

"Thank you," Jed said. "Today we aren't looking for anything specific. We'll just be browsing and seeing if anything catches our eyes."

"It will," Zoey said cheerfully. "Daddy can't shop in a bookstore without actually buying something."

Sam arched a brow at her. "You can? I seem to recall you leaving this store with two books to give as Christmas presents as well as a stack you kept for yourself."

"She is her father's daughter," Jed said with a chuckle. With a last grin toward the shop owners, he turned down a row of books, taking in a deep breath as he allowed himself to be drawn into the world of hundred year old books.

After Zoey had immersed herself in browsing through a stack of classic children's novels, Sam quietly walked toward her father. The older man was so lost in the book he was carefully looking through that he didn't hear the approaching footsteps. An agent met Sam's eyes briefly before returning his gaze to his charge. Silently, Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out a small notebook and a pen. This would be a good time to observe Jed without the man's knowledge. He knew from experience that it was likely going to be an hour or longer before the former president was again aware of his surroundings. Of course, in an emergency everyone around him knew how to gain his attention. Now that a national crisis wouldn't require his focus, an emergency situation was unlikely.

He took random notes; jotting down thoughts as they occurred to him, many without rhyme or reason. Later he could sort through them. For now, each thought and sentence didn't need to be related to the one that came before or after it. As he recorded his musings, he became lost in his thoughts, realizing after a long while has passed that he had filled several pages with his tiny shorthand writing. Tucking the notebook away again, he went to find Zoey.

"Hey," she said as he approached. "Did you make any progress with your note taking?"

"Yes." He paused a moment. "I'd like to discuss that with you later." He saw the surprise and questions fill her eyes but she only nodded her agreement. "Did you find anything?"

She chortled. "What do you think?"

"You probably found quite a few books you can't live without."

Wordlessly, Zoey turned toward the shelf behind her and lifted a pile of books.

Sam raised a brow. "You can't survive without any of those? There have got to be a dozen books there."

"Thirteen," she said with a grin. "I'm sure if I tried hard enough I could find more."

He snorted as he hid his smile. "Oh I'm sure. I have to say, I think you might be addicted to books Zo."

She affected a worried look and then shrugged. "At least books are an addiction that won't kill me or those around me."

"True."

"Plus, these aren't all for me." She sorted through the stack before handing him a book.

"Black Beauty?"

"It was one of my favorite books when I was a preteen. I still treasure my copy of it; it is one of the books I will always have handy on my bookshelf."

"If you have a copy then…?"

"Like I said, these aren't all for me." She met his gaze. "Black Beauty is for Trisha."

"My niece?"

"You mentioned that her eleventh birthday is coming up. Whether we fly out for it or mail a package I knew you'd want to do something for her. I thought it would be nice to get her something special. With you being a novelist and us both loving books…" She bit down on her bottom lip. "If you'd rather I not be involved… I don't have to…"

He gently ran his thumb over her lip, soothing the light worry marks on it. "The book is an incredibly thoughtful gift Zoey. I'm sure Trisha would love it. I was thinking that we could try to fly out for her birthday weekend. We'll have to make a point of it so that you can give her the book in person."

"It isn't too much of a gift for me to give her? I thought we could give it to her from both of us."

"If you want to include me, that's fine but you don't have to." At the uncertainty in her eyes, he smiled softly. "I plan on you being in Trisha and Amanda's lives for a very long time sweetheart. You aren't just some woman they are going to meet a few times and then forget; you are going to be family. It is fitting that you give Trisha her first rare book, that you share your passion with her. She'll treasure it." He paused, trying to decide how to broach the topic. He brushed a lock of hair out of her face and spoke lightly. "Trisha and Amanda aren't used to such extravagant gifts."

At Amanda's name, Zoey reached toward her stack of intended purchases and withdrew another title. "If you're worried about Amanda being left out, I found a book for her as well. I thought we could put it up until her eighth birthday. This way, we definitely have a comparable present for her. I'd hate to wait and then not find just the right present. I think Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a good choice for that age."

"I think you could figure out a good book for any age," he said with a chuckle. "I appreciate you thinking ahead and making sure we have a present for Amanda too. Neither of the girls is used to owning books worth several hundred or thousand dollars though. They are used twenty dollar books from Barnes and Noble or Target. I don't think either of them will have any idea how to take care of their gifts."

"Liv and Grant?"

He shook his head. "My sister was raised in a middle class household Zoey. So was her husband. Books and toys are useful items not collectible items in their world."

"Do you think they are going to be offended? I don't want to upset them Sam."

"I know you don't sweetheart. I don't think you giving the girls these books is going to upset Liv or Grant. If it does, I'll talk to them. We're going to have to tread lightly though Zoey. Starting a book collection for each of the girls is one thing but we'll have to add to those collections very slowly. Every gift you choose for them can't be like these books."

"I'll have to trade off and give them Barbie dolls sometimes?"

"Something like that, yes. Liv isn't going to want them spoiled. I'm also a little concerned that the girls won't know how to care for fragile books."

Zoey grinned. "Now that I thought about. I'm going to get a new copy of each book. With a newer copy to actually read, Trisha and Amanda won't have to actually handle these copies very much. I'll also give them cases to store the books in and a short age appropriate lesson on caring for rare books." At Sam's surprised look, she chuckled. "My dad started teaching me how to be a book collector when I was younger than Amanda and Gus are now. I know how to share that knowledge and enjoy doing it."

"You gave this more thought than I knew." He grinned. "The girls will love their presents and getting to spend more time with you."

"Shall we go see how Daddy is doing?"

"Sure. If he isn't ready to go, we can pay for the books and go wait for him at the ice cream shop."

Twenty minutes later, they were seated at a table with ice cream sundaes in front of them.

"So, earlier in the bookstore you mentioned wanting to discuss something with me?"

Sam took a bite of his strawberry sundae. "For the past several weeks, whenever I'm with your parents I can't help but think about your dad's memoir. I find myself taking notes either mentally or on paper when he's talking to me. I jot down memories from my time on the campaign and working in your father's administration. Sometimes I'll write down a direct quote or a random observation like something about body language, a specific way he stands or carries himself."

"I'm sure he's fine with that. He asked you to help him with the book. He had to have known that even with it being his memoir, you'll be injecting part of your own writing style and some of your own reflections into it; it wouldn't be possible for you not to. You are and always have been too close to the situation to just be a casual ghost or co-writer."

"I know your father is fine with my note taking. He's caught me a few times. It seems to amuse him. I'm more concerned about your reaction."

Zoey took a bite of caramel as she contemplated him. "Why would my reaction worry you? I want you to write my dad's memoir with him. I'm actually starting to look forward to coming back to New Hampshire for a few months while the two of you work on the book."

"All of my notes aren't on your father Zo." When she arched a questioning eyebrow, he continued. "I find myself writing down bits and pieces about you, your mother, Annie and Gus, the administration in general, even Liz and Ellie occasionally."

"I guess I can see how we'd all be involved in Daddy's memoir to an extent but I thought the book would mainly focus on politics and maybe some of his personal reflections, college memories and such."

"That is the impression I have gotten from my conversations with your father," Sam agreed.

"Then why the notes on the rest of us?"

"I've been playing with the idea of writing a couple of additional books. I'd like to write an insider's view of the administration. It would give political insight but it would also show key players like CJ, Toby, Josh, and Leo as human beings. I would tell anecdotes about all of us, try to show each person's individual personality and how they all kind of blended together so that we formed a cohesive team."

"I really like that Sam. I think it would go over well with the general public. The stories would make it mainstream enough and you'd have the added benefit of hopefully providing some gentle political education."

He nodded. "I briefly mentioned the idea in my last phone conversation with my agent. He thought the concept would work well."

"Is your concern that my dad or one of the others might not want you to share personal stories?"

"No. Your dad will be sharing stories in his memoir. I don't think he'll have any issues with me sharing additional anecdotes. As for Josh and the others, sharing amusing behind the scenes tales wouldn't bother them. Obviously, I'd stay away from anything too embarrassing or personal. There are a few touchy subjects I'd have to approach but I would tread lightly." He used a napkin to dab caramel off the corner of her lip, holding eye contact as he began speaking again. "My concern isn't directed toward the first book idea. The second idea I mentioned is for a book centered on you – your family, your childhood, growing up in an extremely influential and political family."

"Me." Zoey's voice was soft.

"It shouldn't be a surprise Zo. You are my favorite topic, my favorite subject to observe and study. I think about you constantly."

"None of that surprises me; I could say the exact same things about you." She shook her head. "I don't care if you want to think about me or even write about me privately in a journal or something." She shot him a lopsided smile. "Actually, that thought kind of appeals to me. I'm not sure how I feel about you writing a book about me for publication. You have an intimate view of my life. I don't keep secrets from you Sam – secrets that I do keep from the rest of the world. The idea of the me that you have access to being shared publicly is scary."

"I almost didn't mention the idea for that reason," he admitted, reaching out to cover her hand with his own. "I don't want to do anything, write anything, that makes you uncomfortable. I do think that you had a unique childhood and young adulthood that would greatly interest many people. We wouldn't have to approach anything that made you uncomfortable."

"We?"

"I think it would be fun to write it together. Who knows what your childhood was like better than you do?"

She chuckled. "You do have a point. I'd like to think about it for a while, if that is okay?"

"Of course." He squeezed her hand. "Finish the last of your Master's program and let the book percolate in the back of your mind. When the time is right, we'll talk about it again." He softened his voice. "If your answer is no, it isn't going to change anything between us. It won't upset me. I love you. Nothing will ever change that."

"I love you too Sam and I'll definitely give the book idea some thought."

"Good." He glanced toward the door before looking back toward Zoey. "I think Bryan is trying to get our attention."

Zoey stood. "Daddy must be ready." She tossed her trash in the bin, linked her fingers with Sam's, and moved toward the door.

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