A/N - Chapter 25 is HERE! Woot woot! And... it's LONG! Hopefully not too long, please let me know what you think of the length and if you like longer Chapters like this one. Alright, this chapter is kind of, not all over the place but has alot of emotional changes in Katniss. You'll learn about the 'trip' and that doesn't help with Katniss' emotions and feelings. I also brought in a character that was in a short part of Catching Fire, see if ya can spot her;) Also, Katniss has a deep moment with both Gale and her mother in this chapter. I really wanting Katniss to start to become closer with her mother because soon she will have to relie havily on her with the pregnancy ect. I personally LOVE this chapter, it's not my favorite but I love the end. Oh, and I didn't (AGAIN) get to fit the visit to Thom's family in this Chapter so it WILL be in the next Chapter(26).
I just wanted to thank my few reviewers for their reviews... THANK YOU! I LOVE you hear from my readers, it is after all, the people that I'm writing for. AND I wanted to give a huge shout out to my over 70 followers, over 30 'favorites' and my well over 17,000 readers! :D I'm glad I have brought so many people to enjoy this story that has evolved into what it is now! I LOVE each and everyone of you.
I want to give a *HEADS UP* that there will be a slight change in the stories summary. I feel like I need to change it to match the plot better and help future readers. I just want you all to know so it doesn't throw you off and worry you any. Oh, and I promise, the title does mean something to the story... you'll have to wait and find out. Ok, Chapter 26 will be up Saturday OR Sunday, I'm going to try to shoot for Friday REALLY hard this time but no promises. Anywho, PLEASE review, they keep my going and let me know you are out there and reading it! Feel free to drop in your thoughts of the story ect and your favorite moments from the chapter! Well, MUCH love to ALL - Macayla
Ps, Chapter 26 will start to really pick up some time. I want to start getting into Katniss' pregnancy more!
"Good afternoon parents, guardians." She begins.
I feel as though she was signaling me out with the 'guardian' mention, but I know she wasn't. I spot Bristel, one of Gale's crewmates (that was luckily enough not to be injured), sitting with her little brother. I turn my attention back to Principle Maddox as she continues, my only wish is that she would say whatever this all is that is unsettling me.
"You child, or children have been honored for keeping excellent scores, attendance and idle behavior over the course of this year. For this reason, they have made District 12's Community School's Honor Roll!" She says.
At her words the room goes into light applause, every parent gives their child some hug and slap on the back. I lean into Prim, telling her how honestly proud of her I am. Gale does the same. Principle Maddox continues speaking with telling us the 'history' of the school's honor roll, that's been in place for more then fifty years.
"… this year however, is just slightly different." At her words, my stomach instantly clenches up. "We would like to honor these amazing children differently then our normal, set traditions. This year…" My stomach clenches tighter. "… we would like to honor them by a special, short trip to…" Tighter. "The Capitol!"
Instantly I find myself rising from my chair on the belchers, objecting to this insane idea but just as I stand, I'm yanked back into my seat by a pair of strong arms behind me. I know without turning around they are Gale's, one hand grasped a little tighter on my arms then the other. Somehow he's managed to get behind me on the belchers, knowing I would react this way. I'm forced to ignore my own thoughts as Principle Maddox continues speaking, ceasing her short pause.
"I have been honored to be in contact with President Snow…" My jaw tightens and so does Gale's hands on my arms. "… who is willing for these children to come and visit, as a… reward for their amazing doings." She says, smiling from ear to ear.
The room goes into another light round of applause but I can tell I'm not the only one that's uneasy about this trip. Bristel who's sitting a few feet away turns around, giving both Gale and I a 'look'. Prim doesn't say or do anything, so I look over to her to find her face set in a happy grin. I don't say this much about my dear, loving sister, but I have an urge to come across and smack it off of her. Gale's hands tighten to almost the bridge of painful when my mind starts racing with questions, with objections.
There is no way I would send Prim to the place where they slaughter children! Where our evil, cruel, hatred president lives. There is no way.
Principle Maddox continues again, telling us more of the details. It will be five days, in the new coming year during Spring. Either in March or April. She goes on to also say she would be chaperoning, along with several other paid staff members of the school. She also begins reading the list of the honored children in alphabetical order, having them stand when their name is called. The list isn't overly wrong and she get's to the E's before we know it. Vick's name was never called. She only calls one child ahead of Prim.
"Primrose Everdeen!"
As I see Prim, who's beside me, stand, I instantly feel nauseous and I don't blame it on the baby. The way her name is called, the way she begins to stand shyly reminds me far to well of her being Reaped one day. I feel in a way though that she is, she is being Reaped. Being forced to visit the Capitol and most likely see how they murder children. I can't let this happen to Prim. I won't.
She dismisses the meeting by giving us the date for our next meeting, next month. Everyone stands and resumes talking, but not everyone leaves. They are all hugging and speaking with their children, no doubt telling them how proud they are of them. I turn to Prim (and Gale) and see what she thinks of this all. It doesn't matter though, I've made up my own mind and thoughts.
"I'm so excited!" Prim squeals as my eyes land on her.
I'm not entirely taken back my Prim's excitement but I can't say I expected it. Prim has constant nightmares about her name being pulled, at a Reaping.
I rethink again to Principle Maddox's words. The Capitol. Travel amongst the Districts is forbidden, so in a way I'm shocked that President Snow would allow this. But he would allow anything to have more helpless children in his messed up city. There is absolutely no way I can let Prim go on this trip.
"You're not going." I blurt out quickly, her mouth goes to open but my mouth beats her. "You are not going Prim and that's final!" I shout, knowing much too loudly by the odd looks from parents around us.
Without looking at Prim or Gale I quickly yank my bag from my seat, pulling it over my shoulder quickly and flying down the belchers stairs in frustration. I don't slow down, knowing that Prim and Gale will follow, I only go faster. Nearly at the end of the stairs my foot misses a step and I fall, letting out a high pitched squeal. But only I don't fall. Right as my torso is about to hit the downward slopping stairs, a pair of strong but small arms catch me, nearly in mid air. My face falls just inches away from this person who caught me and I quickly realize it's Bristel. She helps me to my feet.
"Th… thank you." I say, just slightly shaken from the near disaster. If she wouldn't have caught me, I know I would have tumbled down the remaining stairs.
"No probl-"
"Katniss! Are you crazy!?" Immediately Gale yanks me into his arms, in a tight embrace. "You can't take off like that!" Gale shouts at me as my head is forced to bury into his shirt.
For a second I don't understand why Gale is so upset, the worst I would have done was break an arm or something, bad but not deadly. But I could have also lost something… our baby. My face is pressed into Gale's shirt but I can see Bristel in the corner of my eyes, face squished slightly in confusion at Gale's reaction. No doubt looking like an overreaction if you don't know about the baby.
"I'm sorry." I say into Gale's shirt, holding back tears in my eyes. I don't know why though, maybe at the pure thought of losing my unborn baby? Maybe the way Gale reacted?
"Katniss, you can't just run off like that. You have to be more careful!" Gale answers into my hair, panic and worry evident in his tone.
"I know.. I know…"
"No, you don't!" He says, pulling me at arms length from him, searching each other's faces. "Have you not grasped the idea that you're pregnant?" Gale asks, a bit harsh.
"No.. yes, I have Gale!" I answer in slight stutter and confusion. Of course I know I'm pregnant, who told him?
"Rory says you're still climbing trees? You can't do the same stuff you use to, Katniss." He says, much more calmly and quieter.
I know Gale's only reacting this way because of what could happen, that's his job, to protect his family. I know that if something happened to the baby, or myself, Gale would blame it on him for the rest of his life. At the thought and realization, I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, standing on my tiptoes and resting my head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." I whisper to him.
He doesn't have time to answer, only tighten his arms before Prim clearers her throat, no doubt reminding us that Bristel and her brother are standing behind us, me. I turn around to the sight of her and her little brother. He must be no older then Prim, with the Seam look, dark hair, grey eyes and olive skin. Bristel looks exactly the same, a mirror image of myself but her age is different, she's the same age as Gale, being in his graduating year. She's at least a foot taller then me and much more broad in the shoulders from working in the mines. I've never formally met her, or her brother. Only 'hi's', 'bye's' and waves during school recess and assembly's. I've never been one to have many friends, so I never went out of my way to say much more to her. It seems though we have one thing in common, we both care for our sibling.
"Bristel. It's been a while." She says, breaking my thoughts and flashing a warm smile.
"Katniss. And yes… it has." I answer, shaking her extended hand.
"She's one of my crewmates I've told you about." Gale says, moving to in between us. "She looks so much like you that she keeps me in check down there." He adds, winking at both of us, mostly myself.
"Well, when someone's falling asleep every five minutes, you kind of need someone to give you a quick ass kick before the boss man see's you." She says, grinning from ear to ear. Prim and I laugh, but were the only ones.
"Hey, it's not my fault when you have someone constantly telling you to do stuff!" Gale counters back, obviously suppressing his grin. "Miss bossy." He adds, muttering it under his breath
"I am not bossy!" She responds, playfully slapping him on the arm. Gale yelps in pain, as that was his healing arm. She apologizes briefly. "Maybe if someone quits checking my ass out every time I bend over, we could get more work done and I wouldn't have to be bossy!" She adds, raising her eyebrows at me.
Instantly I raise my eyebrows at Gale. Does it surprise me? That's he's checking out other woman, girls? Absolutely not. He's a man for crying out loud. But does it upset me? Yes, of course.
"She's lying!" He answers, looking at me. "It's one of her horrible traits." Gale mutters, again under his breath, 'coughing' to cover it up.
Somehow I don't find myself overly upset at Bristel's words, instead I find myself laughing at her facial expressions to Gale's words. I surprise myself.
"Whatever dork. I gotta get home. My grandma will be thrilled when she hears about all this." She says, rolling her eyes.
"What? That you're a compulsive liar?" Gale asks, stretching his mouth into a grin.
"No! About the damn trip to the fucked up place we all call the shitty Capitol!" She lets out in one breath, rolling her eyes again. I can tell she has a 'mouth' on her. "Nice to finally meet you." She says, smiling and completely changing her angered tone. "Congrats on the baby." She adds quickly.
She finally walks off, holding the hand of her brother and bumping him on the shoulder playfully. Gale turns to me as soon as she's gone, near panic written across his face.
"I promise I'm not checking her, or any other girl's ou-"
"It's ok. I believe you." I find myself saying, speaking before thinking. But it's oddly honest.
"Good." He replies quietly.
As soon as he does reply, I spot Principle Maddox making her way to us where we still stand on the belchers. At the sight of her, I somehow find myself building with anger. I'm not sure entirely why though, but it's anger.
"Hello Gal-"
"Fine! I'll take the… job." I say frustratingly, stuttering for a second when I realized I was about to use the 'D' word to my own boss.
"Katniss? Are you sure? Don't do it ju-"
"Yes! I'm positive!" I shout in answer, walking past her and again flying down the remaining stairs.
I stop and pause for a second, thinking of Gale's words and how grateful I am that Bristel caught me. I take a deep breath, slowing down but still keeping a steady pace as I hurriedly exit the school gymnasium, down the hallways and out the front doors. Not caring or giving any time for Gale or Prim to catch up, I know they will eventually.
I do my best not to run as I walk through the buzzing, busy town. Tears begin to form in my eyes and again, I'm not entirely sure why. I assume the complete and utter pressure I have been under with this job offer. I can't forget to blame the pregnancy hormones either though. No doubt being the full cause of my weird, and mixed emotions this afternoon. Going from angry, to happy and back to angry again.
My heart beats faster and faster when finally a tear falls from my eyes as I bust the front door open in frustration, completely ignoring the fact that Buttercup escaped when I opened the door, obviously escaping Prim's room first. I slam the door shut, ignoring the damn cat and bolt upstairs.
I drop my bag on the floor and bury myself into the covers on the bed, pulling the pillow over my head while I begin to sob. I soon feel Gale's arms wrap around me. But I can only hear one thing, my heart beating loudly against my chest.
Bum, Bum, Bum
XX
Either I passed out our I managed to fall asleep. I wake up with fresh clothes on, my nightclothes and Gale sitting on the bed, holding a bowl of something hot, from the billows of steam coming up from it. The setting sun already beginning to darken the room.
"Hey.." Gale speaks softly, as though not to startle me as I stagger to sit up some.
Gale sets the bowl on the nightstand, helping me sit up against the pillows on the bed. I don't know why I'm so weak, but it scares me.
"Gale?" I choke out but my voice cracks, sounding pitchy and rough.
"Shh, it's ok." He answers, placing one of his pillows from his side of the bed behind my back for better support.
"What happened?" I ask, again sounding cracked, pitchy and rough.
"Your mom will explain." He answers simply, planting a light kiss on my forehead and retrieving the bowl on the nightstand. "She'll be back in a minute."
I slowly begin to feel my anger rise at confusion as to what happened and what's happening. The last thing I remember was sobbing into Gale's shirt and the loud sound of my heart beat in my ears, but after that was nothing but a blur… darkness. Gale begins to wipe back the loose pieces of hair out of my eyes as I see my mother enter the room, holding a small bottle in her hand.
"Hey baby." She says, replacing Gale's seat on the bed.
"What happ-" I begin asking again, but my mother cuts me off.
"Stress, baby. Your blood pressure went up, causing you to black out." She replies simply and calmly, pouring some of the strange liquid from the bottle into a mug I didn't see on the nightstand.
She stirs it with the spoon and as I watch, I become more and more scared. Unanswered questions weighing heavily on my shoulders. I begin to open my mouth again, ignoring the shooting pain in my head but my mother quickly cuts me off, knowing I want more of an answer from her.
"When.." She begins, eyeing the contents in the mug she is stirring. "a woman is pregnant, it's very easy for their blood pressure to become high when they are under a lot of stress or anxiety, and it's not very good for you, or the baby…"
I listen as my mother continues speaking of this subject. Speaking in medical terms that are beyond my knowledge. She hands me the mug of tea but I don't bring it to my lips.
"Pain medicine, dear. It will help you relax too." She quickly says.
She continues with her medical terms as I bring the warm contents of the mug to my lips. It's the normal herb tea we usually make but it has a strange, sweet taste to it with the added medicine. I find myself gulping it down though, both thirsty and enjoying the added taste. I soon realize I'm becoming somewhat upset that my mother is rambling on about things I don't fully understand. I somehow, and oddly find myself only worried about one thing and one thing only.
"The baby?" I ask, cutting her off. She doesn't take it as an offense though, lighting up brightly at my question.
"He, or she is fine. But it's very easy for mothers to have miscarriages when they are under that stress or anxiety." She answers with a smile. I find myself both relived and panicked at the same time. "I've put you on bed rest for the week and I spoke to Principle Maddox, she's letting you have next week off."
At her words I choke on the last sip of tea I had just brought to my mouth. My mother scoots closer to me and Gale comes to my side, but I weakly wave them off with my hand. I somehow, yet again find myself rising with anger. Though, I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe that my mother, who I've never been good at with taking directions from is doing just that. I'm being forced to listen and obey my mother, one of my many flaws. Maybe it's the point of being on bed rest, that the pregnancy is keeping me from doing my normal routines?
"Katniss, she has Mrs. Mildred filling in for you. She said to take it easy. She understands honey." My mother speaks, taking the empty mug from my hand and obviously seeing the semi anger inside of my eyes.
I don't answer but lean back further into the pillows, still waved with unanswered questions. But one and the most important question has been answered.
My baby is alive.
XX
The rest of the evening and night I'm never left alone. My mother stays with me, sitting in the rocking chair off to the side of the bedroom and Prim visits me before retreating to bed. She doesn't seem upset with me, and doesn't mention the Capitol visit once. I'm sure our mother told her not to though. Gale helps coax some of the warm, hot soup into me and it feels nice against my scratchy, dry throat. I'm not sure who made it, but it's not Hazel's or my mother's cooking. I smile as it doesn't taste to bad for Gale's cooking. He retreats into the kitchen to wash the few dishes, leaving just myself and my mother in the candle lit room.
As Gale disappears down the stairs, I turn my attention to my mother. She's still perched in the rocking chair, rocking lightly as she ponders of a book I know she's had since I was little. I've never taken the time to read it myself, or ask what it's about. But it must be important to her. She safely locks it away in the family's safe. I take in the sight of my slowly aging mother. She's not beautiful for her growing age, but she could be, with more proper care. For a split second I compare her to Mrs. Hazel. Both around the same age but with totally different appearances. Hazel's appearance clearly states she's from the Seam, while my mother could clearly pass as a merchant citizen. But Hazel cares for her appearance a bit more, making sure to wash stains out of her dresses and to neatly comb her dark hair while twisting some kind of beautiful and different braid into her full hair, while my mother cares less what stains and marks are on her clothes, and rarely does anything with her hair then her normal braid… much like myself. My mother is also much thinner, and I realize even thinner then the last time I saw her, last week. I instantly feel guilt and it's unmistakable. I've shut her out, taken her daughter away and cared less about what game and money she shares of Gale and I's. I know she must be overly thankful of Gale, him being the one to suggest and take over her share of our earnings. But her appearance, the way her dress is fitted, a bit large for her slim figure and her matted braid down the back of her neck strikes me with guilt like I have never felt before. I want to blame it on the pregnancy hormones again but I know this isn't the first time I have felt this. And I'm tired of tip-toeing around the subject.
"Mom?" I call out softly, barley getting it out through my cracked voice.
Her eyes peek over her book immediately, slamming it shut and walking in slow strides to where I am laying on the bed.
"Yes baby?" She answers, hushed in tone.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, letting my head fall back on the pillows.
I don't, and rarely say this to my mother and honestly mean it, but I do. I imagine the baby growing inside of me, that I've already and somehow, oddly and strangely become attached to, treating myself like I treat my own mother. And then I add the unthinkable, losing Gale on top of caring for our child. I would lose myself if I lost Gale. I don't understand fully the pain and hurt my mother went through, and why she left her children to fend for themselves, but I can't treat my mother like this, the only parent I have left. I don't want to set this example for my daughter or son. I want to show him or her how a relationship between a mother and her child should be. And I want to be close to my mother. I desperately do.
"Oh sweetheart," She begins, taking both of my hands into hers. "If there is anything I have learned since I was your age, is that life is full of I'm Sorry's. It's the people that you have to say that to, those are the people that's truly done something wrong sometimes." She says.
I squint my eyebrows in slight confusion, I know what my mother is saying but I don't see a point. Her smile widens as she see's this in me.
"Katniss, look. I know I haven't been the mother that you and Prim deserve and need, but I love you both with all my heart. And you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for." She pauses only briefly before adding more. "I'm the one that needs to apologize."
I take in the feeling of her small, cold and boney hands wrapped tightly around mine. I also take in her sight once again, being much closer. Her cheekbones stand out just a bit more then normal, her collar bones sticking out. I realize that my mother is literally turning into skin and bones before my very eyes. And I find myself wondering when her last meal was. While I was over hear, drowning myself in my own sorrow, my mother was down the street, no doubt thinking she lost her husband years ago and now her daughters. Living in that cold, dark and lonely home by herself, that use to be alive with a happy family.
I sit up and weakly throw my arms around my mothers neck. She makes a quick, high pitched sound, obviously taken back by the hug but I quickly feel her tiny arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to herself.
A hug.
In years I truly and generally hug my mother. It's a long, much needed, overdo hug. Like an overdo library book that you just found buried underneath a pile of junk. Your stomach clenches when you see it, praying that you don't get into trouble for it, but then relived, renewed when it's safely returned, a burden being lifted and carried away from your shoulders.
I rest my head under her chin, closing my eyes and taking in the scent of medicine and washing soup. It feel's good, so desperately good to be wrapped in my mothers arms. I find myself smiling, not just at the feeling and the hug, but more of that thought of my baby. I would never, in a million years think I would ever say this, but I'm looking forward to this moment with the child that is growing inside of me. The very first moment I get to hold him… or her. Am I still scared of that moment? Absolutely, but I don't find myself thinking of it as a curse, and rather a mere, unexpected blessing. My mother continues holding me for what seems like eternity. Neither one of us speaks but only basks in this moment for all it's worth. Gale comes up the stairs and spots us, he tries to quietly leave but the sound of his bare feet on the wooden floor board creeks, making my mother pull slightly away from the hug and turn around, focusing her attention on the stairs. I can't help but laugh. Gale's face and reaction is almost priceless. His face is set in a reaction as though he's a little boy, getting caught trying to steal an extra cookie from the cookie pan. Not that anyone in the Seam has ever experienced that. My own mother cracks an almost laughable smile, but quickly turns her attention back to me.
"It's late. You need to rest." She speaks, bringing her lips to my forehead. I nod in agreement.
She mentions she will sleep on the couch, not wanting to leave me incase I need her. And to be honest, I don't want her to leave, I don't want to send her back to that dark home that awaits her. Gale quickly suggest, and makes the decision that she can take his side of the bed for tonight. She surprisingly doesn't argue, and nods her head lightly in understanding. She flashes me a quick smile before making her way to the bathroom off to the side to wash up, closing the door and leaving Gale and I in the room alone. He come's over and takes my mother's seat on the edge of the bed, not saying anything as our hands quickly find each others. He traces patterns on my hand with his thumb, the sound of night animals and bugs outside filling in the silence.
"Don't scare me like that ever again, Catnip." He says, breaking the complete silence, completely serious despite using my old nickname. I'm only somewhat confused as I don't know how exactly I scared him. "You passed out in my arms like that. I thought you were dead."
I can't help it, and I try to hide it but an amusing, laughable smile/grin appears on my face. Gale looks up from our entwined hands, raising his eyebrows at me.
"I'm serious, Katnis-"
"I know. I know you are Gale." I cut him off, speaking honest. "I guess my mom is right, I have been under a lot of stress lately." I add, sighing loudly. Gale drops his gaze back to our hands but I keep mine steadily on him.
"I'm going to kill Darius one of these days." He mutters in serious.
I feel an urge to laugh but I realize it wasn't the fact of telling Gale that kiss, but then again, it was… in a way. I was stressing and worrying over how I was going to tell Gale of it, letting it depress me and get me down. And yes, add the job offer pressure on top of it and no wonder I'm laying here in bed, on 'bed rest'.
I sigh loudly again, focusing my attention off of Gale and onto the wall ahead. I find myself now becoming down, feeling I have let down the baby that is growing inside of me and indeed becoming like my mother. My free hand, that's not holding Gale's, finds it way to my abdomen. It's covered with the blankets from the bed but I gently rest it there, silently apologizing to the baby inside. Gale see's this, turning his attention to my stomach, than back to myself.
"I just want to be a good mother Gale." I say quietly, eyeing my hand that's rested where my baby is growing. "I don't want to let him, her down."
"Katniss, you haven't." Gale speaks softly, scooting closer to me. I find comfort in his words, but only a little, barley any.
"Yes, I have. I've cared less about the realization that I am pregnant, Gale." I answer, finding a small amount of guilt mixed with the right amount of anger toward myself.
"No, Katniss, you haven't." He answers bluntly. "But I don't blame you, neither have I. There's no…" He stutters for a second. "… bump, or pure evidence that you're pregnant. You can't feel the baby yet."
"Yes, but I've been throwing up, the cravings, mood swings for the past eight weeks…"
"And that could be mistaken for nothing more than an odd cold. I don't think the realization has hit anyone in the house, yet Katniss." He says, cutting my previous words off. "You need to stop putting this guilt on you and start enjoying the… adventure that's going to come. We have a long road ahead of us."
I'm lost for any type of remark, question or answer to his words. He's right, no one has fully taken the fact that I am pregnant. Not myself, not Gale, not my sister, not his family. How can you when you don't feel anything or see anything? I wonder to myself if that is normal, to 'not' feeling pregnant, but I'm sure it is. Obviously it is. And Gale is right, I should relax why I have the chance. Before the bump starts getting in the way of my comfort, or the baby kicks and keeps me up in the night… all things I have heard from my mother's pregnant patients over the years.
Gale and I sit in silence for another several minutes, neither one of us adding anything to the now dropped conversation. I feel remarkably better, but I still feel as though a piece is missing. I begin to enjoy the quietness with my husband, the quiet time together until I see Gale's hand slowly make is way to where my own hand rests on my abdomen. Before his hand meets it though, I do the worst possible thing, I swat his hand away. Immediately his eyes glisten with pure hurt, but before I can say or do anything my mother emerges from the bathroom, braiding her wet hair.
"I feel better now." She says happily. She doesn't pay attention to the tight tension that Gale and I are just experiencing.
He doesn't do anything but bring his lips quickly and in the most unromantically way to mine. Pulling away before I can do anything with my lips, returning the kiss.
"Goodnight." He says quietly.
He doesn't look at me, quickly getting up from the bed and going down stairs, ignoring my mothers comment of a goodnight. My mother only raises her eyebrows slightly before shrugging it off. Commenting on how tired he must be. She slowly slips under the covers beside me, being mindful not to shake the bed too much, although I could careless. She's hesitant at first, trying not to scoot too close to me but not too far. I find myself thinking of Gale quickly and briefly but I just as quickly throw the thought to the side burner. I can't think of how I hurt his feeling or why I did that. It will only add stress and I can't do that to my baby again. I vow and have vowed, from this night on I will put my baby first. My husband too, but for the time being, the total fact of it all, I have to put our child first right now.
I scoot closer to my mother. It's odd, almost awkward at first. I can't even think of the last time I shared a bedroom with her let alone a bed itself. When my father was alive, I use to wanted to sleep with my parents, but not my mother, it was my father I wanted to cuddle with at night. When Prim was born, we would sandwich together in our parents bed. Prim taking the side closest to my mother and myself taking the side closest to my father. It would be his arms wrapped around me, not my mothers. Not it's different, I no longer am the small, flexible figure but I'm grown, and two people are missing from the picture. I'm sure Prim would be overjoyed to join us in the bed but I don't make an effort to get her. I look over to my mother who's just inches away from myself. She wears a small smile, but it's not like the smiles I've ever seen her wear before. It's not in no way forced, or a 'happy' smile but more of a continent smile. A pleased smile. It's a smile that I haven't seen my mother wear in years. It's when she says goodnight, and she loves me do I find myself smiling.
"I love you too, mom." I say and for the first time in a long time I truly, one hundred percent, honestly mean it.
That night, I find myself wrapped tightly in my mothers arms.
XX
"I just don't feel pregnant." I say to my mother as she jots down a list of things for Gale to get at the Hob when he returns from hunting.
It's a Tuesday now, four days have passed since I've blacked out. My mother hasn't left the house yet, only to visit sick or ill patients. That Saturday morning, after I had swat Gale's hand away from meeting our baby in my stomach, he acts as though it never happened. He greeted me more excitingly and giddy than ever. He lets the subject of it go, and so do I as I'm still cursed with the question as to why I did it. I throw the thought of it now away, not wanting any type of stress.
When my mother said 'bed rest', I didn't realize she meant 'bed rest'. Out of the fours day I have only gotten up for bathrooms trips and walking around the room for the sake of stretching my legs. But I know for a small reason why, I still find myself lightly weak after a few minutes on my feet.
It worries me sick that Gale is out hunting at this very moment. Sunday morning was his first hunting trip since the accident. I made sure he understood to wear long clothes to cover his skin, in hopes it won't damage the new surfaced skin. He laughed it off but listened, especially when my mother agreed with me. It comforts me some to know Rory is accompanying him now, that he's not alone. I want to so desperately be out there with him now, letting the warm sun and the scent of the woods surround me, but I listen to the strict rules of my mother, which includes no hunting for the week. The relationship between my mother and I have been growing, it's no where near perfect and never will be. I will always hold it against her, always. But I love her, we both want better.
I sit up a little more as I let the warm, morning sun hit my face through the opened curtains. I suppress a smile at my mom as she paces the bedroom, taping her head lightly with the almost used pencil. She stops, look at it and grins widely.
"Pencils. We need some of those." She says to herself. 'At least that's easy to trade for.' I think to myself. I laugh quietly.
I rethink speaking my comment out loud again, as she obviously didn't hear me over he thoughts. The conversation that Gale and I had Friday still weighed on my shoulders, not stressfully but that 'missing piece' still felt well… missing. I had decided, maybe nonchalantly bringing it up to my mother would help me feel better, he words would no doubt be that missing piece, but I decide for now to let it go. I don't honestly feel like having a deep conversation at the very moment.
"Katniss, hon?" My mother calls, stopping her pacing and standing at the foot of the bed. Her hair slightly tangled from the frenzy of writing all the needed things down.
"Hmm?" I reply, turning my attention from the window to her.
"Have you thought about getting things for the baby yet? And the nursery?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.
Half an hour later I find myself walking with my mother down the seam road, taking the quick road to the town. My mother has decided to go ahead and try to get the things on the list herself, not wanting to burden Gale anymore then he already is. I'm tagging along at the very matter of looking at the baby things some of the vendors have for sale or for trade.
I'm nervous.
I stuff my sweaty palms into my coat pocket. The weather has drastically changed within the four days I have been cooped up in the house. The temperature is nearly the same but the wind makes it feel much cooler. Fall unmistakably in the air. I bask it in though, enjoying the warm sun hitting me. It feels odd, to have my, now growing hair pulled into a pony tail instead of my normal braid, or even just unbraided and loose. My mother did my hair though, mentioning I'll be wearing it this way a lot in several months.
"Baby's like those braids, makes a good chew toy for them." She told me.
We walk into the Hob, the place pretty busy for mid-morning and mid-week. I spot Greasy Sae immediately, as well as another handful of vendors am pretty familiar with. I'm not fully prepared for how they will react when they see my mother and I looking for baby items. But first my mother pulls out the short list of items and things we need.
"Alright hon, you know the way around here better than I do." She says, handing me the list.
It's odd, both to be spending this time with my mother and for her to be in the Hob. My mother oddly though, knows almost as many people as I do.
"Mary!? Oh hello!" She says, taking off in the direction of the goats milk booth.
I shake my head and start making my rounds of the booths we need things from, without her. It doesn't bother me though. I find trading and buying the things somewhat relaxing, and I'd rather do it by myself than most likely hear my mother try to haggle with them. I get nearly everything on the list, buying an extra ball of yarn for my mother and not forgetting about the pencils. They are surprisingly easy to get, the Capitol sends a shipment of them to the District at least once a month. I finally sigh as I mentally check off the last item I was able to get on the list when I hear someone behind me.
"How's that baby doing?" Asks Greasy Sae in a hushes tone… for once.
"G…great." I say, stuttering for a split second as I see Darius enter the front doors behind her.
She makes small talk for a minute and I lose sight of Darius. She finally says a 'See ya later' when the bell rings at her booth, indicating a waiting customer. I begin walking around, searching for my mother. I find her at a booth of a woman who sells clothes that she either knits or sews together with old cloths, blankets, older clothes. It doesn't surprise me when my mother is looking at the 'baby selection' the woman has. I walk over to her, placing the basket that holds our bought items high on my hip. I approach right as the woman opens her mouth and begins speaking.
"Are you expecting miss?" She asks my mother. She laughs immediately.
"Oh no! My daughter is." My mother turns around right as I approach, motioning toward me.
"Oh!" The woman squeals, and I know that I have met her many times before, although I can't remember her name. "I heard you were pregnant! Congrats, dear!" She squeals again.
"You've heard?" I ask, sounding a bit harsh. Gale and I have barley told anyone.
"Oh yes, hon. It's going around the Hob here!" She says.
I'm immediately cursed with rage at the mere fact of it's being 'going around' the Hob, the news of the baby. I feel hatred toward Greasy Sae but I can't blame her. Lance, one of the Peacekeeper's overheard it and Darius knows too.
"People just can't keep their mouths shut huh?" The voice wasn't my own, or my mothers, or the ladies.
I turn around to be greeted with a smiling Darius, just feet away . . . . .
Chapter 26 Preview: What will happen when Katniss is forced to face Darius in front of her mother? What will Mrs. Everdeen think when she hears about the 'kiss'? And what things will Darius tell Katniss about the trip to the 'Capitol'? Will it make Katniss feel better, or worse? What will Gale think when he learns of the spreading pregnancy news? What will Katniss begin to think as she starts to physically (and mentally) prepare for the baby and the months ahead? Taking in extreme physical changes. What will happen when Gale brings up things Katniss wanted to so long forget? What will take place when Katniss is forced to return to work and face her boss again? And what will happen when Gale and Katniss pay a visit to the grieving, broken family of Thom? Things may surprise both the Everdeen's and the Hawthorns! Find out the answers to these many questions Saturday!