R?!

The Titans were silent and unmoving for a moment, as they stared at the card in Robin's hand. They desperately tried to think of other explanations for the doll and the playing card. But, ultimately, they were forced to accept the truth. No one could mistake what the pile of evidence pointed to: their friend had been taken by the most twisted psychopath on the continent. Beastboy was helpless in the hands of the Joker- a nightmare scenario for anyone.
Cassie was the first to recover from the shock. Leaping to her feet, she slapped the card from Robin's fingers. "We go find Beastboy. First 24 hours of kidnapping most important, no time to lose. TITANS-"

"Cassie, we can't just charge blindly off after Beastboy. For one thing, the city is vast and we can't search all of it. For another, there's a good chance that the Joker wants us to rush out. It's the sort of thing he's done before." Robin said, his voice uncertain. He knew better than anyone that Cassie was a powerful fighter, and often somewhat uncomplicated in her thinking. If something was threatening her or her friends, it had to be removed and that's all there was to it for her. Very often, that made her an extremely effective crime fighter; however in situations like this it could prove a hindrance. "We have to approach this calmly, and above all, logically. Remember Jason?"
Cassie scowled blackly but nodded.
"Robin, who is Jason" Starfire said, clearly trying to defuse the tension in the room "and what has he to do with this calamity?"

"Jason Todd was my predecessor as Robin. After his father died, he discovered that his birth mother was still alive. After weeks of searching, he and Batman managed to find her. She turned out to be a doctor working with the relief effort in Ethiopia, and the two were reunited. Unfortunately, Jason soon overheard her being blackmailed by the Joker- it seems she had been doing back-alley abortions in Gotham and one of her patients died. The Joker wanted several crates full of medical supplies including codeine, morphine, and antibiotics. Jason let his emotions overtake him- he confronted his mother and revealed his identity as Robin to her and offered to help. Instead she handed him over to the Joker who killed them both. Jason is a prime example of the dangers of giving in to your emotions- especially when dealing with the Joker."

Raven nodded "A lesson we should all take to heart, and one I've been preaching for years. We should sit down and think"

Frightened for the boy she liked (loved? She wasn't sure herself) Cassie whirled on her rival "Knew it. You not care. Never cared. Only reason you date him is because I like him."

Raven's eyes bulged and a lamp exploded "What?"

"You have years to ask Garfield out. He have crush on you from start. You do nothing but insult him. Hurt him. Laugh at him. Then all sudden, you like him, need to be with him? HA!" The vigilante's voice was tinged with bitterness- clearly this was something she'd been holding in for a while. That was fine with Raven- she'd been keeping some things back herself, trying to be friends.

"HA yourself. This is entirely your fault anyway. If you had kept your hormones in check, I'd have been the only one dating Beastboy- AS I PLANNED. He wouldn't have been so stressed, he wouldn't have needed guy time, and he wouldn't have been captured." Raven's eyes began to glow blood red as her temper rose.

"My fault? I ask him first! And you keep pressure him! Always run to him when felt bad, never try fix things yourself!" Cassie slid her body into a combat stance and balled her fists.

CRASH! Both girls jumped and turned to see Cyborg with his fist embedded in the wall. "STOP IT! This is NOT the time for this petty shit! Jesus, Beastboy dreaded the thought of seeing either of you in pain; he always wanted everyone to be happy! And the first thing-the FIRST THING!- you two do when you hear he's been kidnapped is try to kill one another! Do ya think this is helping? Huh? Do you think blaming one another will bring him back- or maybe if you hit each other hard enough he'll appear to stop you?" By now both girls were thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Seeing this, Cyborg relented.

"Look, we're all worried for Beastboy and, in a sense, this is ALL our faults. Yes, if you girls hadn't pressured him he wouldn't have been out there. But me and Rob should've kept an eye on him, and ALL of us should have caught the Joker by now. So, we know whose fault it is now- Joker's. So let's move on to saving his little green butt, ok? Rob, any ideas?"

Robin shook his head "A thorough sweep of the city, sector by sector, street by street is all we can do. We can't split up- the Joker took advantage of that once already. We'll start with the industrial district- a lot of factory space is lying vacant and that's just the sort of place the Joker would find useful. We'll go in teams, me, Cassie and Cyborg on the ground, with Raven and Starfire in the air. While you search, tale the time to interrogate any criminals- we're looking for information about the Joker's whereabouts or failing that, a high-ranking member of his gang. Titans GO!"

- - - - - - - -

In the torture chamber/breakfast nook, located beneath the Joker's brownstone hideout, the Clown Prince of Crime sat eating a bowl of Frooty Os in cola- his favorite snack when he needed sugar. It was now nine thirty at night, but the Joker had never felt bound to conventional meal times. He ate when he was hungry, and ate whatever he wanted (or had)- simple as that. As he ate, he gazed at the green boy who was chained to the wall.

Beastboy was desperately trying to transform. 'Elephant! Wallaby! Snake! Amoeba! ANYTHING! C'mon body, work with me here!'

He knew his powers were working- his regeneration of two fingers proved it. A few months ago, his healing abilities had started working overtime. He'd had Cyborg check him out- confidentially- and they came to the conclusion that the chemicals which triggered his transformation into the Beast had wrought other changes on him. One of these seemed to be a greatly accelerated healing ability- he healed cuts and bruises almost immediately, and greater injuries were repaired with inhuman speed. He'd decided to keep that quiet- both Raven and Robin had tempers and might take this as license to vent their frustration with him (this was before he and Raven had started dating). So, his powers were working but he was locked in his humanoid form.

Meanwhile the Joker finished his snack, and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief (purple, with a J monogrammed on the corner). "I suppose you're wondering why you can't just change into a fly, huh? Well, your little friend Starflyer or whatever told my Harley all about your little shape changing stunt- as well as your beastly secret identity. So, I poked around in the lab until I had something to counter you. I mean, you're pretty powerful for a mere spear-carrier, BB! It took some doing, but I managed it. Your powers are still active- you just can't consciously use them. So no shape changing for you, young man! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! " He walked over to a wall and began inspecting various blades. "So we can have all the fun we want without ever worrying about you behaving beastly. HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Beastboy looked up sharply "Wait, why would Starfire tell Harley anything?"

Joker chuckled "Oh, she didn't tell Harley Quinn anything. She told it all to Peggy Liacci- juinor reporter for the Jump City Journal don't-cha-know. She gave one heck of an interview; abilities, weaknesses, likes, dislikes... why, I even know your favorite movie! I doubt I could have beaten you on the bridge without that valubale info... though I'm still scratching my head about the gray girl... " the Joker trailed off, and selected a scalpel. Running the tip of his finger along the blade, he continued speaking.

"Now, I know simple mutilation is a LIT-TLE passe, but Harley still isn't back with the...special things I told her to get, so we'll make do as best we can, right? Ooooh! This is going to be just like in one of those sitcoms- you know, where the two men are trying to fix something before the women come back, with hilarious results! Only, instead of fixing the sink I'm going to skin you alive! Now, hold still, or don't it's really (wait for it, wait for it)... no skin off my nose! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!!"

- - - - - - - - - -

An two hours later Harley walked into the hideouts kitchen, struggling with the weight of an extremely full kitbag. There was better than four hundred pounds of tools and equipment in the bag, and even her enhanced strength wasn't limitless. Plus, she'd been all over this town, looking for the components her Puddin' needed to properly punish the usurping brat. She was especially curious about what he planned for tomorrow- he'd promised her a Christmas she'd never forget, but she couldn't guess what that meant. The romantic part of her thought of candle-lit dinner, sensual massage, a night out dancing, or even a proposal. The more rational part of her (a relative term) foresaw torture, pain, and comedy. Either way, she was looking forward to fun fun FUN with her Puddin'.

She found him sitting at the kitchen table, soaked in blood, reading the funnies with his feet on the table. "You know, Harl, we should really pay a visit to some of these cartoonists. They need some motivation; I haven't gotten so much as a chuckle from anything here. Just the same old gas, or trite political observations, or sappy sweet kiddy antics."

"Read the Obituaries, Mista J" Harley said as she carefully placed the bag on the floor. "Ya can always read the Obituaries for some laughs"

"That's my Harley, always looking on the bright side. Did you get everything? The drills? The nails? The acid? The matches? The custard?"

"Yeppers" Harley said, smiling at the Joker's compliment "An' all the other stuff too. How did you spend the time, Puddin'? I know you hate waiting."

"Ah, Harley, always thinking of me. Good girl. I spent some quality time with our green friend, and I learned a great deal. Did you know that skin regrows all at once? Not in patches, but sort of rising up from the meat?"

"No, but it makes sense, I guess. Its just dead cells after all. Didja skin 'im, Mista ?"

Joker waved a hand dismissively "Only up to the shoulder- then the little baby passed out. What's the fun in hurting someone who isn't awake to enjoy it, am I right?" Harley nodded, but reflected that that had probably saved her life more than once. Whenever Mista J beat her into unconsciousness, he would stop- and by the time she woke up, he'd usually forgotten why he'd been hitting her. That didn't always keep him from beating her more, but sometimes it did. Whatever, she knew the Joker just had a hard time expressing love, and of course she deserved to be punished if she messed up (even if she wasn't always sure HOW she'd messed up).

- - - - - - - - - -

As the Titans raced through Jump City's once booming factory district, Robin heard his cell phone chime. He'd only given this number to a handful of people, and only to be used in the most serious cicumstances. Therefore, he tried not to let his agitation show.

"Yes? What?"

"Robin?" It was the commissioner. "We've just found more…uh, victims. It's the Hive Five- er, Four. Apparently they were killed quite some time ago, but the remains were…difficult to identify. We just now got the DNA results back. The next of kin is listed as .." the sound of papers shuffling was clearly audible over the phone "…Jinx. Do you know how to contact her?"

Robin sighed. ' Just when I thought the day couldn't get worse.'. Aloud, he said "Don't worry, Commissioner, I'll notify her myself in a bit. Actually, I'm glad you've called. One of our members has been kidnapped by the Joker. We'd like assistance finding him, but we need it kept quiet."

"Understood. I trust my officers to keep mum, and I can make a deal with the press. They'll help all they can"

Robin was surprised. Usually, Police and press mixed like nitro and glycerin, as the publics need for safety conflicted with the publics need to know. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's not uncommon in kidnapping cases unless the story is huge. The press know as well as we do that sometimes public attention can make kidnappers kill their captives- they won't say anything unless we ask them to. We'll owe them big though- and by 'we' I mean the Titans as well as the JCPD."

Robin nodded "If it helps get Beastboy back safely, I'll do whatever it takes. Thank you, Commissioner."

A/N
Like it? Hate it? I got some heat for last chapter, and I'd like to state here and now that I can curse in 4 different languages and will unleash the fury against any and all flamers. Be told.

As for the cereal with soda- I always figured the Joker for a sugar freak. The kind of guy who'd live on twinkies, Hawaiian Punch and crackerjack if he could.