A/N: I know it's long, I know I'm late updating. So there was supposed to be nine chapters between yesterday's and tomorrow's chapters but I've had some complaints about it dragging out so I'm smushing them all into this one. Because I still wanted to include the songs I'd originally planned this chapter is still spilt up with the songs....

If anyone has any comments, if they want me to separate them into nine chapters and reupload or whatever , any thoughts just post it in review. I like reviews. Even bad ones as long as they're not COMPLETLY horrible.

As a last comment if anyone has any ideas about an ending just say. I'm not sure at the moment whether to cut it off after the climax and solve the issue of an ending or whether to make it an epilogue a few years down the line with them happy but not perfect, I don't want it turning into one of those stories that are really fake at the ending with the two main characters falling in love, getting married and having babies...

Anyway:

"Waiting for your call I'm sick, call I'm angry, call I'm desperate for your voice." Your Call - Secondhand Serenade.

Jacob POV

I'm dimly aware of a thumping inside my head and a loud noise coming from outside

"Jake, as your alpha I'm telling you to stop looking for Leah and to get a grip."

"You're not the boss of me." I growl back. "I'm your alpha."

"You lost your rights to alpha when Leah left. What kind of man drives away him imprint."

I take a step back as the verbal blow literally sends my sideways. Is that what they think? That I drove her away? What a mess. What have I done? Did I do this to her?

I look up and there's guilt in his eyes. Suspicion leaps in my mind two plus two equalling a hundred and nine.

"What did you do to her?" I growl, stepping menacingly towards him. "WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"Jake, chill..." I ignore him and advance slowly on him as he continues to back away.

"What did you do Sam? Did you hurt her? So help me..." he cuts me off.

"You did this Jake. You drove Leah away."

I freeze.

"What do you know?" It's almost a whisper. He stop backing up and looks away, guiltily.

"Nothing." He whispers back. He's lying. It's obvious. Anger consumes me and I pounce.

I'm aware of the other guys entering the room. They must have heard the noise. I phase and start clawing at his face. Sam quickly follows. The starches bleed and heel in the space of a second, new ones forming almost before the old scratches can heal. The others pull me off and I let out a howl.

How could you do this. I think to him. I feel a wave of pain, guilt wash back.

Suddenly I'm in his mind and I'm looking at Leah. How old is this memory? I stare at her and then I realise. He knows where she is. He's seen her. Is this why you told me to stop looking? Do you know where she is? TELL ME.

He shakes his head and I let out a growl. I turn to run. I head for the coast. Just keep running. Running and running.

"I'm in too deep and trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under." In Too Deep - Sum 41.

Leah POV

I wipe away the tears that are falling from my eyes and stare at the phone lying inanimate in my hand.

I have the number memorised. I've thought about calling a million times. But I haven't. Not yet. I've never managed to work up the courage. Like the failure I am. Like the waste of space I am. I can't even work up the courage to call my family, to call Jake. Let them know I'm not dead. Let them know I'm fine. Fine. What a joke. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm in a worse state now than I was before I attempted suicide. My first suicide attempt.

Will there be another? Soon? Or will something, someone, save me?

Probably not. I've always been alone in this life, struggling to find my way. Coping with the numerous blows that life keeps chucking my way.

I wipe away the tears, again. It seems like I'm always doing this, letting the world get me down, and then crying my heart out. Broken, shattered. Destroyed under the weight of life's many expectations and catastrophes. Why does it always seem to happen to me? Everything bad. It's always me, as if I'm some sort of bad luck magnet.

I quickly dial the number, Jake's, waiting as it rings, once, twice. What will I say? What could I say...? Should I tell him? No. Tell him nothing. Just let him know you're Ok. That you're alive. That you won't be coming back. Ever.

The phone keeps ringing. Eventually someone picks up. It's Billy. Where's Jake?

"Hello, I say, I'm looking for Jake." My voice is muffled by my hand. I hope he doesn't recognise my voice over the phone. I'm in luck; he doesn't appear to recognise me.

"Jake?" he sounds confused. Then he sighs. "I can pass on a message."

I slam the phone down. Where could he possibly be? Is he out with a girl? Some slut? Bella? Did she leave Edward? I always hated that girl, so much more beautiful than me, impossibly pale. Breakable. She needs someone to look after her much more than I do. It's not like I'm going to die. At least not at the hands of someone else.

A/N: It takes 15 hours to walk from La Push to Makah...in real life. I know Jakes fast but he'll have to stop for breaks.

"Where are you, I'm so sorry." I Miss You - Blink 182.

Jake POV

I ignore him. I ignore the shout, the growls, and the thoughts of the others. I have to run. I have to get away. I have to find Leah. MY Leah. I run. And run. Head to the coast. Don't stop. Keep running. To the coast. Towards Canada. I'll start looking. I'll search everywhere. She's alive. She's alive and well. I'm so happy, despite everything. She's alright and that's all that matters.

I run and run. I'm heading North, towards the coast. At my pace it she reach water in about seven hours. And just keep going. North. Stay there. For a while, just until things settle down.

Because I sure can't cope with Sam at the moment. I can't stand to look him in the face knowing that he knows where Leah is. My Leah. My beautiful Leah.

Maybe I'll even stop off at Makah for a rest, it's right on the coastline. One last stop before I start swimming. And keep going until my energy fades and the water sucks me under. Like the sea of depression sucking me under.

I shake my head. No Jake, you can't abandon Leah. She's there, looking for you. Somewhere. Maybe she's just scared. Maybe she's just scared to come back. Maybe Sam threatened her off. Maybe he thought that she was interfering with his and Emily's relationship. Maybe he sent her away.

That's a lot of maybes. A lot of maybes without answers.

I keep running. Block out the past, block out the pain. Block out the thoughts.

"Everytime I see you in my dream, I see your face, its haunting me." Everytime - Britney Spears

Leah POV

I look at Harry, lying in his cot. Asleep peacefully. Finally. He's always up to trouble, he always needs something.

I look at his face and marvel at the perfect reflection of Jake staring back at me. Haunting me.

Did I do the right thing, leaving Jake? Was it the right thing to do? Or did I just make a bigger mess for all of us. Digging a bigger whole. And now I'm in so deep I can't get out on my own. I'm in so deep I can't even call for help.

"I'm not alright, I'm broken inside." I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real.

Leah POV

Where did it all go wrong? My life? What happened to me to turn me into this miserable shell of a person. With no one to help her, no one to care for her.

What happened to me? Did I do something wrong in a past life? Something terrible? Is this my punishment, all this pain now?

I don't think that's fair. There's nothing I could have done to deserve this pain, this suffering. There's nothing in this world that could make anybody deserve this level of pain.

I break into sobs. They tear through my body as I crumple to the floor, cradling my knees up into my chest.

It hurts, it hurts so much. I wipe my eyes and look up at the object lying above the sink.

"Let it bleed." Let It Bleed - The Used.

Leah POV

I drag myself to the sink, a mess, a wreck and reach out my hand to grab it. I need this so much. So, so much.

I take the razor and press it deeply into my arm. The blood quickly pools to the surface, rushing up and before I can stop it or press a towel to it, the blood trickles down my arm and onto the floor. The dripping reverberates inside my head, echoing again and again.

"Wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees." Superman - Five for Fighting.

Jake POV

I stop running and slump down against a tree. I'm about half way there. I've been running for three hours. My lungs are burning slightly from running so fast, for so long.

It hurts. Nothing like the pain that it causes me not having Leah. It almost feels good, the pain. A warm kind of burning in my chest, my arms, my legs. Distracting me from the pain of Leah, the feeling of hopelessness.

The pain quickly fades, replaced with energy and warmth. Werewolf abilities.

I stand up and brush the leaves off from myself.

Keep running. Run until you find hope. Run until you find happiness. Run until you find Leah. Run forever.

Three more hours until the coast, if I'm going in the right direction. Follow the sun above. Keep running. Run until you find Leah.

I sometimes wanna die." Sometimes Wanna Die - Joydrop.

Leah POV

It hurts so so much. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to cope anymore. I can't even go one day without crying, without hurting myself. I've dragged myself into this hole and all I've done over the last year is make it bigger. Digging away. Not burying my pain. And I'm in so deep. I'm in too deep.

Should I end it all? Should I take away my pain, once and for all.

Is it the right thing to do? To leave Harry, to leave this world. To kill myself, with Jake, my Seth, with Sam not knowing what happened to me.

Will Sam feel guilty when he comes back, when he finds out what I did, what he didn't notice? Will he feel guilty for not noticing, for hurting me in the first place? For breaking my heat and setting off this circle of misery and despair. Do I bring this pain on myself? Do I cause it? Am I some kind of suffering magnet? Or do I cause it by being so depressive and miserable that everybody else runs away, that everybody else abandons me.

Was my entire life some giant, catastrophic mistake? Some twist of fate that sent the entire world spiralling downwards, out of control, my suffering, my pain, thrown out onto other. Others that I care about.

Is this right that I should be in so much pain, in so much suffering?

Is this what I deserve?

What for? What did I do?

Fate just seems unable to let me go on with my life, unsuffering. Isn't it bad enough I'm the only girl werewolf? Isn't that pain enough? But no, all this pain just keeps getting heaped on top of me. Like it has nowhere else to go.

"I find myself, wanting to die." Dear Angel - April Sixth

Leah POV

So I make my decision. I can't take it anymore. I can't take the pain, I can't to Harry. I can't take Jake. And I can't take the way that I just seem to be abandoned, again and again by the people I love. An end to my suffering, and end to their suffering. Everybody I've ever hurt, everybody I've ever cared for. Its better this way, I think. Better to end it now, save the pain. Better to end it now than draw out the misery.

Besides. We all die anyway, some when. Except the vampires. All I'm doing is speeding up the process, accelerating the circle of life.

Destroying fate, ripping apart my life. Nothing new there, since when did I do things right. I should just do the opposite of what I want to do. But then that would probably be wrong too, knowing my luck. MY awful, cursed luck.

What did I do? Break a million mirrors? I certainly don't remember doing it. I think I'd remember something like that. I don't deserve this pain, this misery this suffering.

I need an end, and end to this, and end to suffering. It's for the best, for my, for everyone. For Harry.

My heart lurches as I remember him. What will happen to him? He has no family here. No one. He'll be all alone without me.

Will Rachel look after him? Will she raise him like another son? Or will he be left to suffer like I've always been left to suffer. Is it some family curse?

Rachel will look after him, she's a good person, and she'll protect him. The innocent little waif. The orphan. Besides she's spent more time raising him than I have. He probably likes her more than more. Heaven knows everybody else does. I wonder what Jake would think if he met her, would he fall in love with the woman who raises his son. I choke back another sob. Now's not the time for hysterics.

I have to keep a clear head, be sensible. I have to do what's best for me, now. Move forward. Take my life. Press a little deeper with the knife, quickly bleed out, surrounded by a pool of my own blood. Quicker this time, quicker than last time.

So I've made my decision, and I know I'll go through with it. I'm not the kind of person who backs out of something. I didn't last time and I won't this time.

Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder.

I've made my decision. It ends tonight.