Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. Flyleaf and Simple Plan owns the songs!
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Okay here is the new chapter…enjoy! Oh don't forget to REVIEW pretty please.
Chapter 25
Bella's POV
"I just don't understand why you would want to live alone Bella." Edward sighed. We were standing in front of baby cribs in Tottini's arguing about my decision to move out.
"I don't think it's any business of yours Edward, I'm expecting your babies; that's where our relationship end. You don't have to understand anything else." I simply said. I was looking for dark colors, I know everybody always uses light colors in baby nurseries, but frankly I don't give a damn. I'm different and I'll be damned if everything in my babies' room is going to be white. I was standing in front of a dark brown crib made of durable birch wood. The name on the tag said Papa crib and I chuckled to myself.
"I like this one." I said and Edward took the tag out of my hand to read everything about the crib.
"Wow it's got two mattress platform heights and it has open slats on all four sides. Plus it has maximum air flow and patented compact-fold construction for easy storage. Are you sure about the color though?" he asked me.
"Yup, I told you that I didn't like the color white so much, I realize this is going to be a nursery but don't worry, I've been to an interior decorator and he's given me some great ideas." I said with a smile. This day has been really tiring and it took me almost two hours just to find the right crib. Edward nodded and we started walking to the changing dressers. I must admit to myself that I'm thrilled having Edward with me today. It's nice to hear his opinions and having him share his thoughts on what he'd like. We've decided to not really buy any clothes yet as we were hoping to find out the sex of the triplets first, which might be in seven weeks.
"Bella, please reconsider about moving into this house you bought. I can't stand the thought of you being alone." Edward started again.
"When I moved to L.A. four months ago Edward, I was all alone and I survived. I need to do this so please just drop it okay?" I hissed.
"Four months ago when you moved to L.A. you weren't pregnant Bella with triplets I might add." Edward said while he walked straight to a changing dresser and took a stand next to it. "I'm guessing that you want this one?" he said pointing towards a dark brown birch wood dresser and I started laughing.
"You're right, it's perfect and it matches the crib that we decided on." I said and smiled at him. "I can take care of myself Edward and I would prefer it if we could talk about something else." I sighed.
"It has four large drawers and a removable wooden toiletry holder." He read from the tag. He dropped the subject of me moving into my own place, but he wasn't happy about it. We went to the sales lady and ordered three of each and I gave her my new address where it should be delivered to. Edward demanded on paying for everything and I wasn't in the mood for another argument so I let him pay for everything.
I unlocked the front door to my new house and excitement filled my heart. I bought this house and I'm going to live here on my own with my triplets and to be honest, I can't wait. I'm over excited about my decision and I know I'm doing the right thing. It's also weird that I'm already starting to feel stronger and more confident about becoming a single mother. Don't get me wrong, I still miss Edward and I sometimes still feel broken and I still love him with every beat of my heart, but I now loved my triplets more. I'm living for them and my heart is beating for them. They are my strength, my rock.
"Wow, urm Bella this is awesome." Edward said while walking into my new house. It was still empty because I was so busy shopping for furniture for the nursery that I haven't done any furniture shopping for my house at all. The living room was very spacious and also had a fireplace, not that I'll need it because I've installed central heating systems.
"It feels like this house was built for me," I whispered and he nodded. We walked to the kitchen, which was my favorite place at the moment, maybe it was because of the colors, I don't know but I loved it. The kitchen floor consisted of black tiles and all the cupboards were a rich red with black granite tops. My favorite was the big island in the middle of the kitchen.
"I love the color in the kitchen Bells, it's so…so warm." He said.
"I know it's amazing." I whispered back and I led him out of the kitchen into the hall where we went up the stairs to where all the bedrooms were. All the bedrooms had wooden floors which I loved. We went into the main bedroom and I don't know if it's my imagination or not, but every time I see this room it seems bigger. It consisted of two big windows, a walk in dressing room and an en-suite bathroom. The bathroom was black and white with a huge shower and bath. I took Edward into every single room, only because he insisted on seeing every room, and I explained that the room next to mine would be the nursery.
"Thank you for letting me go with you today Bella" he said while driving back to Emmett's house, which wasn't far from my new home.
"It was nothing Edward, besides I did promise you that I won't keep you out of the triplets' lives." I said. The rest of the drive was silent.
Emmett hasn't spoken to me since last night when I've made the announcement of me moving out. I don't know what to say to him or how to handle the situation, but he has to realize that we've both got lives to live. He and Rosalie are now engaged and I'm pregnant, it's time to part. It breaks my heart to know that we're all grown-up and we can't live together forever.
Everyone was sitting around the kitchen table when Edward and I walked in. I didn't miss the hateful glare that Jane gave me before she pulled Edward into her arms and kissed him passionately. I couldn't see Edward's face because he was standing with his back to me but Jane looked like she enjoyed the kiss. I met Emmett's gaze and a smile appeared. I grinned at him before falling into his lap like old times.
"I'm going to miss you Bells." He whispered and I felt tears sting my eyes.
"Not as much as I'm going to miss you," I said while sobbing.
"I'm sorry for being an ass about this whole thing," he grinned and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You were an ass, but I understand why you reacted that way Em. We thought that we'd be living together forever, we forgot that we'll be growing up and have families and actual lives. I love you to death, but we need to do this." I explained.
"You're right," he said.
Emmett and me started making lasagna for dinner and I must admit that I haven't had this much fun with Emmett in a long time. We had a really hard year and I just hope that all that is behind us now. We invited Jasper and Alice as well.
For the first time in a long time we're having dinner at our huge dining table which seated twelve people. We were all laughing and joking around drinking wine, well they drank wine, I had mineral water. Everyone looked so happy, except Edward. His constant sadness was a riddle to me.
"Wow this lasagna is the best." Rose said and everybody agreed.
"Bella why are you so quiet?" Alice asked.
"I don't know Alice; I guess I'm just tired." I said annoyed.
"I've got an idea, why don't we all go to the Fun House?" Jasper suggested and even though I'm pregnant, I thought it was a great idea. I haven't seen Embry in a while.
"Bella's pregnant Jasper or have you forgotten that information?" Edward asked Jasper.
"Edward I can answer for myself thank you very much." I hissed and turned to Jasper, "I think it's a great idea Jazz, besides I don't need to drink and I'm not that big, yet." I said with a smile and heard my brother chuckle.
Edward and Jane went in his Volvo and the rest of us went in Emmett's Jeep. I struggled getting dressed for this occasion, no matter what I wore the little bump showed. I wore skinny black jeans with my fourteen eye doc Martins and a white off the shoulder tee and a black jacket. When Emmett pulled into a parking space I jumped out of the Jeep and found Edward and Jane waiting for us by the entrance. Edward looked sexy as hell with his black cargo pants and combo boots and a white tee. He also wore a black jacket.
"Bella, long time no see girl." Embry yelled above the music. He pulled me into a hug and I smiled because I really missed this place and I missed Embry.
"I've been living in L.A. for a few months and just recently moved back here." I said and it didn't surprise me that this wasn't news to him. I'm a celebrity and I'm always in some magazine or newspaper or news.
"How have you been?" he asked and I told him all about L.A. and everything, I just skipped the Edward part and also the pregnancy part. I'll announce it as soon as someone asks. I'm just stressed as to what I'll tell everybody, I mean Edward is the father but he is in a relationship with Jane and to explain that to the world would be, well confusing.
I excused myself after a while and found my way back to Emmett and the rest of the gang. Everyone was drinking, even Edward, not that I mind. He did promise me that he wouldn't drink like he did a week ago and as long as he keeps that promise I don't mind him drinking. I can almost see him relaxing and having a good time.
Edward's POV
My eyes kept searching for Bella and I stole glances in her direction. She looks beautiful tonight and it amazes me to see how strong she is. Here I am, falling apart, but Bella is pulling through and I can see the change in her eyes. She doesn't have that emptiness in her eyes, I know it's because of the triplets and I'm so grateful for that. Once they are born, she can forget about me and our love and focus on the triplets. She'll be so busy raising three babies that she won't have time to think about me anyways.
I ordered another beer and took a swig. I promised Bella that I wouldn't drink so much anymore and I kept my promise. I won't drink like that again that's why I'm drinking beers only. I glared at Jane with hate. I don't know why she stays with me, I mean I treat her like shit and even when we have sex; I refuse to do anything. I usually just lay there to get it over and done with. Every time when she's done she would tell me how useless I am and how I can't please a woman. I would just turn around and pretend that I'm asleep. I don't care what she thought about me.
"We've got royalty in the house, guys." I heard someone announce and when I turned around I saw that it was Embry. "Punk Rocking Skulls in the house." He yelled and everybody started cheering and clapping hands some people whistling. All of us lifted our hands and waved to everyone. "Why don't you sing something?" Embry asked.
"Okay," I yelled back and Bella widened her eyes in shock. "Don't worry Bella, I've got this covered." I whispered while winking. She was about to open her mouth and say something, but I was already up and started walking to the stage. Emmett followed me and he seemed excited.
When I walked onto the little stage the crowd went crazy and I felt my adrenaline started pumping. I wondered if this feeling will ever go away, I hope not because this feels great and to know that we are loved by our fans is awesome. "Thank you guys, I want to sing a different kind of song tonight, it's more punk than the other songs I used to perform. I hope you enjoy it and welcome to my life." I yelled and started strumming on my guitar. Emmett knows this song, we've practiced it a couple of times.
"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life"
I looked at the crowd jumping up and down, shouting and whistling and I couldn't help but think if they even knew what I was singing. To them this was just another song performed by Edward Cullen, did they even stop to think why I'm singing this song or that this is not just words, they are what my life was about right now. I'm not happy at all and it seems that no one knows me as well as they thought they did.
"Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like"
I sang the chorus in silence just like me and Emmett practiced. It just sounded better to sing this part without instruments or music. When I stopped singing everybody cheered and whistled and yelled. A huge grin spread across Emmett's face and I couldn't help but smile. That was fun to say the least. Emmett lightly punched my shoulder when we walked back to our table. "Awesome bro," he whispered. It was strange to say that I didn't feel awesome, I expressed a lot of feelings through that song and I can feel my heart bleeding again. Jane stood up and wrapped her arms around me giving me a really deep kiss, which I hated. I lightly pushed her away and took another swig of my beer.
"I hope you're not getting drunk tonight." She said simply and I clenched my jaw.
"What the fuck is your problem Jane? I haven't been drinking in a week," I said through my teeth.
"It's just better to have sex with you when you're sober." She grinned and I knew she was doing this to hurt Bella and I wanted to ring her neck.
"How about this, we don't have sex tonight." I said and she narrowed her eyes. This woman was like a sex maniac and I can't believe she would do it every night with someone that wasn't interested in having sex with her and where she has to do all the work.
"I'm sorry, but we don't want to hear about your sex stories and I think you're being rude to talk about it in front of us, Jane." Alice said through her teeth and I knew Ali was pissed now.
"Who asked for your opinion Alice?" Jane hissed.
"You know what Jane, no one asked but I'm giving it anyways because that is a private matter and I'm sure I'm speaking for everybody here; keep your sex stories to yourself." Alice said as calmly as she could. I could see deep down that Alice is absolutely furious and she would attack Jane if Jane didn't shut up.
"Aren't you a fun crowd to hang out with?" Jane said sarcastically.
"Would you two stop bickering please?" Bella hissed. Jane wanted to say something but I quickly interrupted her.
"What time will the cribs and changing drawers be delivered Bella?" I asked.
"Tomorrow morning at nine-"
"Bella please come and sing us a song." Embry announced over the mic. She couldn't say no to that and stood up, walking towards the stage. "Everybody put your hands together for Bella Swan." He yelled and everybody started clapping hands, some guys were whistling. Bella looked sexy as hell and I can't blame any man that longed for her now.
"Thank you guys, it's been a while since I was on a stage. Anyways I wrote a couple of new songs and you will realize that they differ from my previous songs, a lot." She said with a shaky breath. Emmett smiled behind the drums. "Okay guys this is called, Sorrow." She said and I felt the hole in my chest grew.
She strummed on the electric guitar and when she started singing my heart went into overdrive. I never seem to get enough of her voice.
"Sometimes life seems too quiet into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars
JOY WILL COME"
She yelled the last sentence and to say it was different from her other songs was an understatement. I didn't even know Bella could shout like that, it sounded…it was like she wanted to shout joy into her life. Everybody cheered and went crazy and as I looked at Bella I notice her little blush, the one that I've missed for so long. I haven't seen it in a while and to see it now was beautiful.
Bella's POV
Emmett and I walked back to our table and I was exhausted after that performance. I'm thrilled that everybody loved it, well everybody except Jane that is. I saw the hateful glare she gave me but it didn't bother me at all because Jane wasn't a factor in my life. I know she's jealous of me; maybe she's afraid that I'll steal Edward from her, if only she knew that Edward wasn't interested in me as a life partner. He chose her and that's it.
"Bella as your manager I just wanted to say that that was fucking brilliant. I loved every minute of that song and the way you sung it was amazing. I loved the shouting at the end." Jasper said.
"Thanks Jazz," I said with a smile. Jane huffed but I ignored her.
"I'm sure everybody's having a good time, but my sister is pregnant and I want to get her home if you guys don't mind?" Em said and I sighed in relief. I was about to ask him if we could go because I felt tired.
When we got home I went straight to my room and took a long hot shower. It was freezing cold outside and I once again silently thanked Jacob for installing the central heating system. My hand went to my abdomen and I traced my fingers over the little bump. "I love you guys so much." I whispered while a tear rolled down my cheek. I miss Edward, I miss his touch, his kisses but most of all I miss the way he said 'I love you'. I really thought that I was getting past all this but I guess I was wrong. The open wounds are still open and the blood still streams out and it's still fucking painful. Why the hell can't I just get stitched up and get on with my damn life?
I crawled into bed after that long shower and although I was beyond tired, I just couldn't fall asleep. I kept hearing Edward's song that he sung. I just can't explain the hurt expression on his face or the painful agony in his eyes, I can't think of a logical explanation. He chose his life and left me broken, but I'm sure I'm better off than Edward is. I have a few breakdowns but I look happier than Edward does, he is in constant pain and agony.
"Bella,"
I groaned hearing my name and someone constantly knocking on my door. I was still tired and wasn't ready to wake up yet. "Leave me alone," I mumbled so softly that I barely heard myself. Edward opened the door and came to stand next to my bed.
"Have you forgotten about the cribs being delivered today?" he asked. My eyes flew open and jumped out of bed.
"Shit," I said and felt a blush on my cheeks when I caught Edward staring at me. I only have my boy shorts on and a white tank top. He has seen me in less clothing than this, but that was when I thought he was single or when I thought he would choose me. I ignored him and ran to safety, my closet. I just pulled on some skinny jeans, a tee and hoodie for warmth and my low chucks. I want to be comfortable today. My head was pounding from the little sleep I had but ignored it.
Edward drove to my new house in silence. When we got there the delivery van was already parked in the driveway. Edward ran to the guy and apologized for us being late. After they carried everything in, I went into the nursery and looked around. The walls are white at the moment and I'm not sure if I'm going to leave it white or paint it.
"I know you've already decided on a color scheme for the nursery, please tell me." Edward said and startled me a little. I haven't noticed him come into the room.
"The interior decorator helped me with the color matching and since I don't know what we're expecting and even if I did know it won't make any difference. What if we have two boys and one girl or one boy and two girls or all girls…well you get the picture; they will all share a room for the first two years of their lives and I wanted the colors to match boys and girls. I saw these cute duvet sets for the cribs, which I haven't bought yet, still waiting to know whether it's boys or girls or both, well anyways, they were a light turquoise blue and chocolate brown-"
"What if its girls, then they'll have a blue room?" he interrupted me and I huffed.
"There were two duvet sets, one for boys and one for girls; the girls' had the cutest butterflies on and the boys' had bugs on. It was designed for twins or triplets…anyways those colors look good together and can be used for girls or boys." I said excitedly. I know I'm probably just weird but I don't care, and besides I don't think it's that weird since there are people who have done this. I have seen the pictures from the interior decorator and that's where I thought about it.
"Well it's different but I like it Bella. When do we start?" he asked and I chuckled.
"I think after the New Year's concert, then I'll be twenty weeks and we'll maybe see what we're expecting." I said. I loved looking at Edward when we spoke about the triplets; that's when his eyes lit up and fills with love and adoration. One thing I'm sure off is that Edward will love his children more than anything else in this life. He will adore them and put them first in his life and keep them safe.
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