"Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this – keep a comfortable distance."
Hermione knocked three times on the front door. Severus and Hermione were greeted by his former Gryffindor student. Her red hair was longer than he ever remembered it being. It was tied back into a low, neat ponytail. Her hazel eyes were shining brightly as she hugged Hermione. Hermione beamed at her. She looked over Hermione's shoulder and turned red as she noticed Severus. He smirked at her and bowed his head, "Missus Potter."
"Hello, Professor," She said, "Please, enough with the formalities. I'm not in school anymore. Please, call me Ginny."
Her voice had matured a lot, "I am no longer your Professor, either. My name is Severus," He said and extended his hand.
She put her pale hand into his much larger one and he kissed her knuckles quickly and gentlemanly. She blushed and she ushered the couple inside.
"Since when did he become so human!" Ginny hissed into Hermione's ear. Severus heard this comment and smirked to himself.
He turned to face the two women and took in Ginny's appearance. She was wearing jeans and a purple top. She had a more noticeable pregnant belly, "Are you well?" He asked her.
"Yes, the baby and I are doing well. Has…Anyone told you the name for our second son?" She said and put her hand over her belly.
"No," Severus raised an eyebrow at her curiously.
"Ah, well, I'll leave that to Harry, then," She said awkwardly and then finished with, "Speaking of which - let me go fetch him."
Ginny brushed past him and he turned to Hermione, "What in the blazes was she on about?"
"I've no idea, Severus, it's been a while since I've seen her," She shrugged.
Ginny returned with Harry Potter following in her wake. He was carrying a child with dark hair and hazel eyes. The child was definitely Potter's but looked more like his mother.
Severus outstretched his hand to Harry and nodded; Harry took his hand and shook it firmly.
"Well, ladies, when can we expect you back?" Harry smiled at his wife and best friend.
"Not too late, love," Ginny smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips.
Severus' heart thumped loudly against his breastbone. He would have to kiss Hermione goodbye in front of two of his former students. He was dizzy. His ears began to ring.
"I'll see you later, Ginny. Be careful, you two!" Harry said with a smile on his face as he adjusted the child in his arms.
Hermione came up in front of Severus and noticed his dazed look, "Don't have touch much fun without me, all right? And try not to miss me too much!" She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his cheek.
No. He couldn't do that anymore. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her gently back toward him. He put his lips against hers in a light, brief kiss, "Have fun and please, please be careful," He said to her, taking in the look of shock on her face.
She smiled brightly at him, "I will!" She walked happily out the door with Ginny giggling at her.
Harry cleared his throat, "Oh, by the way Professor, this is James," Harry said stroking his son's cheek. The boy had his thumb in his mouth and he looked up from Harry's shoulder at the taller man.
"Hello, James," The name didn't have the sour taste like it had had for so long.
The boy perked up and picked his head up off of his father's shoulder. He took his thumb out of his mouth and studied Severus intently. He then put his arms out, reaching for Severus. Severus knew what this gesture meant and his stomach dropped and he unconsciously stepped away from the child.
"Would you like to hold him?" Harry asked him carefully, "I mean, it's like practice for you," He said nervously.
"I'm not sure I'd be any good at it," Severus said uncomfortably.
"He'll make you good at it," Harry smiled, "Trust me."
Severus stepped back to Harry and the child reached for him further and Severus stuck his hands out under James' arms and the child practically climb into his arms. He snuggled into his chest quickly and put his head in the nape of Severus' neck.
"See?" Harry laughed, "You're a natural."
Severus stood speechless for a moment. He could feel the child's hair brushing against the scar on his neck and he could feel him breathing lightly – in and out, in and out.
"Here," Harry said and pulled James from Snape's chest, "Let me put him to bed…"
Snape nodded, confused at how empty his arms now felt. Harry disappeared up the stairs and Severus stood where he had been in the kitchen. He looked around. Potter was living quite comfortably. His kitchen had a white-tiled floor. His table was dark mahogany with six elegant matching wooden chairs. A bouquet of tulips was in a glass vase in the middle of the table. He heard a step creak and turned to see Harry walking down the steps.
"Please, sit down, Professor," Harry gestured to the kitchen table.
Severus swallowed uncomfortably. He should extend the same courtesy to Harry as he had to Ginny and Hermione, "Severus," He said.
"What?" Harry asked, confused.
"You may call me Severus, or Snape," He nodded his head and took a seat at the table.
"Then I insist you call me Harry," Harry said as he sat down in the seat opposite of Severus.
"Perhaps," Severus said softly, "Now, you must have questions. I'm here, ready to show my hand… Ask your questions," Snape studied Harry intently, watching as thoughts ran through his brain.
"What was she like? My mother?" Harry asked.
Severus had expected that, "She was kind and charming. She was very slender. She had freckles. She had a fabulous sense of humor. She was a fantastic Charms student. She was very good in Potions, as well. Contrary to her name, a single red rose was her favorite. She liked flying and Quidditch. She enjoyed reading and writing. She loved writing letters. She was very loyal and very determined. When she put her mind to a task, the task was completed almost to perfection every time."
Harry smiled as he stared at his folded hands on the table, "Was there anything she was really bad at?"
"She was not much a public speaker. She hated giving speeches and demonstrations or being called upon in class. She wasn't very good at Transfiguration, either. She once failed to transform a dove into a pen and the pen had white wings. It took almost an hour for her and I to catch it," He looked at Harry, watching as he learned about his mother.
"What about my dad?" Harry said as he looked up into Severus' face.
Severus moved his gaze away from Harry's, "I'm afraid I cannot offer you much information on him. As you well know, he and I were not…Friends," He said.
"What do you know about him?"
"He was confident. He was a skilled Seeker. He was very good at Defense Against the Dark Arts. He was very intelligent and very quick. He was witty and sarcastic. He was genuinely accepted as "funny" and "charming". He was quite arrogant and I am not just speaking from a grudge. He was fiercely loyal, though, and proud. He took pride in everything that he did. He would have done anything for his friends," Severus said as he reflected on James.
"What did my mum even see in him? He seemed like a right ass from what I saw in your memories," Harry scowled.
"Do not get me wrong, Potter, I did not like your father while we were at school. But, he was very good to your mother and he loved her and he loved you with everything in him. He was good to her. He was good to his friends. We just didn't get on…Like you and Mr. Malfoy," Severus noted.
"So he did treat my mum well?" Harry questioned.
"Yes, of course. He loved your mother, he really loved her," Snape said, "And he loved his son. I saw you once, before they died. I made it a habit of following your family after I learned what the prophecy meant. I saw you. Your father was so proud of you and so in love with you. He showed you off to everyone around him. If you doubt anything in your parent's character, let it not be that they loved you more than anything in the world."
"Did you even like me?" Harry asked, searching Snape's face, "Or did you honestly hate me? I guess I just don't think you did any of it for me… It was all for my mum. Did you even care at all?"
Snape looked at him seriously. He hadn't been expecting this question. He took a deep breath, "Look at me," He said and the green eyes found the black, "I do not hate you. I never did. I had to play my part, Potter, you must understand that. If I didn't give a damn about your wellbeing I would've quit long before the War. You were a modest boy, likeable, even charming. You were intriguing. Your face was so like your father's, but so vastly different than his; your personality was so alike to your mother's. You were quite entertaining," He said with a smirk.
"So, you did protect me…To protect me?" Harry questioned uneasily.
"Yes," Severus said smoothly, "I had to play my part. I had to pretend I detested your existence. You made it easy, though, with your determined rule-breaking and your cheek," His black eyes glittered and Harry chuckled.
"I'm sorry that I look so like my dad," Harry said, "I can't imagine that made anything easier on you…"
"Do not apologize for that!" Snape scolded him sharply, "I remember when I first saw you in school. You remember as well, too, I assume…It was the first time your scar burned because Quirrell was sitting with his back to you. You looked up at me, bright-eyed and curious. I knew who you were, of course, not by your face but by your eyes. Dumbledore had told me years before that you had the exact shape and color of your mother's eyes. I admit I was jealous for a long time, perhaps, I felt you should have been mine. Yes, you looked hauntingly like your father, but I saw Lily in you more than I saw James."
"Tell me what it was like…Losing my mum," Harry said, "I'm not trying to be morbid, Snape, I just…I never got any closure, I was never able to grieve."
Snape clenched his jaw and looked down at the table, "It was the worst night of my life, Potter, truly. It felt like my heart had been yanked out of my chest, stomped on, shredded, and then shoved down my throat. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. It hurt to sleep. It hurt to be awake. I had lost the only good thing in my entire life once, as friends, and then I had truly, completely, and finally lost her entirely," He looked at Harry who seemed to hang on his every word.
"She had been the only true friend I had had," He said and he gazed out the window behind Harry's head, "I regretted so many things. I wished to take back every choice I had ever made. It felt like my chest was going to cave in and explode at the same time. It felt like the world was spinning so quickly that it had seemed to stop…"
Severus tried to master his emotions but he hadn't talked about any of this in his entire life. His emotions were getting the best of him, "I blame myself for everything terrible that has happened to you. You being an orphan is my fault, Voldemort wanting to kill you is my fault… Everything is my fault," His voice cracked and he sniffed loudly.
"I'm sorry, Harry," Severus said as he uttered the boy's first name to him for the first time, "I'm so terribly sorry."
"Severus, it's not your fault. I had to be the one to defeat him. It had to be me. My parents had to die. You had to tell Voldemort that prophecy. It had to be that way," Harry assured him.
Severus looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but honesty and compassion, "I would give anything for you to meet your mother and father. I would give anything for you to be able to hug them, touch them, for them to kiss you and hold you…"
"It had to be this way, Severus. I do not blame you for anything and if it's any consolation I forgive you," Harry said sincerely.
Severus paused and then nodded, "What other questions do you have?"
"You love Hermione." It wasn't a question.
"Yes," He answered anyway.
"Do not hurt her, Snape," Harry's voice had matured over the years and he now sounded slightly intimidating.
"I can't hurt her. I won't ever hurt her. I need her, I love her," He said honestly.
"Are you intending to marry her?"
"Yes," Severus looked at him, "I am planning to propose this weekend at the graduation ceremonies for the seventh years. I would like if you and Ginny were to be there. You are her best friends, after all. I've invited her father to be there as well. You'd have to remain out of sight though until after I've done it."
"You would like for me to be there? And Ginny? Really?"
"Indeed," Severus said as he raised his eyebrow.
"I just didn't think you liked me that much!" Harry laughed.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, boy," Severus mock-warned him.
Severus chuckled, "So have you picked a name out for the baby boy yet?"
Severus opened his mouth slightly and paused and then said, "No. We haven't actually discussed that."
"Oh, I see. You best get on with that. It's not an easy task, mind you," Harry smirked.
"I certainly wouldn't think so," Severus said.
"Speaking of names…If you're not completely against it, Ginny and I have decided on a name for our son," Harry looked directly into Snape's eyes, "Albus Severus Potter."
Snape's mouth fell open and a million thoughts exploded in his head. Potter was naming his son after him? And Dumbledore? His name forever tied to Dumbledore's and to Potter? He was honored and confused and upset.
"Do you hate the idea?" Harry looked at him.
"I'm not sure," Severus said at length, "I'm honored. Why though?"
"You're probably the bravest man I've ever known," Harry said plainly, as if it was a well-known fact.
Snape's eyes welled up with tears and he sucked in a massive amount of air. Harry looked at him, concerned, and stood up from his chair and went around to Snape, who had started to shake, "Severus," He stumbled over the named, "Are you all right?" He asked and put his hand on the older man's shoulder gently.
Snape released the breath he had been holding and began to cry. He couldn't help himself. He had no control. Harry pulled at his shoulder so that his face was pressed into Harry's stomach. The young man wrapped his arm around Snape's back and his free hand rested on the back of Severus' head.
Harry seemed to understand, as his mother had been able to understand, "No matter how I feel about some of the decisions Professor Dumbledore made and how he treated me…And you… He still got me through the War. He prepared me to the best of his ability and he always tried to do what he thought was best for the cause. I owe everything to two men – Albus Dumbledore and you, Severus Snape. Dumbledore raised me up. He watched over me and he helped me grow up and come to the recognition of what I was to the cause, to the War, and to the Wizarding World. And you, Severus, you were always there. You were in the shadows watching my every move carefully. You were like a great watchdog. You were always there when I needed saving, you were always there when I was in danger. You forced me into becoming a man. You forced me to master my emotions. You demanded the best from me because that was what it would take for me to survive the war. You sacrificed everything you had and then almost your life to protect me and to end the War."
Severus hung on every word and clutched Harry's back with his long-fingered hand, "I'm so sorry for everything that I did to you. I'm so bloody sorry."
"I forgive you. You had to make me a man. You had to do it."
Snape breathed slowly for a moment before pulling away from Harry and resting his face in his hands as he propped his elbow up on the table.
"Tea?" Harry asked and began to make tea after Snape shrugged.
"I've not talked to Albus since right after the War ended…After I was released from St. Mungo's and came back to Hogwarts," Severus mumbled.
"I wouldn't expect you, too. I didn't talk to him for almost two years after the War. He didn't want to see us hurting, Snape but our positions and actions for the War were far too valuable. He couldn't let us make ourselves vulnerable by talking about how we were doing. He had to keep us all bottled up. It wasn't right. It wasn't healthy. But, it had to be that way…" Harry said lowly.
"I have nothing to say to him," Severus said with finality.
"I'm sure he has things he would like to say to you, though. I'm not telling you should speak with him. If you want to hear him out, then hear him out. If you don't, then don't. It's your choice and you have every right to be angry with him for the rest of your life," Harry said honestly.
"I don't want to be angry for the rest of my life, though. I spent most of it angry and remorseful already…"
"Then go and let him speak to you," Harry suggested, "You don't have to tell him anything, really. Just let him speak and forgive him for what he cannot change. It's not a contract. You don't have to speak to him ever again after that."
"Yes, indeed," Severus said thoughtfully, "Perhaps I will let him speak one of these days…"
"Here's your tea," Harry said and gave him the steaming cup.
"Thank you," Severus said and took a small sip of it.
"The women should be home soon," Harry noted, nodding his head toward the clock and then taking his seat across from Severus once more.
"Yes," Severus agreed, "Harry…"
Harry looked up at him over his cup, "Yes?"
"Thank you…For testifying," Snape said.
"I owed it to you. The wizarding world owed it to you."
"Thank you," Snape said.
"So, have you been doing well since your trial?"
"Yes for the most part. I'm harassed by media and that blasted Rita Skeeter. I do not speak with any of them. Obnoxious…The lot of them," Snape scowled.
"She is rather disgusting, isn't she?" Harry returned with a scowl of his own.
"Indeed. You seem to be doing well yourself," Snape noted.
"Yes. Auror training went well and I'm doing alright for myself. I enjoy it. I am glad to rid our world with the dirty scum that still walk among us," Harry said with a smirk.
"I'm sure you do enjoy that," Severus smirked at him through bloodshot eyes.
A twisting of the kitchen door handle caused both men to jump. Hermione and Ginny walked through the door. Each woman held two bags and both were laughing and smiling.
Harry watched Snape's face as he watched Hermione. His eyes lit up and his whole body seemed to relax at her presence. He truly loved her.
Snape stood up and breathed, "Hermione."
Hermione looked at him and then noticed his red rimmed eyes. She looked between Snape and Harry quickly. Harry smiled softly and shrugged his shoulders, "Severus, did you miss me?" She laughed nervously.
He smiled, "I am…Finding it harder and harder to be away from you."
"Sweetheart," She smiled, "Oh, Ginny, I'm exhausted! It was so wonderful seeing you. We will have to get together much more often. I've seem to have my life sorted out now," She patted Snape's chest, "I have missed our time together!"
"Oh, me too, 'Mione!" Ginny said happily and squeezed her into a hug.
"I would hope that old Snape here doesn't make himself a stranger, either," Harry said, "I enjoyed our time together."
"As did I," Snape nodded, "I will try not to make myself scarce."
Harry outstretched his hand and Snape took it and was extremely surprised when Harry pulled him to him and wrapped his free arm around Snape's back. Snape returned the gesture and they separated, leaving two women wide-eyed and gaping at them.
"I believe we will take our leave," Snape said and grasped Ginny's hand and kissed her knuckles again.
Harry pulled Hermione into a hug and kissed her cheek in a brotherly way, "You take care of her, you hear me, Snape?"
"I intend to do nothing else," He said as Hermione looped her arm into his and they Apparated back to Hogwarts.