25.
Title: Awake
Prompt: Surprise Attack
Pairing/Character(s): Kenpachi, Various Espada
Word Count: 592
A/N: Thanks for the prompt from ru-kujaku! This was a weird one to write. Kinda cracky. And weird. I will make up for missing that day at one point, I promise.
Grimmjow, Nnoitora, and Yammy were all grinning maniacally. That was the normal part. Them being in Seireitei in the middle of the night, hiding their presence whilst trying to hold in their snickers and smirks (and failing as miserably as Harribel did the one time she tried to dress up as a boy...a story for another time).
Ulquiorra, the only one of the gathered Espada that still managed to keep his countenance calm-even Tia had a smile on her face-took charge, despite not being the highest-ranking Espada present. "It's time to return to Hueco Mundo. Szayel will be joining us there later, since he has more preparations to make." A few murmured 'lucky bastards' later, the garganta closed and they turned their back on Seireitei for now.
The next day, all was ready. Seiretei had woken up to its surprise and the Espada were all prepped and ready to go on their oncoming incursion.
Well, all Seireitei hadn't really woken up. The customary Captain's meeting had not gone on. The hall was empty. Zaraki Kenpachi was uncertain at the emptiness, for once. Where the hell were all the Captains? Why hadn't he gotten a notice that it had been cancelled? He stalked over to the First Division, hoping to get a straight answer from the Soutaicho.
It probably wouldn't be one of his best decisions, but the fight would be well worth it.
Except for one thing: when he pushed the doors open, there was no one there. What the hell? Grumbling to himself, Kenpachi dragged himself over to the second division. He wasn't prepared for what he saw.
Soi Fon was splayed out on a spider's web, wearing her typical black shihakusho without her haori and with a cape with a golden clasp in the shape of a bat. Needless to say, he backed out of there really quickly.
At the door to the division he had made for his exit, he came across Shihoin Yoruichi. A slumbering Yoruichi dressed in a blue-and-red corset with a black wig, high red boots with heels, tied loosely by a golden rope.
He had ran, and he hadn't seen any divisions until he came across the Seventh. He didn't bother enter it, door blocked by a Iba wearing an obnoxiously red and yellow costume of metal, and Komamura a similar silvery one.
He had finally given up on his fellow Captains after Aizen wearing the loud blue one with the red cape and the golden S outlined with red on a gold diamond on his chest. Wait...Aizen? What was he doing here?
On cue, the spooky music started and hollow masks started to rain from the sky.
Grimmjow and Nnoitora had spent ages defeating all the hollows they had had to to get the masks. Now they were being wasted, flung against the ground and broken. But the look on Kenpachi's face was well worth it.
And the confusion was nearly immortalized. Nearly.
Yammy had swung his zanpakutou at Kenpachi, who hadn't so much as flinched when he returned to reality.
"So this is yer doin'?" He drawled, picking up his jagged-edged sword. "Psychological shit?"
"No, that was Aizen's idea." Ulquiorra's voice broke into the silence.
Yammy didn't wait for Kenpachi's response. He just charged him and started the fight. Ulquiorra shook his head minutely and took a syringe from his uniform's hidden pocket. He found another shinigami and deftly injected the cure into their bloodstream.
Psychological shit indeed, he thought as the shinigami groused and surprised himself with being the only one awake.