A Blaze of Inquisitorial Proportions

Note at end.

Lizzy had never run so fast in her life. She cleared hedges and stiles; even cut through Farmer Griegson's prized turnip patch, much to that kindly old gentleman's chagrin. She passed the sergeant on this morning walk, leapt over a stray sheep; and got a nasty gash on her forearm from a bramble that she hadn't the time to knock out of her path.

Mere minutes after Lady Lucas had made her dramatic revelation; Lizzy was scuttling up the steps of the ship and tumbling into the arms of none other than…

"Lady Piedmont!" she gasped.

The force of the collision had knocked them both to the floor.

Sir Teddy was by Lady Piedmont's side immediately, concerned. Darcy was standing by with an ironical smile, and Joe was perched on the edge of a chair, already red-faced from drink.

"But…I don't understand. You're supposed to be missing. I thought you were…I mean, you're supposed to be…kidnapped." Lizzy could not seem to get her words to come out in any proper order.

"Yes, exactly, my dear," Lady Piedmont said, very kindly for an expectant mother who has just been knocked to the ground by a harum-scarum whirlwind of a girl.

"I'm flabbergasted…puzzled…utterly perplexed," Lizzy said, letting out a whoosh of air. She refused Darcy's helping hand, preferring to remain in a heap upon the floor. "I just ran five miles to alert Sir Teddy that you were…missing."

"And here I am," Lady Piedmont said. There was a twinkle in her eye.

"Not missing!"

"Oh, no. I am most certainly missing."

"But here!"

"Yes, here."

"In the present moment. And I'm not seeing things? You're not a product of my imagination, some sort of trick played by my intense desire to see you?"

Darcy pinched her.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Absolutely not."

"Permit me to be happy now," Lizzy said, "I think I'm finally capable of feeling relief." And she struggled to her feet and rushed to embrace Lady Piedmont, now settled on a low settee. The force and gusto of her grasp was enough to warrant Sir Teddy's intervention.

"You'll suffocate her," he said, gently extricating Lizzy's arms from his wife's neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was just so worried. I thought the entire time that Wickham or Sir Arnold had poisoned you…or strangled you…or sold you into slavery..."

"A bit far-fetched, that last one," Darcy remarked dryly.

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped back.

"But I still don't understand…"

"My dear, I was kidnapped," Lady Piedmont explained, "by Darcy and Joe. They came for me at midnight and spirited me away to Browning Pond…to my dear Theodore."

And she smiled up into the face of the aforementioned.

"I had no idea that he was here. And, oh God! How happy I was to be reunited."

"It was all according to the plan," Joe inserted, a bit tipsily.

"The plan?"

"The very same."

"Do you mean to tell me you had a plan? A plan that you didn't bother to share with me?" This Lizzy directed to Darcy.

"We couldn't risk detection, and you were surrounded on all sides by sisters," Darcy said, "so you needn't look so martyred. Besides, it was too dangerous."

"Too dangerous?"

"Hold your temper, Lizzy.

"How dare you presume! Nothing is too dangerous for me! Especially if it's not too dangerous for you…and a drunkard!"

Joe looked wounded, and Lizzy quickly apologized. "I have nothing against drunkards, of course, Joe. They're highly necessary to the cultural enrichment of our great country."

"Anyway, it was rather a last minute venture. Sir Teddy was so worried about Lady Piedmont, especially in her condition, that his health was being affected. I know that we discussed allowing her ladyship to remain at Haye-Park as a spy of sorts, but, after all, we are dealing with some rather desperate characters…"

"And I couldn't bear for Olivia to remain in such a den of vipers…" Sir Teddy added.

"So, we had a message sent to Lady Piedmont…"

… "via Beatrice, my most trusted servant," Lady Piedmont added…

… "and she slipped down to us, and we brought her here, a place of safekeeping."

"And you're only just telling me?"

"We were busy," Darcy teased.

"I could roast you all in a blaze of Inquisitorial proportions!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, but that wouldn't exactly serve a purpose…"

"It would justify my anger…

"Will you settle for inclusion in the plan?"

Lizzy looked into the tense, excited faces of Sir Teddy, Lady Piedmont, Darcy, and Joe. "I thought you'd never ask," she said.

Dearest, loveliest readers,

It is you have right to wish to roast me in a blaze of inquisitorial proportions. I wanted to make this chapter reams and reams of pages longs…but I thought I'd settle for posting it ASAP…because a reviewer had the great good sense to ask me, "Why aren't you updating?" (Thank you, TH3 R3aD3r, for that much-needed wake-up call.)

I'm not going to make excuses for myself…while, at the same time, making excuses for myself. I have not updated for over twelve months, readers! You have every right to want to roast me! But this past year has been a very, very difficult one for me. I lost someone I love very, very much last November. (I won't attempt to convey in words any more…) Basically, I have not felt like doing anything…just loafing around, sleeping, etc.

I'm sure you all heard about the tornado that hit Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Well, I attend the University of Alabama…so I was there when it happened. Fortunately, the campus was not directly impacted, but parts of Tuscaloosa are absolutely devastated.

Anyway, I just want to thank any and all of you who are still reading this. Who still care. I think I've said this before, but you, my wonderfully amazing readers, are what keep me returning to this. I shouldn't make anymore promises, but I am absolutely determined to finish this. It's been four years in the making, after all!

There isn't much more to go. Stick with me, if you can.

Also, I'm writing a novel! Well, a sort-of novel. I'm not exactly sure where it's going. If, in fact, it's going anywhere.

(I just thought I would add this…I have discovered Doctor Who! Any DW fans out there? I'm not much in to sci fi…but it's absolutely addicting! AH! I've only watched the Matt Smith seasons…but I'm going to work my way backwards…David Tennant seasons next!)

Just a "teaser" …I will give you a nice, long chapter next time…The plan ferments…Amelia packs her trousseau…and Lizzy and Darcy share a "moment"…Spoilers!

I LOVE MY LOYAL READERS! Truly, madly, deeply. The end.