(Clare's POV)
Monday morning I felt like life had been sucked out of me. I blame the weekend. This whole weekend didn't go as I planned. First off, I almost got raped and got a minor knife cut. Second, I found out my best friend and ex-boyfriend are spiteful, revenge maniacs. Third, my parents are getting a divorce. And last but not least, I threw up from all the overwhelming symptoms of the flu and lost five pounds. And ironically, the thing I thought I saw coming never happened. Drew never dumped me.
I started walking toward Eli's locker and he certainly was there. I knew I had to be the bigger and just try to walk away before I do something… maybe even worse than what I did to Fitz. Then all of a sudden, I heard a, "Whore," from his mouth. Of all the nerve!
"You're one to talk you lying, deceitful, evil, heartless, pathetic, son of a gun!" I steamed off right in his face. I don't know how I got to a point of feeling this degree of anger. I certainly wanted to let it out to one of the guys who caused it.
"Excuse me? You're the one who was practically getting dry humped by a guy who's probably had more experience than Hugh Hefner," Eli yelled back.
"At least my boyfriend isn't a scumbag. He certainly would never make a plan to deliberately break a couple apart!" I screamed. Eli certainly did not look as mad anymore.
"What are you talking about?" he denied.
"You damn well know what I'm talking about! Fitz told us everything after you left. I read those text messages. I knew you had a right to be mad but you took it way too far. Like you always do!" I needed to hold back my tears. I started thinking about this pattern Eli has always done: getting even with the people he hurt the most.
"Clare, I'm sorry. It's just I wanted you to feel the pain I felt! And I thought Drew dumping you would do it!" Eli argued, with a shaky voice. Pain? He wanted me to feel pain.
I did something I never wanted to do because it would make me look like a floozy. But my reason wouldn't be because I wanted to show some leg. No, I wanted to show him I got what he wanted. I lifted up my skirt and showed him where the knife cut through. The cut got a lot better than before but it was still visible.
"THERE'S THE PAIN I FELT! Are you satisfied?" I knew onlookers were taking in my hysteria but I didn't care.
"What's that?" Eli spoke in almost a whisper. He knew what it was. I finally let my skirt down.
"Fitz almost raped me and accidently cut me in process. And this wasn't the first encounter I had with him either. Did Fitz forget to mention he tried to pull this again two months ago? That he pushed me against the wall to have his way with me? I screamed your name but you never came!" This is the point where I was hysterical but it came so fast that I couldn't control it.
Eli went silent. I saw a couple tears drops sparkle and slide down his face.
"You might've gotten the knife scare but I got the knife scar. Something that will always be there for the rest of my life. And every time I take notice in this on my leg, I have to be reminded of how that got there. The cries I screamed trying to get Fitz away from me, the tears I made when you broke my heart, the guilt I felt when I hurt you, the fears of getting raped, and the betrayal I felt. That will be with me until the day I die!" The visible scar might go away. But this new one in my heart will always be there.
"Clare, I-" Eli was interrupted by Adam stomping against the hallway.
"Hey, Eli. Is there something you'd like to confess? Like some secret plan you lied to me about? Huh?" Adam huffed. He was right by my side.
"Adam, I-"
"GO TO HELL! I can't believe I ever trusted you as a true guy friend. Because you aren't. As a matter of fact, Fitz can be your new guy friend since you guys seemed to getting along so well. I'm done with you!"
Adam grabbed my hand and we both walked away. I felt a little bad that we ganged up on him like that but the pain flushed it out. Eli would get over it, eventually. He had tough skin and I knew he could get through anything. I knew in my heart I had to forgive him and Ali but not now. It's not as easy to constantly forgive someone whose hurt you too many times to count. Grudges can really get the best of you if let them.
Eli and Ali were perfect examples of that.