Excuse delay, I have had the flu. I love Winter.
It's Murder Sequel
Chapter 25
BPOV
As expected, Edward was checking that every visitor washed their hands and donned a mask before being allowed near the baby. After some deliberation, he decided he and I could merely keep our hands clean and that would be enough, as Kristie no doubt had some immunity to our germs already.
I half expected him to wheel in a glass bubble to keep her inside each time he walked through the door.
Carlisle was doing his best to keep his son happy, so the baby was weighed and measured daily, and her slight, completely expected and normal, initial weight loss discussed at length.
"She's barely six pounds, she can't afford to lose another ounce," Edward agitated.
I would have tried to assure him that Carlisle had said her weight loss was actually a little less than the average but I was busy sucking on a straw.
It seemed I needed 'building up' so my milk supply would come in faster and naturally I had to produce the best quality breastmilk known to man for it to be worthy of his princess.
He grabbed her chart and leaves the room to access a computer and compare her stats online.
The only reason we haven't been whisked away to the hospital is because Edward fears there are too many sick patients there and one of them may infect the baby.
I know in my heart every decision he ever makes from this day forward will be in his idea of what is in Kristie's best interests.
It was a shame she hadn't been accompanied by a twin to spread Edward's attention, but I was still convinced he simply didn't have what it took to endure another pregnancy.
For that reason I was glad that he got his much wanted daughter.
He may have professed to have no preferences by the end, but the man had arrived home on more than one occasion bearing a dozen pink outfits and just the one blue from the hospital gift shop, so no matter what he thought, he had always wanted the baby to be a girl.
I supposed Rose's twins might contain one male so she could have the little stash of boys clothes.
I had mixed feelings about Kristie's gender.
Only because she would be my only child.
I guess I couldn't help but wonder just what a son of Edward's would look like, but as my vision of him had always been that of a clone of his father, in reality a son of ours may not have lived up to my expectations.
He could have been short like me, with boring brown hair and eyes, and how sad to be the son of this amazing Godlike man and not resemble him.
Best it was a girl.
She seemed more like me than him, I thought as I unwrapped her carefully and examined her build. So far,anyway. She's got rather short limbs and a slightly chubby torso, and the prettiest little face, which kind of looks like I looked as a baby.
I was a cute enough toddler, it was as I grew up that I turned more average and ordinary, my Mom had informed me many times.
"But you have the most beautiful father in the world so chances are, you will improve as you grow," I reassured her. She seemed to hang on my every word and stare intently at me when I spoke to her so maybe she liked my voice. Or simply recognised it from her almost forty weeks inside.
Her tiny feet were perfect and her little hands unbelievably small, like a doll's, though her fingers were quite long. Mine had always been short so I found it fascinating that she had taken on some of her father's physical characteristics.
Carlisle and I had a secret bet going, because he thinks the darkness of her eyes means they will be brown, but I can see a hint of green in them that nobody else detects.
She often reached an unsteady hand up towards my face and touched my cheek, which was apparently an indication she was far advanced to other newborns who had zero limb control at this stage. God, I just hoped she would live up to his expectations because falling short would never do. I never wanted this tiny miracle to feel she wasn't good enough.
I don't seriously think Edward would ever find her wanting in any way.
I fear more that he'd be the type of father who changed his standards to accept whatever she became and always found the best in anything she did.
If she ends up an average student, I'm sure he will state that top students tend to be rather full of themselves and pompous, and it's always better to be always trying to achieve some goal through hard work rather than just have all the answers without effort.
But if she is gifted, no doubt it will be 'for the best' in this competitive world.
Her hair is rather thick and longish down the back of her neck, but even I cannot conjure up any touch of auburn in it; not so far.
I want her hair to be like his, because his is amazing, and a little girl with long auburn curls...suddenly I remember I already saw this child before, in my dream. I know she will have his hair and I smile and relax.
I've barely rewrapped her when Edward returns.
"It seems Dad is right. Most babies lose approximately six ounces but I'd really rather she didn't, because that would put her below six pounds. I think demand feeding is the best option but if she goes longer than three hours, we wake her."
"Then it's not really demand feeding," I reply.
"Bella, she's brand new and newborns do not always do what is best for them. We don't want her getting too comfortable and forgetting to feed regularly. It can happen."
The baby nuzzles against my breast so I free it up and let her attach , which she does with much vigour, and she sucks on my nipple loudly.
"We didn't weigh her," he retorts. Edward thinks weighing her before and after every feed is essential at this point.
"Too late, Papa Bear. I think she'd rip your throat out if you tried to detach her now. Edward, go make me a drink, and make one for yourself. You need to chill. Babies pick upon tension and if you truly want to be a great Dad, you have to relax so she can."
He blushes self consciously, and reattaches her chart to the perspex bassinette.
"I'm sorry. I don't know how to be, at the moment. I feel like I'm two people; her father and her doctor."
"But Carlisle is her doctor, so you can just be her Dad. Let him weigh and measure and worry,or not, and just enjoy this, Edward. We will never experience a time like this again."
He stiffens and turns to me.
"You don't want other children? I thought we agreed..."
"Edward, look at you. Look at how you were for the entire pregnancy. Believe me, none of us need to endure that again. And all that worry; all those nightmares...they were pointless. They weren't preparing you for some disaster. The birth was absolutely textbook, it could not have been any better. And she didn't come out biting.. not even crying. She's been relaxed and calm from the very start and now you need to be as well. Look at her. She's perfect. You could have enjoyed the last nine months instead of worrying yourself half to death. Even if things had ended badly, worrying beforehand could not have changed a thing. Let it go. What's the best indicator that a newborn is perfectly healthy?"
"The way it feeds,"he reluctantly admitted.
"And does Kristie feed like a perfectly normal infant?"
"Absolutely," he agreed. The room echoed with the sound of her efforts as she impatiently tried to encourage real milk to replace the colostrum.
"Then promise me you won't look at her chart for three days. You know Carlisle will step in if she needs any sort of complementary feeding while my boobs adjust and make what she wants. Even I know she is getting what she needs at the moment, no matter that she'd prefer a milkshake."
"Fine. I'm sorry," he replied, sitting beside me on the bed and putting an arm around my shoulders. "You are right. There's no point buying trouble. Every test has indicated she is indeed perfect. Her heart is strong and working as it should, her colouring tells us that her liver is kicking in already, and she has enough wet diapers to indicate her kidneys are perfect. We should just enjoy her."
The vacuum grip on my nipple relaxed and I handed her to him to get the wind from her belly as I put one boob away and exposed the second.
Once again, she attached like it was her lifeline and I felt my breast react painfully as she sucked down strongly.
Around midnight my milk came in.
How did I know?
My breasts felt like they were made of some form of very tender, painful stone and my clothes were soaked.
I headed for the shower, and when I got back into bed, Edward handed me the alert little dictator to attach again. He videoed the whole thing and I was glad because the look on her face when the milk rushed into her mouth for the very first time,was priceless.
Her eyes widened as large as saucers, and then she narrowed them and caught my gaze, as if to say 'yes, finally, now you are doing it right, woman."
Already I knew we had a child with attitude.
She patted the empty breast both times, as if to say thanks, and burped loudly, then dropped into the deep sleep of the truly satisfied.
By morning her weight had stabilized and by evening she was up almost two ounces and Edward was smiling as contentedly as she was.
xxxx
The early days flew past so quickly. For some reason we had been blessed with the perfect infant who slept four to five hour shifts at night, and fed around every two and half hours by day, when I was awake anyway.
Awake eating, and drinking, and wondering if I was going to end up gaining more weight while breastfeeding than I had during the pregnancy. I pretended I was only eating like the next meal could be my last because Edward wanted me to, but the fact was,I was starving. Apparently it took a lot of calories to establish and maintain a good supply, but the baby seemed to gain weight in front of our eyes, so I didn't worry; just accepted this was my latest sacrifice. My body may or may not recover it's former figure, but days like today I sincerely doubt it. I'm sure my face is rounder, and we won't even mention the small but very much there rolls around my normally almost concave waist.
"It takes nine months to lose your figure so it's perfectly normal to take nine months to regain it," Rose reads to me from some book. Because she isn't actually pregnant herself, she has a constant need to know every stage Siobhan goes through, and of course she's read ahead to what happens after delivery.
"Great, so the moths will have eaten all my favourite jeans by the time I can get back into them," I moan. Actually, I don't care a lot. I know my blouses and tops will be far too inadequate to house these puppies that rival Dolly Parton's anyway, so unless I go topless, a shopping trip is becoming a complete necessity.
I've informed Edward that we will be taking a trip to Port Angeles, and he's torn between the desire to proudly show off his creation, and the fear the people there are too germ laden.
"She will be safely tucked up in her English pram," I remind him again. "No germs will get through the insect net."
"And not to mention the cat net as well. She's more in danger of being starved for oxygen," Rose laughs.
"Cats do and have smothered sleeping infants," Edward defends.
"But for that to happen, we'd have to own a cat or go someplace where someone else owned a cat, and let's face it, Edward will not let an animal of any sort near Kristie until she is eighteen," I add.
"Animals have germs and anyway, there is no such thing as a truly domesticated pet. They are all wild beneath their exterior."
Rose laughs out loud at him.
We are back in our own house because, I suspect, despite his parent's house having many doors, he still worried Jakey Boy might break them all down in a desperate attempt to make off with our baby.
"It's not Australia and he isn't a dingo," just got me a glare in response.
Our yard is now fenced with self closing gates and suddenly my ex dog is the enemy.
"I can't wait for Kristie to be eighteen, by the way," Rose chuckles and I slap her. Really, we do not need Edward worrying about any future dramas. He has enough to cope with counting the amount of diapers his petal uses each day.
He is trying to be more relaxed, and he does achieve it at times, like when she is curled up on his chest, purring quietly as she sleeps. When she awakens from hunger, she merely wriggles around and sucks on her fist.
"God, I hope our two are this quiet. I guess it depends on how many Emmett genes they have inherited," Rose sighs.
Siobhan is doing well and soon Rose and Emmett will be flying back to stay there for the birth. Laurent has promised to call the very second she has her first contraction but I know Rose is hanging out here so much because she can't bear to wait that long. She plans on going tomorrow.
"It could happen so fast. Look how quickly she delivered last time, and we'd miss it. It's a once in a lifetime event and I am going to be there. Maybe at the wrong end of the delivery bed, but I'll be there," she swears.
"Is Emmett going too,or waiting here until you call for him?" I ask. It could be weeks yet and he does work for a living.
"Oh he will be coming with me tomorrow," she declares firmly. "I wish I could stay longer and play with this little angel but if we miss the birth, I'll never get over it. You do understand, right?"
"Of course I do. I know all about once in a lifetime events and how much more precious that makes them, because there will never be a do over to catch instead."
"I still think you are wrong, settling for one child because your husband is such a wuss," she retorts.
"You know Edward, and you saw him every day almost for the whole pregnancy. Can you honestly say you'd want to watch him go through that again? Watch him lose weight and rarely sleep and end up that stickfigure with the grey complexion and black bags big enough to pack all his designer outfits in, beneath his eyes?" I asked. I'd never seen Edward look anything but hot, so it had unnerved me, watching him change into a ghost of himself.
I'd thought I'd be the one doing all the changing.
"But it was so worth it to end up with that perfect child," she argued.
"Baby wants a feed," my husband declared, handing a freshly changed infant into my waiting arms.
"Goddam it, she doesn't even cry. How could you resist not having a dozen when they turn out this amazing?" Rose mumbled.
xxxx
EPOV
"Two boys? Identical? Wow, Emm, I can see we are all in for some future trouble. And they look just like you? Nothing like Rose?"
Bella is grinning madly as she overhears my conversation on the phone.I know she feels left out, with us being the only member of the family not back in Boston greeting our nephews into the world, but I don't like the idea of virtual newborns on planes. Some studies show an increase in SIDS for babies who have travelled by air, but that is mostly when international flights are involved. Even so, I have warned my brother to keep oxygen masks on his babies during the flight home.
I must have scared him because he tells me they are coming by road.
It will take a lot longer and be far more inconvenient but it's never too early to learn about sacrificing your preferences for your offsprings welfare.
He hasn't smoked since before the first IVF course, and rarely drinks. He even did a detox and spent a few weeks in a health spa to make sure his sperm would be healthy.
Jasper had never done either to excess so he'd given up both cold turkey pretty much as soon as he met Alice, but I expected that from him, whereas Emmett has always done whatever he liked, and never considered anyone else.
I guess we are the reformed Cullen brothers nowadays.
In danger of becoming as boring as our parents, whose lifestyle we had rebelled against.
Just when I found other worries to overtake my regrets about my careless treatment of women before Bella, I watched a tv show about how much information parents should impart to their teenage children.
Such as, admitting to drug and alcohol abuse as a way to back up that you know best, and have been there, done that, and experienced the fallout, as a way to discourage them following in your footsteps.
I was holding my sleeping daughter and cringed inwardly that she might ever know what sort of a man I had been.
Bella had laughed at me and given me that look she always does when I'm getting too far ahead of myself.
"Edward, you never behaved badly in Forks, so nobody here knows about your past, or much of mine either. As far as the residents here know, we each dated other people, and moved on and then met and fell madly in love. That's all anyone knows, so what bad things can they tell her anyway? I swear you will still be finding things to worry about ten years after you are dead."
Dead?
God, I had better not die before Kristie is an adult and no longer needs me.
My wife takes the baby from me and places her in the downstairs crib, switching on the baby monitor so we can see her on the bedroom tv screen.
"Come upstairs and forget all your troubles for one single hour," she purrs, pulling on my hand.
"Or even two."
xxxx
Two it is, and afterwards Bella sleeps soundly at my side. We both showered after the shenanigans but then we got dirty again and had to go back for another session of shower sex... one thing that hasn't changed is our desire for one another, regardless of broken nights.
Bella continues to amaze me constantly.
If I'd had a baby grow inside me and be delivered from my privates, I'm sure I'd be fretting that things down there had been damaged beyond repair, and would have been very reluctant to resume my sex life. But not my Bella.
She seemed to just assume nothing had changed and to me,things felt pretty much the same. She still clenched like a champion, and I had no complaints whatsoever. She had to exercise those inner muscles anyway, may as well do them with me inside her was her reasoning.
I married a very smart woman.
Many men would have given up on sex during a pregnancy and I could have been in their number had my wife refused to consider that as an option. Thinking about what damage keeping up an active sexlife could have done to her and the baby had worried me,briefly,but my father was on Bella's side and he'd assured me constantly that the best thing I could do was keep my wife happy. And Bella is only happy when she is kept satisfied.
The six weeks abstinence after delivery had been a form of Hell on Earth for her , and she'd resorted to watching tear jerking chick flicks and crying over the ill fated couples on screen, but then, when they did get their happy ever afters and sealed it with a nice, romantic session of love making, she'd turned the movie off.
Her envy of others who could make love had been rather apparent,and I knew exactly to the night when we would resume, because she bugged my father almost weekly to examine her to see if she'd healed faster than most.
"Resuming before six weeks can be very dangerous," Dad had warned her,and I'd been the strong one, because there's no way I could ever do anything that might harm Bella. She'd tried exposing herself in little black lacy garments, and telling me other cultures probably did not wait a whole six weeks, so I'd informed her that some waited an entire year before a husband considered his wife 'clean' again,and she'd paled and backed off.
I have no idea if what I'd said was true, but it put things into perspective for her, and she'd waited much more patiently after that.
She imagined she was the only one missing sex, but I was just as desperate to be with her again and to reconfirm that connection between us. I'm not saying it had weakened at all, but still , being inside Bella was the very best place on Earth to be and I'd almost cried when we reclaimed one another. For the first time I'd had to admit she may be right.
We may not be able to go through all the hoopla pregnancy and birth and six weeks of abstinence involved.
Kristie was beyond perfect and the most wonderful baby imaginable; next time we may not have been so lucky.
xxxx
I swear we heard the screaming before their car even came into sight.
Emmett jumped out and I thumped his back and assured him he was indeed a real man, getting two healthy sons from a single sperm. We ignored all the other sperm that had failed in their job and just celebrated the incredibly hardy victor.
"Sounds like they have good lungs," I laughed. It sounded so LOUD, after weeks living with a baby who barely whimpered.
" I'm so glad their house is over the far side of your parents house," Bella said, not even lowering her voice. It didn't matter, all anyone could hear was synchronised wailing.
Rose kissed cheeks and then returned and lifted twin Number One from his seat, and handed him to Esme.
Mom had admitted to missing both babies since she and Dad returned a few days after their delivery, by air, with Jasper and Alice and their kids three weeks ago.
Rose and Emmett had made a road trip to remember with their journey home.
Emmett patted the front of his new Jeep and started giving Dad a blow by blow description of petrol consumption and miles per gallon and whatever, so Dad opened the back passenger door himself and got out the second twin.
Bella walked over and took the infant from him, and went inside. She had settled Kristie in one of the three cribs Mom had added upstairs, so her arms were free to hold these babies that she had only seen via the computer screen and I watched as the womenfolk gushed over the babies.
Rose looked amazingly calm for someone of her fiery temperament who'd been trapped inside a vehicle for days with this human stereo sound system.
I caught her as she returned from a hasty trip to the bathroom.
"Wow, you have changed. If anyone had told me you'd step from that car anything but frazzled, I'd have never believed it," I exclaimed. "I half expected Emmett to arrive alone and tell us you had decided to hitch-hike home."
"What?" she asked, pulling two ipod buds concealed by her long blonde hair, from her ears.
"Rose," I laughed, shaking my head.
"Essential child rearing aids when you are blessed with Emmett Cullen's offspring," she declared, heading to the kitchen, and the gaggle of women surrounding her babies.