When He Returns CONTINUATION Chapter 29: Never Say Never, a vampire academy fanfic

Chapter 29: Never Say Never

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

RPOV

"Well Rose, I have your test results back and everything looks just fine. I'm a little puzzled as to why you've been having those symptoms though. Have you by any chance visited any of our restaurants here in the royal court in the past few days?"

"Uh yea Lissa and I went to Verona for lunch the other day why?"

"That explains it. My colleague Dr. Ashland has seen at least a dozen patients, moroi and dhampir in the past two days that have come in with similar symptoms. They all had one thing in common. They'd all eaten seafood from restaurants here at court."

"Ugh, don't even say seafood," I groaned. "I ordered shrimp pasta and I've been seeing it for days." I covered my mouth with my hand as I gagged at the thought.

"Well I think we found the source of your illness. I'm going to give you some ginger pills to prevent the nausea. You should drink plenty of fluids, get some rest and tell your boyfriend he can relax. You'll be as good as new as soon as the toxins are out of your system."

"Thanks," I said grabbing the pills and exiting the room. I didn't want to say I told you so, but being as I was right I would probably say it anyways. I felt bad about being so annoyed with him, but he seriously needed to take a chill pill. I was fine, but if it took hearing it from a doctor for him to be at ease then I was glad to do it.

I found him pacing in the waiting area. He was so cute when he was worried.

"You know you're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep doing that," I chastised him. He immediately stopped and turned to look at me.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked eagerly coming closer to me.

"You can relax. Everything is just fine. I'm going to live to see another day. She gave me some ginger for the nausea and told me to push fluids. No reason to worry," I told him taking his hand in mine. I couldn't quite read the look on his face. It was almost as if he were hoping that I'd tell him that I was ill and I couldn't go.

"What? Aren't you happy that I'm not sick?" I asked. We were alone in the room as it was nearly time for dinner. Sparky was on Lexie patrol for now so I didn't have to worry about her. I was more concerned with what was going on with Dimitri right now.

"I didn't want you to be sick Roza," he said. "Are you sure there isn't anything you want to tell me?" he asked again with that hopeful look in his eyes.

"Uh don't eat seafood if you go to Verona," I said wondering what the hell he wanted me to say.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"Yea, I had food poisoning along with about a dozen other people who ate there this week," I told him.

"No big deal, I'm definitely going to be avoiding that place at all costs now." I shuddered at the thought of eating there again.

"You had food poisoning?" he repeated slowly as if it were hard to believe.

"Yes, they must have gotten a bad batch of shrimp." His face fell.

"Dimitri what did you think was wrong with me?" I asked.

He shook his head sitting down on one of the chairs.

"Nothing it was stupid," he responded his shoulders slumped.

"No, come on I want to know. You've been acting really strange like I was dying or something. Tell me," I repeated.

When he looked up at me I could see his eyes were a little teary.

"I just well I thought that maybe, you know since we've been together a while now and you were having the same symptoms and all that maybe…" his voice trailed off and he took a deep breath.

"I thought maybe you were, well that we were.." Suddenly it dawned on me. He thought I was pregnant. Oh how stupid I was not to have seen the signs. They way he was so protective checking the bath water and not wanting me to climb up high, bringing me milk and forbidding me to go with Lissa.

"You thought I was going to have a baby," I finished for him. He nodded. I'd never seen him look so devastated. I could have kicked myself. Did he want to have another baby right now? I mean we never even talked about it. I just assumed that we would eventually get to that subject, but we'd only been back together a few months.

"Oh Comrade," I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry. I never even thought that you would think that," I told him.

"Is that what you want? Do you want to have another baby right now?" I asked.

"Of course I want to have another baby with you Roza. I wasn't there the first time. I missed everything. I want so much to be there this time." His voice was thick with emotion. My heart broke for him at his admission. I was about to bust his happy bubble.

"You know I'm not pregnant right?" I told him softly. I needed him to know that even if that's what he wanted that it wasn't happening right now. I didn't want him getting his hopes up.

He nodded. "I just thought since we weren't using anything and it happened so easily the last time that it would this time as well," he said. Wow so he was actually trying to get me pregnant. Damn we really should have talked about this.

"Dimitri, the reason that it isn't happening is that we are using something." He looked at me questioningly.

"I knew I wasn't going to last much longer after that night in your apartment so Lissa suggested I start taking the pill, just in case."

"You're on the pill?" he asked.

I nodded. A look of betrayal passed across his face causing me to flinch.

"You don't want another child with me," he stated rather than questioned. The look of pain in his eyes made my heart stop. I didn't know what to say. On one hand I knew it was selfish of me, but I wasn't really sold on the idea of having another child. It had been tough the first time and even with him around this time it was a lot to handle while being a full time guardian. On the other hand I didn't know if it was my place to deny him something he seemed to want so badly. I felt the guilt of keeping him away the first time seeping in.

I cupped his face in my hands.

"It's okay Roza. I should have told you how I felt. I should never have assumed that we were not using anything," I could tell he wasn't okay, but he was trying to hold it together for me.

"Hey, I should have told you. I'm sorry." He nodded.

"So are you saying never or just not right now?" he asked. I had no idea of how to respond to that either. He looked so hopeful right now and I didn't want to crush his dreams.

"Never say never," I told him with a smile hoping that would be enough for now. He embraced me tightly kissing my hair and my neck softly as he murmured in Russian. What did I just agree to? I wondered.

DPOV

The doctor had asked me to leave the room because I was making Rose agitated. The last thing I wanted to do was put her under more stress, but the waiting out here was killing me. How long did a damn pregnancy test take?

I glanced at my watch. Nearly thirty minutes had passed since I'd left the room. If she didn't come out in the next five minutes I was going to go in there.

Her voice startled me as I paced.

"You know you're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep doing that."

"What did the doctor say?" I asked eager for her to tell me the good news. She wasn't smiling though. That wasn't a good sign. She looked too calm as well.

"You can relax. Everything is just fine. I'm going to live to see another day. She gave me some ginger for the nausea and told me to push fluids. No reason to worry," she said reaching for my hands. Maybe she didn't want to tell me here. Maybe she was going to make it special. Even so I was slightly disappointed that she wasn't going to tell me now. I really wanted to celebrate.

"What? Aren't you happy that I'm not sick?" she asked. She must have misread the look on my face. Of course I was happy she wasn't sick, but then again I never thought she was.

"I didn't want you to be sick Roza. Are you sure there isn't anything you want to tell me?" I asked giving her a smile hoping it would entice her to tell me now. I couldn't wait. She looked puzzled.

"Uh don't eat seafood if you go to Verona."

"What?" Why was she talking about some restaurant at court?

"Yea, I had food poisoning along with about a dozen other people who ate there this week," she explained.

"No big deal, I'm definitely going to be avoiding that place at all costs now." Food poisoning? My heart sank. She had food poisoning?

"You had food poisoning?" I repeated dumbly hoping she was just pulling my leg.

"Yes, they must have gotten a bad batch of shrimp." I could feel my entire body sag at her words.

"Dimitri what did you think was wrong with me?" She asked curiously.

I sat down on one of the chairs shaking my head. I couldn't believe this. We'd been making love without protection for months. What if it didn't happen again and the last time was a fluke?

"Nothing it was stupid." I couldn't help the disappointment that pulsed through me. I hadn't realized how much I truly wanted this until just now.

"No, come on I want to know. You've been acting really strange like I was dying or something. Tell me," she asked again.

"I just well I thought that maybe, you know since we've been together a while now and you were having the same symptoms and all that maybe…" I couldn't continue. This was awkward for me to say.

"I thought maybe you were, well that we were.." I tried to spit it out, but my mouth was not cooperating. A strange look passed across her face and I knew she realized what I was getting at.

"You thought I was going to have a baby," she whispered. I nodded.

"Oh Comrade," she said coming closer to me wrapping her arms around my neck. I could hear the sympathy in her voice. "I'm so sorry. I never even thought that you would think that."

"Is that what you want? Do you want to have another baby right now?" she asked. I didn't know what I should say, but I wanted to be honest.

"Of course I want to have another baby with you Roza. I wasn't there the first time. I missed everything. I want so much to be there this time." I knew I was tearing up a little, but I really wanted this.

"You know I'm not pregnant right?"she asked softly looking me in the eye.

I nodded. I had figured as much when she'd told me about the food poisoning.

"I just thought since we weren't using anything and it happened so easily the last time that it would this time as well." I meant it. We made love nearly every night. It was strange that I hadn't been able to make her pregnant yet. She looked frightened at my words. That was definitely not something I'd expected. Wishful thinking was that she wanted this as much as I did. I realized now that that wasn't the case.

"Dimitri, the reason that it isn't happening is that we are using something." I gave her a questioning look. How were we using something and I didn't know about it?

"I knew I wasn't going to last much longer after that night in your apartment so Lissa suggested I start taking the pill, just in case."

"You're on the pill?" I asked my heart sinking a little bit further. Here I was trying my hardest to make a baby with her and the whole time she'd been preventing it. Part of me felt betrayed by her actions.

"You don't want another child with me," I stated. I hadn't meant to sound harsh, but I was taken by complete surprise. It never occurred to me that she might not want another child with me. She was lost in thought for a minute before answering. That could not have been good.

"I love you and I love our daughter. We've only been back together for a few months. I understand your feelings about wanting to be there for the next one, but right now I am not ready for that physically or emotionally. I'm sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear." And there it was the knife in my chest. That was her way of telling me she didn't want to have another baby with me. She was just too nice to say those exact words. She was breaking my heart into pieces right now, but I didn't want her to know that so I tried my hardest to act normal.

"It's okay Roza. I should have told you how I felt. I should never have assumed that we were not using anything." If I could have one wish right now it would be to know what was going on in her mind.

"Hey, I should have told you. I'm sorry." Her apology meant little to me now. As with everything else I had once again screwed up. I had hurt her so much the last time that she didn't want to trust me again. I thought in time her fear would fade. I guess I was wrong. I just wondered if there was a chance she'd ever change her mind. I wanted so much to prove to her that I could take care of them and that I could be a good husband and father.

"So are you saying never or just not right now?" I knew it was bold to ask her that, but I really wanted to know if I stood a chance.

"Never say never," she said giving me the smile that always took my breath away. I took that response as a hopeful maybe embracing her tightly. I only hoped that someday soon she'd change her mind.

So was that what you were expecting or not? Do you think Rose will change her mind? What do you think her real reason for not wanting another baby is? Do you think their relationship will suffer? Should Dimitri have felt betrayed by her actions? Please please don't nail me to the cross yet! You know if she'd been pregnant that would have been too easy right? Leave me some love or some hate=)