Chapter 25 Too Much To Say

Bella's POV

"I want to make you dinner tomorrow night, what time will you be home?" Edward told me casually as we headed home the following evening after having dinner with Edward's family- Rosalie had gathered us all together so that she and Emmett could announce their engagement. I had laughed because the announcement hadn't come out as elegant as Rosalie had probably wanted it to thanks to Emmett:

"Guys we have an announcement to make…" Rosalie had said calmly, she'd been practically glowing with excitement and I was truly happy for my cousin.

"…Rosie and I are getting hitched!" Emmett finished before she could in a way only he would be able to get away with- even Rose's glaring at him hadn't lasted long.

Everyone had laughed and when the news sunk in, there was a lot of screaming and congratulating them.

"Shouldn't be too late." I answered Edward's earlier question, "I've got to go to work and then Rose and I have a dance class. Do I need to alert the fire department that you're cooking?" I teased him with a cheeky smile.

"Ha-ha." Edward said sarcastically, patting his palm once chastisingly against my upper leg where his hand had previously been resting.

I chuckled; Edward had only ever been able to cook basic meals so I couldn't resist teasing him.

"What's the occasion?" I asked curiously.

"Do I need a reason to spoil my beautiful wife with a nice home cooked meal?"

"Suck up." I teased and Edward chuckled.

"Maybe so, but I'm keen for a night in. With you."

"Expecting something other than dinner to happen tomorrow night, Mr Cullen?" I teased.

"What? No." he looked at me in alarm and relaxed when he realised I was teasing, but then he grimaced. He took my hand and gently placed a kiss on the back of it, "That came out wrong." He said, "What I meant is that there's no pressure, I want to make love to you but that's not why I'm doing this, I really do just want a nice quiet dinner."

I sighed happily and rested my head back against the seat's head rest. I didn't deserve him sometimes, he was so wonderful to me. I wouldn't tell him now that I was ready to take that final step with him, maybe tomorrow night would be the night because the sexual tension between us since Edward's birthday had definitely kicked up a notch. I didn't know why I'd hesitated the other night.

"What was that?" Edward asked.

I turned to look at him, "What?"

"That sigh?"

I grinned, "I'm happy, so incredibly so. I love you Edward." I leaned across to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm happy you're happy. I love you too, love. Do you feel like some ice cream?" he asked motioning quickly to a small ice cream store we were about to pass.

I nodded and grinned, "My perfect man."

*****

"Break everybody. Twenty minutes and no longer!"

I sighed in relief; grateful she'd given us a longer break than usual- today's class had been brutal so far.

"I'll be right back," I said to Rosalie as we stood digging through our sports bags for our water bottles, "I'm just heading to the bathroom."

"Okay."

I headed to the bathroom and after doing what I had to; I came out of the stall, inwardly groaning when I saw who was standing in front of the mirror applying eyeliner. I didn't know why she did it, we hadn't finished class yet.

"Hey Bella." Lauren said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Hi." I mumbled, not having it in me to be unfriendly, even to her.

"I still see Jake every now and then." She smirked, "We have a good time together." She purred suggestively.

I shrugged uncaringly, "I'm so happy for you." I said flatly. She was welcome to him.

My disinterested tone obviously didn't discourage her from talking, "You know, I have a theory…" she mused.

I ignored her.

"It's about why Edward's still with you."

I sniggered- she had a serious case of sour grapes.

"He feels sorry that you had a miscarriage, that's the only reason he's staying with you." Lauren said smugly, "Although I don't know why, if I was him, I wouldn't stay with a genetic dead end."

I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. She'd hit a sore spot.

Had Edward only told me he loved me because he was still worried about me? Or as Lauren said- and I cringed at the though- felt sorry for me?

I could feel my heart breaking but I refused to let her see a reaction out of me, "So what." I barely managed to retort, "He's still with me and I know he'd never want you." This much was true, I knew that. I walked briskly out the bathroom and back out to where Rosalie was, grabbing my bag.

"I've got to go, Rose, please tell them I'm not feeling well." I managed to get out.

Rosalie wasn't having that, she gripped my wrist tightly before I could walk away, "What happened?"

I shook my head, "Please Rose? Not now."

She nodded and reluctantly let go of me- I knew she'd want to know what had happened.

As I dove home, faster than I normally did, my mind continued to wonder in its dejected state. Edward had seen how devastated I'd been over the miscarriage, maybe he didn't want to upset me by telling me he wanted to move on. I knew for sure if he ever left me, the pain would be ten times worse than my miscarriage.

The house was empty when I returned and I was grateful as I ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Upset and angry with the world and myself, I practically tore off my clothes and climbed into the shower. The water was scalding hot but I didn't care as I sank to the tiled floor, tears streaming down my face as I finally let lose the sobs I'd been holding in since the dance studio.

*****

I don't know how long I sat there at the bottom of the shower but when I came back to my senses, the water was cold and my logic had returned. Edward wasn't just biding his time until it was safe to get rid of me. He couldn't be. Not after his birthday. Edward loved me, he'd never lied to me yet in all the years we'd been friends, why would he start now? I took in a deep shuddering breath, Lauren had hit a sore spot with saying that I might not be able to have children and of course that had sent my mind reeling to the other insults she'd thrown at me. I gave myself a quick wash before the water turned too icy and when I got out, I become aware of sounds from the bedroom. Edward must be home.

I froze. I wasn't ready to face him just yet, he'd know something was wrong and it wasn't anymore so he didn't need to know.

"Bella?" there was a knock at the door and I groaned softly, "I didn't realise you'd be home so early, love?"

"Yeah, dance class was cut short." I called back weakly, hoping me didn't catch the hoarseness in my voice.

Suddenly I heard his phone ring and I was relieved when he walked away from the bathroom. I sighed with relief, taking the time to grab my bearings before I faced him. I unlocked the door but didn't open yet- I never locked it around him so it might be a bit suspicious. I sank down onto the bath matt by the sink and buried my head in my hands. I couldn't let Lauren bug me, I just couldn't- Edward loved me even if it turned out I couldn't have kids, he'd told me this already.

"Bella?" I didn't realise he'd come in until I felt him sit next to me, "Rosalie phoned."

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