Chapter 24

They drove through what felt like hours, tailing the black car with the white cross. Not close enough that the driver might notice them, but just enough to make sure he never lost sign of those taillights again. Daryl couldn't deny the feeling of near exhilaration inside of him, only tempered by the pang of guilt that Michelle wasn't with them. He knew that going to the church would have taken too long and how unlikely it would have been to find that car again, but he could help thinking about her. After all, she'd been the one keeping hope alive that they'd find Beth and if they did tonight, he'd forever feel like he'd robbed her of that. Hopefully, she wouldn't be too upset with him after all this, because the last thing he wanted was to cause unnecessary her pain...

He shook his head, running a hand over his face as if he was trying to keep from falling asleep, when he was really just trying to get those thoughts out of his head. He couldn't keep thinking about these things if they were going to take on the people who had Beth, he'd need to be sharp and picturing the hurt on Michelle's face as she realized he'd left to save their lost companion without her simply wouldn't do.

Carol began asking questions about what had happened after prison, with him and Beth, wrongly assuming that he'd saved her, which he corrected just like Michelle had corrected Maggie over the same thing. He told her about how they'd lost her in the first place, how they'd gotten cornered inside the funeral home and how Beth had insisted Michelle went back for him.

"We came out of the woods and a car's pulling out with a white cross on the window."

"Just like that one."

"Yep."

They talked about the options, what to do and how to get the information they needed. Carol was ready to run the other car of the run and beat the information about Beth out of the driver, but as he pointed out, if the driver didn't talk, they'd be back to square one. Tailing was the best option. He couldn't imagine returning to the church, after having probably worried some of their friends with nothing to show for it. He couldn't go back there and tell them how he'd had a shot at finding Beth and he'd screwed it up due to his impatience. That simply wouldn't do.

They'd see who they were and if it was a group, what they could do and they'd do what they had to get Beth back from them. That was the plan. It wasn't much of one, but it was the best one he had. Carol gave him a side way glance and there was something strange in her eyes, as if she wasn't sure about all this, if it was worth it or if he was being smart about the situation. In that moment, he wished Michelle had been there, she would have found the words to explain why this was so important while he could only stay silent, unable to really phrase his reasoning.

They were heading into Atlanta, and neither of them ever expected to go back to that place again. Not after the CDC. So much had changed between then and now, but the city still felt the same as it had on the day Dr. Jenner nearly took them all out along him. He'd never been a fan of the city, even before everything happened, but now he wished he was anywhere but there. The car in front of them stopped at an intersection for no reason and, of course, they did the same, trying to understand what the driver was doing. Had he finally spotted them?

A man came out of the passenger's side, squinting a little more he could make out the details of a police uniform, complete with Kevlar vest. He looked right at them, but then walked off in a different direction. Still, it wasn't enough to calm either of their nerves. For all they knew, he could be coming back at them from the side after going around one of the building, luring them into a false sense of security.

A walker banged against the passenger side window, making them both jump, it must have smelled them and was trying to get to them. The cop ahead, as turned out, was just moving crap littering in the middle of the road, but he looked their way again, lingering longer this time as he watched the walker attacking what, in his mind, should have been an empty car. His fingers flexed around the wheel as they watched if he'd come closer, only relaxing when the car with the white cross finally left. He turned the key in the ignition again, but this time, there was nothing to be done. The tank was dry.

The noise from the walker banging against the window was starting to attract some of its pals, as he considered where the men in the car could have their base of operation, where Beth might be. They had to get out of there and find a safe place to hide until morning before they got swarmed. If they didn't hurry, they'd soon find themselves over taken by the dead, but luckily, it seemed Carol knew a spot.

When she said she knew a spot, he didn't expect it to be a shelter for abused women and children. Abuse; that something they'd always had in common Carol and him. Something they'd seen in the other as soon as they really started looking, it was probably why they'd gravitated toward each other in the first place after Merle disappeared from the roof and she lost Sophia. They had both needed someone who'd understand the scars without having to talk about them. Although, at times, it seemed like she'd made leaps and bounds toward coming to term with what had happened to her, while he stood still, continuing to carry around the baggage he always felt to ashamed to share with anyone... even with his own brother.

He listened as she talked about how she had come here with Sophia, and even if she didn't say it, he knew she hadn't stayed since she'd been with that asshole husband of hers when they'd meet. His eyes lingered on the book sitting on the desk and, if he'd been alone, he might have even picked it up. But even in front of Carol, he still had too much pride. She claimed the top bunk and the first watch despite before almost ordering him to sleep. Even though he mentioned how safe the place seemed to be, she still went and settled herself by the window. He could tell something was gnawing at her, and he could have asked, of course, but if she didn't want to talk, she wouldn't have anyway. Feeling like he'd gotten so used to having something pressed against his back at night, that he didn't know how he'd sleep with it, he threw his balled-up vest on the bed right up against the wall.

"You said we get to start over."

"Yeah."

It was true, he'd said that, just earlier that day as they'd gone to fetch the water. She hadn't seemed to believe him then, nor did she seem to believe him now, but he did. He wasn't sure why but something made him believe it was true, that even in this living hell of theirs, there was still a chance to find something good. They got proof of it everyday; like finding the Hershel's farm when they'd needed it the most, or Judith being born against all odds, or even just the fact they'd all found each other again after the prison fell. Even just a few hours ago, sitting on a church floor with their whole group, just happy to have food and shelter for the night and to listen to the same story three times, with the same punchline and all of them laughing like it was the first time. He hadn't always seen it that way, but they weren't dead yet and as long as that was true, there was still life worth living.

"Did you?"

"I'm tryin'," he admitted genuinely. Their eyes met for a moment, and he wasn't sure what she could read in him, but it always seemed like he was some sort of open book to her. Normally, it didn't bother him, but tonight, he looked away, down at his hands. As if she might see something inside of him, he wasn't ready - or willing - to share.

As he usually did in situations like this, he deflected the conversation, asking her what was really on her mind and not expecting at all the answer she gave him, that she didn't believe they got to save people anymore. He blinked at her, unsure if he'd heard right. She'd saved all of them from Terminus and she was here with him, to save Beth.

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm tryin'," she responded, just like he had. They were a mess, both of them. Both trying to make it in this crazy world and unsure that they were succeeding. She came and laid down on her back next to him, and he couldn't help but think back on the night before, when that other friend of his was also having troubling coping with all of this. With a sigh, he asked her what would have happened if he hadn't caught up with her tonight by the car, and as he laid down as well, she told him how she didn't know what would happened.

A rare awkward silence enveloped them and he was glad for a distraction as they could hear something coming from down the hall. It was only when they reached the end of the corridor that he regretted any positive feeling about what they were now seeing; the shadows of walkers stuck being the glass. If it had been only the woman, they would have most likely been alright but the two little ones got to both them, especially Carol. He stopped her from going in there and doing what had to be done - he would it himself later while she slept - and simply guided her back to the other room.

They left shelter early the next morning, and he was exhausted. He hadn't been able to get more than a few minutes of sleep at a time, unable to find a position that felt right which was strange since he was never fussy about that sort of thing. Hell, he'd slept in a casket without any trouble even though just the thought of it had bothered both Beth and Michelle.

They made it a few blocks without any real trouble, and onto a skybridge where some people had chosen as a place to hide before they'd all turned. Taking them out was quick and easy as they struggled to find a way out of their sleeping bags, not even bothering with those in the tents, they'd slipped between the bolted doors and inside some fancy office which had a great view of downtown. The whole stupid place was absolutely ridiculous to him, just some rich jerk showing off. Carol went straight to the windows, wondering out loud how the whole world could have come to this; bombed out buildings, the dead roaming the streets and those left scrambling to survive somehow. That was a question he need he wasn't equipped to answer, and truly, he never liked lingering on it for too long. Somehow, it had happened and now, they had to make do, as simple as that.

Finally, she let go of some of what was tormenting her. Even if she didn't tell him exactly what happened to Mika and Lizzie, she said enough for him to understand they hadn't just died, something worst had happened and after Sophia, he could only imagine how horrible this must have been for her.

"The reason I said we get to start over," he told her, hoping to console, or at least, help her in whatever way he could. "It's because we gotta. The way it was..." He didn't finish the sentence, he didn't need to, just looking outside that window, it was clear that even if, somehow, the dead went back to being dead tomorrow, the world would never be as it was before this. They would never be as they were before this.

He was going to add something more, something about how the two of them at least, despite all the losses had grown into closer to the people they were probably meant to be but would never had become without all this, but his eyes were caught by something on one of the overpasses. As soon as Carol handed her riffle over, he got confirmation he wasn't dreaming. A white van with a white cross painted in each back windows. A new lead. They were getting closer!