"Dear Comrade, it's May 27, 2017. I was cleaning out my apartment when I found this peculiar box of recordings and letters- all to you. And since it's been four years since I've last did one, well, why not?
"I'm not quite sure how to do this, so bear with me.
"Okay, so I'm teaching European History at Harvard University. I'm known as 'The Thorn' or 'Prickles' by my students. They like me, so far. I'm very harsh when it comes to grading- I've seen more than a few students cry because their paper- which most teachers would grade as a B- got a C-, but hey, that's how I roll. However, my class is very relaxed in general, and they enjoy all of the weird stuff I get to show them. It doesn't hurt that I'm only a few years older than most of these kids either.
"I remember me saying something in one of my previous recordings about me possibly becoming lesbian to deal with your rejection. Well, that hasn't happened yet. I'm still perfectly heterosexual. Well actually, I'm more of a dimitribelikovsexual, but whatever.
"I still love you. A lot. I still sleep with a picture of you under my pillow. Yes, I'm just that sad. I can't forget you. It's been eight years, yet…
"Well, I'm not quite sure how to end this. I love you."