Hello... I am back... Sorry that I died. I was just resurrected a few days ago, so I'm pretty sore. By the way, my left arm is backwards, so if I mess up my hurrizbls graymaur, then blame it on my backwards arm. So... where the bloody flip did I leave off again... *AHEM* Let me check. Okay, okay. So, basically, Kuro and Tana are now heading out to see the world, well, Tana is... Kuro is just along for the ride. Uh, Kuro apparently doesn't like Tana that much, with Tana *Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge* felling the same way. Hm. As for what the characters look like... I have them... though, for the other two, Chiko and Yanagi, I think they were, I had to make something new for them to wear, since you know... computer broke, so long ago... so I lost everything! That is why I stopped writing chapters! :D Oh, btw... Do you remember POWDER? Well... Great news! I still haven't beaten it. :( As for FE Awakening? I beat it! :D. Anything else? Oh yeah... do I do reactions to reviews? I think I do, but since it's been a long time, I'll just... ignore them... Yeah. Let's do that. So, now... let's stop stalling you beautiful bastards and start this bloody chapter already!
"Geez, Tana. Would it kill you to stop trying to punch me in the guts every five minutes?"
"Hm... Nope!" She said, and punched me, once again, in the stomach. I haven't even done anything to her, and yet she's attacking me! Does this mean I can defend myself and beat her near death or to death? You know... self defense? A punch to my stomach broke me out of my thoughts.
"What would it take for you to stop trying to give my stomach cancer?" I asked her, turning towards her and facing her seriously. My sudden seriousness surprised her, as well as the fact that I blocked the next punch to my stomach.
"... I want candy." She said with a smile and hands outstretched.
"Tana. We've been over this. You ate all of it already!" First thirty minutes of the trip, actually. Though there should've been enough to last her an entire month... A black hole of my money, is what she is.
"And I said already... I. Want. Candy!" She said, stressing out each word with a shake of her finger.
"Dammit Tana! I can't make candy out of... thin... air..." I put my hand on my chin and started to think. I may be new to this whole, ninja and Chakra thing, but If I was a betting man, which I'm not, then that means...
"W-what?" Tana said, watching me think so hard that steam started to come out of her ears, her face red. "Why are you staring at me so hard?" She finally said.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."
"You-!" I held up a hand.
Making a few hand seals, slowly, I muttered out my new jutsu. "Candy Creation Jutsu!" A pouf of smoke later and a small candy appeared in my out stretched out. Guys, I think I just started a new business. Don't know where this candy came from and I don't care. I just made a fortune! I knew knowing out to switch myself with a log, or to create a log to switch myself with, would come in handy! Frankly, Chakra is still very weird, but one of these days I'll master the ability to create whatever I want! Whahahaha!
Tana, however, remained oblivious to my inner madness. Drool appeared on her lower lips and her eyes started to sparkle. "Ca-candy... Can I have it?" She pleaded, giving me the look. Unfortunately, I'm an uncaring bastard, and the look has no affect on me. However, I still tossed her to single piece of candy. She jumped and grabbed the candy and began to eat it, without peeling off the plastic. However, when she was done, she spat out the plastic wrapper. "More!" She demanded.
"Tana. With great power comes great responsibility. If I continue to create candy for you, or stealing them from an unsuspecting person, shop, or baby, then the world will eventually run out of candy. Either that, or you'll blow up due to the strain of ingesting so many pieces of sugary goodness."
"I don't care. I want more!"
"Fine, fine." I made a few more hand seals and created twenty pieces of candy and then dropped them in a small brown bag I carried. Don't ask me why I carry it, or why it is Tana-head sized.
"Yay!" She said and snatched the bag out of my hands and began to devour it. If the world tasted like a huge piece of candy... Then life would be no more. Maybe now I can have a second of- "More!"
"God dammit Tama!" I still made more.
"Tana... After the fiftieth time, I was annoyed. At the hundredth time, I was starting to go insane, not that I already am."
"But you aren't insane." Tana said, after she finished a little inspection of my cranium.
"Good observations. Maybe looking in my head next time will help."
"Then I'll just take a look..." She said, and reached for her rapier, Thunder Biter.
"Oi. I'm not ready to die."
"Oh... Then, let me know when you're ready, and I'll be able to check and see if you really are insane."
"...As I was saying... after the two hundredth time, my Chakra was getting close to half way gone, so I asked for you to stop. After the four hundredth time, I literally jumped into a ravine so that I didn't have to hear you ask me for candy. I nearly broke my arm, but I got away without any injuries. Then, when you found me, fifty miles away from the ravine, you know what you did to piss me off?"
"...I don't know." She answered honestly.
"You asked for more candy!"
"And you gave me a giant piece of candy! Bigger than any boulder!"
"And I tried to kill you with it! But you just ate it with that black hole you call a stomach!"
"Hahaha!" She chuckled, scratching the back of her head, with a smile on her face.
"That wasn't a compliment!" I said, but it fell on deaf ears.
"Hey, Kuro." She said and pointed to the village. "I heard some shouting. They sounded angry."
"Awesome. Want to check it out?"
"Sure, but I still want more candy!"
"GOD DAMN IT TANA!" I yelled and ran towards where she said the shouting was, Tana laughing all the way.
What awaited us, was a lone guy kicking around the villagers. I wouldn't exactly call him a bandit, he was... well, strong. Or, was stronger than any bandit out there.
He had dirty blonde hair, and dull green eyes. He wore light clothing, a green shirt and long blue baggy pants, and blue sandals.
"Oi, hurry up and bring me all that money." He demanded.
"B-but..."
"Don't care! Face me fire!" He did a few hand seals and spat out some flames at the villager, and almost roasted him to medium rare, if he didn't purposely missed and blew up the building behind said villager. Actually, now that I think about it, I think he just had some really bad aim.
"Hey, bad guy!" I yelled, walking slowly towards him. Tana walked by my side, with her arms behind her head, probably thinking about candy.
"What you want, and who you calling bad guy, idiot guy?"
"..."
"Oh, sick burn!" Tana burst out laughing.
"Tana, I swear, one day I'll disown you."
"From what? I'm not your daughter."
"From life."
"How funny." She said, a smile on her face. "I think I'll just do the same to you." I rolled my eyes.
"Hey, stop ignoring me! Fire style: Fire ball Jutsu!" He breathed out some flames, but like my earlier hypothesis, he missed horribly. How horribly? The fire ball he spat out at us, basically went straight above him, though he faced us when he used the attack, it was a wonder how it ended up going above him.
"Great aim there, buddy." I said.
"Thanks!" He said back. One of the villagers came running up to my side and started whispering some stuff into my ear.
"Thanks for helping, but as you can see, he is pretty stupid and a horrible aim, so we were already digging a pit to trap him in, but since you're here, could you take care of him?"
"A pit? Seriously? No, no wait... If it is him... then yeah, that pit will work." I nodded several times. Tana copied me and nodded too, though she didn't know why. "Listen, strong... guy." I said, facing the idiot.
"Hm? Me listening." He said, facing me.
"I request a duel; a fight to say. If I win, you leave here forever... or something. If you win... you can have Tana."
"Hey!"
"Deal! Though I'd rather not have the small ugly girl, but okay!"
"...Did he just call me..."
"Small, ugly, retarded, stupid, boring, fool, ugly, ugly, stupid, ugly? Yes, yes he did." I said, adding gas to the already lit fire.
"Kuro. I'll get you later... but can I murder him?"
"Try not to kick him where he hurts and you can have this fight." I said and walked back a few steps.
"Thank you." When Tana says thank you, it always send shivers down my spine.
She then walked towards the guy with a grin on her face.
"Me name is Alexander. What is yours, ugly little girl?"
"...Tana, the name of your killer. That douche bag over there is Kuro."
"Hm. Kuro sounds like a swell guy. However, you? Oh, you." He said and shook his head. This just pissed Tana off even more.
"Tana!" I called out to her.
"What." She said, without turning around.
"If you can't beat him with only your fists, then I'll never get you candy! Ever!" Tana froze for a few seconds and then started to walk forward. I could just barely hear her muttering something akin to the sound of Death coming for you.
"...I'll kill him with my bare fists. ...I'll kill him with my bare fists. ...I'll kill him with my bare fists. ...I'll kill him with my bare fists. For the candy... Candy... Candy... CANDY!" She yelled out suddenly and leaped towards Alexander and punched him hard In the jaw. He could barely react in time as his pummeling commenced.
Tana never punched him below the belt, which every male was thankful for. However, with every punch or kick she gave him, we all heard a crack. A crack from his bones. When she was done massacring him, even her fists were bleeding. Or was that just his blood? Either way, there was blood on them. As well as on most of her body, minus her back.
Tana slowly made her way back to me, exhausted from the fight, uh, massacre. "Candy?" She asked me, fists clenched, a crazy look on her face. Okay. I think she's more crazy than me.
"Uh, here." I said, handing her a piece of candy. She devoured it faster than the speed of light.
"Candy."
"Oh. Shit. EVERYBODY! BRING ALL OF YOUY CANDY HERE BEFORE SHE GOES ON A RAMPAGE!" I screamed and summoned her another piece of candy. The townsfolk took my warning seriously and brought all of the candy that they had and gave it to her.
Long story short, she devoured everything candy related in that village and every village within 20 kilometers from there.
Eyes wide, I slowly made my way down a mountain. Tana walked behind me, humming a cheerful tune. I, however, was still traumatized from seeing her eat so much candy. I swear, the next time I see candy, I'll kill everyone in a ten mile radius from my position. Believe me when I say it, if you were there, you would understand.
Continuing down our path, we soon arrived at another village. However! After this, we were only five miles back to Konoha, the Hidden Leaf Village! (However I said it earlier in this damn story!)
"Kuro." Tana said. "I'm hungry. I want-" Oh, god! Please no! Not again! Anything but candy! "-some meat!" I silently thanked every hundred and forty six Gods I knew.
"Sure. I'll hunt you anything you so desire!"
"Really? then get me a white specked deer!"
"Damn it Tana! Those things live in the far, far North of us!"
"So? You said you'd-"
"Who cares what I say? I'm basically a mad man! Who in their right minds listens to a mad man?"
"Uh, me?"
"..." I just silently walked on.
"Damn it Kuro!" Tana mimicked me. "How 'bout we fight for it?"
"Fine. The amount of anger I'm feeling right now might just lead me to victory!"
"No Akaoni!"
"...Fine." I said.
"And no weapons! Just taijutsu!"
"...So you're basically asking me to a challenge that you know you'll win?"
"Yep!"
I know she'll win. She knows she'll win. But still! She's a thirteen year old girl! She may be a damn prodigy, but I am one too! And I'm fifteen! That means that I should be better! Right? Right? Well, this time, for sure! I will end her winning streak! I will take her down! I will pommel her to the dirt like the maggot she is! I will-
Long story short, I lost.
SPECIAL
I ducked under her kick and then tackled her to the ground, but she easily spun around before we landed on the ground, and evaded my tackle. I pushed out my hands and hit the ground, sending me back onto my feet. I spun around and blocked a punch. Then jumped over a kick. Before landing on the ground, I forced my body to lean back to dodge another punch. When my feet hit the ground, I jumped back and then when she came forward, I leaped forward into a drop kick.
However, she predicted this and side stepped my attack. Dropping low to the ground, she put her hands together, but kept her two index fingers outstretched.
"One thousand years of pain!" She cried and jabbed does two fingers into my butt. However, it was just a clone, so it exploded harmlessly, in a pouf of white smoke, its memories, its pain, transferring to me. Who, for your information, appeared right behind the girl, doing a round house kick. The girl was prepared, however, as she easily caught my leg and tipped me off balance.
I soon landed on the ground after that. Jumping up and landed on me, her knees digging into my stomach, and then she leaned into me, pinning my hands down with hers and kicking my feet a few times and threatened to knee me where in hurts if I kept moving.
I stared up at my attackers face, which was mere inches from my own, right in kissing distance. Narrowing my eyes, I waited for whatever torture I would now experience.
Seconds passed.
Minutes passed.
Hours passed.
Days passed.
Weeks passed.
Months passed.
Years passed.
Okay, it was just five seconds. But those five seconds were so long... Yes... Longer than a minute. An hour. A day. A week. A month. A year. Well... Actually it felt as long as five seconds. And now you're saying to stop trolling me! And now you're thinking, how do I know what you're thinking? Now you're like, oh shit, is he a mind reader? The answer to your, wait, what? You never said any of that? You asked to get back to the fight? Oh. Well... shut up.
"Get me some candy or have your first kiss taken!" Tana demanded.
"Never!" I said and moved my head away from her and clenched my jaw.
"Damn it Kuro, just give me the sweets!" She demanded and started to move her mouth closer to mine, but I kept moving it from left to right, up to down, so she had to keep moving. After a minute of doing this, she had enough and kneed me where it hurts. She then searched my pockets and found a brown bag. Checking its contents, she happily hopped off of me and skipped away, humming a song about candy.
I, however, stayed on the ground, holding my privates, in a lot of pain. Damn you Tana! One of these days... one of these days!
I'll... I don't know, toss you down a ravine? Either that, or destroy every piece of candy in the world. Either way, I'll do something!
Then, everything went to black as the chapter finished.
There we go. I wanted to make it longer, because I spent so much time not updating this story, but you know life... Anyway, I don't know when the next chapter will come out, so I want you to still consider this story in Hiatus! And with that, PEACE!