When Skies Are Grey Chapter 25: look at everything we've grown, a pretty little liars fanfic

Good morning, good morning! Well... This is it, my friends! This is the final chapter! I cannot even begin to express to you how grateful I am for all of you, for the support you've given me and the encouragement you've continued to show me since the beginning of this story, way back in February. This isn't a goodbye- I don't know when I'll be back, but I can't pretend this is the last you'll hear from me. Writing is what I do; it's who I am. And I'm definitely not going to stop just because a chapter is ending here. So basically what I'm saying is you are all amazing and I want to thank each of you for your kindness and love these past few months. I will never be able to thank you enough.

This chapter title comes from "The Gambler" by Fun. because we have to end where we started. It's a chapter all about letting go, moving on, and it's something I think we all need to embrace, considering today is the final day of filming- ever- for Pretty Little Liars. Thank you all for everything you've given me. I will never be able to repay you. I love you all and I hope to see you again soon in the near future!

we move out to the garden, look at everything we've grown

All in all, it had gone surprisingly well.

In no way, shape or form does he think he's acquiring Spencer like a piece of property or anything. For one, that kind of thinking is barbaric and antiquated and for another, not a single person on this earth could ever hope to tell Spencer Hastings what she can and can't do. Years and years of being with her has proven this to be true; she does what she wants when she wants and doesn't give a single shit what anyone else thinks. It's something that's always amused, amazed and, if he's being honest, frustrated him, but he loves that she's able to be her own person in this very way. So telling her parents had been much more for his benefit than hers, or even theirs, as a couple; it isn't like he was asking for permission or anything. Toby was merely assuring the parents of his wonderful girlfriend that he's serious about her (as if they didn't already know) and that their relationship is bound to move forward when he visits her in November. They'd been uncharacteristically thrilled at the idea and it had left Toby's apprehension momentarily at ease.

And now he's standing at the end of his own driveway, staring up at his childhood home, and all the nerves and anxieties come flooding back.

The reason he's come today, a random Thursday in October, is because he knows both his father and his stepmother are occupied at work. He's pretty sure if he even entertained the idea of telling his parents he's going to propose to Spencer he'd actually lose his mind. They do not approve of the relationship for some reason unbeknownst to him even now, six years later, and it's better, he thinks, if he just informs his parents of the engagement after it happens (probably so they won't have time to talk him out of it once it's already over). That old rusty brass key still jingles on his key ring and he fiddles with it nervously, contemplating the task at hand. If his parents are nowhere to be found, this should be a simple task and he shouldn't be feeling this uneasy about it. This logic doesn't stop the feeling of dread from forming in the pit of his stomach.

"Toby?"

A voice from behind startles him and he whirls around in a panic. Luckily for him, it's only Emily, crossing the street from her own childhood home upon the sight of him. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Could ask you the same question," Toby grins, greeting her with a hug. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Job interview," She answers his unasked question. "I'm not really looking to move back to Rosewood, but I'm broke and kind of desperate, right now."

"I hear that," Toby chuckles. "Where? The school?"

"My coach is retiring," Emily nods in confirmation. "She said she thinks I'd be perfect for the job."

"You would," Toby agrees and she grins bashfully.

"Thanks. I'm meeting my mom for lunch, if you want to join? She'd be happy to see you."

"Thanks," He smiles and nods towards his house. "But I've actually got something I need to take care of."

"Is everything okay with your dad?" She then asks and Toby shrugs.

"I guess so. We don't talk much." He replies. "I was actually here to… Well…"

When he trails off, Emily prods, "Pick up something of your mom's?"

"Kind of," Toby affirms. "I guess… You can't tell Spencer, okay?"

"Tell Spencer what?" She asks a bit warily.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me," Toby admits and watches the excitement change Emily's visage. "I wanted to see if my mother's ring was still around, somewhere, and if it's in good shape. I don't know. I might see it and want to get her a brand new one, or, I don't know, but-"

"Oh my god!" Emily shrieks, cutting him off and throwing her arms around him again. "You're getting engaged!"

Laughing, Toby hugs back and corrects her. "If she says yes, then yeah, I'm getting engaged."

"Toby, she'll say yes," Emily smirks. "I think it's really sweet you want to use your mother's ring. Have you thought about how you're going to do it? Or when?"

"I'm going to visit her in a few weeks for our anniversary. I was planning on doing it then," Toby says. "As for how… I'm not completely sure yet."

"Okay, well, you can always use me to bounce ideas off of," Emily says and squeals excitedly. "I'm so glad you told me! I'm so excited for you guys!"

"I was actually planning on telling you from the beginning," Toby says. "I don't know. It's nice to have someone else to share this with. Aria and I haven't ever been close and if I told Hanna, Spencer would know tomorrow."

Emily laughs. "That is true."

He bids her farewell a few moments later and slips his house key into the door, hearing the lock click out of place as it swings open and allows him entry. He unconsciously locks the door behind him, still wary to trust the citizens of Rosewood even after all these years and despite the notion that it is technically safe now. It's eerily silent and he does his best not to focus upon the smaller details as he heads upstairs, towards the attic. It's dusty and dark and smells musty, with cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling and a spider scurrying across the glass of the only window, facing the street. There are so many boxes of things up here and Toby had honestly forgotten that most of his young life lies forgotten among the decorations for Halloween and Christmas and spare car parts and light bulbs.

In the darkest corner, Toby finds the three large boxes he's been looking for. He opens the first one and a lump grows within his throat; it's full of sweaters, shoes, jeans, skirts and dresses and as Toby lifts them out of the box, his eyes begin to water, because it's been nearly two decades since his mother had worn the clothing and yet, her scent still lingers in the fabric. He's not sure why his father still has his mother's clothes in his possession, why he hasn't thrown them out or at the very least donated them, but he doesn't have the courage to ask. Instead, he folds the clothing very carefully and tucks them back into the box, sliding it across the floor. The next box is full of photographs and it brings Toby a rush of nostalgia. There's his mother, grinning in a wedding dress beside his father, who looks so much younger, and there's another, most likely their first photo as a family, with his mother looking sweaty and exhausted in a hospital bed, but beaming nonetheless with a tiny bundle in her arms, Daniel grinning beside her. From there, Toby finds album after album full of photos of him at various ages; six months old and grinning toothlessly at the camera, his face covered in green frosting at his first birthday party, two-years-old and impossibly blonde, his mother chasing him through the yard. He's not sure why his father had kept these albums hidden away for all his life, but Toby's adamant that these will be coming home with him whenever he leaves.

It's the third box that contains what he's looking for. There are a bunch of his mother's possessions, but what he really wants is the jewelry box lying at the bottom of the carton. He remembers the day she was committed like it was yesterday; she wasn't allowed any personal items behind the walls of the sanitarium and it had pained her greatly that she could not have a photo of her son or her wedding ring, her two most prized possessions. Toby had tried to be of some assistance; I'm not going to change much, Mom, and I'm going to visit all the time. You won't need a picture to remember what I look like. She'd smiled, the first real smile he'd gotten in a while, and he'd kept his promise and visited her religiously, every chance he got. Her ring had been a bit more difficult to part with and she'd slipped it off somberly and tucked it into Toby's open palm, telling him, Now I want you to take good care of my ring, okay Toby? It's very special to me. Toby had tried a joke- Because diamonds are a girl's best friend?- and failed. Marion had shaken her head and said, Because it's a symbol of love and trust. And no matter what happens or what has happened, nothing can change that. It's something he hadn't quite understood until after she'd passed, but what she'd said next will stay with him until the end of his days. Someday when you're ready, when you've fallen in love, you'll understand. Maybe you'll even want to give that special someone my ring and I would be more than happy to give it to you. Remember that. Remember that you'll always have my blessing. Toby had faltered, But Mom, you'll be here for that, won't you? If I ever get married… You'll be at the wedding? And she had smiled, tears in her eyes, and brought him in for an embrace. Oh Toby. I wouldn't miss that for the world.

He ends up leaving the house with more than what he came here for. He couldn't leave his childhood memories behind and more importantly, he couldn't leave her most prized possessions rotting in the attic, either. He finds the photo of himself she'd been desperate to bring; a small, folded edge school photo, from sixth or seventh grade, when his hair had been in a transitory period from blonde to chestnut brown and he looked like he'd spent all summer surfing in California. He's not sure if he wants to propose to Spencer using his mother's ring and he's not sure what he wants to do with the photo albums full of memories he now has in his possession. But he does know he needs to let go of every heart wrenching, somber, woeful memory surrounding his mother unless he wants to mourn her for the rest of his life. He'd like to remember her in a positive light and he's only going to be able to do that if he allows himself to get some closure.

Toby finds himself driving towards the mausoleum before he can register what he's doing. He takes the quiet empty path towards his mother's tomb and his footsteps echo off the smooth marble. Replacing the dead hydrangeas with fresh, sweet-smelling ones instead, Toby heaves a sigh and toys with his mother's ring, still between his fingers even now. It's deadly silent inside and desperate to break this, he says, softly, "Hi Mom. I'm sorry it's been so long since… since I've visited. It's not that I forgot or anything; I never could. It's just… October 24th comes every year whether I want it to or not."

"Anyway… I'm going to ask Spencer to marry me," Toby continues. "And I know you always had every intention of being there so I wanted to make sure you knew. I'm happy with her; I'm so ridiculously happy, I can't even put it into words. I don't really know where our journey together is going to take us, but I'm hoping it'll take us far away from here. I'll always come back and visit you; I promise. I love and miss you so much."

He hopes that wherever she is, she understands how much he needs this, how much he needs to let go.

Toby's at peace the rest of the day and can only imagine it's because she does.

"Should I put this box in the backseat? We're kind of running out of room back there."

"Whatever doesn't fit in my car will still fit on the truck."

"You guys are going to look hilarious strolling up to New York with all of this shit. There isn't going to be enough room in the whole city for all of your belongings, let alone your teeny little apartment."

Spencer rolls her eyes. "Did I ask for your input?"

"Does it matter?" Hanna sticks her tongue out. "You're getting it anyway."

"Is this box of dire importance?" Aria asks, carefully stepping down the stairs from the loft. "Or should it go on the truck?"

"Hold on," Spencer grins cheekily. "Let me ask my husband."

Aria smirks, shaking her head. "Are you going to do this all day?"

"Toby," Spencer calls into the open door of the moving van. "Aria's box- important or not?"

"Not especially," He calls back. "Here, give it to me. I'll put it in here."

"Toby!" Emily then calls from the top of the staircase. "Is this the last box?"

"Not sure," Toby then beams, nodding towards Spencer. "I'll have to ask the Mrs."

"Good lord, you guys are so annoying," Hanna rolls her eyes. "It'll be a nice break to have the two of you in New York for a while so you're not shoving your newlywed status in our faces all the time."

"You shoved your newlywed status in our faces for a year," Spencer points out and Emily nods her agreement, handing off the final box.

"She's got a point, you know," Emily says. "What's wrong, Hanna? Two years in and the heat's already died down?"

"Nothing's dying down, thank you very much," She disagrees. "But at least we aren't nauseating about it."

"Oh, but we're only nauseating because we know it bothers you," Spencer teases. "Shouldn't have said anything."

She purses her lips as Toby hops out of the truck and seals it shut, Aria doing the same to the back of Spencer's SUV. After the hugs and farewells are doled out, they hit the open road, the moving trailer bouncing around unsteadily behind them. Excitedly, Spencer says, "This is our first road trip! This is legitimately the beginning of the rest of our lives."

"I know. The rest of our lives…" He repeats and glances over, meeting her eyes. "All three of them."

Her hand instantly flocks to her stomach, where their very first raspberry-sized child rests. "Yeah. I'm still kind of freaking out about that so let's not even go there."

"Everything is going to be okay."

"I hate it when you say that."

"I'm sorry," He smirks. "But it is. We're going to figure it out. We'll be alright."

"Well I know we'll be alright," Spencer says. "It's us. We're always alright. But I found it hard enough to balance my own life with school and exams and everything in grad and undergrad. How the hell am I going to manage another?"

"Well you'll have me too," He says. "You're not in this alone. We'll have to figure out a schedule that works for both of us but there will be plenty of time for that."

"Our first schedule? Seems marriage-y," Spencer grins and he chuckles, too.

They pass her childhood home and his, too, and find themselves slowly getting filled with an odd sense of nostalgia as they prepare to leave everything behind. Toby sighs and says, "I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'm actually kind of going to miss this place."

"Ew, why?" Spencer asks. "This town is a nightmare and made both of our lives a living hell."

"I know," Toby agrees. "And I hate that. I hate this town for doing that to us. But… I mean, the loft is the first place I ever felt at home, after my mom died, and the Grille is where I always used to escape to whenever things with Jenna would get tough. Which, honestly, was all the time."

"Yeah, you're right," Spencer sighs. "And we always used to go to… what was that place called? The little Italian restaurant?"

"Buccoli's?" Toby fills in and she nods.

"That's the one. Their penne alla vodka was incredible," She says. "Did you hear they're closing? They're putting a Chipotle in."

"Gross," Toby frowns. "They're really trying to rebrand this town, huh? Next thing you know, they'll close The Brew and replace it with a Starbucks."

"I wouldn't put it past them," Spencer agrees. "I guess I'll miss some of these places too, but I'm not going to miss Rosewood."

"I'll miss the Edgewood Motor Court," Toby says instead and she smiles. "I'll miss our spot at Lookout Point."

"Soon," Spencer replies as they pass the cerulean welcome sign and the town shrinks in the rearview mirror. "We'll be coming back here with our little one… As a family of three."

Toby takes a deep breath and finds himself nodding; he hadn't yet gotten used to the notion, either. "Yeah. That's so weird to think about."

"I don't want to spend a lot of time here with the baby," Spencer says. "But they should know where their mother and father grew up. And fell in love, too."

"I one hundred percent agree," Toby says, turning onto the highway. "They'll have to know about the tragedies someday."

"Someday," Spencer agrees. "But not anytime soon."

It's two and a half hours until they reach New York City and the further they drive, the more the freedom begins to set in. They'll never be able to fully escape the town of their nightmares; their families will always reside there, their friends will always be there to remind them, and they had just as many good times as they did bad. Slanderous words had been spread about both of them and they were both accused of things they'd never done, and they'd been alone and afraid, but this, in turn, had led them to each other. Nervous teenagers in a hotel room, they'd kissed in the early morning sunlight, not realizing this very moment would jumpstart a whirlwind of a romance that would last the rest of their lives. Through thick and thin, through death threats and menacing messages and outside forces trying to tear them apart, they had somehow stuck even closer together and had come out the other side stronger than ever. Rosewood had dragged them through hell and back, but Rosewood had also brought them together.

Their eyes meet, then, and smiles, warm and slow, grow on both of their faces. They've come a long way, but still, the future is bright ahead.

Grace Marion Cavanaugh enters the world at 10:38 p.m. on January 8th, a full two days, sixteen hours and forty-seven minutes ago. Spencer knows these exact details, knows each and every moment right down to the second, because she's been awake for almost every single one. The hospital had asked if the new parents wanted them to take her back to the nursery the first night they were there, but Spencer and Toby had declined, because despite the exhaustion they were both facing, they were already obsessively in love with their daughter and didn't want to be apart from her. The next day, they'd had visitor after visitor, family and friends, and by the night, Toby was definitely seeing double and Spencer was forgetting words here and there and slurring her speech from exhaustion. At this point, the hospital had insisted, and Grace was whisked away to sleep in the nursery while her parents finally got their coveted rest. It hadn't lasted; she'd needed to be fed not a few hours later and they'd kept her into the morning.

They were released from the hospital at noon and had, once again, entertained visitors all afternoon. Spencer's pretty sure she's never been this tired, but even still, she's not sure she completely feels it. She's also on this amazing high that could have only come from bringing new life into the world and when she glances at the look on Toby's face, she knows he's feeling the very same thing. They've laid her down on a receiving blanket right in the middle of their bed, still dressed in her homecoming outfit and a tiny knit hat to keep her extremities warm in the cold New York air, and are perched on the foot of the bed, just watching in awe as she wriggles and squirms in front of them. This beautiful little girl, this tiny little human that is half her and half Toby, this precious life that they'd created has completely brought her to her knees.

"Look at this little munchkin," Spencer breaks the silence a moment later when she can no longer control herself. "I can't believe she's finally here. I can't believe… I can't believe she's ours."

"She's perfect," Toby agrees. "She's absolutely perfect. I know we thought we weren't ready, but-"

"Toby, I'm still not sure we're ready," She replies. "But when are people ever ready?"

"When they have homes and steady paychecks and aren't still in school and don't live in a tiny apartment in New York City." He grins and she smirks.

"Okay, fair enough," She sighs. "But I'm glad she's here. I'm glad this happened when it did."

"So am I," Toby agrees. "I never thought I'd ever believe in love at first sight but… God, look at her. She's so beautiful."

"Look at those tiny fingers," Spencer coos. "And her little nose."

"And her perfect little toes," Toby agrees. "Those tiny lips."

"She has your eyes," Spencer says dreamily. "I was hoping she'd have your eyes."

"When I look at her, it's like… Nothing else matters, you know?" He wonders and she nods, instantly knowing what he means. "It's all about her. We need to do everything we can to make sure she has the best life she can have."

"We will. I won't accept anything less," Spencer says. "We are going to work so incredibly hard and move out of the city the second I get my degree."

"I'll build us a house somewhere safe and with good schools," Toby promises. "You can decorate it any way you'd like."

"We're going to love her so much," Spencer adds. "And support her no matter what she feels, thinks or wants to do."

"Of course we will. And we already love her so much," Toby replies and she has to give him that one. "And with any other future children along the way, we'll-"

"Whoa," Spencer stops him. "No one said anything about future kids."

Toby chuckles. "Are we one and done?"

"I don't know," She shrugs. "We just- just- had Grace. I wasn't thinking about any future children. I want to enjoy the one we have."

"Okay, but hypothetically speaking… We could have future kids."

"Siblings? Yeah, and when have siblings ever worked out for you and I?"

"Our kids would be different."

"Toby, if you want to push the next kid out of your vagina, be my guest," Spencer tells him and he laughs heartily. "I'm not interested in having any more kids."

Grace squirms a little more and then begins to fuss. Toby scoops her into his arms and says, "It's okay, monkey. You're alright. You're safe. Daddy will always be here to protect you. Always."

"Ooh, I better watch out," Spencer teases, bending forward to kiss Grace right in the middle of her tiny forehead. "There's a new lady in Toby Cavanaugh's life."

"Ah, come on," Toby shakes his head. "You know you're my number one. Always."

She snuggles into him as his free arm comes around her and they admire their daughter together. Grace inhales a tiny breath and yawns and, if possible, from this small action, her parents fall even more in love.

Toby's pretty sure Spencer hasn't let the baby leave her arms all day. It doesn't take a detective to figure out why.

He finds her, now, in their tiny bedroom, sitting upon the bed with Grace fast asleep in her arms, staring off into space. "Penny for your thoughts?"

She either doesn't hear him or wishes to keep her thoughts to herself; he's assuming the latter. Climbing into bed beside her, he nods towards the infant and says, "She looks pretty cozy but wouldn't it be nice if there were an invention or something where babies could sleep? Somewhere soft and warm; a crib, perhaps, or maybe even a bassinet?"

Spencer snaps from her reverie and shoots him a look. "She's fine where she is."

"I didn't say she wasn't," Toby tells her. "But it's okay to put her down, you know. She'll be alright."

Spencer sighs and reluctantly tucks the baby into the bassinet at her bedside. "Do I need my doctorate?"

"Not really." Toby says. "Only if you want to become a doctor."

She purses her lips before asking. "Do I want to become a doctor?"

"Spence," He asks. "What's this really about?"

"I'm seriously rethinking my entire life plan, right now," Spencer says. "I'm reconsidering how much I want to get this degree."

"Because you're not ready to go back to school tomorrow," Toby correctly guesses. "And more importantly, not ready to leave Grace behind at daycare."

"What if something happens?" She wonders. "You read about corrupt daycares all the time, you know? The employees beating children or forgetting about them or abusing them… Babies die in daycare, Toby. I can't… I can't just willingly leave my daughter there. She's so tiny; she's defenseless. She can't tell me if something bad is happening and she can't ask for help. I've been thinking about this all day and I just… I can't let anything happen to her."

Toby nods, slinging an arm around her shoulder and bringing her body into his. "I can understand that."

Quietly, she admits, "I'm just not ready to let her go yet. I'm afraid of what'll happen when I'm not there."

"That's a perfectly valid reason to be afraid," Toby assures her. "I'm not going to lie to you, Spence, it freaks me out too. But this daycare is run through the YMCA; it's not a budget childcare facility run out of someone's basement. We researched and people had nothing but good things to say about it and we visited and really liked it, remember? It's still going to be hard, I know; there's definitely going to be an adjustment period. But if we want that great big beautiful life that we promised Grace, this is the first step in getting there."

"It's going to be so hard." Spencer sighs and then lifts her head a bit to meet his eyes. "Will you come with me tomorrow? To drop her off? It'll be easier if you're there with me."

"Of course I will," Toby agrees. "I was already planning on it."

"It sucks. We'd just gotten into a routine," Spencer says. "I'd get some papers and classwork done while she took her morning nap and then I'd feed her and we'd play and sometimes take a walk. And I'd usually try and take a nap while she took her afternoon nap, but I sometimes would forego that to get some housework done. Oh, and we'd always send you an 'I woke up like this' selfie, afterwards."

Toby chuckles. "I am going to miss my 'I woke up like this' selfies. My girls are the cutest."

She swats at him lazily. "God, if I'm this much of a wreck now, I can't imagine what I'll be like when she starts real school. Or college. Or gets married and leaves me for good."

"Hey, she's six weeks old," Toby shakes his head. "All of those things are lifetimes away."

"Well, if time moves as fast then as it did in these past six weeks," Spencer says. "I better prepare myself now."

"It is kind of a good thing, though," Toby then says. "We have to learn to loosen the reigns a little. Let other people take care of Grace. We can't be attached to her forever."

"Speak for yourself," Spencer disagrees. "I want to raise her. I don't want anyone else to do it."

"No, obviously I want to raise her, too. That's not what I meant." Toby says. "But if we're afraid to let someone else watch her, then we can kiss date nights and anniversary trips and any other childless activities goodbye, because we'll never be able to get a babysitter. And that's not healthy, for her or for us. She needs interaction with other people too, not just her parents."

"I know, I know. It's true." Spencer replies. "We do have to learn to let go just a little. But only a little."

"Oh God, yeah, only a little," Toby nods his agreement. "Believe me, daycare's not going to become a regular thing. She'll only be there when she absolutely has to be and when we have literally no other option."

"Exactly," Spencer says. "I refuse to have a child who calls their teacher 'mommy' because they don't know the difference."

They settle further into bed and Toby asks, "So are you okay now? Are you going to drop her off with minimal tears and go to class with your head held high?"

"Can't guarantee that, but I'm going to try at least and that's got to count for something," Spencer says. "I'll probably call her teacher in between all my classes just for updates and to make sure she's alright. I'll be that annoying mom."

"Nah, I'm sure they're used to that with first-timers," Toby tells her. "It'll be alright. We'll be alright; all three of us."

Spencer sighs. "I sure hope so."

It's late July and the day burns as hot as a furnace. Spencer's been so busy and working so incredibly hard and in an effort to get their energetic, vivacious toddler out of the house for the afternoon, Toby decides to take Grace to the public swimming pool. She loves outdoor activities of any kid and she buzzes excitedly the whole way there. He gets her changed and straps her into a life vest the pool provides and carefully steps into the pool, relief from the day's hellish temperatures already flooding through him the moment the water meets his skin. Once in the water, he reaches for Grace and with a mischievous, daring grin, she leaps from the side of the pool into his arms. From there, they spend a wonderful hour splashing about, swimming from one end of the shallow end to the other, tossing toys back and forth and just generally enjoying the cool waters on a miserably hot day. Toby's feeling pretty confident about the whole thing; he'd managed to get her there, changed and in the water unscathed and then, when his fingers are pruned and his stomach growls for lunch, he decides it's time to go and his daughter doesn't even disagree. He's pretty sure he's going to win father of the year.

On the walk home from the pool, however, he loses his title for sure.

At two-and-a-half, Grace is in the 'do it myself' stage and so when he'd wrapped her towel around her tiny body and gone to lift her into his arms, she'd scurried away from him and insisted she was going to walk home by herself, like a big girl. He doesn't disagree, but he keeps one of her tiny hands clasped in his the whole way while her other hand holds tight to the towel that is looped around her body. It begins to drag on the sidewalk on more than one occasion and, each time, they stop and Toby tucks it more firmly around her. It's a tireless process, but somehow, they make it home alright. Again, he goes to carry her up the front steps and again, she disagrees, and this ends up being their downfall. The towel has once again slipped from around her body and she steps on the tail end of it, causing her to face plant onto the front steps before losing her balance and falling down the porch steps, onto the sidewalk.

The first thing Toby sees is the blood; it's everywhere and he curses himself for not being quick enough to catch her before she'd fallen. There's a sound coming out of his daughter that he's never heard before; she's wailing, shrieking beyond recognition, and Toby is honestly paralyzed in his spot, unsure of what to do. There's blood on the steps, on the towel, on the sidewalk and pouring from Grace's mouth and nose, mixing with the salty tears streaming from her eyes. Finally, adrenaline mixes with panic and Toby snaps into action, scooping her into his arms and stepping gingerly over the bloody mess outside; it looks, honestly, like someone had been murdered on their front porch, but he'll deal with that later. Now, his attention must be on his little girl. He rushes into the house, Grace continuing to scream her cries, and does what he always does when he has no idea what to do.

"Spencer!"

Luckily for him, she's already hastily approaching; likely, she'd heard Grace's screams from outside. "What's going on? What happened? Why is she covered in blood? What happened?"

"We had an accident. We…" Toby exhales, trying to calm his furiously beating heart. "We were walking home and she didn't want me to carry her and she tripped on her towel coming up the stairs and…"

Spencer's turned away, ducking into the linen closet and then into the bathroom. She returns with an ice-cold washcloth, wet and ready for healing. "Jesus Christ. She looks like Freddy Krueger."

She begins to wipe some of the blood away, tenderly mending her screeching child, and croons to her, softly, "I know, Gracie, I know. It's okay. It's going to be okay. You're alright."

Toby's shaking. His heart's in his throat and he's holding Grace so tightly he's not sure he'll ever be able to let go. It's strange, honestly, because usually he's the calm one and Spencer's the one in a frenzy. He can't say he enjoys the other side. After a beat, Spencer leans a bit closer and kisses Grace's bruised cheek, saying, "I think we're going to have to go to the hospital. She's bitten through her lip there, you see? I'm afraid that might need stitches."

Toby nods wordlessly and somehow- he doesn't know, really- they end up in the emergency room. Spencer's pressing an ice pack to the bridge of Grace's nose and Toby has the toddler curled up against his chest, the front of his shirt becoming soaked through with what he assumes is her tears, but later realizes it's her blood. As usual in the emergency room, they spend hours just sitting in triage before a doctor even looks their way and when one does, he gives them good news. Grace's nose isn't broken and the swelling and bruising on her cheeks and chin will go down and away eventually. She does, unfortunately, need four stitches across her bottom lip, which is one of the hardest things they've ever had to witness and endure, and by the end of their trip, they're feeling so worn out and exhausted by this whole experience, they buy Grace an ice cream cone for dinner and tuck her into bed early.

He's still sitting in his blood-soaked shirt when Spencer finds him an hour later. "I hosed off the front porch and sidewalk so it no longer looks like a crime scene. I don't think we'd pass a luminol test, but at least its something."

The corners of his mouth twitch but still, he remains silent. She frowns now and comes to sit beside him, nudging his side. "Babe, you haven't said a single word since before we left for the hospital. What's up? I know it was scary, but all's well that ends well, right?"

Toby sighs and very quietly, replies, "It's my fault."

Spencer's entire face falls. "What? No, it's not."

"I hurt her. I'm the reason she got hurt," Toby shakes his head. "All because I agreed to her little fit of independence. I should've just… I didn't catch her in time and… This whole thing is my fault."

Spencer reaches for his hand, clasping it in both of hers. "Toby…"

"I love her so much," He continues. "I promised I'd always protect her; I'd never let anything happen to her and then… It's my fault she got hurt."

"No, it isn't," Spencer insists. "You're not perfect, Toby. You're not always going to catch her when she falls."

"But I'm her father," Toby sighs. "I'm supposed to."

"You can't be there for every little thing. You just can't," Spencer says. "That's how she becomes her own person. And you gave into her bout of independence and that's a good thing. That's what you're supposed to do."

"Even now?" Toby asks. "Even when this is the result?"

"Look, what happened today was awful. I'm not disputing that," Spencer shakes her head. "When you brought her in the house today and I saw… I saw all the blood, I was terrified. I mean, I'd never seen that much blood and I'd never heard her scream like that. I almost had a heart attack."

Toby points out, "But you didn't. You were calm as anything."

"One of us had to be. You were freaking out." Spencer says. "And I didn't want to scare her any more than she already was. But believe me, on the inside, I was a fucking mess."

Toby nods but says, "I still feel like this was my fault, somehow."

"Well, it wasn't," Spencer assures him. "I don't blame you and I know Grace doesn't, either. It's just one of those things, Toby. I mean, it's awful and she's going to be in pain for a little bit, but she's going to be okay. Kids get banged up all the time. We can't protect them from everything."

"I know you're right," Toby says. "I know you are. But I still can't help but feel like… Like I failed her, somehow."

"Oh no, Toby, you didn't," Spencer's immediately shaking her head. "I promise you didn't. It was an accident. Just a terrible, stupid accident and it didn't change anything. You're still the best, most amazing father to Grace that I could ever ask for and she still loves you just as much as she did before this happened. And so do I. You know I do."

Toby nods. "I know."

"It's okay to feel bad. I'm not trying to talk you out of that. I'm sure I'd be beating myself up just as much if it had been me," Spencer says and, oddly, this is what finally puts a smile on his face. "I just want you to know that no one blames you, so you don't have to blame yourself. Accidents happen and, honestly, I doubt this will be the last."

"Hopefully she won't need an ER visit or stitches, next time." Toby says and Spencer nods her agreement.

"Yeah, hopefully. It's always best to avoid those." She presses a kiss to his cheek then and asks, "Are you okay?"

"I guess so," He leans in closer to capture her lips instead. "I just don't like fucking up. Parenting isn't a job you can fuck up at, you know?"

"Are you kidding?" She disagrees. "This is a job you have to fuck up at, or you're never going to get any better. In fact, we're going to fuck up. Again and again, Toby, because there's no such thing as the perfect parent."

"Wow," Toby says. "If you've accepted that and I haven't, there's something seriously wrong with this picture."

She chuckles and says, "It wasn't easy for me, trust me."

Their tiny little peanut is sound asleep in her bassinet, softly snoring, while her older sister reads "Goodnight Moon" from her parents' bedside. It's a sight that would melt even the coldest of hearts.

"Do you remember what you told me after Grace was born?" Toby then asks, snapping Spencer out of her comfortable reverie. "Regarding the two of us having more children?"

"That I didn't want anymore," Spencer smirks. "Yeah, I remember."

"Do you regret it?" He then wonders. "Do you regret saying that?"

"Kind of," She nods. "I don't want Lilly to think, for even a second, that she was unwanted."

"She won't ever think that," Toby assures her. "She knows."

"Good," Spencer smiles. "Because I've loved this little princess from the moment I knew she existed. And I'm so glad she's here with us. I'm so glad we have two preciously perfect little girls, now."

"I have never been more outnumbered in my life," Toby tells her and she chuckles. "But it's alright. I love my girls."

The baby sneezes then and Grace exclaims, "Bless you!" before mopping up her tiny nose with the burp cloth on the bedside table and continuing her story. Spencer can feel Toby's eyes on her and she asks, "What?"

"Nothing," He insists. "You look happy."

"I am happy," Spencer replies. "Aren't you happy?"

"I always am when I'm with you," Toby says and she beams, blushing. "I was just thinking about that conversation and wondering what changed your mind."

"About having more kids?" She asks and when he nods, she sighs. "I don't know. It was a bunch of things. I was so sure we'd be one and done; I mean, look at our pasts with siblings, right? Look at what we both went through."

"Yeah," Toby agrees. "I definitely understand."

"But part of it was Grace," Spencer says. "I didn't want her to grow up lonely just because I was being selfish. I saw the way she looked at her friends' siblings and all the questions she always had about babies… Not to mention I missed having one. I missed how tiny she used to be and her cute little baby laugh and that squeal she'd always do whenever we picked her up out of the crib. I missed the chubby little cheeks and tiny fingers and toes and that great baby smell. I missed the cuddles."

"There's nothing better than baby cuddles," He agrees and she grins.

"Part of it was me," She continues. "I would see babies in the grocery store or the bank or even at work, sometimes, and my uterus would skip a beat, or something. I just felt this ache, this longing, for one. And I began thinking about us and about Grace and about how we're nothing like my family or yours and we'd never let it get to that point. And even though it scared me to even think about having two little girls, I was also kind of sure that if we did, they'd never turn out like Melissa and me. I would never let that happen. But I don't think I even have to worry about that because Grace already loves Lilly in a way that I can't even describe. And even though I was kind of worried that I wouldn't be able to love another child like I already love my firstborn, I am so, so glad to say that little Lilly has completely proven me wrong."

"I knew she would," Toby grins. "You care more and love harder than anyone that I know."

"And, finally, part of it was you," Spencer finishes. "Because whether you've realized it or not, Toby, you were born to be a father. You were. I've watched you with Grace for six years and you just… It's so effortless. You go along with her games and make her laugh uncontrollably and do separate voices for each character when you're reading her bedtime stories and you can always make her feel better, always, when she's sick or sad. I don't even know how you do it. It's just second nature, I guess. But I'd see you with her and it just… It just resonated with me. I always thought, that man deserves ten children. And that's literally never going to happen so don't get any ideas."

He chuckles despite the sentiment. "Two is good, too."

Grinning, she adds, "I'm not saying it, this time. I'm not opposed to more."

His eyes widen. "You aren't?"

"No," Spencer says. "Not anytime soon or anything. This NICU thing was traumatic."

"Yeah, it was," Toby agrees. "Let's enjoy our time as a family of four for a while. Just the two of us and our two little girls."

"Goodnight stars, goodnight air," Grace finishes. "Goodnight noises everywhere."

Miraculously, Lilly is sound asleep and, giddily, Grace hops closer onto the bed, into her father's awaiting arms. "Lilly's asleep now! I did that! Did you see?"

"I did!" Toby praises her efforts. "Good job, Gracie!"

"See, babe?" Spencer grins. "You're such a great big sister already."

"I can't wait 'til she's big enough to play with me," Grace decides. "I'm going to teach her everything. I hope she's not a baby forever."

"Aw, why not?" Spencer disagrees. "I wished for you to stay a baby forever and you didn't listen to me."

Grace giggles and crawls into her mother's lap instead. "But Mommy, if I was still a baby, then you'd have two of them and that would be a lot of work. And no one would help you! It would just be you and Daddy!"

"That's true," Spencer considers, running her fingers through her daughter's wild hair. "I would miss my best helper; my favorite six-year-old in the whole world."

Grace asks, "What happens when I turn seven? Then what?"

"Then you'll be my favorite seven-year-old in the whole world."

She grins. "See? So I have to grow up."

"Alright," Spencer concedes. "Just not so fast, okay?"

She nods her agreement. "Deal."

"Okay monkey, ready for bed?" Toby then asks. "Is it story time for Gracie now?"

"Yes," She says, hugging and kissing her mother before hopping off the bed. "One more kiss goodnight for the baby."

Peering over the side of the bassinet, Grace presses a feather light kiss on Lilly's tiny forehead before whispering, "Goodnight, Lilly! Sweet dreams! I love you!"

She begins to follow her father towards her bedroom before seeming to remember something. "Wait! I forgot to tell her a secret."

"A secret?" Spencer asks. "You two already have a secret?"

"Sisters always have secrets," Grace says, stepping closer to the bassinet to murmur, "I can't wait until you grow up so we can play. Not too fast though; we promised Mommy."

From there, she skips forward and slips her hand into her father's, asking, "Can we read Rapunzel tonight?"

"Sure, sweetheart. Why don't you go get it ready for me?" Toby suggests, squeezing her hand as she nods and scurries off towards her bedroom. Turning back towards his wife, he says, "If you ever had any doubt about whether these two were going to love each other…"

"No, that's dead and buried. Completely gone," Spencer assures him. "Our family, thank goodness, is nothing like mine."

"Or mine," Toby agrees. "Thankfully."

"And our girls already love each other like sisters are supposed to," Spencer grins. "Which is, honestly, all I could ever ask for."

This is the day she's been dreading since the moment this child left the womb.

They'd taken her out to dinner the night before, just the three of them, while their oldest and youngest dined at home with their aunt and uncle, and Lilly had chosen a Chinese restaurant in the middle of town. She'd been quiet the entire meal and had eaten nothing but a bowl of edamame and the ice cream sundae they'd ordered her for dessert. Somehow, she'd slept soundly all night even though neither of her parents had; well, Spencer supposes Toby had fallen asleep eventually, but she knows she never had. Grace starts middle school today and this thought completely baffles and excites her, because Grace has always adjusted well to new surroundings and she absolutely loves school. Henry doesn't start preschool until next week, so he's still enjoying his extended summer vacation. Lilly, on the other hand, is beginning kindergarten, and everyone, save for Henry, who doesn't quite understand, is worried for her.

She's quiet all throughout breakfast, dresses in the first day outfit she'd chosen and laid out the night before with impeccable care, and then tucks her school supplies into her backpack and slips it over her shoulders. Grace is already long gone, her own nerves over leaving her little sister behind quenched expertly by her father, and therefore, only the four of them remain. Spencer smiles encouragingly at her little girl and receives only a small smile in response. Hand in hand, they walk to the end of the driveway and then to the end of the street, where the bus would pick up all the elementary students for the brand new year. When they approach, dozens of kids are tittering on excitedly about the day ahead and, in response, Spencer clutches Lilly's hand even tighter. She's always been painfully, painfully shy and doesn't always know the best way to communicate what she needs, but she's exceptionally bright and Spencer knows she'll love school as long as she's able to give it a chance.

"Mommy," Lilly then says, her voice small. "It's only a couple hours, right?"

She always wonders what it is about this child that makes her heart ache and she always remembers whenever Lilly says something like this. "Yes, baby. Just a couple of hours and then you'll be right back on the bus on the way home to us. You'll go in and make some new friends and listen to your teacher and learn a lot and play on that brand new playground. And then you'll come home and I'll be waiting right here for you. Daddy too."

"And," Lilly adds, still trying to make herself feel better. "And my teacher's nice?"

"Of course she is," Spencer nods. "Remember when we met her a few weeks ago? She was super nice. And she was very excited to have you in her class."

Lilly nods slowly and then asks, "Can I just go back to preschool?"

"Honey, you're much too smart for preschool now," Toby adds, kneeling beside his wife, catching their daughter's eyes. "You've got to move forward, not back."

Suddenly, the big yellow school bus rounds the corner, chugs forward and comes to a stop, its doors opening as children reach to say their final goodbyes to their parents and charge up the steps. There's panic and terror in Lilly's eyes, now, but Henry doesn't read any of this. He leaps from his father's arms to give his older sister a hug. "Bye bye Lilly! Have fun at school!"

"Bye Henry," She says softly and then turns to her mother, frantic. "I don't want to go, Mommy."

"Lilly, you can do this. I know you can," Spencer tells her. "I know you're nervous and that's okay. That's totally normal. But it's going to be okay. Really, it is."

Lilly bites her lip and tries to nod, but her eyes fill with tears instead. Spencer frowns and pulls her into an embrace. "Hey, it's okay. Don't cry, baby. You promised me no tears, remember?"

She feels a few drop onto her shirt as her daughter cries, "I'm sorry."

"You know what? It's okay," Spencer says, giving her an extra squeeze before pulling back to look her in the eye. "It's okay to be scared. But you're going to have a great day. I love you and Daddy loves you and Grace and Henry love you, too. We're all rooting for you here and we know you can do this. Okay?"

"Okay," She swallows hard and swipes at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Are you ready?"

She nods after the slightest hesitation and Toby asks, "Do you want me to walk you to the bus?"

A much more confident nod follows the previous one and Toby takes her hand, strolling towards the school bus. He pulls her into a hug and tells her, "You're such a big girl, Lilly. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you. You're going to make all kinds of new friends and have a great day. And then you'll come home and I'll be here and you can tell me all about it. Okay?"

"Okay," Lilly replies, her voice only wavering slightly. "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, sunshine," He repeats and kisses her cheek. "Go. It's okay. Go."

And she does. She sniffles, inhales a deep breath and climbs up the steps, tentatively taking the very front seat and waving to her parents through the window. All three of them, Henry included, wave back. Spencer can feel tears burning at the backs of her eyes and she blinks rapidly to try and will them away. "Damn it. I didn't think this was going to be so hard."

When she glances at her husband, he's got tears in his eyes, too. "Yeah. I don't think any of us did."

"Well…" Spencer inhales a deep breath. "We can't shelter her from everything."

Toby nods but says, "You're going to have to keep reminding me."

"Mommy, I can't sleep!"

Toby frowns and his wife exhales heavily. "I just- just- laid down."

"I'll get him," Toby sighs. "Remember when he was an infant and never slept?"

"Remember how that time is also now?" Spencer groans. "You'd think that now, at three years old, he'd sleep through the night, but no, no, no! Why make life easy for us?"

Toby chuckles and peels back the covers. "I got it this time."

He steps out of bed and pads across the floor, ignoring the digital clock at his bedside that screams 3:24 a.m. The entire house is quiet and he imagines his girls are sound asleep, lost in dreamland and completely oblivious to the fact that their brother is running their parents ragged. He pushes the door open to his son's room and frowns at the sight of Henry, pulling a toy train around a track on his bedroom floor. At the sight of his father, he grins and says, "Hi Daddy. Do you want to be the green one or the red one?"

"Henry, I want to be asleep," Toby tells him. "It is not playtime. It's way past time for bed."

"I can't sleep," He frowns. "My bed is too hot."

"Turn on your fan."

"Then I'm really cold."

"Put on another blanket."

"But Daddy!"

"Henry, enough," Toby shakes his head, scooping his son into his arms and tucking him back into bed. "Close your eyes. Think happy thoughts. Let yourself sleep. Your body needs rest."

"My body needs to play!" Henry disagrees and sits up again as Toby heads for the door.

"Lay down," He commands and Henry obliges, crossing his arms over the blankets and pouting. "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too," He murmurs irritably and, smirking, Toby closes the door behind him.

When he returns to their bedroom, Spencer asks, "Coloring by flashlight?"

"No, playing with his trains," Toby sighs. "Do you think there's something wrong? I mean, this is every night. Why doesn't he sleep?"

"Because he's a stubborn pain in the ass," Spencer replies. "I mean I love him to death, don't get me wrong, but like… Sleep."

"Yeah, sleep. Haven't gotten a full night's sleep since he was born," Toby frowns. "Remember when we thought we had this parenting thing in the bag?"

"Why were we so cocky?" Spencer groans. "And how ridiculous are we going to look asking for help getting our preschooler to sleep? Everyone else seeking help will be new parents with colicky infants and we're just…"

"We don't need help, I just think… I don't know," Toby finishes lamely. "Our girls were just easier."

"Boys are tougher," Spencer points out. "Everyone says."

"Daddy!"

"Oh my god, kill me," Spencer replies and Toby chuckles. "Please just kill me. I can't survive without sleep."

"Just drink your typical sixteen gallons of coffee and you'll be fine," Toby teases. "Go get him. It's your turn."

"No," She moans, turning into her pillow, her next words muffled. "He called for you."

"He called for you last time and I went!" Toby exclaims. "No getting around this, Spence."

"What if we just ignore him?" Spencer asks. "That sounds awful, I know it does, but… Maybe he'll just go to sleep if we don't indulge his every whim."

"You know what'll happen if we do," Toby disagrees. "He'll end up in bed with us."

"Alright, fine, I give up," She says and, yawning, climbs out of bed. "I'm not coming back until this kid is asleep. Seriously. If I have to read his entire library or sing an entire musical or rock him like a baby, this child is going the fuck to sleep."

Toby laughs and calls to her retreating form, "I believe in you. Good luck!"

It appears she's serious, for she doesn't return for quite some time and he somehow manages to fall asleep in that time. He jolts awake a little after eight, feeling groggy and incredibly guilty for getting rest when he's sure Spencer hasn't, and then, curiously, makes his way to Henry's room, because he's still the sole occupant of their bed even now, hours later.

Pushing open the door to Henry's bedroom, his heart skips a beat at the sight before him. His son is curled up against his mother, his wife has both of her arms tucked protectively around him, and they're both fast asleep in his tiny bed, looking more at peace than Toby has ever seen them.

Okay, so maybe they don't have this parenting thing in the bag. But Toby doesn't think they totally suck at it, either.

"Mom, you're kind of suffocating me."

Spencer loosens her grip on her son, but only slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to turn you into a pancake, I promise."

"I can't breathe," Henry squeaks and then shrugs out of her embrace. "It's two weeks, Mom. It's nothing."

"Easy for you to say," Spencer shakes her head. "You're going to be off having fun. I'm going to be home worried sick."

Henry frowns and adjusts his duffle bag more firmly on his shoulder. "Don't be worried."

"You can tell her that all you want, Hen, but you know she'll worry anyway," Grace tells the eight-year-old, who cheers up just a bit.

"That's true."

"Hey, it's my job," Spencer says and then asks him, "Do you want us to come with you to find your cabin? Help you make your bed or set up your things?"

"No, that's okay," Henry is quick to disagree and, throwing a longing glance over his shoulder, he adds, "I can actually say goodbye right here."

"Oh," Spencer replies, crestfallen. "Okay."

"Bye Henry," Lilly goes first, pulling her brother in for a hug. "You're going to have so much fun. Take a lot of pictures for me, okay? I put an extra camera in your bag- the disposable kind so it's okay if you drop it."

"Hey," Henry grins. "How did you know I might drop it?"

"You're kind of clumsy," Lilly giggles. "But it's okay."

Grace is next and she ruffles his hair in the way she knows he hates. "See you in two weeks, weirdo."

"Bye Grace," Henry replies. "Enjoy the peace and quiet while I'm gone."

"You bet I will," Grace grins. "And you enjoy the crickets and bug juice and poison ivy."

"I will," He laughs. "It's gonna be so fun!"

She chuckles too and they embrace quickly before he moves towards his parents. "Thank you for letting me come to camp even though you didn't want me to go."

"It's not that we didn't want you to go, Hen." Toby corrects. "You're going to have a great time here and I know you'll make a ton of new friends and probably cause some mischief because that's what you do best. It's just that you're still young and this camp's in the woods, two hours away from us, and that's…"

"It just worries us, that's all," Spencer finishes. "But I know it'll be good for you and I know it's what you've wanted for a while, so… Go on an adventure. Have a great time. But please be careful and listen to your counselors and do what you're told to do, okay?"

"I will," Henry nods. "I promise."

He reaches forward to hug Toby first, saying, "Bye Dad."

"I'll see you soon, Hen." Toby hugs back. "I love you. Have an awesome time for me, okay?"

"Okay," He replies automatically and then grins reassuringly at his mother. "It's okay. You can crush my lungs again."

Chuckling, Spencer pulls him back into a tight embrace, kissing his cheek and telling him, "I love you so much and I'm going to miss you like crazy. I know you'll be having too much fun to even think about me, but just humor me, okay?"

"That's not true," He says, his little head shaking. "I'm going to miss you too, Mom."

Tears fill her eyes but she shakes her head, willing them away. Pressing an additional kiss to his cheek, she pulls away to smile brightly at him. "Alright. Get out of here. Go have fun."

He beams at all four of them before picking up his duffle bag, waving one last time and racing off to find his cabin and counselor. The rest of the family watches him go, makes sure he's safe and accounted for, and then heads back to their car to make the journey home. Lilly's the first to comment, saying, "He's so much braver than I am. I would never want to come to sleep away camp and be away from home for two whole weeks."

"I would do it if my friends were doing it too," Grace tells her. "But to come here by myself? No thank you."

Toby wraps an arm around his wife's shoulders and asks, "You okay?"

She nods unconvincingly. "Yeah. I guess I better used to this, huh? Them leaving me? Grace starts college in two years, Lilly won't be long after and then Henry…"

"Hey, it's just summer camp," Toby shrugs. "Worse comes to worst, we can fake an emergency and bring him home early."

Spencer chuckles. "I'm not that selfish."

Toby grins. "You're not selfish at all."

Grace and Lilly talk the entire way home. Spencer sighs and just a few miles from home, she says, "At least he's becoming his own person."

"Henry?" Toby asks and she nods. "Yeah, that he is. A great one. Not that I expected anything less."

"I guess we're doing okay then."

"We're doing more than okay," Toby tells her. "And it's probably a good thing that we're letting him explore different aspects of his personality. Even though our girls would never do this in a million years…"

"He's not like them," Spencer says. "And that's good, too. I love how different they all are. I'm glad we let go of the idea that parents can control what their kids like and don't like."

"Well of course we did," Toby agrees. "We're not our parents."

Spencer chuckles. "You can say that again."

"Today's the day," Toby announces confidently, ignoring the look of disbelief on his wife's face. "I can feel it."

Spencer smirks and adds linguini to the pot of boiling water on the stove. "Whatever you say, babe."

"Dad, make like Elsa and let it go," Lilly replies from the kitchen table, where she's placing silverware beside their plates and glasses.

Toby laughs and replies, "I resent your Frozen reference and I thought you were on my side, here?"

"No! That thing almost killed you and Mom a couple of years ago," The fourteen-year-old shakes her head. "The story of how you got it was nice and all but… It's dead. It's time to say goodbye."

Toby exhales and turns to his wife, teasing, "What have you been telling her?"

Spencer chuckles. "Absolutely nothing. You're the only one still attached to that thing. It's a death trap and hasn't run in years."

"That thing is one of the greatest things you've ever given me-"

"The three kids weren't enough for you?"

"After them, obviously," Toby corrects himself. "But… It's the truck, Spencer."

"Look, I adore how much you love that thing. I really do," Spencer tells him. "It means a lot to me that it means so much to you. But we got in a major car accident because of it a few years ago, it's unreliable as hell, and it's older than all three of us in this room."

Toby heaves a sigh. "I refuse to give up on it. You still have the rocking chair and the Scrabble necklace, don't you?"

Her hands immediately flock to the piece of jewelry around her neck. "That's different. Neither the chair nor the necklace have ever tried to murder us."

"Yeah," Lilly agrees. "And those things are timeless. Trucks aren't, Dad. Sorry to say."

"Mom!" Henry calls, bounding down the stairs. "Will you proofread my essay?"

"Sure," Spencer agrees, bringing the sauce to a simmer and reaching for her son's rough draft. "You finally hashed that out, huh?"

"Ah, Henry," Toby greets his son. "You'll agree with me, right? That I can fix the truck?"

"Dad, that's a hopeless case," The twelve-year-old disagrees. "But that's beside the point. Do you think comparing Macbeth to Ophelia is too preachy?"

"I don't know if preachy's the word," Spencer smirks, beginning to read. "But let's see how you did it."

"Well, I can see I'm alone in this," Toby sighs and the others shoot him a pointed look. "It's fine. I'll prove you all wrong when I get it to run again."

He turns towards the garage and Henry asks, "Why does he love that thing so much anyway?"

"You know the story," Lilly says. "Mom pawned Aunt Melissa's ring to buy it and it was the first time they said 'I love you'. It was so romantic."

"Isn't that kind of like stealing?" Henry asks. "It wasn't your ring and it was really expensive. Couldn't you go to jail for that?"

"It is stealing and yes, it's probably a felony," Spencer says. "Why? Are you going to turn me in?"

"No," Henry chuckles. "I don't want to have to visit you in prison."

"Did you ever tell Aunt Melissa?" Lilly then wonders, reaching into the refrigerator for butter for their Italian bread.

"I did not so please don't ever mention it," Spencer replies. "It's been at least three lifetimes and I'm pretty sure she'd still murder me on the spot if she knew."

"That's pretty stupid for her to still hold a grudge after all these years," Henry says. "She sounds like some of the girls in my school."

"It is kind of immature," Lilly agrees. "Aren't adults supposed to be the mature ones?"

Spencer smirks. "Supposed to be. That's not always the case."

She continues to read through Henry's essay, every so often stirring the pasta sauce so it doesn't burn, as Henry waits expectantly and Lilly adjusts the table setting so that it rests perfectly. After a while, Henry sniffs the air and pulls a face, asking, "Mom, what's burning?"

"Nothing," Spencer shakes her head. "I'm boiling pasta, Henry. It's not complicated."

"No, I smell it too," Lilly then says, standing from her spot at the table. "Something definitely smells like smoke."

"Well, our dinner's perfectly fine, so if it's not that, then…" Spencer trails off and then her eyes widen. "Oh my god."

She turns on her heel at once and rushes to the door that leads to the garage, her children hot on her heels. Whisking it open, her eyes immediately widen upon the sight before her. Toby's coughing and sputtering, waving a greasy rag over the engine in that old tan Chevy truck, which has caught on fire. In a moment, the edge of the rag touches the flames and immediately engulfs; Toby drops it without hesitation and leaps out of the way of the inferno. He hasn't seemed to notice the rest of his family's presence, but Spencer shouts anyway, "What the hell?"

"I'll get the fire extinguisher," Lilly hastily replies and races back into the house.

Henry's just after her, calling, "I'll get some water!"

"Toby," Spencer shrieks and finally, his head turns in her direction. "You're going to set the fucking house on fire!"

"I'm sorry! I don't know what happened!" He shouts back and reaches for the switch to open the garage door so they don't suffocate. "One minute, I was toying with the spark plug and the next…"

"Here!" Lilly returns and shoves the extinguisher into her father's awaiting arms.

The fire is out within moments, leaving behind only a cloud of thick smoke and a charred skeleton of a vehicle, destined never to run again. Henry returns, then, with the water and then frowns, "Oh. I missed the whole thing."

"Get back in the house, please," Spencer states, pushing them back through the doorway. "I don't want you breathing any of this in."

"The pasta's boiling over," Lilly says. "I'll go get it off the stove before we start another fire."

Her brother follows suit and Spencer places the bucket of water he'd brought on the floor of the garage, watching as Toby puts the truck in neutral and backs it out of the garage and onto the driveway. She follows him outside, shivering in the chilly February air, and he doesn't look at her when he says, dejectedly, "I'll take it to the junkyard first thing tomorrow."

"I don't think you'll be able to even drive it," Spencer shakes her head. "You might have to call for a tow."

Toby sighs and nods, hopping up to sit in the bed of the truck, the only part still intact. "I'm sorry. About the fire, I mean."

Spencer joins him, pulling herself into the trunk and sitting beside him so they're touching at the knee. "Are you okay?"

"My hand's a little singed, but I didn't get burned too badly."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

Toby sighs. "It's been with me forever. I guess I just thought… I thought I could always fix it. I thought it would run again. Just once more, you know? So you and I could take one last drive in it. But it couldn't even give me that."

Spencer frowns and she's honestly not quite sure she'd realized how much this truck had meant to him until now. "I'm sorry. I know I tease you all the time for loving this thing and for wanting to fix it up, but even I thought you would."

"No one ever believed in me, you know?" Toby then says. "No one ever thought I could make a living out of carpentry and my dad, most of all, tried to talk me out of it over and over again. Everyone always thought it wouldn't happen or that I shouldn't pursue it. But… you did. You believed in me. You supported me and showed me that it was okay to take a chance on something I loved to do. And this will always be a symbol of that. This truck… It was the first step towards me actually starting the life I wanted to lead. And you helped me get there. Of course, it's also a symbol of our relationship; of our love. Because I knew how I'd been feeling about you for quite a while, at that point, and I was pretty sure I knew how you felt, too, but this… This just proved it."

Spencer shakes her head, framing his face between her hands and telling him sincerely, "You don't need a truck for that."

They kiss lovingly for a few moments before she whispers, "You have to say goodbye. You have to let it go."

"I know," Toby exhales heavily. "I guess it's time."

"But before you do," Spencer asks, peering over her shoulder at the inside of the truck. "How damaged does the bench inside look?"

"Not too bad," Toby shrugs. "Why?"

"You up for one last truck make-out session?" She asks suggestively, her eyebrows rising. "It seems only fitting since that's how we christened it. We should send it away with such as well."

Toby grins and leaps off the truck, reaching for her hand. "You don't have to ask me twice."

It's Christmastime and Toby's on the way to New York to pick up Lilly from her first semester at college when he gets the call.

It comes from Spencer's work phone, which is strange because she never calls from her work phone, and he's immediately on edge. Even more so when he answers and hears nothing but a strange silence on the other end for an extended period of time. "Spence? Are you alright? What's going on? You're starting to scare me."

"Toby…" She finally speaks, trailing off on the other end, and her voice is low and raw, tinged with sadness. "I'm not going to be here when you get home. I have… I have to go to Rosewood."

"Why? What's going on?" He asks and he wishes he could keep the anxiety and dread from his own voice. "Is everything okay?"

"M-my father collapsed at work," Spencer spits out a moment later and he can hear the tears she's fighting and his heart aches. "He was in court and… My mother doesn't know anything yet but I have to be there."

"Okay. Okay, I'm getting Lilly and hopefully I'll be home in time to pick Henry up from practice, but I'll text him and have him get a ride with someone else if I'm not," Toby nods. "Do you want me to come down there? Be with you?"

"I'm okay," She replies but her voice says otherwise. "I'll keep you updated."

"Okay," Toby finds himself repeating. "Keep me posted. I love you."

"Love you too." Spencer says and then the line cuts out.

Though she promises news, he doesn't hear from her again. He tells Lilly by accident; the college freshman already has so much to tell her father, but of course, being the most intuitive, she glances at his face and knows immediately that something isn't right. Her face goes ashen and remains this way the entire drive home and, of course, this is how Henry finds out, too. Toby decides to bite the bullet and texts Grace next, a simple message to keep her grandfather in her thoughts and prayers because he's in the hospital and not doing well. She immediately calls her father and asks if she should change her flight- she's flying in tomorrow, but she can try to get one sooner- and he tells her it won't be necessary; he'd just wanted to make sure she was kept in the loop. Dinner is a tense one that evening, as they're all waiting for that moment, that one single phone call, from the missing member of their family who would hopefully bring good news.

It's long after midnight and both children are asleep when Toby's cell phone finally rings. "Hello?"

He can barely understand the words she's saying because she's crying so incredibly hard. "He's gone. My-my father's gone."

Honestly, he'd expected as much, but it isn't any easier to hear. "Honey, I'm so, so sorry."

"He had a heart attack. They couldn't revive him."

"I'll be there first thing tomorrow, okay?" Toby promises her. "All four of us. I'm getting Grace at the airport and then we'll be there."

It's the quietest, most solemn drive to Rosewood they've ever made. Grace has just returned from visiting a friend she'd made during her semester abroad, but even she doesn't have stories to share. Not today. Lilly's crying silently in the backseat, wiping a tear away every so often and Henry's leaning against the glass window, his face reading so much misery. They hadn't spent a lot of time with their grandparents growing up and it's something Toby now feels incredibly guilty for. They could've made more of an effort to come down here, to visit the elder Hastings', as a few weekends a year plus their annual Poconos trip was hardly enough. However, this didn't stop any of the children from loving Peter as much as grandchildren should love their grandfather and he knows his presence will be greatly missed among them.

There are cars surrounding the Hastings residence and Toby's honestly expected this. They pour out of the vehicle and let themselves into the home, not bothering to knock or ring the bell, and the first person they run into is Veronica. She looks like she hasn't slept in weeks and hasn't eaten either, for that matter, and Lilly is immediately in tears upon the sight of her. "Grandma…"

"Oh sweetheart, hi. How are you?" She folds her into an embrace and holds her other arm out for Grace and Henry, who do not hesitate. "My loves. I am so glad you're all here."

"Are you doing okay, Grandma?" Grace asks next. "I'm so sorry."

"About as well as I can," Veronica nods, her composure just as strong as ever. "It's certainly not what I expected and the timing couldn't have been worse. It won't be a very merry Christmas this year, will it?"

Henry shakes his head. "Do you need anything?"

"No, honey, just you being here is enough," Veronica tells him and when they shrink out of her embrace, she then smiles at the sight of her son-in-law. "Toby."

"Hi," He greets her too and offers her a heartfelt embrace. "I can't imagine what you're going through; what you're feeling."

"No, I imagine you probably could," Veronica disagrees. "You of the all people here would probably understand."

Suddenly, he has flashbacks of his father, growing colder and more distant following the passing of his mother and he has to shake his head, wish them away. "I guess you're right."

"It's alright," Veronica nods. "He'd been feeling ill for a while now. I've got to get things all organized before the ceremony on Tuesday and if I can do it with all these people around then it'll be a miracle."

"Veronica," A relative of Spencer's then calls, poking her head in from the office. "The lawyer wants to know if you can come in today for a reading of Peter's will. Oh, hi Toby, kids."

The kids offer her a wave and forced smiles and Toby nods in response. Veronica, distractedly, replies, "Uh, sure. When?"

"An hour."

"Of course."

"Mom," Melissa says, her voice wavering and tears in her eyes. Her cheeks are red and puffy and it's clear she's been crying for hours. "The florist's here. She wants to talk about the ceremony."

"Hi Aunt Melissa," Henry calls and she shoots them all a watery smile.

"Hi you guys," She steps closer and gives each of them an embrace and a kiss to their crowns. "Hey Toby."

"Melissa," He nods. "How're you holding up?"

She frowns. "Barely."

Veronica runs a hand through her disheveled hair and follows her eldest daughter into the kitchen. "Yeah, sure. Let's take care of that."

She turns back not a moment later to tell Toby, "She's upstairs going through Peter's things."

How she could've answered Toby's unanswered question is beyond him, but he nods his gratitude anyway. "Thank you."

To his children, he pleads, "Can I have a moment alone with your mother? Just a minute; I know you guys are dying to see her."

Grace nods her agreement. "Yeah. It's okay. We'll help Grandma."

Henry adds, "Aunt Melissa, too."

It doesn't take long to find her; she's in her parents' bedroom, placing some items into a box labeled 'Keep' and others into one labeled 'Give Away.' His heart aches at the intensity and purpose with which she works, trying so desperately to keep her emotions at bay. "Spencer…"

At her name, she whirls around and at the sight of him, she loses all composure. He holds his arms out to her, welcoming her grief, and she folds herself into his body, crumbling and dissolving into a mess of tears. Her entire body sags with sadness, her shoulders shake with sobs, and he holds her tighter, presses kisses into her hair every so often, and cries with her. Soft tears are rolling down his own cheeks, because he's been here; he knows exactly how it feels to lose a parent and no one had been there, no one had listened to him vent his feelings, no one had held him when he cried, and he won't let that happen to his wife, to the woman he loves most in this world.

When she pulls away, her eyes are bloodshot and her nose is running and he's sure this isn't the first time she's broken down since the news hit. "Are the kids here?"

"Downstairs," Toby replies quietly. "I asked them to give us some space for a bit because I didn't know which state I'd be finding you in. Although, I had a pretty good idea."

"Were you right?" She asks and he frowns.

"Unfortunately," He sighs and rubs her arms. "Did you see him? Did you get to say goodbye?"

"They brought us in to see his body after… after he died," Spencer hiccups, her voice catching on that final word. "He looked so… He didn't look like my father. I kissed him goodbye and he was already cold."

"Your mother says the ceremony's Tuesday?" Toby asks and Spencer nods.

"She wanted it tomorrow, but couldn't get the church," Spencer says. "She wants it to be over. I guess I can't blame her."

Toby presses another kiss to her temple, murmuring, "Are you alright?"

"We never got along, my father and I," Spencer smiles mirthlessly. "My mother always said it was because we were so alike, I was my father's daughter, and I hated that. I didn't want to be lumped together with him. I wanted to be my own person."

"You are. You're an amazing person." Toby tells her. "Your dad was proud of you. I know he was."

"You know what the last thing he said to me was?" Spencer asks and when Toby shakes his head, she continues. "He called me last week and asked what I wanted for Christmas. I told him he didn't have to get me anything. But he insisted; he said, what's Christmas without a gift, Spence? Humor me, champ. I'm sure you can think of something. And I told him seeing him was enough because we never got to see enough of each other as it was and he said, That's my New Year's resolution. To visit more. But we'll never get to the New Year without passing Christmas first and I can't just get you nothing. And I said, Gifts are for kids, Dad. And he said, Yeah. And you're mine. You've always been my little girl and you'll always be."

Toby smiles and Spencer wipes tears from her eyes, reaching towards her father's bedside table. "Want to see what I just found?"

He nods and she pulls a small box from the drawer, tied with a bow. The tag on the front reads, To Spencer, love Dad. "Open it."

And when he does, Toby finds about a dozen chocolates resting inside. Confused, he asks, "He ended up getting you chocolate?"

"They're buttercreams," Spencer explains and tears are once more rolling down her cheeks. "He used to get them for me all the time when I was a kid. For good grades, for winning a game, or even just because. They were my favorite. And he still remembered that, even now, after all these years."

She lets out a sob and Toby gently sets the box of chocolates aside, pulling her back against his chest. "I know this is going to be difficult. Believe me, I know how you're feeling right now. I know how much this sucks. And I wish I could tell you that it eventually stops hurting. It doesn't. But he loved you so much and I know that you loved him. And that's what you're going to have to remember when things get really, really tough. That even though you'll miss him, he would've wanted you to continue your life and not get stuck on the morbid details. And I'm here for you, always, as well. If you ever need to cry or vent or rant or just let it all out, you don't have to do it alone. You're never alone. Not even for a second."

She merely nods against him and then, there's a knock at the door. Grace's head pokes in, then, and she asks, "Is it okay if we come in now?"

Toby nods, smiling the tiniest bit, and Spencer looks almost hopeful at the sight of her children. "Grace. Oh my god. Come here! Come give me a hug."

She does so without hesitation and Lilly and Henry are soon to follow. Spencer wraps all three of them into her arms, much more difficult now that they're older and taller than the last time they'd done this, and she closes her eyes, breathing deeply in an attempt to control her emotions. "I love all three of you so much."

"Love you too, Mom," Henry murmurs and presses a kiss to her cheek.

"Are you going to be okay?" Lilly asks, tears still pouring down her own cheeks.

"I think I will," Spencer nods slowly. "I have you guys, don't I?"

Toby smiles at this and when Spencer looks up and meets his eyes, he does his best to convey to her that this is exactly what he'd been talking about. She'll never be alone, not as long as she has her family, her loving husband and three beautiful children, to help her through her grief, help her remember, and help her let go.

The doorbell rings and Spencer has to pretend she hasn't been standing by the window, anxiously awaiting her daughter's arrival.

"What the heck are you doing ringing the bell, Lil?" Spencer asks, grinning, as she opens the door to allow her middle child entry. "You've lived here your whole life."

"I don't know!" She shrugs, chuckling. "I thought it would be weird if I just walked in."

"Oh, nonsense. This will forever be your home," Spencer shakes her head, collecting her daughter in an embrace and sighing complacently. "How was the drive up? Not too bad?"

"No, it was fine," Lilly agrees, nodding and not letting go. "I'm just glad I could get away early! The roads are going to be packed this weekend because of the holiday and Sam was freaking out because he didn't want me to drive alone."

"Speaking of Sam…" Spencer beams, pulling back to demand, "Let me see it!"

"Oh," Lilly blushes and holds her hand out for her mother to see, her brand new sparkling engagement ring glistening in the early morning sunlight. "What do you think?"

"Are you kidding? It's gorgeous," Spencer admires. "I can't believe it. I can't believe I'm going to have two married kids."

Lilly nods and exhales a bit anxiously. "You don't think it's too soon? I mean, I'm not even out of school yet."

"You're graduating in May," Her mother replies. "Do you think it's too soon?"

"No," Lilly admits. "I love Sam. We've been dating forever and… I've always known he was the one I wanted to be with the rest of my life."

"Yeah," Spencer grins with pride. "I know that feeling."

From the kitchen, Toby appears and a warm smile comes over his face, excitement in his eyes. "Is that my Lilly Pad? Get over here, sunshine."

"Hi Daddy," Lilly beams and wraps her arms around him in an embrace. "It's good to be home. I missed you guys."

"We missed you, too. I know you're busy with senior year and all that, but you could come home once in a while, you know?" Toby teases and kisses her crown. When Lilly nods and they pull back, he looks her over and comments, "Hold on. There's something different."

"I got a haircut," She shrugs. "Thought about getting bangs but I figured they'd look terrible on my face."

"No, that's not it," Toby considers and then takes her by the hand, exclaiming, "It must be the continent you have on your finger! Spence, you think it's too warm to go ice skating on this rock later?"

Spencer laughs wholeheartedly and Lilly flushes crimson. "Dad, it's not that big."

"Better take it off before you go swimming. You'll sink straight to the bottom."

"Oh my god," Lilly shakes her head, grinning. "So where's Henry? He's home this week too, right?"

"Not without complaint," Spencer shakes her head. "His spring break plans were foiled by a cheating girlfriend and a betraying roommate. He's supposed to be in Miami this week with a bunch of his friends and he will not let us forget it."

"That sucks," Lilly frowns. "And what about Grace?"

"She's running late, but she's on her way," Toby fills in. "She just texted me. But come in! Come in! Come have some coffee."

Lilly asks hesitantly, "Did you make it, Dad?"

"Yeah," Toby smirks, bemused. "Why?"

Lilly shakes her head, innocently glancing toward her mother. "No reason."

Spencer rolls her eyes. "Amateurs."

In mere moments, Henry rolls out of bed to join the rest of his family for breakfast, his entire mood completely turning around the moment he spots his sister. They embrace and it makes Spencer's entire heart swell with pride. When Grace arrives, the three immediately take their usual seats around the kitchen table and launch into a conversation with jests and teasing just like the good old days. Toby places a few plates on the table, full of pancakes, bacon and fruit- their Saturday tradition- and Spencer merely watches their children, just watches, as they laugh and share stories like they've never been apart. It's crazy to see them, now; Grace is twenty-seven, married, and working for a publishing company, Lilly is nearly twenty-one, almost a college graduate and destined for her own wedding, soon and Henry, their mischievous baby boy, is now nineteen, a college sophomore who towers over both of his parents and still brings them to their knees with his kindness, sense of humor and generosity. Some days, it feels like ages and ages from where they began and others, like today, Spencer finds herself wondering where all the time has gone.

"Ew," Grace scrunches her nose, growing a bit pale. "Please keep this bacon far, far away from me."

"Oh god," Henry frowns. "You're not going to pull a Harper and go vegan, are you?"

"She's vegetarian, first of all," Grace smirks. "And no, I'm not, but it's just… It's greasy and disgusting."

"But it's tradition," Lilly says. "Pancake Saturdays always have bacon."

Grace grows paler still and shakes her head. "No thank you."

Curious, Spencer asks, "You feeling okay?"

"Sure," She merely nods and pushes the plate closer to Henry. "So what else is new? Lilly, tell me more about this wedding! I'm so excited."

"Well, we haven't really talked about it. But we're thinking maybe a fall wedding, because we met on the first day of kindergarten, in September," Lilly smiles. "And you'll be my maid of honor, right?"

"Are you kidding? I'd be honored!" Grace squeals. "I love weddings."

"You used to love bacon," Henry points out and both of his parents chuckle as Grace purses her lips. "Tell me more about how much you hate it."

"No."

"Come on," Henry grins. "Is it the fat? It's the fat, isn't it? Or it's because sometimes it's chewy or burnt because no one can ever cook it perfectly?"

"Henry, please stop," Grace begs. "You making me want to gag."

"Why?" Henry prods further. "It's just a little meat."

"Meat makes me want to vomit."

"Wait a minute. When meat made me want to vomit…" Spencer trails off and then gasps, tears coming to her eyes. "Grace… Henry! Did you know about this?"

Henry merely shrugs, his grin even wider, as Lilly asks, "Know about what?"

"Yeah, what's going on?" Toby wonders. "I'm totally lost."

"Hey, Grace only told me by accident and she swore me to secrecy," Henry replies. "But if there's one thing I remember you guys always saying when we were kids, it's that families don't keep secrets. They're basically lies. Remember, Grace?"

"Unbelievable," Grace shakes her head. "All the rules you broke as a kid and this is the one you want to keep?"

"Wait, are you really mad at me?" Henry wonders. "I don't want you to be. I thought you'd… I don't know. It's Mom and Dad. You're not on trial."

Grace shakes her head, a slow smile eventually blooming. "I'm not mad at you, weirdo. But I wanted to be the one to tell them."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Grace," Spencer now has tears rolling down her cheeks. "Is it true?"

Toby and Lilly once more share a glance before asking, "Is what true?"

"Well, I really was going to tell you myself and not until the three-month mark, when it's safe, and definitely not today, because I didn't want to steal Lilly's thunder, but…" Grace inhales a deep breath. "I'm pregnant. Zach and I are going to have a baby."

"Oh my god, what?" Lilly shrieks. "Congratulations!"

"Grace!" Toby exclaims. "My baby's going to have a baby."

"I'm sorry, Lilly," Grace pleads again. "I really wanted this morning to be about you and-"

"Are you kidding? This is the best news!" Lilly shakes her head. "I'm going to be an aunt. As far as I'm concerned, we can share the thunder."

Grace laughs then and Henry adds, "This kid is going to be so cool. He's going to learn everything from his Uncle Henry and you won't even know what hit you, Grace."

She smirks. "Great."

Spencer glances at her husband and asks, "Can you believe this?"

"I can't," He replies genuinely. "There's going to be another little one running around soon. It's been so long since we've had a baby around."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to become a grandmother," Spencer says. "But I didn't think I was ready to be a parent either and that ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me."

Grace beams at her mother, Henry and Lilly following suit, their tiny babies now grown adults and soon to have babies of their own. Spencer can't help but feel entirely and utterly blessed.

Veronica Hastings passes away a few days after Lilly's twenty-first birthday, quietly and peacefully in her sleep. Spencer is, of course, understandably distraught. She and Melissa plan and execute a beautiful ceremony and Toby sticks to his wife's side like glue. He's extremely worried about her state of mind in the days that follow; after they lay Veronica to rest, right beside Peter, they travel home from Rosewood where Spencer asks for an extra week off work and they grant her request, allowing her all the time she needs. Toby asks if she'd like him to do the same, stay home with her so she doesn't have to grieve alone, but she solemnly tells him she'll be okay, that she doesn't need to be coddled, and urges him to get back to work.

However, things change. The original cause of Veronica's death had been old age; the medical examiner had seen nothing out of the ordinary and had chalked her demise up to natural causes, but the autopsy results showed something a little bit different. Veronica had had a very large, very malignant tumor in her left breast that had then metastasized and spread to her lungs, ultimately killing her. A quick conversation with her primary care physician confirmed that Veronica had been battling cancer for over a year and even he seemed surprised that none of her family had known that. He then suggests that both Melissa and Spencer visit their own physicians for mammograms, because it's highly likely that the type of cancer Veronica had suffered from could be hereditary. It's a simple test, he says, to see if either of the girls have the "breast cancer gene," or the flaw in their DNA that could pose a higher risk for breast and ovarian cancer passed down from their mother. Melissa goes forth and makes both herself and Spencer an appointment. Spencer hesitates and considers bailing, afraid of the outcome Toby's sure, but in this case, no news certainly isn't good news, and eventually, she decides to go.

And perhaps it's psychosomatic, but in the week leading up to the blood test and mammogram, Spencer starts to complain of actually feeling ill and Toby's pretty sure he doesn't sleep for even a second. She gets sick to her stomach, she has awful, brain-splitting headaches, her breathing labors, her chest hurts, she's exhausted all the time… And Toby watches this, Toby watches all of this, and suddenly, they aren't the sixteen and seventeen-year-olds they were when they first starting dating. Suddenly, they aren't immortal, they aren't young anymore, and the prospect of one of them dying becomes very, very real. The night before her test, as she sleeps somewhat restlessly beside him, Toby lies awake, just staring at her, watching her eyelids flutter and her chest rise and fall, and tries very, very hard not to picture his life without her. He fails. His heart gives an unwanted, painful tug as he realizes that someday- it could be in thirty years, it could be tomorrow- they're both going to die and one of them is going to go first. One of them is going to leave the other behind. And Toby's not ready to live a life without her. He imagines walking around this big, lonely, empty house, he imagines coming home and cooking a meal for one, climbing into an empty bed… and tears come to his eyes. No. Why are you doing this to yourself? She's right here, she's fine, and so are you. It doesn't work. He can't stop picturing the broken, empty future without her; their kids, devastated and distraught over the loss of the woman who'd given them life, grandkids she'd never know, weddings and Christmases and reunions she'd miss out on. He starts when he realizes his pillow is wet and is utterly unsurprised when he realizes those tears stinging his eyes are now streaming down his face.

"Spencer…" Toby speaks, his voice low and guttural, to her unconscious form. "This whole thing sucks. It just sucks, I mean… First your dad and now your mom and you and… It's not fair that this is happening. It's not fair to you; you've already suffered so much and so much is going on, I mean Lilly's getting married next month. Grace is having a baby; our first grandchild. Henry… Well, he's all over the place, but he needs you. The girls need you… I need you."

He scoots closer, taking her into his arms and she exhales, murmuring something in her sleep. "You promised, remember? We made a promise to each other that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together; long, happy, healthy lives. We swore we wouldn't… we wouldn't leave until it's our time. It's not your time, Spencer. It's not. Don't leave me."

He doesn't realize she's awake until she cups his cheek, swiping his tears away, and when he meets her eyes, they're swimming in tears, too. "I won't. I'm not going anywhere, Toby."

"How do you know?" He wonders. "How can you be sure?"

"I've never quit anything; not in my life," Spencer says. "I'm not about to start now."

Toby swallows hard, past the golf ball-sized lump in his throat. "Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?"

"You sure you can handle that?" She asks and takes a deep breath when he nods. "Then yeah, I'd like that."

He leans closer and presses the tiniest, feather-light kiss on her forehead, whispering, "I'm completely terrified."

"I am, too," She admits quietly. "But I'm not my mother. If… If worse comes to worst tomorrow, I'll get treatment. I'll do anything I have to. I'm not ready to go; not yet. I want to be there when my daughter walks down the aisle and my son, too. I want to meet my grandchildren. I want at least another thirty, preferably forty years with you. I want to die when I'm a hundred and wrinkly and with you by my side, not… Not now. Not like this."

"Should we…" Toby trails off. "Should we tell them? Grace, Lilly, and Henry?"

"No. No, God, I don't want to worry them," Spencer disagrees. "Not yet. Not until they have something to worry about."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make this harder for you. I'm really not."

She shakes her head, framing his face in both her hands. "You're not. You aren't, I promise."

"I just love you," He exhales heavily. "I just love you so much and I'm fucking scared of losing you."

She says nothing at first, just pulls him closer, closer still, until his head rests upon her collarbone and her fingers are in his hair. She presses kiss after kiss all over every inch of him, before whispering, "I love you too. I love you so, so much."

She falls asleep again not long after. Toby wishes he could. He lies awake the rest of the night, dresses with red, sleep-deprived eyes and exhausted ministrations, and nods wordlessly when Spencer asks if he wants her to drive. He's not sure he could operate a motor vehicle right now; he's feeling much too anxious and much too nauseous to even entertain the idea. Spencer's hands are shaking when she reaches to turn the wipers on, but otherwise, she's calm. They sit in the waiting room and when the nurse calls her back, he can't go with her. Instead, he drums his fingers anxiously on his knee, trying not to pay attention to the death and destruction on the news on the television in the waiting room, and when she returns she looks neither thrilled nor distressed. She says they're awaiting the results and wait they do; it's nearly an hour before the doctor calls them both back to the exam room once more and Toby doesn't hesitate to follow her this time.

All tests are negative and she's completely clear, completely healthy. Toby lets out the breath he'd been holding all week and it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from his shoulders. And this is when Spencer cries, when she finally breaks down, and the doctor pats her arm gently and offers them a moment with the good news. She's wiping furiously at her eyes a moment later, apologizing profusely to her husband, who's immediately shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just… It could've been so much worse; so awful. And it's not. It's not!"

"It's not," He echoes. "It's okay. You're okay."

"Oh my god," She exclaims and she's both laughing and crying now and they're both a mess. She throws her arms around him, holding him tight. "I love you. Oh god. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," He assures her and he's not sure he'll ever stop doing so. He doesn't want to ever let her go, but he must look her in the eye, must acknowledge what they almost faced. She looks inquisitive and he merely says, "I almost lost you."

Spencer shakes her head and kisses his lips chastely. "You could never lose me."

"I put a list of recipes in that red binder of yours; the one you used for history last year? There are step by step instructions so you don't set fire to your new place."

"It's okay. I don't burn everything. Just the cookies that one time."

"My cookie sheets are still charred."

"I'll buy new ones!"

"You keep saying that…"

Henry rolls his eyes, but there's a smile adorning his face. "It's alright, Ma. I can still come by on laundry day if you're going to miss that."

Spencer pulls a face. "I'm not going to miss that. And don't call me 'ma.' Makes me feel about a hundred."

"Sorry," He grins. "I forgot about how weird you get about that word."

"Do you need anything else?" Toby asks. "I packed my extra toolbox just in case. You said your roommates are incompetent when it comes to being handy around the house, so I'd like you to be prepared, at least."

"Thanks Dad," Henry replies gratefully. "Yeah, thankfully you taught me everything you know or I else I'd be so screwed. Danny doesn't even know how to put IKEA furniture together, let alone build his own shit. And they come with instructions!"

His parents chuckle and Toby says, "Well, I don't have to worry about that with you, thankfully."

Spencer sighs and says, "Well… I guess you should go."

"Yeah, I do have to get to the leasing office to pick up my key before they close," Henry nods. "But we're having dinner with Zach and Grace tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," Toby nods. "They found out the sex of the baby this morning. We'll find out then, I guess. It's absolutely killing your mother."

"I don't know why she thought it was a good idea to keep this a secret from me," Spencer shakes her head. "She knows what this does to me."

"I mean, it doesn't really matter."

"No, it doesn't. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, but…" Spencer sighs. "She knows. So I want to know. I bet she told Lilly."

"How could Lilly find out? She and Sam are honeymooning in the Caribbean."

"Still! I'm sure she found a way!"

"You wouldn't let us find out," Toby points out and she bites her lip.

"Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Hey, what's that saying?" Henry teases. "Fight like a… what? An old married couple?"

"Ha, ha, ha," Spencer shakes her head. "Come here. Give me a hug."

Henry obliges, pulling his mother in for an embrace. "Yes, shorty."

"Hen, don't call me that, either."

"I've been taller than you since I was in high school."

"Thank you for reminding me," Spencer says, holding him closer. "I don't care if you continue to grow until you're ten feet tall, you'll always be my baby boy."

"Gross."

"Not gross," She disagrees. "I can't believe you're leaving us!"

"Mom," Henry shakes his head, pulling away to give her a kiss. "It's only a semester. The complex is only two streets away. I've got an internship in the building next to yours."

Spencer purses her lips. "Still. You're not going to live under my roof anymore."

"You're the last one to leave the nest," Toby frowns as he, too, collects his son in an embrace. "You've got to understand how much this sucks for us."

"I do. I get it," Henry nods. "But I'll be back. It's only a six-month lease and maybe they're terrible roommates who aren't clean or have loud sex. Then I'll be back."

Toby chuckles. "You'll always be welcome."

"Yeah," Spencer agrees. "That bedroom upstairs will always be yours."

He grins and hugs and kisses both of them one more time before bidding them farewell and heading for his car. They follow him out, wish him luck, profess their love and then watch as his sleek car slips down the road and out of sight. Spencer turns to her husband, tears in her eyes, and says, "He's gone."

"Yeah," He frowns. "They're all gone."

Spencer wordlessly takes his hand and the two stroll around the driveway towards the back of the house. The porch overlooks the pool and grill, where countless pool parties and backyard barbecues have been held, and she takes a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions at bay. "What do we even do now?"

Toby laughs. "I have no idea. We went from newlyweds to parents in the span of nine months- literally. We never had time to just… be us."

"Well we do now," Spencer grins. "We can do all the things we always dreamed of doing, right?"

"Yeah," He agrees. "We can go and travel the world. Have dates every single night. Take long evening walks. Sleep in or stay in bed all day together."

"Have sex in every room of the house," Spencer adds and Toby chuckles. "What? Don't tell me you weren't thinking it."

"I was getting there," He admits. "I am going to miss all the little things, though. Reading them bedtime stories and picking them up from school to hear all about their days and Friday night movie nights on the couch with a fire and s'mores."

"Saturday morning pancakes," Spencer adds, suddenly filled with sadness and nostalgia. "Cuddling in bed with them on cold snowy mornings. Apple picking and family vacations and teaching them to walk, talk, read, tie their shoes… It's been a hell of a ride."

"Yeah, it definitely has," Toby agrees. "It'll be an interesting adjustment, now, to say the least."

Spencer's phone buzzes in her pocket then and, startled, she jumps to answer it. It's a text from Grace reading, Keeping this a secret feels like a punishable offense. It's a boy. Call me if you want to talk- I know Henry left today and I want to make sure you're okay. Love you and Dad!

She grins then and tips the phone towards Toby to read too. "However, the future's looking pretty bright, too."

Toby beams. "A boy. We're having a grandson!"

"Oh my god," Spencer shakes her head in disbelief. "This is so incredible. I can hardly wait."

"You know what?" Toby decides. "This house isn't ever going to actually be empty. Because you know they'll be here all the time."

"Exactly," Spencer agrees. "And they'll bring their families, too. We'll have Grace, Zach and their little boy. Lilly, Sam and any children they have. Henry and whomever he decides to settle down with in the future. Our house is going to be filled with people, with love and with happiness."

"And with new memories," Toby says. "Not any more or less special than the old ones. The only time it might be a little lonely is when they're back home and it's just you and I."

"Lonely? That doesn't sound very lonely to me," Spencer disagrees. "You've always been all I've ever needed, Toby. And that's not going to change now."

He grins. "I love you."

"I love you, too," She professes and kisses him languidly. "Look at this. Look at everything we've done together; everything we've made and everything we've accomplished."

Toby nods. "See what happens when you never give up? When you have a little faith that things will turn out alright?"

"Yes," Spencer agrees. "Eventually, despite all signs of the opposite, they do."