A/N: When I mention a new day, I will put the chapter title that the Autobots went through (eg, Jazzman begins) so you can understand the sequence of days better. THIS IS IMPORTANT! Or else you will be like 'huh?' at some points. It will be the same layout for 2 chapters after this one, and then after that it will be normal. YOU ALL KNOW THE DISCLAIMERS! I wish I owned Transformers :(

Of Femmes and Sparklings – Chapter 25 – Decepticon Diaries: Starscream

Day One – After 'Aftermath'

If I could scream in a journal (I am NOT calling this datapad a diary), I would. But I think I've done enough for today, my vocaliser is starting to scratch.

BUT I WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE I'M A FEMME! THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME!

I suppose I should write it all down. Just as a reminder to add fuel to my fire to extract my revenge. Yesterday, I was still crowing about my victory with the virus from the Autobot femmes. I was a mech. Then I wake up this morning…only to discover they turned my own virus against me and turned me into a femme!

I've even got the interfacing components!

…frag, slag, and all the rest! All the way to Vector Sigma!

I could have killed Skywarp today. The little fraggin' toad kept teasing me by whistling and saying how 'pretty' I was compared to Slipstream (and I'm not saying I'm not, it's just Skywarp shouldn't be so obnoxious). At least Thundercracker gave me some support. He won trinemate of the day today (-_-).

Oh, and let's not forget the little thing of finding out I'm the new Seeker Regina. Pit, why me? Skywarp doesn't really know all the requirements of it, but Thundercracker does. It's more than being the ruler of Vos (when we defeat the Autobots, I will raise Vos up and rule), it's being the caretaker, the rulemaker, and the sparker. Yeah, that's right, the Seeker Regina has to be sparked up. Tradition states that the Regina must spark at least one trine in her reign, as well as other sparklings. Also, when bonded couples who couldn't produce sparklings themselves or single bots wanted a creation, the Seeker Regina also appealed to the priests of the temple of the Allspark and requested permission for those bots to gain a creation via the Allspark.

BUT I DON'T WANNA BE SPARKED UP!

This stupid virus means I have to bond with someone and have little baby Cons with them! Who the FRAG would I have to choose? Everyone on this base is nixed (Cracker and Warp even more so – they've had secret lovers for AGES), they are all idiots or brutes.

Frag it, it's an honour, really, to be Seeker Regina, but I'm still thinking like I'm a mech! Hook said my systems will fully synch by late tomorrow, but it's still so….so…awkward!

Especially when Megatron came in the room and saw me as a femme for the first time. Beyond awkwardness.

At least there was one thing I can get a kick out of…Soundwave fainting from the fact I was a femme. Ha! I wish I had a datacapture of that moment.

…

…On another, more serious note, sometimes with situations like these, I keep forgetting how young I am. How inexperienced I am. I may be the SIC and Aerial Commander, but I am younger than approximately 85% of the Decepticon army. In a way, I'm glad Soundwave made the command element do these journals. It does help (NOT that I'd let him know that) to get things out. Calm down slightly.

I can't change back, no matter how much I wish.

I should have never invented that virus in the first place.

Day Two – While 'Jazzman Begins'

Oh, this situation just keeps getting better and better! Thundercracker and Skywarp cornered me before I went to go and get my morning energon – it turns out I wasn't the only one who got infected with the virus. Slipstream (ha, she won't like that), Flamewar and Shadow Striker got it too. And you know those secret lovers that I mentioned yesterday? Well, now because of this, Thundercracker has bonded to Flamewar and Shadow Striker to Skywarp. I've known though all along. They have done such a good job of keeping their relationships a secret from the rest of the army. And they are built on substance. Actually, now that I think about it, Thundercracker and Flamewar have been together since the beginning of the war! 'Warp and Striker have been together for about a quarter of that time. I know they love each other.

Oh yes, that dreaded 'L-word.' Well believe me, it's true. Not soft and sappy like I've seen some of those Autobots (please insert gagging motion here) do, but it's a love based on strength and respect about what the other can do. Rare in the Decepticon army, but doable.

Ha, I should be so lucky.

Anyway, my trinemates told me that they've bonded and their partners are now expecting sparklings. I also know that Slipstream made it an order to terminate the sparklings once they have been formed. Autobots think that Megatron and I are the most terrifying and horrible things in the universe? Oh no, I usually concede defeat when Slipstream makes an order such as this. She is the most manipulative and evil femme I've ever met, and that is saying something.

I'm no avatar of Primus, but to order to terminate a sparkling (especially when they could grow up to be Decepticons) is cold. I wonder if my cousin even has a spark sometimes.

I, however, want to see those sparklings live. They are the new generation of mighty and glorious Decepticons.

And I could expose Slipstream's order - being a higher rank than her - , but then that would also expose my trinemates and their bondmates – which I cannot do on any terms. Those two mechs (as annoying as they can be sometimes) have had my back for many years. I have some loyalty in me. I will protect them with my silence.

Now, back to me and my day. Note to self: when I get weapons systems back, jam my null ray up Motormasters aft and fire at full power.

Seriously, does he have to go after everything that has a port and walks? Why can't he just use his hand like many other mechs? Seems to work for everyone else…but no, not the most ignoramus idiot in the whole army and his little gang of wimps have to go after the real thing, and keep trying after someone says 'no.'

What happened? You may ask this journal.

Well, after my trinemates information, I went to go get my morning energon. Even though I am a femme now, I have a right as the SIC to do basically anything I want – including getting my fuel. On the way, I got wide stares, crude whistles and the occasional remark. I ignored them, they were not important.

I had just got my cube and was sitting at a table sipping my ration (I thought Megatron was watching me as I did this), when the idiot of a stunticon leader came and sat next to me. TO ME! The mech (femme) who he would never agree with.

And then the idiot had to pull me into his lap…ha, well I showed him. I need to draw up schematics to get an amplifier for my screams so that they can knock a mech out, not just deafen them (Motormaster and Skywarp). I'll have to ask the idiot later…how does it feel to get a scorching hot thruster to the face? And if I didn't know better, I could have sworn that Megatron was trying not to smile as I left.

Thundercracker caught up with me as I left – he wanted to make sure I was ok. It's nice of him. He's such a strong, silent mech, only the bare few know he's actually very protective about those he cares about. I re-assured him. I am actually more worried for him and Flamewar. He told me that she wants the sparkling to live, same as him, but they know they won't be able to hide it from Slipstream once the sparkling onlines. I shudder to think what Slipstream would do.

Speaking of Slipstream…I haven't seen her or Soundwave today. What's up with that? They hate each other, so they can't possibly be in each other's company but still…something is suspicious about it.

As for the rest of the day…I was so bored. I have nothing to do.

Day Three – During Gladiators and Healing Sparks

Deep breath. Deep, deep breath…stop freaking out, stop freaking out, STOP FREAKING OUT!

So not working. So sarcasm is my tool of choice. Maybe.

Well, today I almost had my first sexual experience as a femme. Yeah! Fun! N.O.T.!

I can't believe that Motormaster would actually come after me! I thought he got the message yesterday to back the frag off!

My hands are still shaking. WHY ARE THEY STILL SHAKING!

Must breathe…breathe…ok, maybe I'll be ready to write this down.

I was doing a job (finally, my oh so mighty leader realised that I needed something to do), just going through the spare ammo in one of the lower weapons lockers, when I heard the door open. I had left it without locking it, thinking that no one would come down here to see me, so I needn't have worried about it. Or I shouldn't of anyway. I heard footsteps, and was almost finished counting a crate of cluster bombs when I felt a hand grab my wing and slam me to the nearest wall.

I was so disoriented, I almost didn't hear a deep, gravelly voice growl, "Pin her arms and legs. DO IT! Or I take my sword to your energon lines!"

Motormaster and his band of merry idiots.

Said merry idiots did as they were bid, grabbing my arms and legs and holding them in place while I still struggled to get oriented. When my fuzzy vision finally cleared, I was greeted with Motormasters ugly visage, mere feet from my own faceplate. He was smirking, licking his lips. And then I realised where his gaze was. On my cockpit and breastplates. One thing was for sure, I did not like that look on his face. He reached forward to touch my body, frozen by fear – a fear I did even know I could have, and I did the only thing I could do.

My famous scream.

Amping my vocaliser as far as it could go, I screamed shrilly, hoping to deafen the Stunticon team so I could wriggle out of their grimy grasp and escape. I trashed and kicked out, but realised they weren't letting go. They were all cringing in pain as my scream descended on their audios, but they held fast much to my displeasure. I spat at Motormaster, and screamed once again, trying desperately to get out of there. I ignited my thrusters, but still they didn't let go.

Fear, like a black wave of cold oil, crashed over my spark, swamping me in despair. They were going to do this to me…Motormaster really wanted to take me! He didn't care about the consequences!

I felt a little pity for his team. They looked like they wished nothing more than to let me go, but the threat from their leader kept them frozen in place…like me.

I felt a hand cover my still shrieking mouth, and the tiny inkling of hope I had disappeared. No one would be able to hear me now. I felt the brute reach around my helm and turn off my comm.-link by the manual switch. I trembled in fear. I saw him grin and one hand gripped the top of my hip hard, denting the crimson metal. My optics widened as he leant forward to whisper in my audio as he ground his lower half against me, "When I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you had been nice to me yesterday air commander. I coulda made you feel good. But no, I'm going to enjoy this. And then after, if I'm feeling generous, my gestalt can take you, one by one, or two at a time, while I watch and laugh. What do you think about that?"

I almost broke down crying in fear when I saw something behind Motormaster that made my spark swell with joy. Megatron was in the doorway, an expression of disgust on his faceplates. I didn't care that I usually didn't like my leader and tried to get rid of him on a weekly basis, I was SO relieved to see him. He seemed at the time like Primus himself to my optics.

I saw the murderous gleam in his optics and heard the hum of his fusion cannon.

They were so going to get their afts kicked.

What happened next was nothing short of amazing. Megatron, with pin point accuracy, took out the four mechs holding me down, before he leaped forward with a roar, grabbing Motormaster by his neck to throw him to the far side of the room. And let me tell you, that's not an easy feat, Motormaster is as heavy as they come. I looked on in half-admiration and half-fear as Megatron attacked him, using his bare hands to pummel and punch every inch of Motormaster as he could as the brute tried to explain his actions.

I caught a few snippets, such as: 'My Lord, it was a game,' and, 'It was just a prank, a bit of fun on the traitor!'

I don't think Megatron heard, he snarled and continued methodically to break every bit of the mech beneath him he could reach. I heard the snapping of metal plates, and flinched as Megatron tore Motormaster's legs off, but couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for the dark mech. He deserved it for what he had been about to do to me. I realised I was still trembling and hugging myself now, stroking my own cockpit to calm me down.

It seemed like Megatron was done, as he stood up and fired one concentrated blast at Motormaster's head. He was never going to look the same again. Megatron's hands were partially covered in mech fluid, and I had a sudden epiphany like moment.

Megatron, the mech who claimed to hate me and I him, had just rescued me. Rescued…me…took on a whole gestalt with such efficiency…in such an awe-inspiring manner that I couldn't help but be grateful to my leader. His large silver frame turned to face me, and I shakily stepped towards him. There were no words. I can't believe I went so far as to wrap my arms around him in a crushing hug. I felt safe for once. Protected and filled with gratitude (this disturbs me now) like never before. He patted me awkwardly (at least he didn't push me to the ground) and I looked up at him and mumbled "Thanks…rust bucket."

I left, hoping that he wouldn't ridicule my actions later. It took strength to hug him and thank him. It felt weird.

Oh good, my hands have stopped shaking.

Day Four – During 'Party'

I felt like a pathetic turbo-pup today, following Megatron around like he was my master. But I was scared after the events of yesterday. And he protected me as insane as that was.

Urgh, I don't want to write about how pathetic I am. At least I didn't get any rape attempts today.

Day Five – During 'Mother Nature'

I don't know what possessed me to go near the Autobot base. I don't know what possessed me to follow the Autobots near that valley. But when I saw Skyfire, I felt sad right down to the core of my spark. He had been such a dear friend to me before the war, and I know that we both thought that the other had betrayed us once we separated to different factions. But seeing him stirred something within me. I took off, but I knew he heard me.

So it wasn't too much of a surprise that he caught up with me later, before I had to go back to base (careful I wasn't spotted – I can't transform).

We stared at each other silently, before he chuckled drily and said, "Looking good Starscream."

I huffed at him, "Don't joke, it sucks."

"It's sucks for our femmes too," he replied quietly. I didn't answer him. I didn't want him to go, not yet.

"Look, can we just talk? I have sort of an idea about something…can you listen?" I asked sincerely. I knew within myself that I was going out on a limb, that I was crazy, but I am a scientist at spark, and I have to try every possibility before ruling it out.

He sat down, and I smiled slightly. Nothing had changed at all about Skyfire. Venting deeply, I began. "You know how we were good friends a long time ago?" He nodded. "Well, I was thinking about how tight we were. And how we looked after the other, doing almost anything. And…then my processor went to the virus and…well, I thought of you."

The bigger mech across from me stiffened slightly before enunciating, "What do you mean Starscream?"

"Um…well, I have to get rid of the virus. And there is not a lot of options at my base, because they are all idiots. I thought about who I trusted. You are one of those few who are at the top of the list. I know we have definitely grown apart, but if you could help me out Skyfire, I would be eternally grateful," I finished. I hoped and prayed.

The shuttle sighed and looked at me with something akin to pity. My hope faded. "Starscream," he said gently. Oh no. That was his apologetic face. "I can't do that. Even if we were on friendlier terms, I wouldn't. It would just be too…awkward and it's not fair for either you or me. I'm sorry. If I felt I could, I would Starscream. But my spark is telling me it's not right."

I sighed and looked at the ground. I was expecting that, but it didn't lessen the sting.

"But, if you really need me. As in really need me to help you, not with spark bonding, comm. me. I'll always be friendly towards you," Skyfire supplied, hoping to lessen the blow. I felt happy at that. I went up to him and hugged him, letting him know what I thought of his suggestion. I also hoped to convey how sorry I was how the war separated us. I left immediately after, before I completely lost myself and begged him to keep me safe. He's my best friend.

When I got back to base for some energon though, I got hurt again *sighs* does it ever stop? Seriously, the triple-changers have got to take their idioticy to the training arena or somewhere that's NOT THE REC-ROOM!

Ow, my wings still hurt from where that idiot Blitzwing got me. At least Hook was actually tender in his care for once, knowing how sensitive my wings are. It annoys me though, as 'Warp and 'Cracker got me to the med-bay today, Soundwave's little twins kept wolf-whistling at me. Frenzy even dared to call out, 'Hey beautiful!' Urgh. He's such a little perv.

On another note, it was funny that Megatron yelled at both Astrotrain and Blitzwing. I could hear his bellows from the medbay.

Day Six – During 'New Sensation'

I'm pathetic. I really am. So is Megatron. No wonder we haven't won the war. We're pathetic.

How could I expose myself like that? How could he? I was minding my own business, flying lazily about in the sky near base where my sensor readings can be cloaked, when I saw Megatron watching me on the ground. I rolled my optics, knowing that he wouldn't be there for a good reason. It's odd that I don't feel much animosity against him. Not after what he did a few days ago.

So I came down. I didn't like being interrupted from flying so I barked "What?"

The smarmy bugger said something about interrupting my 'me-time.' At least he got something right. He brought me work to do at least. I was going stir-crazy. We traded some formalitites for a little bit before he asked me a question that made me (to use a human term) spill my guts.

"What do you think? I've been attacked twice in the past few days, some of the mechs still whistle at me, I have lost some of my armour, can't use any weapons and I am a FEMME! You tell me!" I sat down and continued to rant. "You want the truth oh mighty leader? Do you? Because I feel so fraggin' weak right now. Worthless. And you know what? Part of me is running scared since what happened with fraggin' Motormaster. And you know what the kicker is? The fact that you of all mechs feel safe to me, apart from 'Warp and 'Cracker. It's nuts! I still can't believe I hugged you the other day. We've hated each other for so long, and now I keep making sure that you are around so I know I'm not going to be somebody's bitch. And I hate it that I feel so weak."

From the look on the old fools face, he didn't expect that response. Huh. Serves him right. I do have a spark after all. And then he asked if we could be friends again!

And to my everlasting patheticness I agreed, I shook his hand (it was nice and warm at the time). Maybe it was because I was so needy after my talk with Skyfire, but I did it. I feel like a grade A idiot. He's gonna shoot me with his fusion cannon as soon as I make a suggestion about anything relating to battle plans or anything I just know it.

Day Seven – During 'meet the humans'

Finally! Some hilarity to my day!

And also something disturbing. I mean…Thunderblast and Shockwave bonded together? Did we step into an alternate universe or something?

But I do have to admit it's hilarious. Especially the look on Megatrons face! Ha! I wouldn't of been surprised if he had purged on the spot. I bet his processor gave him some very…interesting images about those two. I had to laugh. I mean, everyone knew that Thunderblast is a bit loose, but to go back to a fling? Especially Shockwave of all mechs!

But Megatron told me it was Shockwave's fault. He tried the virus on Thunderblast. Well, wake up and smell the high grade Shockie old chap, it works!

Haha, I amuse myself too easily sometimes. My days are being a bit easier now. I have my lab to work with and I am trying out a hundred new ideas I haven't had the time to formulate. It's good to know that, although I am a femme, my processing power remains the same.

I wonder what their sparkling will be like…messed up, no doubt.

And speaking of sparklings, I know why Soundwave and Slipstream have been on the down low. I can't reveal everything here, but suffice to say that Slipstream's virus is gone too, and she is now determined to extinguish the sparks. Soundwave told me of his plan for the three sparklings. I don't like it, but it's tactically brilliant if we are to keep the sparklings (not to mentions their creators and carriers) safe. As I said, I don't like it…but come on, who better than the Autobots to hide the sparklings from Slipstream's clutches?

A/N: CLIFFHANGER! I bet you'll want to know what that's all about huh? Well, in the next two chapters, all will be revealed. The next one is Soundwave, and Slipstreams. Slipstream's won't be overly pleasant, just a word of warning. I hope you liked this chapter from Starscream's perspective. I know I cut some bits out from the 'Megatron' chapter, but I thought that you guys wouldn't want to read the WHOLE scene again. REVIEWS ARE LOVED!