Erm... yeah, so it's been like a month. Pretty much to the date. My bad. Sorry about that. I don't know why this took me so long, but I've got it finished now. I hope y'all like it.

Thank you so much to Ealasiad77 for lending me a beta eye. I really appreciate it!

I don't think there are any other announcements, so let's just get on with the story. lol

There is a cock in my mouth, and not just any cock, Jasper's cock. Jasper's thick, hard cock is in my mouth, and I'm sucking it.

I am kinda freaking out right now.

This is an unforgettable moment in time. It's like jumping off a cliff, free falling into the abyss, hoping for the best. It's a connection...

Jasper grunts loudly, breaking my train of thought, and that's probably for the best. I was getting a little too Deepak Chopra over here.

I mean, I'm not one to mince words or make them sound all pretty and life-changing, but this is seriously a big fucking deal.

I try to take him a little deeper, but then freak myself out, and my teeth may or may not scrape his dick with a little more force than is appropriate.

Jasper lets out a sort of high pitched squeal and makes a loud hissing noise through his teeth.

It doesn't sound like enjoyment on his part, that's for sure.

So, now, I feel like shit because when Jasper used a little teeth on me, it felt fucking awesome!

I suppose, with teeth, a little goes a long way. Lesson fucking learned.

When I take my mouth off him to apologize, Jasper has other plans, and he immediately pushes my face back down.

"I get it," I tell him once my face is good and mashed back against his dick.

I still feel crazy guilty because the last thing you want to do is hurt your boyfriend's dick. I have one myself, and I would be all bent out of shape if Jasper went down all pretty like, then gnarled me with his teeth.

Weirdly enough, McGruff, the crime dog, enters my head. Take a bite out of crime, not your guy's cock, he grunts in that deep, cigarette voice he has. It's like, here kids, listen to a freaking dog with a gravelly smoker hack about not breaking the law. I still don't understand why they use a dog wearing a flasher's coat to teach kids about right and wrong...

Jasper threads his fingers through my hair, and I turn my complete focus on what I'm doing. Contemplating McGruff can wait because Jasper is giving me that wide smile and steady keeping pressure on my head, pressing down again like he's being all smooth.

Even as anti-suave as I am, I know that his actions are anything but cool. It's fine by me, really. As long as I didn't cause permanent damage to his cock, I'm more than happy to finish the task I have already begun -

Giving a blow job.

I was pretty excited about doing this. The one I got from Jasper was unbelievable.

Seriously, Jasper gives them like a champ. That boy could work for Hoover if they had a specialized section of their company devoted to sucking dick... which would be weird now that I think about it.

"Fuck," Jasper moans, bringing me back to my task at hand, or mouth if you will, and I try to take him a little bit deeper down my throat.

When I choke on his penis, the noise I make is super eloquent. It kind of sounds like, "gughnegng."

I go back to just licking the head and stroking him with my hand. Better safe than choking to death on a penis, I always say. Well, I've never said it before, but I'm definitely going to start saying it now. I might even have that shit trademarked.

Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to handle all of him. I mean, it's pretty obvious that my skills are lacking a bit. I am new to this and all. It seems I'm going to have to work my way up to deep throating. I had a dream that I would be a pro at this like right off the bat. Dreams come true my ass. They are obvious blatant lies.

I'm definitely not ready for the Major Leagues right now... or the Minors really. Fuck, I'm probably still considered Little League. I think I'm at least past T-ball when it comes to blow jobs. Jasper seems to be enjoying it, so I guess that's all that matters really.

I pop the head of his cock into my mouth, taking in only a safe amount of his erection, of course. When I choked earlier, it's not like I felt sick, but heaven fucking forbid I barf all over his dick. I don't think I could ever recover from that. That would be the mental blocks of all mental blocks. Like this one time, I vommed after eating spaghetti, and just the thought of noodles and sauce had me gagging for like five years after it happened.

"Edward," he hisses, and I glance up at him.

He licks his lips and threads his hands tighter into my hair. I moan around his cock when he pulls a little harder, and should it freak me out that I like that so much? My mind wanders to an image of Jasper in leather, and as hot as he fucking looks, the paddle that leatherJasper is holding looks scary as fuck. I'm talking Mickey Rourke scary. There is no way I'd want him to spank me with that shit.

Well, I'm probably not into that then, right? He pulls my hair again, though, and I have to palm myself through my pants because I feel like I'm about to burst through my jeans. Hmm... well, maybe I might be into that a little bit - just no paddles.

"Fuck, yeah," Jasper grunts, thrusting harder into my mouth.

Man, my jaw is starting to ache. My muscles are not used to this at all. Is there something I could do to exercise it - like a Thigh Master for your mouth.

I wonder if that blond lady from Three's Company could sell that on QVC?

That thought is pushed out of my mind by the dick that is currently being pushed harder into my mouth.

"Going to cum," Jasper grits out through clenched teeth.

Shit. What do I do?

Should I swallow? Should I back up and let him cum in my hand. Wait! I'd need some tissue then, right? I don't have any! Should I get some?

When I pull my mouth away to ask, Jasper shouts and shoots.

"Fuck!" he groans, his head falling back.

"My eye!" I yell at the same time.

Jasper lifts his head and opens his eyes. "What?" he asks, his eyebrows knitting together when he looks down at me. I'm sure I'm a sight to see, down on my knees, face covered in jizz, one hand covering my throbbing eyeball.

"It burns," I whine, trying to open my eye, but I can't. "I'm blind!"

Jasper lets out a small chuckle, and I try to glare at him, but it's hard when I can barely see him out of my good eye. Oh my god! I now have a good eye - like, no, Sonny, move to the right; I can only see you out of my good eye.

What if it's beyond repair? Could I lose my vision completely? How could I explain that to my doctor father?

"Motherfucking cum eyeball!" I curse loudly

Jasper snorts, obviously holding back laughter, and he stands walking over to the other side of the room. I hear the water turn on and off, and then he's back next to me, kneeling down and pressing a warm washcloth to my ruined eye. "I'm sorry," he whispers softly into my ear as he continues to gently wash my eye.

I shake my head. "It's not your fault," I admit. "I pulled away at the wrong time."

Jasper throws his arm over my shoulder. "Hold that on your eye," he tells me, and I do, resting my head on his shoulder. His fingers seek out the hair at the nape of my neck, and I let out a sigh, relaxing into his touch. "I can't believe this happened," I whine. I would fuck this moment up. God, I just want to not be a fucking spazz at one fucking thing. It's not really too much to ask for, I'd say.

Jasper presses his lips to my forehead. "It was perfect, Edward," he assures me. "I'm just sorry this happened." He laughs. "Next time I cum on your face, though, you should probably close your eyes."

I push him away with a playful punch. Yeah, right, I'm risking this pain again. "Next time I'm fucking swallowing," I tell him, pulling the washcloth away and giving my eye a few test blinks. It's kind of fuzzy, but I have definitely got my vision still. Thank Jesus.

"Is it next time yet?" he practically growls.

*~E~*

"Edward, I can't... do that... "

Slamming the door behind me, I glare at the elevator when I pass it by. The stairs seem like a better bet right now. I cannot be trapped in that fucking slow tiny box. I'd go crazy. My hands clench into fists, and I let out a loud frustrated hiss.

I can't believe Jasper. The way he was acting... the sneer on his face... the dismissal in his voice.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

I circle the building, heading toward the back that is facing some trees. Once hidden from sight, I let my back fall against the wall, my eyes closing. I take deep breaths to try to calm down.

God! All I was doing was asking a simple question. Why haven't you bottomed before, and he freaked out on me. I just wanted to know why? Has no one wanted to? Has he never offered? I mean, does it hurt?

Is he expecting to hurt me?

"I don't expect anything!"

That's a lie, I scoff, answering Jasper's words that are replaying in my mind. Everyone expects something, especially when you're in a relationship. I expect honesty and openness, and I definitely did not get it from him today.

Doesn't he realize how new this? How scary this can be for me? It's so easy to lose myself in him - so fucking easy. When were together, I feel like I'm drowning, but I know it will be okay. Every touch, every look, every single kiss is so overwhelming and amazing, but that frightens me even more.

In his mind, he's already picked out our roles in the bedroom, but I'm a fucking noob when it comes to sex. How am I supposed to know what I like and don't like? Everyone needs to experiment! Also, how does he know he wouldn't like it, that it wouldn't be good for him?

"Oh, I can guarantee that fucking you will be good for me, Edward."

That thought runs through my head, and it makes me shiver from the lust that dripped form his words. That, though, just makes me even angrier! How dare he try to be all hot and sexy when I'm trying to have a serious and important conversation. Was he trying to manipulate me? Am I so weak that a few winks and suggestive words would make me lose myself in lust?

"God, Edward, yeah, okay? Yes, I would fucking love to have sex with you and show you how good it can be for you, but I don't fucking expect anything out of you. It's your choice. We both have a choice in this. I choose not to bottom. Let's just leave it at that."

Do we both really have a choice? Obviously, he expects his word to the be the final one, and that's shit is just not going to fly. I may not have experience, but I have a voice. It will be motherfucking heard. He can't just think I'm going to lie down and take it...

Wait.

I guess that is kind of what he wants exactly.

I just don't get why he freaked the fuck out on me like that...

"It's just that... I've never... and it's... um... I'm scared."

Scared.

Jasper is scared.

That's what it all comes down to. It has to be.

The only question is - what is he so scared of?

With that thought, I turn back toward the dorm, determined to stomp this bug into the ground... or nip this in the bud... blow out the candle before it burns down the house... wait, I don't think that's a real saying...

"I'm scared."

Right.

Jasper.

With that, I turn and head back inside, running up the stairs to our floor. I burst through the door with more force than needed, probably resembling Kramer, and I skid to a stop when my eyes lock on Jasper.

He's laying on his back on my bed, his forearms crossed over his face. He looks up at me, and he just seems completely miserable. A second later, though, that emotion is gone from his face, buried under a mask of anger. He sneers at me.

"Back for more, Edward?"

I fight the urge to roll me eyes. He's going to make this difficult - the ass. Doesn't he know that we're all fucking scared, sometimes, but it's not cool to get all defensive and hide behind hateful words and ugly glares. I'm not going to let him get away with that shit anymore.

"Get up," I state, keeping my voice even.

He lets out an exaggerated huff. "I'm not messing your bed up," he snaps, his voice rising.

It's getting hard not to shout back at him. Who would have thought Jasper could act like such a turd?

"I don't care that you're on my bed, Jasper," I tell him. I arch a brow at him. "Though, it is interesting that you would choose to lay on my bed..." I trail off, and he rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw. I fight the urge to laugh. That would probably not smooth this situation over any faster.

"Seriously, though, get up," I demand, widening my eyes at him exacerbation. "We're getting out of this tiny room, and we are going to have a motherfucking conversation like two reasonable people."

"I don't wanna," he mumbles, sounding like a four year old.

I stomp my foot, and it is not nearly as effective as I thought it would be. It is actually not effective at all. I'm sure, by the look Jasper gives me, I resemble a tweenaged girl throwing a hissy fit. He fights back a smile.

So, be it.

I stomp my foot again, putting my arms into it.

He snorts.

"Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!" I stomp each time.

"Oh my god," Jasper replies, the humor obvious in his voice. "Chill out, Demi Lovato." He rolls off the bed and stands up. "Now what?"

I smile at him, and he glances down, looking guilty. Good. He should be. "Follow me."

I walk out of the room, and I grin to myself when I hear his footsteps behind me. Once in the parking lot, I make a beeline for Jasper's car, waiting for him by the passenger side. He opens his mouth like he wants to ask a question, but then he just shakes his head and unlocks his door, pushing the button to let me in. Once we're both buckled in and the car is on, he looks at me, waiting.

"Exit the parking lot and turn left," I state in an official directions only voice. He makes a face like he's about to argue, but I give him a warning glare. He sighs and turns left like I said. For the entire ride, the only words spoken are "left" and "right."

"Turn into this parking lot," I finally tell him, and Jasper does. Once the car is off, he turns toward me.

"The park?" he asks, sounding annoyed.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, nervous about sharing the next bit of information with him. It's time to share, kids. "When I was a child, I loved the park, especially the swings," I start, staring out the window at the playground equipment. "I could spend hours just swinging back and forth. It was my favorite place my mom would take Alice and me. When she... got sick, I used to sneak out of the house when things were too tough to handle, and I would go to the park by our house and sit on the swings. It was a good place to think or... release some built up emotions."

Jasper puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes it in a comforting way. I turn toward him. "Sometimes, I would just kick rocks to get out my anger, but it never failed to make me feel better, more in control of my emotions. When she... died, I told myself I was too old to find comfort at the playground, so I stopped going. I mean, I was in high school then, so it made sense."

"I get it," Jasper replies in a whisper.

I smile over at him, placing my hand on top of his and interlacing our fingers. "I just kind of feel like swinging right now."

Jasper grins. "Swinging, baby, yeah," he says in an awful imitation of Austin Powers.

Leaning toward him, I press my lips against his firmly yet chastely. "I don't think a comedy career is in your future," I joke with a smile before opening my door and jogging toward the swings. Without a second thought, I grab the nearest one, sit down and push with my feet before letting go and testing my weight on the children's equipment. When all I get is a small squeak in return, I push myself a few times with my feet before I start pumping my legs, swinging higher and higher until my ass is thrust slightly out of the seat each time I rise into the air. I close my eyes, enjoying the weightless feeling of my body and my mind. It's a soothing action, one that I'm happy to discover still has the power to calm me.

With my eyes still closed, I lean back, making my body long, and smile when it makes my stomach flip-flop. The fear of falling trickles in, adding to the excitement of it all. After a moment, I stop pumping my legs, slowing down with each subsequent revolution. I open my eyes and turn to find Jasper casually swinging next to me, watching me with a giant smile on his face.

He's just pushing himself back and forth with his feet, so I drag my feet across the ground a few times to stop.

I give him a small close-lipped smile, and he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he says, looking all bashful. I just wait. He rolls his eyes and kicks his foot across the loose dirt under the swing. "I said I was sorry, Edward."

"We're going to have to talk about it," I tell him, twisting back and forth in the swing.

He nods. "I know. I... um... it's just..."

I decide to make it a little easier on him, or harder, really, depending on how you look at it, and I go straight for the jugular. "Why are you scared?"

His mouth falls open. "I'm not..."

"Jasper," I cut him off, shaking my head no. I don't want any more lies or half-truths. "Is it me? Are you scared of me?"

He snorts in a short burst of laughter. I glare at him. "Sorry. It's just... scared of you? No. You're about as scary as a kitten with a ball of string."

That does not make me very happy. Shit, if I have to be a cat, I want to at least be a street-wise alley cat or something. "Kittens have sharp claws," I mention to Jasper. "They hide them behind they're adorableness, and then they attack when you least expect it."

Jasper laughs and nods his head. "Sorry," he apologizes. "You're much scarier than a kitten."

I sneer at him, but let it go. There is one thing I'm not going to let go today, though. "Jasper, why are you scared?" I ask again. "What is it about bottoming that made you freak like that?"

His smile drops, and he turns his head away. "Edward," he sighs. "I just can't."

I know I can be completely clueless sometimes, but when it comes to the people I'm closest with, I'm normally really sensitive to their feelings. I've been pretty keyed into Jasper, lately. I mean, I pay serious attention to him, and right now, he's silently begging for me to just drop the subject. His pathetic, emo voice is only further proof of that. I'm sorry, Charlie, I snap, well, snap in my head. That's not going to fly today.

"Bullshit," I retort, and his head practically spins around it turns so fast toward me.

"What?"

"Bull. Shit," I state again, slower.

"It's not bullshit!" he counters, his voice getting louder. "I can't do... that!"

"It's that you won't, Jasper," I remark. "Not that you can't."

"Same difference," he practically snaps at me, and I let out a long breath to keep this conversation from being filled with more anger and yelling. That's like the last thing we need right now.

"It's not at all, and you know that," I say with a small smile. He rolls his eyes. "Listen, man, this shit is not easy for me, either, but we obviously need to talk about it!"

He reaches over and places his hand on my upper thigh. "Why, Edward?" he asks all sweet like. His hand moves a little higher. My eyes might roll a little bit back into my head before I come to my senses. I slap his hand away.

"I'm fucking serious, Jasper!" I yell, jumping out of the swing. "This is a thing, a big thing, a huge thing!"

"I've got a huge thing," he says, snorting at his own joke.

I turn toward him, crossing my arms over my chest. "That's it," I grit out through my clenched teeth. "I'm done with this. I am just done."

"What?" he asks, his voice breaking slightly. "Done?"

I turn away from him, my shoulders dropping. A second later, Jasper is behind me. He's standing so close I can hear him swallow, but he doesn't touch me.

"Edward, I am scared," he admits in a whisper. I don't turn around. Maybe it's easier for him to say these things to my back. "I've never bottomed because I don't trust anyone to have that kind of... control over my body. I can't give it up like that. It's too much to ask for."

He doesn't say anything else, and he doesn't move away. Blindly, I reach out behind me, grasping his hands in both of mine. He lets out a deep breath and rests his head against my upper back.

"I would never hurt you," I tell him softly. "You can trust me, Jasper."

"I do trust you, Edward. I do," he pauses. "Still, the idea of giving up the reigns over my own body like that freaks me the fuck out. My..."

"Your what?" I ask when he doesn't finish his sentence. "Please... just tell me."

"My... dad took all my power away, all my control, even over my body, and I just can't, Edward."

"I'd never..." I start, but he quickly interrupts me.

"I know." He squeezes my hands. "I'll try to move past it, but for now, can we talk about something else. I'm sick of feeling like I should cut myself and write emo whiny rock."

I laugh more for his benefit than mine and spin around, closing my arms around his waist for a hug. I rest my head on his shoulder, nuzzling my face into his neck. His arms encircle me.

We'll have to talk about this again, of that I'm completely positive, but we covered a lot of ground tonight. I, at least, have a little better insight into Jasper's head and the reasons behind his overreaction earlier in the night. We aren't having sex yet, but when we do, I guess I'll just have to man up and take it up the ass. The idea sounds scarier than it probably is. Obviously people dig it. I can do that. I can do that for Jasper.

He hugs me tight, enveloping me securely in his arms, and he doesn't let go for what seems like forever. It was probably only a few minutes, but still, it was a long hug.

"I'm sorry," he says again, and I kiss him on the neck in response.

"You can always talk to me, Jasper. I'm here for you."

He nods, pressing his lips against the top of my shoulder. God, I love how we fit together like this. It's all so fluid and perfect. I think my body was made with his in mind.

"Thank you," is all he says, and we're quiet again, allowing ourselves to be in the moment.

"Jasper?" I say after a couple minutes of silence.

"Yeah?"

"Who's Demi Lovato?"

*~E~*

"Are you nervous, Edward?" Jasper asks me with a laugh.

I shrug, hoping that it comes off as nonchalant. I really am freaking out though. I've never been to a place like this. How are we even going to get in? Neither of us are twenty-one.

"How are we going to get in?" I voice the question to Jasper.

He chuckles. "Edward, with a face and a body like mine, how would we not get in?"

He seems so serious about that even though the statement is so overly vain and ridiculous. "You know, Jasper," I start, placing my hand on his forearm. "There is a point where self-confidence becomes conceitedness, and you have definitely passed it. We might get past the bouncer, but I'm not sure your big head will fight through the door."

"It's not being conceited if it's the truth, duh," he retorts with a smile. I roll my eyes. "I'm being fucking serious, though. A wink and a smile go a long way," he assures me with a grins, waggling his brows at me. "A kiss will go even farther," he adds.

"And just who are you going to be kissing?"

He smiles sheepishly. "Only you, but I might have to grease a few cheeks to get us in if you know what I'm saying." He pulls into the parking lot and turns toward me. "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's go."

When we walk toward the building, I can hear the music from the outside. We reach the door, and Jasper walks up to the bouncer. I can't really make out what they're saying because every time the door opens, the loud pulsing beat from inside hits my ears. Jasper does indeed lean in and kiss the bouncer on the cheek, and a feeling of red hot jealousy surges through me. I want to rip the guy's ears off. I know he outweighs me by... a lot, but it doesn't matter. I want to destroy him!

Jasper walks back over to me with a smile, grabs my hand and leads me toward the door.

"Jasper is mine," I growl out at the bigger man when I pass him, but he just laughs and nods his head, slapping me on the ass.

He's got some fucking nerve!

Before I can complain to Jasper, he's pulling me into the building, and I'm immediately overwhelmed by the number of guys here.

Shit. It's like anything goes.

I'm sure my eyes are as wide as saucers when a giant drag queen struts right in front of me, but I can't help it. This place is crazy. Then, we head toward the dance floor, and my eyes are exhausted by the sheer volume of bodies moving together. It's a sea of chests and arms, and the boys are grinding and thrusting... and oh lord, look at him... I wonder if I could do that up and down hip swivel in front of Jasper.

Knowing me, I'd probably just land on my ass.

"You want something to drink?" Jasper asks me.

Before I can respond, a strong hand curls around my bicep and someone slides up between us.

"Well, well, well, fancy meeting you boys here."

"The same thing could be said for you," Jasper remarks, and I turn toward the person who is currently worming their way between me and my boyfriend.

Blond hair, blue eyes, tiny shorts.

Oh my god.

Well, that's it for this time around. I hope you enjoyed it. I wonder who's at the bar? Any thoughts?

Just let me know. Review!