A/N Another one I've had to cut into two or it would be too long. Will hopefully post tonight but if not it will be tomorrow night as I'm off singing. Whoop whoop! (I don't know if I even CAN sing)

I don't own Merlin yet. When I win the Euromillions lottery, I'll buy him.

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Chapter 24 Telling it like it is.

Hushed voices spilled from the small council chamber rising and falling in gentle waves. Gwen's laugh sounded suddenly and another round of voices started up. It sounded happy and carefree, so unlike the situation that they were all gathered for.

Merlin had paused at the closed doors, gathering his courage to face them all. Gaius stood by his elbow offering the silent support he needed right now. This was a huge occasion for the warlock and he needed time to just sort himself out. Never had there been so many people who knew his secret before, and he was terrified they had replaced Merlin in their minds with something he just wasn't.

Giving yet another sigh, (he'd lost count of how many that was this morning) he straightened his shoulders and pushed the doors into the room.

The round table from the ancient castle of kings stood glinting in the morning sun filtering through the stained glass. It had been cleaned and polished to a mirror shine, beeswax lovingly rubbed into every crack. He knew he had done it. Arthur had brought it out, when the old council room had been wrecked in Morgana's last bid, the old rectangular table shattered and the chairs turned to matchsticks. Merlin had to admit this table suited the chambers far more than the old one had.

He had stood uncertainly in the doorway, Gaius moving towards his seat. Nearly everyone else had their backs to him, only Arthur and Elyan facing his way. And they were too intent on the animated conversation in front of them to realise he was here.

He took the time to study his king. Last evening he had been tired and shaken. Too emotionally charged to realise how much Arthur's countenance seemed to have changed in just a matter of days.

He looked like he fitted into his skin. It wasn't that he hadn't looked comfortable before but it almost seemed as if he had bloomed. The mantle of kingship now falling naturally on his shoulders, instead of seeming forced. He had always been a man to be reckoned with on the battlefield, but there was something more now. He looked like he could be a force of nature all by himself. Merlin was eminently proud of him.

"Merlin!" He had been spotted it seemed. Everything stopped. Gwen was the first to his side, taking him in a hug. Genuine delight lighting her delicate features.

"How are you? And don't try and tell me you're fine if you're not. I know how you work in these situations and I'll sit on you to get you to rest if I have to." He only opened his mouth to tell her that he was in fact fine, when another voice piped up.

"Best not to argue Merlin. You know she would do it and I'm not sure Princess would approve of her sitting on your lap!"

"Gwaine!" Gwen hit him, Merlin wasn't about to interfere lest he be in the firing line. He knew what Gwen's punches felt like. "That's not what I meant at all and you know it!" Gwaine just sent her an unrepentant, roguish grin. Then he turned to him, rather more serious than normal.

"It's good to have you back." His arm had snaked out and he grasped forearms with the warlock. The tight grip conveying everything he hadn't said. That he would be there if he needed to talk, that he would never judge, and that he was glad he was now safe. Merlin gave him just as serious a nod in return.

"I really am alright Gwen. Still a bit tired but, not much, honestly!" She gave him a searching look then obviously trying to see if he was indeed telling the truth. Merlin gave her his most innocent smile, and she seemed well satisfied. Moving over to her chair, giving Arthurs arm a small squeeze as she did so.

Leon, Elyan and Perceval predictably gave him manly hugs, brief squeezes of one arm round the shoulders, and breath stealing pounds on his back. He gave each a sheepish grin at the reassurances that he would always be their friend, that they were happy he was well, and that they always knew there was more to him. They brought tears to his eyes at the overwhelmingly heartfelt welcome. It was freeing, to have them know and still care. He wished he could bottle it, this perception of being wanted and needed and dare he say it loved. So he could take it back out again on those days he was feeling down.

Arthur had held back. Standing to the right of the table. Hand on the back of a chair. The same chair he patted a moment later and gave him a teasing, come hither glance as he pulled it out for Merlin to sit. Merlin couldn't help but give a small huff of a laugh.

"I thought there were supposed to be others?" Merlin ran his hands nervously over the rounded edge of the surface in front.

"The other knights will be joining us later but for now I thought it would be prudent to just have the round table here."

"You want an explanation then." It's what Merlin had thought.

"No. Whatever you might want to tell us, I promise we will listen. It will stay within this room." Merlin didn't say anything for a long time fighting the need to cry. It would be so like Arthur to pick up on that to the point he would never live it down.

"I don't know what to say, except thankyou!" They had never known Merlin as diffident before. He had never been shy in expressing his opinions and letting you know if he was annoyed by running out his legendary sarcasm.

"Perhaps if you asked me questions? I don't promise to answer but…" He gave a self-deprecating shrug not knowing how to even begin. In all the scenario's of how his magic may come out and the aftermath. This particular case had never even been hinted at by his brain. He felt just a little unbalanced by it all.

"You were never at the tavern were you?" The devilish glint in Gwaine's eyes was just too much, Merlin's hearty laughter echoed round the chamber. Leon rounded on the knight incredulous disbelief.

"All the deed's we thought we'd worked out he was probably involved in and you have to ask him that?"

"What? I'm fairly certain a lot of those trips to the tavern coincide with magical mayhem. Am I right?" Gwaine twisted in his seat, turning the full force of his charm on the warlock.

"Um yeah." Merlin felt the blush creeping slowly up his neck to his hairline. Whilst Gwaine just whooped shouting he knew it to the rafters. Merlin called to mind one of those particular instances, and sobered instantly. Turning to Arthur, he realised this needed to be said.

"Arthur." Taking his cue from the suddenly serious voice and mien, the king knew this would be one of those painful stories he'd thought about last night. "The night your father died, the old sorcerer who tried to heal him, couldn't because of a pendant, made by Morgana." Oh yes this was definitely not going to be a story with a happy ending. "Agravaine placed it round your father's neck when he knew what you were going to try. It reversed the healing spell so instead of healing him, it destroyed him." Merlin's voice was breaking. Shame and guilt showing plainly even as his head was lowered. "I am so sorry. I should have checked, should have seen it. It was me! I was the old sorcerer." Arthur had placed his head in his hands. He had known, hadn't he? That there would be tales that were not pretty. "It was my fault he died."

In his own unique way Merlin was a warrior. Battle hardened and battle scarred. Those scars didn't come without a mental price. Every warrior of conscience he knew, had things he wasn't proud of. Hell Arthur wasn't proud of most of the things his father made him do. He couldn't blame the man for trying to heal a wound that according to Gaius had already been fatal.

"It wasn't though was it? Morgana, Agravaine, hell the assasin killed him more surely than you did. As far as I am aware, all you did was fail to check for something you didn't know would be there. Stop blaming yourself for things beyond your control."

"I've told him that before sire. Most especially just after it happened." Gaius gave his ward a long look that promised retribution later for keeping these fears to himself for so long. Merlin, for the most part ignored him.

"Does that mean you were the one to throw us around that clearing?" Perceval's voice piped up and four knights all turned as one to glare a little at the hapless young man.

Merlin threw his hands up clearly trying to apologise.

"You told us you were going to kill the king!" Leon sounded aghast and his face paled. "You also said you were going to kill Arthur when I gave you the crossbow. I thought you were just joking!"

"In his defence he was enchanted at the time." Gwen's sudden yet fierce protection had been exceedingly welcome

"You knew?" Now Leon just sounded surprised.

"Not about the old man obviously, but about the enchantment yes." She turned back to the warlock "What were you doing exactly?" Gwen's curiosity was aroused. She knew it hadn't been his fault. It had taken his will and he wasn't acting on his own volition.

"I needed to kill the mother beast. The one in my neck would have taken over once again. Gaius found a way to make it sleep temporarily. The knights were in my way and it would have taken too long. I only had a short time before it came back to awareness." Unconsciously rubbing his neck throughout, he turned to the knights. "I am sorry for using you as a stepladder." The apology may have been more convincing if it hadn't been belied by the twinkle of pure mischief in the young mans eyes.

"Mother beast, one in your neck?! Care to explain that?" Elyan sounded horrified for good reason. He still vividly remembered the torture at the hands of Morgana and her pet Nathair. Merlin, Gaius and Gwen all opened their mouths to clarify. Surprisingly it was Arthur who answered.

"When he was injured in the valley of the fallen kings. The days he was missing, he was in Morgana's hut. The Fomorrah is a snake. It takes the will of the person away and replaces it with a command. Morgana commanded him to kill me. Simple." If anything Elyan looked even worse. Gwaine gave a pained grimace, Perceval and Leon looked like they wanted to be sick, and Merlin, Gwen and Gaius all glanced at him with disbelief. "What? I do pay attention when people tell me things, and that isn't something you can forget in a hurry." Merlin was feeling much more relaxed about this now. It was a relief to be able to share things so openly. Even with Gaius. Anything he and the physician discussed, if it involved magic, always came with admonishments to be careful, and conceal it at all costs.

"Why did you never tell me about that? You were enchanted I would never have condemned you." Merlin's gaze was far away his fingers tracing idle patterns on the raised knotwork.

"I hated the thought I could be controlled so easily. That even with my magic I had no defence, no way to resist. It was difficult to realise just how vulnerable I could be. I'm supposed to protect, that is what magic is for. It shamed me to realise I had had to save you from myself." The loyalty fairly shone from the warlock as he turned back to his king. It had Arthur fairly stumped. They were all quiet after that all realising there was so much they did not know. So many layers, yet to be uncovered.

Gwen cut through the melancholy that had settled on the group, with a request, simple but which meant so much.

"Will you show us? Will you do some magic for us? Please?" How could he refuse. The only magic he had been allowed to do since he had been healed was lighting a candle so Gaius and Khilgarrah could check his magic had suffered no ill effects.

He didn't say anything just gave a blinding grin and made a fist, bringing it to his lips.

"Forbearne." His eyes flashed gold, the flame appeared on the top of his palm and he held it out for all to see. He left it there for a few moments then eyes flashing yet again he sent it dancing and skittering across the table. Then he turned the flame to ribbons, weaving knots of light in the air. They eventually faded leaving a heavy silence behind, but the awe on his friend's faces was priceless.

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Spell translation.

Forbearne - Fire