My beta is so slow but I can't fire him (in part due to those marriage vows and the two kids we share). I will keep pressuring him to keep up! Enjoy.
Sticks and Stones Chapter 25:
"We sent a probe out like usual. We got some unusual readings, which you of course investigated. It turned out to be a sentient life form residing in our mainframe. It offered to communicate with you and took over your body." Daniel watched Sam closely. She seemed to just be lost in thought.
"When we got you back you said you couldn't remember anything except blackness and you were screaming for us to find you." Daniel scooted closer to Sam so he could reach out and touch her hand.
"I remember it playing with Colonel, I mean General O'Neill."
"Yeah, with the camera, while it was learning our names." Sam made her finger into a mock gun sign and saluted. It made a chill run down Daniel's spine.
"You were in the MALP room when you woke. Do you remember that?"
"No, but I remember the infirmary. General O'Neill apologized for killing me. I told him he had saved me." Sam looked at Daniel. He saw the question in her eyes.
"He zatted you twice. You were on life support. Janet reminded him you had a living will and it was time to disconnect you. He asked for more time. Luckily, it was just enough time for us to figure out the entity had put your consciousness into the SGC mainframe."
"Freaky."
"That's one way to put it."
"Janet told you three I was doing well and she would release me the next day, assuming there were no set backs and as long as somebody would stay with me for a couple of days."
"Yeah, all three of us volunteered and then she shooed us out of the infirmary with strict order to not return before breakfast the day. When we came back the next morning you had been moved to an isolation room. Janet said you had requested no visitors. She said you needed to rest. Later that night I found Jack pacing his office muttering. It turned out that you, Janet, and Cassie had taken off on leave without even saying good-bye. General Hammond had approved the leave but he refused to explain anything to us. You were gone for two weeks. We didn't hear from you the whole time. Jack was a wreck."
"I can't believe I would just disappear like that, especially since all indications are we had been getting closer in the proceeding months."
"That's what we thought. That's what he thought." Daniel's voice had gotten quieter as he spoke but Sam heard him and she understood. "What do you remember about that night in the infirmary?"
"I was very tired. Janet gave me a sedative and went to her office. I woke up later because I was having abdominal cramps, not surprising since I was over a month late."
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand?"
"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I forget you're not a woman."
"Is that a compliment?"
"If you take it that way." Sam gave him a sneaky grin, which Daniel couldn't interpret.
"Ok, but I still don't understand."
"When I skip a period the next one is usually accompanied by more severe cramps."
"Is it normal to skip a...period?" Daniel's face scrunched up as he said it.
"Not for most people, but I do it every once in awhile, especially if I let my weight drop."
"What does your weight have to do with it?"
"Have you ever heard of anorexia?"
"Yeah, that's what you have when you starve yourself to be ultra thin and make yourself sick."
"Pretty much. I spent months in high school fighting anorexia, not long after my mother died."
"But you're better now?"
"Yes, but you're never really cured. I often catch myself falling back into bad patterns, like working too much and not eating enough."
"Is that why Janet was on your case so much while you were building the particle generator?" Sam blushed.
"Yeah, she knew about the anorexia and she made it her personal mission to not let me forget that I have to be good every day."
"Good for her."
"Yeah, she really was a great friend." Daniel gave a Sam a moment to reflect, while she stared at her toes, which she flexed back and forth.
"Ok so you skipped a...you know what, meaning you were having bad cramps that woke you up."
"Right. After about an hour Janet heard me moan and came into check. I tried to convince her to just give me something light for the pain but she of course overreacted and jumped into doctor mode."
"I hated doctor mode. It usually involved lots of needles."
"Oh, yeah. There were several needles this time." Sam stopped talking. She frowned as she concentrated.
"Needles and..."
"An ultrasound." Sam's eyes grew wide. The blood left her face and her arms dropped off her legs. She pushed herself up from the sofa and ran to the bathroom. Daniel wasn't fast enough to stop her. She slammed the door and he heard the sound of her retching.
Daniel got a glass of water from the kitchen and brought into the bathroom. By the time he opened the door she had finished throwing up and was leaning back against the tub. He handed her the water. She swished and spit into the toilet. Her eyes were closed as she leaned back against the tub.
"What did you remember Sam?"
"I can't tell you." Her answer was barely above a whisper.
"You can tell me anything, Sam." She opened her eyes. Her fear scared him. He couldn't believe something that had hurt her as much as this had been trapped within her for years.
"He can't ever know. He'd never get over it. He'd never forgive me or himself." Daniel reached out and pulled her towards his chest.
"Let me help."
"I was pregnant."
"What?" Daniel pushed her back just far enough so he could see her face.
"I didn't know until I lost the baby."
"It was Jack's?" Tears erupted from her eyes.
"Yes."
"Why did it..."
"Janet wasn't sure if it was being zatted or the protein and naquada left by Jolinar." Sam collapsed back onto Daniel's chest.
"Either way, you thought Jack would have blamed himself." Daniel felt her nod against his chest. Daniel began to shake with the thought of how this news would affect Jack. "Oh, God Sam why did you try to deal with this yourself?"
"I didn't." Her reply sounded muffled and garbled since her face was pressed against Daniel's chest. "Cassie went to stay with her grandparents. Janet took me on a little trip. She helped me deal with what had happened. It gave me time to decided what to do."
"And you decided to push Jack away." Sam didn't respond with words but her sobs increase in intensity and volume. All Daniel could do was hold her until she cried herself to exhaustion. He helped her to bed. He watched her before he closed the door to her room. She had never failed to amaze him. He never would have guessed his best friend had struggled against anorexia as a teenager and had a miscarriage right under his nose. Were her acting skills that good or was his friendship with her shallower then he imagined? Daniel went back to the living room to wait for Teal'c while he pondered the true nature of his friendship with Sam.
Sticks and Stones Chapter 25:
"We sent a probe out like usual. We got some unusual readings, which you of course investigated. It turned out to be a sentient life form residing in our mainframe. It offered to communicate with you and took over your body." Daniel watched Sam closely. She seemed to just be lost in thought.
"When we got you back you said you couldn't remember anything except blackness and you were screaming for us to find you." Daniel scooted closer to Sam so he could reach out and touch her hand.
"I remember it playing with Colonel, I mean General O'Neill."
"Yeah, with the camera, while it was learning our names." Sam made her finger into a mock gun sign and saluted. It made a chill run down Daniel's spine.
"You were in the MALP room when you woke. Do you remember that?"
"No, but I remember the infirmary. General O'Neill apologized for killing me. I told him he had saved me." Sam looked at Daniel. He saw the question in her eyes.
"He zatted you twice. You were on life support. Janet reminded him you had a living will and it was time to disconnect you. He asked for more time. Luckily, it was just enough time for us to figure out the entity had put your consciousness into the SGC mainframe."
"Freaky."
"That's one way to put it."
"Janet told you three I was doing well and she would release me the next day, assuming there were no set backs and as long as somebody would stay with me for a couple of days."
"Yeah, all three of us volunteered and then she shooed us out of the infirmary with strict order to not return before breakfast the day. When we came back the next morning you had been moved to an isolation room. Janet said you had requested no visitors. She said you needed to rest. Later that night I found Jack pacing his office muttering. It turned out that you, Janet, and Cassie had taken off on leave without even saying good-bye. General Hammond had approved the leave but he refused to explain anything to us. You were gone for two weeks. We didn't hear from you the whole time. Jack was a wreck."
"I can't believe I would just disappear like that, especially since all indications are we had been getting closer in the proceeding months."
"That's what we thought. That's what he thought." Daniel's voice had gotten quieter as he spoke but Sam heard him and she understood. "What do you remember about that night in the infirmary?"
"I was very tired. Janet gave me a sedative and went to her office. I woke up later because I was having abdominal cramps, not surprising since I was over a month late."
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand?"
"Oh, sorry. Sometimes I forget you're not a woman."
"Is that a compliment?"
"If you take it that way." Sam gave him a sneaky grin, which Daniel couldn't interpret.
"Ok, but I still don't understand."
"When I skip a period the next one is usually accompanied by more severe cramps."
"Is it normal to skip a...period?" Daniel's face scrunched up as he said it.
"Not for most people, but I do it every once in awhile, especially if I let my weight drop."
"What does your weight have to do with it?"
"Have you ever heard of anorexia?"
"Yeah, that's what you have when you starve yourself to be ultra thin and make yourself sick."
"Pretty much. I spent months in high school fighting anorexia, not long after my mother died."
"But you're better now?"
"Yes, but you're never really cured. I often catch myself falling back into bad patterns, like working too much and not eating enough."
"Is that why Janet was on your case so much while you were building the particle generator?" Sam blushed.
"Yeah, she knew about the anorexia and she made it her personal mission to not let me forget that I have to be good every day."
"Good for her."
"Yeah, she really was a great friend." Daniel gave a Sam a moment to reflect, while she stared at her toes, which she flexed back and forth.
"Ok so you skipped a...you know what, meaning you were having bad cramps that woke you up."
"Right. After about an hour Janet heard me moan and came into check. I tried to convince her to just give me something light for the pain but she of course overreacted and jumped into doctor mode."
"I hated doctor mode. It usually involved lots of needles."
"Oh, yeah. There were several needles this time." Sam stopped talking. She frowned as she concentrated.
"Needles and..."
"An ultrasound." Sam's eyes grew wide. The blood left her face and her arms dropped off her legs. She pushed herself up from the sofa and ran to the bathroom. Daniel wasn't fast enough to stop her. She slammed the door and he heard the sound of her retching.
Daniel got a glass of water from the kitchen and brought into the bathroom. By the time he opened the door she had finished throwing up and was leaning back against the tub. He handed her the water. She swished and spit into the toilet. Her eyes were closed as she leaned back against the tub.
"What did you remember Sam?"
"I can't tell you." Her answer was barely above a whisper.
"You can tell me anything, Sam." She opened her eyes. Her fear scared him. He couldn't believe something that had hurt her as much as this had been trapped within her for years.
"He can't ever know. He'd never get over it. He'd never forgive me or himself." Daniel reached out and pulled her towards his chest.
"Let me help."
"I was pregnant."
"What?" Daniel pushed her back just far enough so he could see her face.
"I didn't know until I lost the baby."
"It was Jack's?" Tears erupted from her eyes.
"Yes."
"Why did it..."
"Janet wasn't sure if it was being zatted or the protein and naquada left by Jolinar." Sam collapsed back onto Daniel's chest.
"Either way, you thought Jack would have blamed himself." Daniel felt her nod against his chest. Daniel began to shake with the thought of how this news would affect Jack. "Oh, God Sam why did you try to deal with this yourself?"
"I didn't." Her reply sounded muffled and garbled since her face was pressed against Daniel's chest. "Cassie went to stay with her grandparents. Janet took me on a little trip. She helped me deal with what had happened. It gave me time to decided what to do."
"And you decided to push Jack away." Sam didn't respond with words but her sobs increase in intensity and volume. All Daniel could do was hold her until she cried herself to exhaustion. He helped her to bed. He watched her before he closed the door to her room. She had never failed to amaze him. He never would have guessed his best friend had struggled against anorexia as a teenager and had a miscarriage right under his nose. Were her acting skills that good or was his friendship with her shallower then he imagined? Daniel went back to the living room to wait for Teal'c while he pondered the true nature of his friendship with Sam.