(oops im so sorry it's been so long, but here's a new chapter! thanks for the lovely comments/likes/faves/etc tho i mostyl post in ao3 , a big reason of why i keep writing is your support, so thank you very much! (this changed names in ao3 im not sure if i can do that here, but i'll try. the new title is crystal memory, and i'll make sense when the time comes. all the love, c.)

Marinette was on Alya's arms.

Her best friend had been hugging her for so long now, that she couldn't even tell how many hours had passed since she arrived.

It was not part of Marinette's plan to call Alya for help. She knew that would only freak her out more. However, after the events of the past hours, of course, nothing worked as Marinette planned anymore. She ended up calling her only minutes after she began crying. But she realized it was for the best. She needed her best friend to hold her and calm her down, just as she was doing now. Now was vital, required almost; especially considering when her other best friend, her other half, had gone mad in the middle of his living room.

When Alya arrived at her apartment, Adrien was already quiet. His voice was silent and the crazy laugh that had once resonated throughout the apartment had died down only minutes after she locked herself in her room. She didn't know what Plagg had done, nor could she understand what had happened. One minute, Adrien was screaming like a psychopath in a horror film. The next, after hearing Plagg's whispers and seeing and iridescent light that had leaked through the door, a loud thump against the floor could be heard.

Marinette was still afraid of the consequences she could suffer if she went to check to see if he was okay. Alya had said he was okay, that he appeared to be asleep, and that Nino had moved him to his apartment once he arrived.

But it wasn't as simple. The thing was that Alya did not see Adrien losing his mind. It was impossible for him to happily sleeping after that entire escapade.

"It's my fault," Marinette whispered against Alya's chest. She could tell the shift in attitude Marinette felt by the way her breath pitched.

"Why you think that, Nette?"

She patted her head, attempting to soothe her by playing with strands of her hair. That usually calmed her down, but tonight it was not doing much.

"I was pressuring him. He warned me and I still pushed,"

"Marinette, you did not know this was going to happen. For once you had your own interests in mind. That's not a bad thing. It just backfired this time, okay? And, besides, Adrien doesn't blame you either. I can assure you that. That man loves you too much and is too nice to do something like that,"

Alya kissed her forehead, "Believe me on this one, it's not your fault,"

"I triggered it, Alya, of course, it is my fault,"

"You were not asking him, Mari, you were taking care of him. Listen, Adrien had this whole business unresolved. Yes, he has been to therapy but he can't tell the whole truth, and because of that, he can't talk about everything. He has all these feelings, all these fears and memories, bottled. He doesn't know what to do with them and because of that, he produces those reactions. If we need to blame someone, then it's the idiot who put you two through all of these. He's the cause of Adrien's behavior, not you."

"Still."

Alya was pretty convincing. It was hard to go against that logic. However, she was still feeling guilty.

"Do you think I can go to see him now? I've calmed down a bit, he is asleep so he won't influence my anger and—

"Influence your anger? What does that mean?"

"Plagg said that the reason why my eyes turn purple and why I do all that weird-Ladybug-stuff could be bonded to Adrien's emotions."

"Do you believe that?"

"Plagg sounded convinced about it… that's why we started fighting. Plagg has a theory of why we are unusually connected. Adrien didn't want him to talk about it, and then… well then, he panicked,"

"Oh," Alya sighed, "Well I think I know,"

"Do you?"

"Yeah, we met with Juleka, I don't know if you remember her, but she's a really cool scientist slash doctor now, and well, she was involved in your case. She took samples of your skin, where the scar is in your chest and found out other cells that don't belong to you in them,"

"Like a virus?"

"Sort of, but not really. She said this wasn't anything like she had seen before. Juleka thinks it's magical. Yeah, she figured out that you were LB, but that's not important so let's talk about that another time. We also believe it to be magical. To be exact, Nino thinks Tikki and Nooro are inside you."

"What?!"

Marinette was thankful that she was sitting in bed; if not, she would've fallen to the floor and her head would've collided harshly against it.

Alya looked at her from above her. "Was that too much information?"

Marinette simply nodded. She had never put much thought into her scar. She let it be a mystery, just like everything else that had happened, and the scar did not seem to be relevant. The scar's color was indeed odd, but, she believed that maybe her skin had been infected, causing the weird coloration. Really, she had brushed it off just like any other weird things that surrounded her.

But now, just like every other little detail, this meant something. If what Juleka told Alya was real, then this is one problem that needs to be taken care of immediately.

Having a deity inside of you isn't something to be incautious of. It was important, something to keep an eye on, and given the situation, it was the fastest way to get the information she needed.

"Adrien knows this?"

Alya nodded.

"Does he think is plausible? What about Plagg? What does he think?"

"They both agree that this is not something impossible and that kwamis act in mysterious ways."

Alya sighed.

"We're not sure either. Nino told Gabriel and even Gabriel believes that there's a big possibility that Juleka is right. He called one of his contacts one more time to see if they could speed up their visit,"

"Who is coming?"

"Old friends of Adrien's parents that also happen to be miraculous holders,"

Marinette's mouth dropped.

"I know, girl, I was shocked too,"

Adrien knew more miraculous holders than them? Was that only just a coincidence?

"How does Gabriel know them?" Marinette asked. It was too convenient that he did.

Alya did not say contacts, she had said, old friends . And that was suspicious.

Alya bit her lip.

Marinette raised her brow. She knew that was going to be enough to make Alya speak again, she couldn't contain for too long, less if Marinette pressed her too.

"Adrien's mom was a miraculous holder too, the peacock,"

Marinette kept silent. She was taken back for a second, but, it did not feel like a surprise. She felt as if she had heard it before somewhere, as she knew that little fact.

But wasn't it strange? That Adrien's inner circle was so close to the miraculous? Was it really only a coincidence or did it mean something? If it did, was she also related to people who knew about these magical pieces of jewelry?

So many questions, yet it felt like she had such little time.

"Okay," Marinette said with determination. She stood up from her bed, put her hair in a ponytail, and walked to the door.

"Okay? Okay, what? Where are you going, girl?"

"It has to stop. The secrets, the questioning, the doubts. We have to be honest. All of us. And, we have to uncover this mess; it's time for me to join you guys. I'm a piece of the puzzle, right? I need to be there." Marinette sighed, "I know I don't remember much, but, we have my diaries and , sometimes, things happen that make me remember stuff. You guys, all of you, can help me trigger stuff. Maybe Gabriel's friends can help me remember too. But, we gotta try, we gotta start now."

"Are you sure about this, Marinette?"

"Yes," Marinette nodded, "It's time for me to remember and it's time for Adrien to find peace. I don't think he can find it without me." What Marinette did not say is that she also needed Adrien to find her own peace.

Alya shrugged; an amused smile appeared on her lips. She stood up and followed her friend to Adrien's apartment.

xx

Adrien was not sleeping as Alya said. Adrien was still unconscious from whatever Plagg had done to him. He was in the middle of the living room, on top of the carpet, and all the furniture of the living room was in a corner, separated from him.

Nino was sitting by his side, legs crossed, hands on top of his head, and water circling around Adrien's hair.

"It is still so weird watching you play Avatar ," Alya said, sitting on his left.

Marinette stood still, watching how the water danced but did not spill because of Nino's hands.

"Can I do that?"

Marinette stuttered at first but then walked closer to her friends.

"Not exactly. Yours and Adrien's powers are different to all the other miraculous. Nino's miraculous powers come from the energy and existence of water, that's why Nino can control any shape or state of water. Now Marinette, Adrien and you are powerful thanks to energy itself, and energy exists in everything. You two can activate any sort of energy you want but only after it has been given to you, and it's only given to you when you really need it, and for what Plagg has told me, you never needed to control water,"

Marinette looked at the little deity that had answered her question. She was about to ask if they were a kwami, but at the last second, she felt like that was a dumb question. Of course, he was a kwami; probably Nino's, Adrien had told her that he was magical, but, never specified that he was a miraculous holder too. Now, it was sort of obvious for her.

"Thank you," Marinette smiled, "I'm Marinette, but you probably know that already,"

"I do, but is still a pleasure to meet you again, Ladybug," The creature smiled back, "My name is Wayzz, I'm the kwami in charge of the turtle miraculous and the forces of water.

"I'm sorry I don't remember,"

"No problem, I don't exactly remember either, so you'll have to forgive me too,"

"How—"

"We don't remember you?" Plagg floated in front of her, "We are still unsure, and that's what we are trying to figure it out here"

"So…I'm not the only one who forgot?"

She knew this wasn't a motive to get excited, but not being the only one out of the loop was a gratifying feeling.

"Uh, I wouldn't say that. I did not remember you, but I was aware that I knew who you were before," Plagg answered.

"I remember multiple meetings with Ladybug and Adrien, but when I try to put a name or remember your face, the memories turn blurry. It's like your presence has been erased from our minds,"

"But only the kwamis did," Nino added, "So we concluded that your memory loss is not medical, but magical."

"She hit her head pretty harsh though, couldn't that aggravate the situation?"

Alya did not describe the head wound. She never described anything that happened that day, only giving vague explanations.

"Could be, but I'm putting all my money on magic," Nino half smiled.

"Me too." Marinette finally moved from where she was and sat left to Adrien's left, caressing his cheek.

"I don't have any medical training or so, but I've researched and seen lots of doctors. My memory loss never meets the profile and… there's the whole "feeling-the-world" thing. Who in their right mind does that?"

"Papillon," Alya whispered,

"She said in their right mind, 'Lya,"

"I know, but Papillon did. Papillon felt negative emotions, and that's how he akumatized people,"

Alya's words resonated on Marinette.

"Your theory! What Juleka said! It makes more sense, right?"

"You are awfully happy for someone who could have deities trapped inside herself," Nino chuckled.

"I've been avoiding answers for so long. You have no idea how great it feels to know and understand what is going on with me,"

"Okay, so as we wait for Adrien to wake up –he is going to wake up, don't worry- do you want to do a q and a?"

Marinette looked at Adrien. He did look at peace now, and he seemed to be sleeping instead of being unconscious. There was nothing else left to do other than to wait.

"Sure, why not?"

xx

Marinette was looking at the board with all the evidence. They sure had taken their time to make it look pretty. It had pictures, posts its, and was organized by a color-code. There were black, red and white strings connecting certain parts of the story.

She started analyzing the facts first, color-coded in green. She began adding pink post it's to every single one of the events that she somehow remembered vividly, or that she had seen in one of her dreams or flashbacks. So far, she had seen a lot of them.

Then, she moved to theories, in orange, adding her own thoughts on the ones she considered to be more probable to have happened.

Right now, she was reading through solo information that they had not been able to connect yet, those were in light blue.

This was harder to understand. To start, they had no idea how all of it connected. How was Marinette going to know? Second, there were certain terms and words that she did not recognize. She assumed they were related to the miraculous, but she did not want to wake up Nino who was sleeping on the floor next to Alya and Adrien, just to understand what they meant; and to end, most of them were just numbers that she couldn't figure it out what they really meant.

She wrote on a post-it beside one of them:

coordinates? page numbers? time? a re clues also number-coded?

"They're page numbers."

Adrien's voice echoed throughout the room.

Marinette got surprised by the sudden voice but hid it. It wasn't the time to look scared because of him not to make jokes about it. She trusted Adrien enough to know how he was going to react if she did do any of these actions, so, she preferred to be as calm and quiet as she could. She was going to let him speak first, then she wouldn't say any unnecessary words and he would be able to spill his feelings to her.

"Thank you," She murmured, turning around to look into his eyes. However, it was impossible to do so because Adrien had his sight fixed on the floor.

"I need to say something, before anything else," Adrien took a deep breath "I can't justify last night actions. I should have never spoke to you the way I did. It is unforgivable."

"It is not," Marinette said.

He had to know. He had to understand that she would always forgive him. "I pushed too far and—"

"No, you did not push too far. You were asking Plagg, and you were damn right to do so, but I interfered and acted crazy. I shouldn't have, there is no excuse, Marinette"

"Hey," Marinette cupped his cheek. He tensed by the touch and finally looked up, meeting her eyes.

"If someone knows a little of not acting like yourself, that's me. I don't remember it, but I feel all the rage and anxiety. It's like a hangover, and guilt takes all over you. You weren't in control of your own body and actions. And just like me, you were not in this world, alright? It was not you, it was… it was the trauma,"

"No, that's not it, this is different from you. You have magical trauma, that is completely out of your control. But as for me, I have a post traumatic disorder that I have not treated. That is my fault. I have let these reactions continue, I haven't learned how to stop them, and because of that, I almost hurt you. I once hurt my boyfriend because of it, and yeah, he said it was okay but I could see in his eyes that it was not okay, because it's not"

"That's not true!" Marinette shouted "Nino said you went to therapy, that you tried! But you and I… we have gone through things no one else understands, things you can't tell anyone about."

"Mar—"

"And if it's someone's fault, then it's mine… I wasn't there for you,"

"No, no, no," Adrien lifted a finger and pointed at her. He was frowning, biting his lips and breathing heavily, "There is no way that this is your fault, Marinette!

"I knew who you were and I kept it a secret! I disappeared from the face of Earth without telling you! This is my fault!"

"Plagg had to use his magic against me, Marinette! Do you think if you revealed our identities and called me every night to check if I was alright, I would have changed how fucked my mind is?"

Adrien was not screaming, but the rage in his voice was terribly worse.

She wanted to scream back. She wanted to assure him that if she had not kept the secret then they wouldn't be in the situation they were in now. She wanted to tell him that she couldn't remember, but that inside her heart and in her mind, there was a pulsing thought that made her sure that things could have been different if she had spoken about it all those years ago. She wanted to tell him that her mind was fucked up too, that she was afraid of getting her memories back because that would mean to find a reason to the suffering, and not knowing made it easier to go through the days, to go through life.

But would it make any changes? She doubted it. Adrien was headstrong and determined. She was just as she was. After all, they were different faces of the same coin.

So, Marinette kept quiet, and stepped back. She would try to fix the problem once Adrien felt more at ease. He had just woken up and realized the situation, the only emotion inside of him was guilt. She needed him to be able to feel more than just one thing, so he could make that clever brain of his work and not his powerful dominating sensible side.

Marinette turned back to the board and kept her focus once again on the facts that shined a light on her.

Adrien did not make any sound as he walked away from her. Years of being a cat-themed superhero had given him the skills of one, but Marinette could still tell where he was moving. At this moment it was just unpleasant; she wished she could just ignore him.

She tried her best to obligate her mind to fully focus on the story in front of her. It was written by Alya.

"Marinette asks Chloé for Adrien's number. They argue. Marinette begs Chloé to not tell Adrien about it, and cries"

Chloé? As in Chloé Bourgeois? From all people, that was the person she selected to look for Adrien. How desperate was she? And why did she need Adrien's number if she knew he was Chat? Why was she so dumb?

She read another one.

"Marinette says she is going to Belgium. Marinette's parents think she is going to the USA. Marinette goes to Tibet, instead"

She knew she wasn't going to go to where she said she would, but, she did not understand why her lies had been so bad.

Marinette was about to read another one, however, a strange and warm sensation wreathed her. She turned around at the door, catching a glimpse of Adrien. He was doing the same as her, an equal odd expression on his face. He too was feeling it.

"Open the door, baby boy! I know you can sense Willem!" The voice of a woman behind the door could be heard. It was like a chiming bell. Beautiful yet startling.

"Who's that?" Marinette whispered frightened. The energy was making her dizzy.

"Help," Adrien gave a little smile. Finally, they were here.

Adrien answered and opened the door to reveal Gabriel and two strangers by his side.

Marinette would have loved to know who they were at that very moment but her organism had other plans in mind.

After feeling a lancing through her heart and the highest spontaneous fever she had ever had, she passed out, falling in the middle of the living room.