I Miss My Home

All were silent before the freshly filled graves, either paying their respects or in too much shock for words. Only a very few thought they should have used this time to focus on preparing for the war against Deepground, but it was heartless to ignore the immense loss of lives over the past few days. As for those whose bodies were never retrieved, a brand new stone pillar stood in place for them, waiting for a memorable epitaph to be etched upon it.

Some of Midgar Area Patrol was allowed to fly over from Junon to attend the brief funeral. Jane and the others shed painful tears over their comrades' graves, unable to accept that their good friends were no longer with them. Not too far away, Lightning felt the guilt weighing down in her heart; the call she made to her squads back in Junon was one of the hardest conversations she ever had in her life. The attack at headquarters was no different than that night in Edge…

People died, had their lives on the line, because of her.

As Lightning felt the stinging tears flood her eyes, she glanced across the small field to see Cloud join the others in their mourning. It was difficult to try and ask for comfort from him, given the circumstances. Despair began to cripple her entire being…and yet she was stuck on what to do.

Once the band of people began to disperse and return to their duties in grief, Reeve motioned for Lightning and Cloud to assemble with him as he talked to one of the pilots within the WRO. "This is Phelps," he introduced when they approached. "He'll fly you over to Midgar, but he'll drop you off in the fields. We don't want to risk another ambush by getting too close."

Lightning nodded. "Yes, sir." As they headed toward the fleets of airships, she and Cloud avoided any eye contact while they were too close together for comfort. Neither said a word to the other since the fight against Azul, their frustration finding no way to be released. Even when they boarded the airship just before take-off, they had went their separate ways – Lightning to the cockpit, and Cloud toward the cabins.

After giving her greetings to the other operatives on board, Lightning looked out the wide window surrounding the cockpit; hundreds of WRO members rushed to their respective stations in preparation for the future battles against Deepground. She hated thinking they were going to risk their lives for a fight she firmly believed was meant for her and Vincent. In the massive chaos surrounding the Planet, the top priority seemed to be capturing the two of them for reasons only known to Deepground. As a part of her wished for Vincent to find something in Nibelheim, it surprised her as to how sudden she started trusting him again. Perhaps she finally understood his role as a tool to the monster inside him – Chaos. It was hardly any different than her being branded as a l'Cie to destroy Cocoon for the deities of her world, and she remembered the crippling helplessness upon learning that her so-called freedom on Cocoon was just a lie.

Being a slave to something about you that can never change…was no way to live.

With a sigh, Lightning turned to retreat toward the cabins, hoping to find some time to rest up after the long fight at headquarters. Strolling through the long row of rooms, she mindlessly glanced from door to door, attempting to clear her mind of the stress until relaxation could finally hit her. It seemed to work…until Cloud showed up on the other side of the hall.

When they first made eye contact, both of them stopped in their tracks, surprised to see the other. An unbearable sensation coursed through Lightning's body while she fought the urge to just run into his arms. Her foot took a small but heavy step forward, and the moment it looked like she was going into motion again, Cloud headed to the closest door and shut himself in the room. Silence rang through the hall once again, only more cold and stagnant.

Lightning swallowed down the giant lump in her throat as she took deep slow breaths. His reactions were arguably reasonable, but nonetheless, she felt lost and helpless. As much as she wanted to take back the words from the conference room…she just couldn't. The thought of returning to Pulse was dangling in front of her on a simple piece of thread, urging her to take action. If she went back to spending her time in finding a way home, perhaps she could go back, and Serah and the others would welcome her back with open arms.

Fighting back the tears, she did her best to continue down the hall in a normal pace, her fists clenched at her sides. Her head was sturdily fixed forward as she passed by Cloud's room; no matter what, she wasn't going to take even a glance to see if he was going to come out.

But it didn't matter. As soon as she was in sight, a hand shot out from the room and pulled her inside, and her vision was greatly obscured by the dim lighting. The door was slammed shut behind her before Lightning found herself shoved against the wall next to it; rough hands gripped her upper arms tightly, and she was left captive. Lips instantly crushed hers into silence, but she never thought of protesting as she crumbled at his touch.

As Cloud's hands snaked down to firmly grip her hips, Lightning made sure their lips were constantly locked together, roughly holding his face close to hers. It was like their bodies could never be close enough to each other, but she was certain of one thing – this time was sure to be different than the last. She could sense the dark emptiness in his actions, as if he was seeking out some kind of lifeboat in the silent turmoil taking hold of his heart. This was all she could offer…at least for the moment.

He let the both of them tiredly slide down to the floor, desperately gasping for air as sweat drenched his face and locks. After struggling to pull his pants up to his waist, Cloud didn't bother fastening it properly. He crawled over to the wall and used the rest of his energy to lean against it, using the moment to recuperate. The clothes glued themselves onto his body, punishing him for refusing to take the time to pull them off.

A few feet away, he saw Lightning lying sluggishly on the floor, her back turned to him. Her body heaved in rhythm as she tried to steady her heart. In his mind, Cloud knew he should have been gentler than he was; if it weren't for the slightest ounce of self-control he retained, her clothes could have been torn to shreds, as well as the black shorts that were thrown close to where he sat.

Even through that, the emptiness inside didn't fade away. It was still there, and every time he glanced toward Lightning, it grew even bigger than before. Clenching his hand into a tight fist, Cloud had no other choice but to accept the truth. He wanted Lightning too much, and the thought of her wanting to leave him behind was unacceptable to him. It was selfish – he knew that much…but the obscured future he saw when his words from yesterday ran through his head was impossible.

'I need her,' he thought greedily to himself. 'I need her here…with me.'

After a few more minutes of dead silence, Lightning slowly got up from her place, shifting her disheveled clothes back to normal. A short alarm rang through the rooms and halls, and the intercom speakers blared with a voice.

"We will arrive in Midgar Area in ten minutes. I repeat: we will arrive in Midgar Area in ten minutes."

Neither said a word as Lightning got up and crossed the room to get her shorts. Cloud watched as she fixed her skirt over them and went back to fasten her gunblade pouch back onto her belt from behind. She slowly ran a hand through her hair once, and her head angled upward to look at the ceiling.

"I miss Pulse, Cloud," she finally murmured in a soft voice. He could hear the pain she tried to fight down, and the clear sincerity of her words struck something inside of him. "I miss my home."

The airship suddenly went into slight turbulence - a sign that they were close to their destination. Cloud couldn't focus on anything around him as the emptiness started twisting him from the inside. All this time, it had been manipulating him to go to such extremes: he scorned Lightning's wishes for his own selfish benefit of keeping her with him, and by driving her into guilt, she had no other choice but to comply. Cloud gritted his teeth with a stiff jaw at how disgusting he was, barely noticing Lightning as she approached the door next to him with a hard face.

"But I keep telling myself it's all right…because you're with me."

Who was he to decide if Lightning stayed or went? Since the beginning, Lightning continued to make sacrifices time and again for the sake of others, and yet this one wish she kept in her heart was the thing he dreaded the most. The reason Cloud wanted her close was to protect the light she brought with her presence. Would that very light die just because he refused to help her get what she desired for so long? Even if they saw this through without the outcome she hoped for, it was uncertain if Lightning would still be able to love him and his primitive need.

When she left the room to prepare for landing, Cloud clenched his hand into a tight fist and slammed it against the wall, seeking out a way to get rid of the frustration that threatened to consume him. Leaving behind or being left behind – which one was harder? More importantly…

How was he supposed to let her go?

Once they hovered over the barren wastelands in the outskirts of Midgar, WRO members aligned themselves next to the ledge on deck, aiming their guns down in case Deepground was aware of their presence. From afar, the ruins seemed relatively peaceful and calm, but all of them dreaded the truth hidden beneath the crumbled tower that was once Shinra Headquarters.

Lightning and Cloud appeared from the door that led to the inside, squinting against the orange sun that was falling over the horizon.

"We'll be on standby over the waters," one of the lieutenants announced.

Lightning nodded, her eyes still fixated on the landscape. "Right. If the situation turns bad, get away as fast as you can and return to headquarters."

"But captain—"

"That's an order," she commanded sternly; she turned to him with hard eyes, and her voice was a bit colder than usual. If there was one thing she could do, it was to save as many lives as possible. Lightning wasn't planning on seeing these men meet the same fates as their comrades…not as long as she was still alive.

The lieutenant obediently complied, and Lightning went to step up on the ledge; the other WRO members watched her in shock and confusion. Though Cloud was silent, he also wondered what was running through her mind. Jumping from this height was suicide, even for those with their kind of physique. As she kept perfect balance despite the blowing wind, Lightning peered back over her shoulder and nodded to the rest of the crew.

"Stay close behind," she told Cloud, and before he could ask what she meant, Lightning suddenly leapt off the rails, diving head first toward the streets of Midgar. Some of the soldiers gasped with fright as they watched her descend, crying out loud if she was sane. Cloud's mind quickly raced; he knew better than to question her flagrant decisions, even when they seemed perilous to say the least.

Choosing not to have any regrets, he went around the group of soldiers watching her fall and climbed up on the rails before jumping off. With one hand over his shoulder to steady his sword, Cloud maneuvered through the air to be precisely behind Lightning, using her red cape as a target. As they increasingly approached the city, he saw an electric blue flash envelop her body once the buildings' shadows grabbed hold of her. Lightning somersaulted in time to land in a clear patch of ground on her feet, unharmed and unscathed as the transparent sheet left a residual circle around her spot. The moment she stood up, her feet shifted out of the circle just before Cloud flipped around to land in the exact same location. He slowly got up, amazed at the feat he and many others deemed impossible.

Once he looked over to Lightning, she already had the Blazefire Saber pulled out in its gun mode, holding it at the ready before starting the way toward the Shinra building. The city was clear of troops or even signs of life, and suspicion immediately rose within them. Taking precaution, they hid themselves well before approaching the headquarters; Cloud darted off to see if the coast was clear, and once he successfully reached the front of the main lobby, he motioned for Lightning to follow and enter along with him.

The Shinra Headquarters seemed to be exactly as Cloud remembered – from the mini monuments scattered throughout the building to the old SOLDIER floor where all SOLDIER operatives reported. Since Meteorfall, not even Deepground bothered to move anything out of place, probably not to alert anyone who came snooping about their presence.

Losing himself in his thoughts, Cloud remembered that fateful day when he was sent to Nibelheim with Zack and Sephiroth – the core of all his troubles. If he was able to truly join SOLDIER and be in Zack's shoes…could he have saved his hometown from its terrible fate?

Without any trouble, he led Lightning to the one elevator that Reeve said only Shinra higher-ups would use, namely Heidegger and Scarlet. Hojo took a couple of trips with it himself, but everyone was too focused on avoiding the man to truly delve into his agenda. It came as little surprise that it was able to work after all this time; both of them remained silent as they boarded and descended to the lower levels, but they kept their weapons at the ready.

When the elevator finally reached the bottom floor, Cloud was the first to get out and trek through the sewer-like pathways. The whirring of mechanisms echoed through the vicinity like a factory, and he began to worry even more about what their enemies were up to. Lightning and Cloud silently made their way past the patrolmen making their rounds – it was best to stay hidden when stuck with but one exit available. One unlucky Deepground soldier happened to catch them just as they turned a sharp corner, but Lightning swiftly rushed up to grip his head and snap his neck in an instant. Before his body could heavily collapse on the floor, Cloud helped Lightning catch it in time and gently lay it down.

A conveyer belt suddenly went into motion above their heads, and a long steel trailer traveled along toward the center of the complex. Listening closely, Lightning heard faint cries echoing within the container; her heart felt like collapsing.

"The civilians!" she gasped quietly before darting off after it. Cloud instantly followed, his eyes flitting around to see if Deepground soldiers had already detected their presence.

"Lightning, wait!"

They maneuvered through the arsenals and obstacles in their path, and the while, Lightning simply focused on the helpless civilians waiting for her to save them. She refused to fail them at any cost…but there was no other choice but to watch as the container suddenly fell into a large pool of green substance. While the screams continued crying out, Lightning frantically looked at her surroundings, hoping to find some way of getting down to save them. Before she tried to scale down the wall, Cloud grabbed her arm to keep her from advancing.

"Let me go!" she growled with a glare.

Cloud refused to ease up. "They were dropped in there for a reason. There might be something—"

He was instantly cut off by a deep tremor within the complex, and the both of them struggled to keep their balance and keep themselves from following the container into the liquid. When they looked back into the neon green pool, the container continued to float along the surface…until a colossal hand shot up from its depths and pulled the container down. Cries were no longer heard through the complex, now replaced by dead silence. Lightning gasped before turning back to bury her face into Cloud's chest, while he stood there ghostly pale with a hanging jaw.

"Sacrifices…" The mass amount of people abducted finally made sense to him. From all over the Planet, with such random disappearances, the people weren't merely taken hostage, but to be subsidized for a much darker purpose.

Lightning struggled to keep herself from breaking down as she looked back to the green pool in horror. "What the hell was that thing?!"

"Usher of souls…"

The eerie low voice came from behind Cloud, prompting the two of them to turn around and find a dark portal appearing before them. A mysterious figure emerged in a Deepground mako suit, though his sleeves were secured over his shoulders. As long ebony hair trailed down his back, a pair of mechanical wings extended from his backside, slightly twitching while he slowly approached Lightning and Cloud.

One of the wings abruptly extended toward Lightning; Cloud stepped in between them and glared into the blood red eyes, for the rest of his face was obscured by strips of metal. "Will you not come quietly?" he asked with feign manners.

Gritting his teeth, Cloud easily figured out the reason for his presence. "He's a Tsviet…" Though they were successful in avoiding the grunts, they couldn't run from the elites' watchful eyes for long. He saw the man's eyes fixated on Lightning, who was caught between Cloud's protection and the long drop into the green pool. Fighting the man would certainly be futile, given they had little to no chance against his dark powers.

"Lightning, run!"

Once she took off down the slim path on her left, Cloud darted after her. They raced toward nowhere, but all that mattered was getting as far away from the man as possible. Lightning dared to take a glance over her shoulder, and pitch black darkness seemed to be hot on their trails. It reminded her of the chaos that consumed her back on Pulse, and in the farthest part of her mind, she wondered exactly where this entity came from.

All of a sudden, the ground trembled beneath their feet; concrete began to shift, and Cloud released a brief cry from behind her. As her heart felt like dropping, Lightning stopped and spun on her heel. A large hole appeared where Cloud briefly stood, filled with a bottomless supply of liquefied mako energy that flowed in a similar fashion to water.

Before she could scream out in fright, she noticed Cloud's desperate hands clutching onto the ledge of the hole, struggling against the tremors of the ground. Lightning tried to make her way to help him, but dark waves soon reached her and wrapped themselves around her slim neck. Her hands flew up in an attempt to wrench them off, but they seemed to pass through the negative energy, rendering any hope of surviving useless.

As she chokingly gasped for air, a firm hand gripped onto her ankle tightly, and Lightning felt herself be dragged down past ground level. The darkness thrashed wildly before her eyes until the bright green glow shined all around her. She turned herself around and saw Cloud's wide eyes before they drowned in the glowing mako around them…and her mind went blank.

4/28/13 - I edited a tiny bit due to some physics technicality a reviewer pointed out. At first, I said screw it, since this was a fantasy fanfic where the rules of physics don't apply much. I mean, seriously - have you seen the fights in Advent Children? However, I actually described it in such a descriptive way, having it turn out completely wrong kinda irked me. So I changed the wording around.