Chapter 14: Acceptance and Regret go hand in hand
Part 2
This was not how it was supposed to be. His Obi-Wan, his Anakin, were fighting each other and Qui-Gon could do nothing to stop them. Without the Force, he was helpless.
For a moment, he just stood there, thinking of what to do next. He could hear faint snarls of Anakin's anger and Obi-Wan's whispered appeals as the two fought but the Jedi Padawan was beside him, imprisoning him. He was much larger than Atel, but she had the Force on her side and he did not.
So he watched as the two were battling it out, his heart aching with grief.
Finally, he had had enough. He started forward, his bound hands held before him as he moved to intercept the pair. But quick as thought, Atel grabbed his arm, yanking him back. Slightly off-balance, he bumped into her, hissing, "They could get hurt. Let me help."
Le'orath moved forward, catching one manacled hand with her anxious fingers. Eyes wild with emotion, she pulled him close. "Qui-Gon, can you help Anakin?"
"Le', it's not Anakin that I'm worried about." His voice was laced with concern.
Atel looked at him with disbelief. "Do you think me a fool, Jinn? Master Obi-Wan can hold his own against any half-trained boy."
He didn't answer. A sharp crack of skin against skin tore his attention away from Atel and back toward the fight.
The struggle was intensifying. Anakin was wading in, his fist streaking toward Obi-Wan. Buthis oldPadawandanced away and then leaped over Anakin as he tried to pummel him again.
The aerial retreat failed when Anakin feigned with his own fast jump, fist connecting with Obi-Wan's stomach, doubling him over as he fell grounds ward. Soon, the pair were both bloodied. The onslaught of bruising attacks was beginning to take their toll.
"You are the fool." Qui-Gon's voice was hurried with anxiety. "Anakin is more than capable. If this fight escalates to lightsabers, Obi-Wan will be in serious trouble. Let me stop it before that happens."
She snorted in disbelief and ignored his plea, turning back to watch Obi-Wan grapple with his young attacker.
Qui-Gon grew even more concerned. Obi-Wan might not know how well-trained Anakin was. And any assumptions could be painful or even fatal. This fight needed to be stopped and soon.
Anakin pushed forward defiantly, sweeping in with a flying kick, trying to end the conflict in his favor. But Obi-Wan moved impossibly fast, his upper torso twisting as he shifted abruptly, intent on capturing Anakin's outstretched leg and bringing him down.
Anakin must have realized his mistake because he tried to compensate by flinging his body away from Obi-Wan, hoping to regain control. The pebbles beneath his feet shifted abruptly under the strain, throwing him off-balance. He fell awkwardly, a mere breath away from Obi-Wan's grasp.
In a blur of motion, Obi-Wan was on him, flinging him face down onto the gravel path. Anakin's chest plowed into the stones, one hand locked behind his back, the other out-flung but tightly bound by the Jedi's own. Obi-Wan pressed his body into Anakin's, forcing him to remain still.
Anakin tried desperately to break free but could not; he was caught tight.
Obi-Wan leaned forward, speaking gently, "Anakin, I am not your enemy." He nodded back towards Qui-Gon. "I am not his enemy."
Anakin struggled, trying to gain some purchase to break free. "Liar." He twisted hard but to no avail. "I've seen the future, Jedi. You and your precious Council are going to torture him. I've seen it!"
"No, that can't be true. You must be mistaken."
"No mistake, Jedi. And it's all your fault." Anakin growled, lifting his head, his sharp blue eyes meeting turbulent grey ones.
Obi-Wan was adamant. "I promise. I won't let that happen." His reply softened, "I don't want to take him back either, Anakin. But he insists on going. Help me to stop…. "
Interrupting Obi-Wan, rocking his body back and forth in a seemingly futile attempt at escape, Anakin hissed, "He's a damn fool. And so are you..." With that, his fingers fluttered lightly.
Anakin must have used the Force. The air was suddenly ablaze with movement, an astounding whirlwind of energies aimed straight for Obi-Wan. And with that energy came a cacophony of sand and rock, the very gravel from the path lifting and smashing into Obi-Wan's body.
Obi-Wan had very little time to react, raising his arm in a futile attempt at protecting his face. In the few moments of startled reflex, Anakin flung him off and scrambled away to evade the whirlwind of air and stone battering the Jedi.
As he struggled to stand, the sharp-edged pebbles continued to pummel Obi-Wan. A thumb-sized rock swiftly scored one cheek, sending a trickle of blood down his jaw as the granite rubble battered his face.
Qui-Gon was horrified. He'd taught Anakin how to fight, to use whatever materials were on at hand to defend himself but this was not defense. It was abomination. He shouted out, "Anakin, no!" But it was lost in the sounds of battle.
As he watched, frantic to do something, anything to stop the fight, Obi-Wan was being pummeled from all sides with a noisy blast of dirt and debris. Finally, his old Padawan managed to send a frantic Force push back into the barrage of rock, stemming their fierce onslaught. The clatter of falling stone was loud in the sudden silence.
Wiping his face with one blood-streaked sleeve, Obi-Wan looked at the young Bendu with astonishment. "How did you do that?"
Anakin snorted, "It's a child's game. Seeing how much you can put into the air at one time. Don't you Jedi ever go outside and play?"
"Not like that." Obi-Wan frowned at the thought. "What other tricks has Qui-Gon taught you?"
"That one I thought of all on my own, Jedi." The smile did not reach his fierce eyes.
"Impressive."
"Yeah, I'm just full of surprises." Frowning in deep concentration, Anakin pulled out his lightstaff and thumbed on the dual switches.
The twin blades gleamed a brilliant green in the dusky air, the doubled sound of humming clear and loud. Anakin stood there, resentment and battle-frenzy hard on his face, waiting for the right moment. Then, blurring with Force-heightened speed, he vaulted forward, one searing edge swinging down towards Obi-Wan's torso.
Atel and Qui-Gon both raised their voices in horror but Obi-Wan had no time to listen.
Instead, he back-wheeled furiously, bringing up his own saber in a flash of blue flame as Anakin's swerving blade missed by millimeters. The second green tip swept roughly upward, aiming for his hip as Obi-Wan frantically blocked the cut. Then the right blade moved impossibly fast, the descent so swift that the trail of green fire was all that the eye could see. Obi-Wan's blade was a blur, halting the staff in midstroke.
Before Anakin's left blade could begin its climb again, Obi-Wan lashed out with his boot, stabbing towards his vulnerable knee.
Anakin must have felt the movement. He shifted slightly, the foot impacting the upper shin instead. But the blow must have sent a sheet of agony through the muscles and ligaments around the joint because Anakin grunted in pain as he collapsed.
The emerald staff flashed off briefly as Anakin rolled away, hissing in pain. Then struggling to stand, he ignited the lightstaff once more. A green blaze danced across his sullen face as he stared at the Jedi.
Obi-Wan stopped. There was still a chance to prevent further bloodshed and it looked like he was trying to diffuse the thunderclouds of jealous fury sweeping over Anakin's face. His voice gentled, "Anakin, you don't want to do this. I am not your enemy."
Anakin huffed at that. "I believe you said that before. Saying it again will not make it any less a lie." He shifted painfully, his emerald lightstaff a glowing counterpoint to the thickening gloom.
"Don't do this, Anakin. It will only end in tragedy."
"Yes, it will. Yours, Jedi."
And with that, Anakin moved forward, his limp now imperceptible as he lunged for the Knight. He feigned the staff high then quickly flicked the left blade low pass Obi-Wan's guard, singeing his tunic as he danced away.
The Jedi's eyes narrowed, concentrating on following the movements, looking for weakness.
As the fight escalated, as the flurry of thrusts and parries between the two intensified into an ethereal blaze of deadly color, another struggle was taking place nearby. Qui-Gon Jinn watched with horrified eyes as Obi-Wan and Anakin began to batter each other with searing light, the scars of harsh energy appearing on cloth and skin.
He had to do something, anything to keep them from this foolish conflict. Releasing Le'orath, he jerked out of Atel's inattentive grip and began to move towards them once more.
The Padawan leapt in front of him again, hissing fiercely. One hand was raised in denial, the other hovered over the worn lightsaber at her side. "Where do you think you are going?"
"To stop this." He growled at her, his anxious eyes never leaving the savage rush of unexpected battle, his body leaning forward, frantic to reach the grappling pair.
Even as he watched, Obi-Wan flew backwards over the speeder, a soft grunt joining the noise of flying gravel as Anakin created another Force storm, stones and dirt whirling towards the Jedi's head. Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet, azure lightsaber ready as one steady hand pushed the chaotic debris back towards Anakin.
But he only ducked out of harm's way and nodded agreeably to Obi-Wan. Admiration briefly lit his young face before his eyes narrowed again. Leaping up onto the speeder and down again, he moved the staff in a quick slashing motion and the deadly dance began once more.
Qui-Gon sharply thrust his hand toward the dueling pair, almost frantic in his attempt to make her realize the truth, that Obi-Wan may yet lose. It would only take one mistake. "Look at them, Atel. Reach out with your feelings and see what is really going on. Anakin is strong in the Force, stronger than any living Jedi, and he is well-trained."
He held his breath for a moment as Obi-Wan thrust his lightsaber forward and up, almost cutting Anakin's lightstaff in half. But Qui-Gon knew that his apprentice had felt the movement. He saw the youth jerk back, out of reach as Obi-Wan pressed his advantage, slashing with lethal accuracy. It hurt to watch.
Turning to the Padawan, he spat, "Blast it, trust your instincts and look!"
Both manacled hands reached for her arm, bruising in its strength and fear, and yet there must have been something in his desperate eyes that moved her to turn and witness the ongoing melee. His voice was harsh with apprehension. "I need to stop this before they kill each other."
Even as Qui-Gon spoke, it was clear that Anakin was not done yet. His blue eyes seemed to mist over for a moment, then from behind Obi-Wan, a large tree branch arrowed its way towards the Jedi's unguarded back.
Obi-Wan was no inexperienced warrior and he must have sensed the unseen danger. Twisting at the last possible second, he avoided the projectile only to have Anakin pull up with the green blade, scoring through leggings and shallow flesh. He hissed as the pain flared but he managed to escape, leaping over the speeder and moving to regroup.
Atel grunted, an echo of Obi-Wan's pain, "Master, no." Turning quickly, she spat at the Bendu champion. "Stay here."
As she raced away, Qui-Gon's mouth hardened with rebellion. Waiting for a few precious moments, he ignored her rough command and hurried toward the fray. As long as the Force binders shimmered with polluted light, he was helpless to use his powers. But he must be ready. Powers or no, he must do what was needed to end this conflict.
Atel didn't stop him. Instead, as he followed her into the battle arena, Atel pulled out her lightsaber and rushed to Obi-Wan's side. Her violet blade was a stark counterpoint to his blue saber.
Obi-Wan glanced down at her and gave a brief grin. "Glad you could join me. I could use a little help." His eyes flicked to Qui-Gon standing close by and then, turning back to Anakin, he called out, "Stand down before it's too late."
Qui-Gon echoed the command, "Stop this, Anakin." But his apprentice just shook his head.
"No, I've got to save you, Master."
And with that, he slid over the back of the speeder, using his momentum to fly at Obi-Wan, his staff a blur of emerald light as he tried to strike at both with one killing sweep. Atel leaped out of the way but abruptly turned as he rocketed past, his vulnerable back exposed.
She leaned forward to strike at Anakin. But he must have sensed her movement and arched wildly, blocking her saber's upward journey while Obi-Wan's blade met his low and pushed, twisting the emerald blade down as the sizzling sound of sabersong split the air. Atel disengaged, then spiraled in, cutting at his legs, trying to distract him enough for her Master.
Anakin leapt away just as Obi-Wan slashed dead center and cut the lightstaff in half. One end sputtered and died, clattering to the ground. He growled and backpedaled quickly out of reach.
Instantly, Obi-Wan pressed the attack. Dancing forward, pushing Anakin back with the thrust of his blue blade, he began to hammer the youth with a flurry of attacks as Atel moved in from the side.
Anakin looked like he was starting to tire as he defended against the twin onslaught. Stepping back, parrying wildly, low and high as he met each blade with his own, he gathered his strength to make one final attempt at driving the Jedi away.
Breathing sharply, his eyes flicked to the fist-sized stones near the porch. The rocks began to tremble. Anakin thrust forward once more, forcing both Jedi back, then disengaging for an instant, backpedaling, and reached out to throw the granite debris at the Jedi.
Anakin must have felt the muted Force presence of Qui-Gon behind him. He shifted slightly so that Qui-Gon was out of the way of the onslaught, clearly trying to protect his Master while fighting the Jedi.
But instead of moving aside and away from harm, Qui-Gon stepped closer.
As his apprentice raised his arm to begin the assault, Qui-Gon swung both manacled hands toward Anakin's head, clipping him soundly. He dropped like a stone, dazed, looking furious and confused with this unexpected attack.
Instantly, Qui-Gon knelt by his side, then leaned over his body, holding him down, talking to him in desperate, urgent tones. "Anakin, you need to stop. You are not helping me with this, young one."
Atel ran up, pointing her blade at his throat. Perhaps she'd hoped to make Anakin understand that the fight was finished and he had lost. But Obi-Wan pulled her back, shaking his head, and thrusting binder cuffs at her, gestured toward the defeated Anakin. "We need to secure him quickly before he can do more damage."
"Yes, Master." She moved to Qui-Gon's side. Careful to remain out of reach of the still-groggy Anakin, she glanced at them both. Qui-Gon was pressing his apprentice down, determined to stop any further attacks, but he gazed up at her for a moment, defeat in his eyes.
Atel knelt quickly, bringing out the Force cuffs and pressing the first onto one stiff wrist. The blue glow began to sparkle as it powered up but Anakin, blinking rapidly as he gained strength after the stunning assault, resisted the pull of the manacles. Snapping the other cuff on proved to be a challenge as the youth tried to crawl from beneath Qui-Gon's grasp. But at last, the two shackles were joined; she stepped back quickly.
The sapphire light sizzled as the tendrils of cold fire flowed around Anakin's hands and he hissed in pain. Thrusting his bound hands towards Qui-Gon, his eyes darkened in confusion. "Why, Master? Why did you let them do this?" His furious gaze melted into defeat. "It hurts."
"The ache will subside in time." But the question remained unanswered.
Both looked up as Le'orath and Ben approached; the child was huddled tight against her tunic. Smoothing one loving hand over her husband's hunched shoulder, she peered anxiously at the struggling apprentice. "Anakin, are you all right?"
"I will be when these binders..." His frustration at the situation seemed to escalate as Anakin glanced up.
Qui-Gon followed his gaze. Standing nearby, Obi-Wan and Atel were watching them both. It seemed to infuriate Anakin and he struggled to push past his Master and get to his feet. Qui-Gon was immovable.
"Master, let me up! I can still save you if only..." Once more, he tried to shove Qui-Gon aside but he would not be dislodged.
His voice was harsh with condemnation. "Anakin, you disobeyed me." His eyes ice-hard, Qui-Gon looked down at his wayward apprentice.
Anakin stilled at that, looking as if he was suddenly afraid to hear more. "I had to, Master. They will destroy you if you go back to the Temple. My visions…I had to stop the Jedi before it was too late."
"I had already made my decision. You had no right to interfere." Qui-Gon shook his head.
The youth's eyes flashed with cobalt fire, his head lifting in urgent reply. "I had every right. Sacrifice yourself for them?? So they can... no, he's not worth it, Master, not worth your life."
"Anakin, it is my choice and my sacrifice." His voice was saturated with indignation.
Frowning at that, the apprentice spat back, "So that's it then. You'd rather go with him than stay here with me...with us?"
Qui-Gon drew back, surprised. "Is that what this is all about? You're jealous of Obi-Wan?"
Anakin quickly shook his head, his eyes flicking to Obi-Wan, to Le'orath, and back again. "No, it's just..." His mouth grew hard. "That's all you think about, that gundark and his little pet. Shouldn't Ben and your wife and, yes even me, be more important than those Jedi hypocrites? And it is your life now. Don't throw it away on them. Please..."
Qui-Gon sighed, heavy with the burden of what was to come. His apprentice was not the only one with visions of the future. "This has nothing to do with what I want, but what the Force wants. Feel the rightness of this, Anakin. See beyond the loss. It is what I must do." Softly spoken, the statement seemed to penetrate the youth's duracreet shields.
Anakin's reply was rough despair. "I don't want you to go."
"I know." Qui-Gon looked down at Anakin, now lying quiescent beneath him. "My apprentice, you realize that you have assaulted Republic representatives while they were on a mission. They have every right to arrest you and judge you here and now. It is possible that you will go to prison for some time for this offense."
For the first time since the scuffle began, Anakin hesitated, uncertain, "I didn't want...I just wanted them to leave us alone. But they didn't seem to be able to take the hint."
"They are well within their rights to take you. Anakin, I needed your obedience in this. I wanted you here, to continue your training with the Bendu, to help protect my family, to keep you safe. But now..." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather the strength to do what must be done. "An apprentice of the Bendu obeys his Master's instructions at all times. If he does not, the Master has the right to cast him aside."
Anakin's eyes flew wide at that. "No, Master, please. I..."
Qui-Gon continued as if there had been no interruption. "If the Master so chooses, he may deliver up the apprentice to senior members of the Bendu Philosophical Group for justice or to any other authority he deems worthy of impartiality and fairness."
"No, Master, don't." His apprentice gazed at him, looking as if he couldn't believe what was happening. "Please no..."
Rising to his feet, Qui-Gon reached down and pulled Anakin up sharply. The youth seemed stunned, blinking in angry confusion as he stared unseeing at the ground before him. As Qui-Gon turned towards Obi-Wan, his hands still gripping his young apprentice with heart-broken strength, he looked into the grey eyes of his old Padawan.
"Knight Kenobi, I present my apprentice to you for judgment. Know that he mistakenly thought to protect me with this rashness but it is no excuse. He had agreed to abide by my commands while under my tutelage. He has not done so in this case. Do with him what you must." The words were harsh but Qui-Gon's eyes begged for understanding.
Le'orath's hand gripped her husband's shoulder with surprising strength. "Oh, Qui-Gon, no." But when he reminded her that Anakin must learn that there are consequences to his actions, she stood there, her mouth an unhappy line and said nothing.
Resolute, Obi-Wan drew himself up. He stood there, bruised and hazy with dirt, and stared at Anakin. Wiping away one small trickle of blood now coursing down his torn cheek, his voice rasped. "Anakin, what do you have to say?"
Anakin's blue eyes were fierce with anguish as he shifted under Qui-Gon's grip. "Master, please don't."
But he ignored his apprentice's plea, looking straight ahead and did not answer.
Anakin stiffened as he stared at the Knight, a touch of desperation in his voice. "I only wanted to help Master Qui-Gon. He should not be made to be the sacrifice you require."
"Did you think killing me would help Qui-Gon?" The words were quietly spoken.
Anakin swallowed hard. He must have realized that his efforts had been in vain, that Qui-Gon would leave with the Jedi. He looked ill.
His response was hesitant at first. "No, I never meant... I only wanted you to leave...to leave us all alone. I thought I could scare you away." Anakin's voice grew sullen with remembered indignation and the futility of his cause. "But you wouldn't go. And I kept having to push harder. And still you wouldn't go."
Moving his hand slowly up to wipe away the drying blood, showing Anakin the smears of brown and red staining his ragged sleeve, Obi-Wan grimaced wryly, "I believe you got your point across."
"But you haven't gone." His frustration seemed parsecs deep.
"We will be leaving soon enough." Obi-Wan's voice was laced with regret. "With Master Jinn."
Anakin drew desperate again, leaning forward, jerking out of Qui-Gon's tight grasp, and then frowning, shaking his head at Obi-Wan. "Damn it, Jedi. Haven't you been listening at all? For once, do what is right."
"Young one, it is far too late for that."
The words seemed to shake Anakin as he glowered at the Jedi. Finally, with jaw clenched and hooded eyes, he turned his head towards the cloud-tipped mountains. He stood there quietly, seemingly calm. But his hands were anxious, trying to escape the azure fire of the binders.
It hurt Qui-Gon to watch.
Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon, frowning. "What would a Bendu mediator do in this case?"
His eyes flicking once to Anakin before returning to Obi-Wan's concerned gaze, Qui-Gon considered the question for a moment. "For disobedience, guided meditation. For aggressive fighting, isolation for a day, a week, a month depending on the reason. For attacking another such as Anakin has done, isolation, shunning; expulsion may be required or imprisonment. For killing in anger, punishment according to the laws of Naboo."
Obi-Wan thought about it, looked like he was carefully mulling over the options. "The same as with the Jedi. And what do you want me to do, Master?"
Qui-Gon's response was straightforward. "I will not cast him out but attacking without provocation must be punished. Do what you must, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan turned toward the sullen apprentice. "Anakin Skywalker, you said that you wished to help Master Qui-Gon." The young man nodded sharply, then straightened, waiting for his fate to be decided. "I believe that you are sincere." Anakin's eyes began to lighten in relief but Obi-Wan was not finished. "You taught me a great deal today, Anakin. Uses of the Force that I had never contemplated. For this, I am grateful and I thank you for my lesson."
Obi-Wan drew in a hoarse breath, "But disobedience in an apprentice is not acceptable nor are unwarranted attacks." He took a step closer, steadily staring at him. "Will you obey your Master and accept my judgment?"
Anakin's bitter eyes flicked towards Qui-Gon and back to the Jedi, his indignant face a study in resentment. "Why should I? You are not my Master."
"No, I am not, but he has asked that I decide on the punishment for your rash actions." Obi-Wan lifted his head, quiet resolve and determined strength in his stance. "So I will make it very simple. You can accept my judgment here or we can take you back to Coruscant to stand trial before the Jedi Council. They will be less pleased than I." He paused, "Do I have your word?"
Anakin narrowed his eyes, huffing with deep frustration, looking like he wanted to continue the fight but knowing also that he could not. Finally, teeth gritted, with no options of escape and apparently incensed at his own inept failure, his response was curt. "Yes, Jedi, you have my word."
Obi-Wan straightened, folding his arms across his chest and staring at the young apprentice. "Hear this and obey, Anakin Skywalker. Say no good-byes to Master Jinn but turn and walk away."
The youth started at that, frowning, and moved to object. But he subsided when Qui-Gon sent him a scathing glare, reminding him - Anakin had given his word and he must keep it.
Obi-Wan continued, "Do not look back but go straight to Master Windu. He will be able to remove the binders. You are to explain your actions to him, including your motivations - all of them - jealousy, anger, hatred. Leave nothing out. He will determine your punishment for disobedience."
Obi-Wan looked again at Qui-Gon, who nodded in grateful relief. He continued wearily, "Tell Master Windu that, when your atonement is complete, you are to stay at the Bendu complex for six months - isolated. Talk to no one. Interact with no one. Since you will have plenty of time to reflect on your transgressions, begin to rebuild some of the Sanctuary's fallen masonry. I'm sure that Mace has a list of items that will need repair."
He stared pointedly at the apprentice. "Anakin, one final thing. No use of the Force is to be permitted during this time with the sole exception of defense for yourself or others. A little sweat, a little hard labor might help your outlook."
Anakin seemed bewildered, "Is that all?"
Obi-Wan shot back, "Isn't that enough?" At Anakin's quick nod, he spoke again. "When all of this is finished, your punishment will be complete. And forgiven."
Qui-Gon was relieved. He had known Obi-Wan would act fairly and honorably but the Jedi apprentice would likely be less accepting of his decisions.
In fact, Atel was incensed. Leaning close to Obi-Wan, a fierce burr of anger in her voice, she hissed, "How can you say that, Master? Anakin attacked you...with deadly force. He deserves to be arrested and brought up for trial. He should be in prison, not this."
"Padawan, my judgment is final." She scowled at that but subsided. Her glower promised of long argument later.
Qui-Gon was paying little attention. He had his own pain. Anakin had tried to hurt others in defense but still, he should have obeyed him. Now his apprentice would have to accept his punishment, would have to do what was right, would have to realize that, instead of remaining with Le'orath and Ben, he would be isolated for six months. Qui-Gon knew that was the hardest punishment of all for his young charge.
Even now, he could feel the weight of Anakin's stare. It was as if he were trying to communicate with Qui-Gon on some fundamental level, without words, without being able to use the Force.
But Qui-Gon ignored his apprentice. It was too late. The punishment was set. It had already begun and he would honor it, much as it pained him to do so.
Obi-Wan's voice was hard and unyielding. "Anakin, go now. Do as I have said. Remember that you have given your word to obey."
The apprentice snapped back, "I will not forget this, Jedi."
Out of the corner of his eye, Qui-Gon could see Anakin's fierce frown, the lines of indignation and failure on his face. Much as he wanted to say something, he did not. Instead he watched as his apprentice turned abruptly away and began to stride quickly towards the north, towards the Bendu Sanctuary.
He did not glance at Qui-Gon as he left. Anakin kept his word; he did not look back.
For a moment, there was silence as Qui-Gon turned to look at his family for one last time. He did not know if he would ever return. His visions, Anakin's visions, Ben's visions did not show much beyond future agony.
But the Force was not to be denied. He would go to Coruscant and meet his fate there.
Obi-Wan must have realized that Qui-Gon needed some moments alone with his family. Wordlessly, he gathered up the torn cloak and tossed it into the speeder and moved away slightly, gesturing for his apprentice to follow. Atel did not protest this time. She must also have understood the need to make their final farewells in private.
It was his son that broke the impasse of silence. Ben tugged on his mother's tunic as one small fist brushed away the wetness on his soft cheek, his luminous eyes swimming. "Mommy, when is Anakin coming home?"
Kneeling down, Le'orath gathered Ben in her arms, clinging to him tightly. "Oh, Ben, I don't know. He has to stay with the Bendu for a while."
Ben's small voice piped clearly, "For not listening to Daddy?" She nodded at that but the child turned towards his father, staring at him with wide blue eyes brimming with tears. "Is Daddy going away now, too?"
The hesitation in her words was a poignant reminder that Le'orath was also on the verge of tears. Only the determination to remain strong for the child kept the strangling emotions at bay for both of them. "Yes, Ben, he is."
"I don't want him to, Mommy. They're going to hurt him." He pointed to Obi-Wan, his chubby fingers wavering at the Knight. "He's a bad man for taking Daddy away. I don't like him. Make him go, Mommy."
Le'orath buried her face in Ben's bright hair, her breath hitching as she tried to maintain control. "Oh, Ben, I only wish I could."
Qui-Gon stepped forward and knelt beside his wife, his bound hands reaching for the young boy. The bright azure sparks of light danced across the Bendu's wrists, encasing them in light, but the child did not care. He began to whimper as he let go of Le'orath and threw his arms around Qui-Gon's neck. "Don't go, Daddy."
He leaned into the embrace, his bearded face gently nuzzling his son's wet cheeks. He whispered quietly, "My Ben, I don't want to leave but I must." He drew his head back, trying to meet the boy's eyes. But the child held on tightly and Qui-Gon fell back into his son's arms.
"Ben, do you remember what I told you about duty?" The tenuous shake of the red-gold head and the faint catch of a quiet sob told Qui-Gon that his son was listening, however reluctantly. "Sometimes, we have to do what is required of us even if it hurts. I need to leave with Obi-Wan." The child only gripped tighter, not wanting to let go. "And I could use your help with Mommy."
The child's reply was muffled, his face still buried in Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Mommy?"
"Yes, Ben. Mommy will be very sad when I leave. She will need you to keep her company and make her feel better. Do you think you can do that?" A tentative nod and Ben drew back, looking at his father's plaintive face.
Qui-Gon's smile was laced in sorrow. "Now, little one, I need to say goodbye to Mommy. Can you give me a goodbye hug?"
Ben's eyes grew huge, swimming again, and tears tracked down his cheek. He tightened his grip once more, his face digging into Qui-Gon's neck, burrowing in. The boy's quiet whisper was halting, the pain of loss coloring his voice. "I love you, Daddy."
Qui-Gon's throat tightened unbearably, "I love you, too, Ben. Never forget that." He leaned into the downy cheek and then gave him a gentle kiss, murmuring, "Love you."
The child squeezed him tightly for a moment, then loosening his hold on his father's neck, stepped back and huddled against his mother.
Qui-Gon stood rapidly, extending his bound hands towards Le'orath, inviting her to stand with him one last time. She looked up at him, angry jade eyes shimmering in the gloomy overcast.
Le'orath stormed to her feet, her arms crossed in furious resentment. She hissed at him. "So you're leaving then. Abandoning your family for Jedi."
Qui-Gon blinked rapidly, surprised at his wife's obvious indignation. "Le', you know that I had no choice. Let our last moments together..."
She interrupted, bitter irony in her voice. "You had a choice. You could have run away and come back later. They would never have been able to find you and you know it. Instead, duty wins again. Over me, over Ben, even over Anakin. Well, you can take your duty and…." She shivered, curling inward as if cold. Her face was suddenly wet with tears as she turned away, angrily brushing at her cheeks and staring at the stones beneath her feet. The silvered, cloud-swept mountains framed her in stormy half-light.
His first light touch was rejected with one swift jerk of her shoulder. But as he persisted, tenderly touching her back with his large hands, making soft circles to gentle the harsh stiffness in her stance, she began to lean into his caress. One hushed sob was heard as he began to speak, "Le', you knew when you married me that duty would come first. It always has and always will. But you should know that this is the hardest thing I will ever do... to leave you like this."
She whirled abruptly, grabbing his shoulders and dragging him close. "Blast it, Qui-Gon Jinn, you are the most irritating, stubborn man on the planet." She reached up, one questing, fervent hand caressing the rough silk of his beard. "I love you, you foolish gundark."
"I know." He turned his head for a moment, kissing her palm, then looked intently at the lines and planes of his wife's beloved face. He wanted to experience all of her in this moment, to memorize her image in his heart.
She smiled tremulously at that. "What do you know? That I love you or that you are foolish?"
"Both, Le'orath. Both."
And then she pulled him close, kissing his mouth as if it were the last time she would ever taste or touch him. His manacled hands followed the pulse-points of her throat upward, cupping her face as they embraced, trying to drink her in. Clinging to each other in a tumult of emotion, it seemed as if they were trying to make the moment last an eternity. But all moments must end.
At last, with one lingering caress, Qui-Gon stepped back, his eyes intense with grief and longing. "I will always love you, Le'orath." He turned swiftly away, moving towards the speeder. Stiff with loss, his voice cracked abruptly as he told Obi-Wan, "Let's go."
Obi-Wan nodded in sympathy. Signaling his Padawan, both Jedi moved in, surrounding Qui-Gon, shepherding him into the passenger seat. Atel took the back and as Obi-Wan began to drive away, Le'orath shouted out, "Kenobi, I won't forget this."
As he watched his family fade into the distance, Qui-Gon knew that he would not forget this either. It would remain with him until the end of his days.