A/N: Sorry angst lovers...I didn't have the stomach (or the heart) to go through with my original plan for this chapter

Joe tried to kiss Justin. They'd just turned the corner. Joe pushed Justin against the building and pressed his body against Justin's. He was rarely this forceful, this impulsive. But Justin was beautiful. So beautiful. A little chunky, but Joe didn't mind. All he could see were Justin's plump red lips and his light, light blue eyes, sparkling in the darkness. Joe looked into those glittering orbs (yes, he was smitten to the point of wishing to write bad poetry) and smiled. Somehow he missed the discomfort lying therein. He took the flush creeping up Justin's neck as arousal rather than anxiety and annoyance and anger. Then Joe leaned in. Slowly. So slowly. Now that he'd cornered his quarry, he didn't want to rush. His entire body tingled with increasing intensity as he drew nearer.

When his lips were a hair's breadth away from Justin's, and his cock already throbbing, Justin turned his head and even pushed the man away. Joe was momentarily stunned. But he persisted. Perhaps Justin simply didn't like kissing. A shame, but not a deal breaker. He stepped closer and rubbed Justin's cock (which was still hard from his encounter with Brian) through the fabric of his pants. Joe whispered, "You're hard, and fucking huge." He laughed softly. "I guess pictures don't lie."

When Joe squeezed Justin's cock, Justin drew his breath in sharply and then started panting. Justin's stomach turned a little. He didn't want to be enjoying this. He wanted every part of himself to reject that which he didn't truly desire. Joe whispered huskily, "Let me suck you off."

Justin didn't know how they'd gone from light chit chat to blow job propositions, in just a couple of minutes, though, admittedly, it took a lot less time at Babylon. Just a glance and the thought, "You'll do." Justin didn't know he shouldn't be surprised. He'd been a boyfriend most of his adult life, short a time though that had been, and after that, he'd been heavier and therefore less attractive.

Justin actually considered saying yes. He was angry and hurt, and he felt completely rejected. Bitterly, he thought, Brian had probably gone back to Babylon, or to some other club, to pick up a trick. To fuck someone else. Brian had been playing with Justin for weeks, probably still tricking the whole time. It wasn't fair. So Justin leaned back against the wall and let his eyes flutter closed as Joe frantically unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Justin licked his lips and swallowed hard when Joe swiped his tongue over the head. Then Joe wrapped his lips tightly around Justin's cock and started drawing it into his mouth. When the tip hit the back of Joe's throat, Justin moaned softly. But a flash drew Justin out of the warm sea of pleasure into which he'd been drifting. Brian tracing Justin's belly button with his tongue. Followed by a giggle, his, and then a smile, Brian's. He blinked a few times to quell the tears that that memory had brought barreling to the surface, shook his head, and pushed Joe away. He hastily pulled up his jeans and fastened them, muttering, "Sorry, I can't do this" and running toward Babylon (where his car was parked). Joe called, "Justin, wait!" But Justin didn't stop. He didn't even look back. He just kept running.

Tonight had been incredible, with Brian sucking him off in the warehouse, dancing with him at Babylon, and holding him close at the diner. And whatever else had happened, Justin didn't want to forget that. He didn't want to let go. He wanted Brian and, however pathetic it was, only Brian. He had to figure out what to do. He couldn't let Brian run from him, from them. A few minutes later, he was driving home. He sighed sadly when he passed the diner. But then he smiled. Brightly. He'd caught sight of Brian in the distance, walking. Justin slowed down and pressed the button to open the passenger's side window. Then he called out, his voice a sexy purr, "Hey, baby, need a ride?"

Brian just blinked. Then he asked, his voice flat, empty of everything, "Where's Joe?"

"Get in the car, Brian. Let me drive you home."

Brian shook his head, and in that same empty voice, replied, "I feel like walking."

Justin clenched his jaw, threw the car in park, and jumped out. He pushed Brian up against the nearest wall and hissed, "You are so fucking infuriating!"

Then he crushed his lips against Brian's and thrust his tongue into his mouth. Brian didn't kiss him back. He just stood there, motionless.

Justin pulled away and sighed. "What the fuck, Brian? I know you want me. Twenty minutes ago, you were all over me and so hard I could have felt your erection from Mars."

Brian quirked an eyebrow.

Exasperated and embarrassed, but smiling, Justin said softly, "Well, you know what I mean." He sighed and shook his head. He looked down for a long moment, but when he lifted his eyes, everything was gone, but that thing Brian had done all this to prevent Justin from expressing. The words.

In a small voice, trembling with vulnerability, Justin began, "Brian, I…"

Brian interrupted, his voice sharp and angry, "Don't."

Justin flushed in embarrassment. "What?"

"Don't." Then more softly, a hint of desperation in his voice, he added, "Please…don't."

Justin knew it was stupid. And it ran counter to everything he'd thought when he'd done what Brian had wanted him to do, when he'd gone off with Joe. It was just so hard keep the words in. He was tired of lies and pretence. Of games. He just wanted to lay his cards on the table. But, looking into Brian's now-dead eyes, he was scared. Fucking terrified. So, in the end, he lied. "I…I couldn't do it."

Relieved but confused, Brian asked, "What?"

Justin laughed nervously. "You know me…too shy."

Brian's chest tightened. He didn't really want to know, but, at the same time, he did. So his words came out in a stammer. At first. "Wh-what happened?"

Justin turned red and looked down as he confessed, "Joe wanted to suck me off. Even had my dick in his mouth…but…"

Brian gritted his teeth. The image of Mr. Perfect down on his knees sucking Justin's dick had Brian seething. It took everything in him to reply evenly, "But what?"

"I couldn't do it."

Brian released a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. He smiled, his voice lilting. "Surely you've had your dick sucked before."

Justin laughed and blushed an even deeper red. "Of course…but…"

Brian couldn't keep the edge from coming back into his voice. He was most definitely conflicted. He was glad Justin had stopped things with Joe, but he didn't really want to hear why. He needed Justin to leave him out of everything, but, at the same time, he felt like punching someone, particularly an attractive, boring cuddler, every time Justin mentioned Joe. He prompted, a little reluctantly, "But…"

Justin closed his eyes. He didn't want to answer. Because he couldn't answer honestly. Because he'd have to lie, and however relieved Brian might have been that Justin wasn't forcing him to face his feelings, to admit them out loud, the lie might hurt him. Justin knew he shouldn't care. Brian had brought this on himself. He'd pushed him into Joe's arms, urging Justin to fuck him. However, despite everything, he did care. Course…if he were to have any hope of someday being Brian's…

Brian, getting impatient, repeated, "But…"

"But…I couldn't do it." Justin swallowed hard. Then he continued, "He's too beautiful. Too perfect." Justin covered his face with his hands (because what he was about to say couldn't but make him smile and blush; what he was doing was pitiful, and he knew it). "What if…when it comes down to it…I suck…and not in…"

Tongue-in-cheek, Brian supplied, "A positive life-affirming way?"

Justin turned around, away from Brian, and nodded. "Yeah." What he was doing was so wrong. But, in this moment, he needed Brian to fuck him like he needed air to breathe. He'd do whatever it took.

Brian smirked. This was perfect. He could do Justin 'a favor' without worrying about breaking any of his rules. He could fuck Justin as many times as he liked, and neither of them would need to make any heartfelt confessions. Justin wasn't a trick. He was…a friend. Brian would simply be giving his friend a helping hand. He moved closer to Justin, nudging his ear with his nose, and whispered huskily, "Maybe I pushed baby bird out of the nest too soon."

Justin shivered at the contact. When Brian moved from behind him and headed toward the car, Justin smiled brightly, but shook his head. He was pathetic. They were both pathetic. Well…Shakespeare'd said it himself: "The course of true love never did run smooth."

So Justin walked around to the driver's side. Then he asked, as coolly as he could manage, "Your place or mine?"

"Yours." Brian didn't want to fuck Justin in his bed. Not where he'd had anyone else. Though, of course, he was unlikely to ever admit that, not even under pain of death.

TBC…(later tonight, I promise)