Chapter Twenty-Two
Nick and Victoria looked up as she entered the front room, and they knew right away that it had gone badly. Edwina's pallor and wide eyes were indications, as well as the slow jerky way she was walking. Nick jumped up at went over to hug her, as he led her over to the sofa, helping her to sit down. He went and poured some brandy into a snifter, and brought it back to her. She took it with trembling hands, and drank it quickly.
"Ok, I'm going to go talk to him now! I'm the one he's mad at, and you shouldn't have to be the receiver of his anger." Nick bellowed, jumped up, and balled his fists, ready to go deal with his brother. He had no problem understanding Jarrod being upset, but it wasn't fair to take it out on Teddy.
"Nick, let's give him some time to cool off, and then I will go talk to him." Victoria put her hand up to stop him, and he stepped back. His mother had been very understanding when he'd told her the whole story. It had been a relief to hear that she would welcome Teddy as his wife. Her only concern was how quickly Nick wanted the wedding, but was slightly mollified by his comment that it would be a small, private ceremony.
"He asked me to leave, and I think it would be best if I did, right now." Edwina put the brandy snifter down, and stood up. "Can someone drive me into town? Eliza can pack our stuff, and come later this afternoon." She looked over at Victoria, trying to imagine what the woman must think of her.
"Victoria, I want to apologize for all this mess that you had to endure. I never wanted to hurt Jarrod, you, or your family. I am so sorry for my actions and Brent's too." Edwina offered, knowing that it was paltry at best. Her kinsman had invaded the house, and held them at gunpoint, all the while revealing her secrets, thus breaking the heart of Victoria's eldest son.
The grey haired matriarch regarded the woman standing next to Nick, and took in how sorrowful she looked. Victoria couldn't blame for her feeling bad, because it was the long shadows from her past that led to this day. However, the older woman was honest enough to admit that while Edwina had brought the kindling for the devastating fire, Victoria had been the one to strike the match, igniting the blaze.
She thought about her wish, over a year ago, for all of her children to be happily married. Victoria had then silently vowed to herself that she would welcome whoever Nick brought home as wife, provided that they could fill the loneliness the man felt. It was clear that Edwina – or Teddy- as Nick called her, loved Nick, and he loved her too.
"Edwina, Nick has told me the whole story, and I understand." Victoria reached over to hug the young woman, before she went on. "I'll look forward to having lunch with you next week, where we can discuss everything that has happened." She was hoping to have a second chance with Edwina, to get to know the real woman, not the formal one she'd only seen so far. The circumstances were less than ideal, but Victoria gave Edwina credit for owning up to her part in the situations, as well as being concerned about the impact on the family.
"Teddy, let me drive you into town." Nick offered, before he turned to look at Victoria. "Mother, once I get back I AM going to talk to him! This is really between him and me, and it needs to be settled today!" He stated forcefully, wanting to deal with the situation directly.
"Yes, Nick, you are going to have to talk with him, but right now I think Jarrod needs some distance from you." Victoria sighed, hearing the determination in her son's voice. Privately she hoped that the drive into town would calm Nick down some. She knew her sons very well, and if they confronted each other right now, it would be a knock down, dragged out affair. Jarrod had every right to be angry and hurt, but Nick needed to be the bigger person; after all he'd won Edwina's heart.
"Victoria, just so you know, Jarrod had been drinking scotch pretty hard when I was in there." Edwina confided, having seen the signs of intoxication in him. She didn't blame him, but thought that his mother should know what was going on. The older woman sighed heavily, as she said goodbye to Nick and Edwina.
Once they were gone, she surveyed the room, and as her eye caught the tray of drinks, she debated having a small amount of brandy, to fortify herself for the task ahead. Deciding that she would wait until after the talk, she walked over to the study door and knocked. When there had been no answer after two minutes, she knocked again and then tried the handle. It was unlocked and she opened the door and entered the room, carefully closing the door behind her.
Victoria studied the room, and when she saw Jarrod her heart went out to him. He was sitting on the gold velvet sofa in the study, so like two years ago, after Beth's death. He was jacketless, his shirt undone at the neck, while his eyes were blank. She saw the decanter of scotch on the marble topped table in front of him, and the glass next to it. The scotch was half gone, and a lit cigar was in the ashtray next to the full glass.
"May I talk to you?" Victoria asked simply, wishing she could make it better for him like she used, when he was a little boy. However, she reminded herself, he was a man, with a man's emotions and pride.
"Are you here to console me? I was expecting Nick to come in here, after the way I spoke to his Teddy." Jarrod snarled, giving special emphasis to the name, which he had come to hate in a very short time. "Or, are you here to tell me that there is someone out there who will really love me, not just pretend to! Please, I've already had that speech from Teddy." He added in a snappish voice, wanting his mother to leave.
She heard the words, and the tone, and realized that Jarrod had very deep feelings for Edwina. Victoria mentally reviewed the thoughts she'd had the last two weeks, since the couple had been in Stockton. It had struck her that the relationship was rather one sided, and of course now she knew why.
"Actually Jarrod, I'm here to apologize." Victoria stated, and her words caused Jarrod to look up from the scotch. He had not expected that, and gave her a puzzled stare through eyes that were starting to get unfocused from all the alcohol he'd drunk in a short time.
"Why do you need to apologize, lovely lady? You're not the one who caused all this!" Jarrod took the smoldering cigar from the ashtray and took a large draw on it, before stubbing it out. The ashes from it seemed to be a fitting analogy for his life right now.
"Yes, Jarrod, I am the one who caused all this." Victoria answered, as she came over to sit next to him. He was all set to disagree, but she stopped him. "No, not like you are thinking. I did though put everything into motion, when I arranged for Edwina to go out with you." She went on to remind him of that visit to San Francisco, as he looked at her through narrow eyes.
"Do you remember Heath telling me to leave it alone, and that it wasn't a good idea to force a relationship? His comment, about how if something between you and Edwina had not happened by now, there was probably a reason?" Victoria advised, and was glad to see Jarrod nod his head, indicating that he was listening.
"Edwina was still holding a torch for Nick, and if I had left things alone, sooner or later they would have met up again – without you being in the middle!" She tried to console him, privately beating herself up again for interfering in Jarrod's life.
"Wouldn't that have been nice! Then they would not have needed to SNEAK AROUND BEHIND MY BACK!" Jarrod raised his voice to a level worthy of Nick. Victoria saw that it wasn't only a broken heart that was hurting him, but also his brother's behavior. She silently cursed Brent St. Claire, not knowing that she was joining a long line of people who'd already done that.
"My understanding, from Nick is that they only met once, and it was because they had not seen each other in thirteen years. He felt very bad about it, but didn't have any other way to talk to Edwina." Victoria was pretty sure her explanation was going to fall on deaf ears, but she tried anyway. His response was making her even happier that she'd sent Nick into town.
"Your brother loves you, and cares about you very much, Jarrod! He wouldn't deliberately do something to hurt you; after what he went through with Hester especially." Victoria wondered if anything she was saying to getting through to him. "Nick just wanted to know what Edwina's feelings were, towards you. He told me, and I believe him, that if she had been in love with you, he would have stepped aside. Please, Jarrod, hear what I am saying!" She sighed, and decided to try a change of topic, to get his mind pointed in a different direction.
"I am very curious about something Jarrod, and I want you to think hard before you answer me." Victoria began, as he went to pick up the glass of scotch. She stopped him, saying "I think you've had enough for right now." His face was flushed, and his eyes rather blurry; she wanted him half way coherent for their talk.
"You met Edwina over a year ago in Carson City, and she has been working for you since the early part of the year, right?" Victoria inquired, and then continued on. "You have been going out with her since April, and it is now August, so that makes four months. Which leads me to my big question, Jarrod, is why you didn't know anything about her past?" She was surprised that her son had not done more investigating into Edwina's background.
"Because I am, according to dear old cousin Brent, stupid and clueless, while Edwina is lovely and deceitful!" Jarrod retorted, seeing the man laughing at him.
"No Jarrod, you are not any of those things." Victoria paused, giving him a sad smile. "You were a lonely man who met a woman that was not only beautiful, but also could carry on a conversation with you. That is a rare combination Jarrod, and one a man would fall for very easily." She wanted him to understand that he wasn't at fault.
"Well at least I now know why she knew so much about politics and financial affairs! And the way she could talk to politicians too!" Jarrod sniffed. "Her father held the fourth highest position in America at one time." He glared at his mother, as he took a drink of the scotch, not caring about her reaction. The idea of Edwina, as the perfect wife for a future governor mocked him, and he hoped the dark, warm liquid would blot out the mockery.
"I know that you are hurt Jarrod, because you cared about Edwina very much. I need to state though that to an outsider, the relationship appeared very one sided. Did you not see that?" She asked gently, gripping his arm with her hand. He turned his aquamarine eyes to her blue ones, and saw honesty and love in them. Jarrod had not had so much scotch that he didn't see where she was going with her questions.
He thought back to the night, after his visit to the River Queen Hotel, when he'd stood in the front hall and realized how much he didn't know about Edwina. Even as clarity was coming to him now, Jarrod remembered Nick and Edwina in his room, and how passionately they had kissed each other. The anger coursed over him, and he drank the rest of the scotch in the glass in one gulp.
"This is my fault? Are you taking their side?" Jarrod raised his voice, as bitterness filled his throat. He reached for another cigar and lit it, wanting to erase the taste in his mouth. He watched his mother tilt her head slightly, as she regarded him intently.
"What I am trying to suggest is that maybe you were so attracted to the illusion of Edwina, that you never saw, or wanted to see, the person she really is. And I'm not absolving her of blame, Jarrod. She should have told you about her father, and I'm sure she regrets it." That was one of the things she wanted to talk to Edwina about, privately, at their lunch next week.
The cigar was doing nothing for the bitter taste of bile in his mouth, and he put it out violently, as he pondered his mother's words. All it seemed to him though was a further condemnation of his mental acumen. His mother was just giving him a pass because he'd been a poor lonely man, and Edwina had been beautiful.
It was the thought of Edwina's beauty that twisted his gut and heart badly, as he saw her standing next to Nick; his brother's arm possessively around her. By now the heat from the scotch was running strong in his blood, and as he thought about Edwina, Nick, and his mother it boiled to the top. He jerked up from the sofa, rather like how Brent had jerked after Eliza had shot him, and threw his empty glass into the fireplace.
"You're taking their side, aren't you? Nick is going to marry her and bring her to our house, and you are perfectly fine with it!" Jarrod whirled from the fireplace, his voice loud, and faced his mother, hatred contorting his handsome features. Victoria realized clearly that the man was getting ready to cross a line, similar to the one he'd crossed when Beth had died. She regretted, not for the first time, that Jarrod's habit of keeping everything inside him only led to these massive meltdowns when something happened that he couldn't control.
"I am not taking anyone's side, Jarrod! I am merely trying to help you come to terms with what has happened." Victoria raised her voice, to the don't mess with me tone, that even managed to get Nick to back down. She was gratified to see that Jarrod wasn't so drunk yet that it didn't register with him.
"Jarrod, Nick lives here too!" Victoria saw that reasoning and sympathy were getting her nowhere; maybe some tough talk was the answer. "Nick and Edwina are going to get married! You will have to accept that; not today, not even tomorrow, but at some point you need to find peace with them!" She stood up and got right in his face, wanting him to understand just what the stakes were.
"Nick loves Edwina, and she loves him! Yes, she was going out with you, but clearly you two did not have the same feelings for each other." Victoria saw that Jarrod was too angry to see reason. She couldn't blame him for his reaction, but she didn't want his fury to tear the family apart. Seeing that further conversation would get nowhere, she strode over to the wooden door.
Reaching it she jerked the handle open, before she turned to look at him one last time. Jarrod stood there, disheveled, flushed of face, and furious, as he regarded her. Victoria remembered the last time the man had looked like that, before he took off after Cass Hyatt. On that occasion he had punched Nick out, and she became very afraid of what Jarrod might do to Nick now.
"Jarrod, finish the scotch off, and move on to the bourbon! Get plastered and blot out your feelings – we'll talk tomorrow!" Victoria told him, wanting him passed out before Nick got back from taking Edwina home. She knew that Nick would not engage Jarrod if he was drunk beyond recognition, which would give both men the chance to cool down.
He looked at her in disbelief, as she turned her back on him, just like his alcohol fueled brain said that Nick and Edwina had turned their back on him. Jarrod couldn't believe that he was being scorned, when he was the one that Brent had laughed at, even as Edwina had wronged him. It just struck him as so unfair, that everyone was taking Edwina's side in the matter.
"MOTHER, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE EITHER ONE OF THEM FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE!" Jarrod's voice rang around the room, as Victoria left the room, leaving Jarrod to stare at the closed door.