Salem

"Hang on, Rowland." Mhairi's voice greeted my ears as I moved closer, clinging to the wall for support. "You'll be all right. The Warden Commander is here now. She came. She came." the relief in the Denerim knight's tone was palpable…the hope in it unwarranted.

I am not a healer, Mhairi, my uselessness overwhelmed me as I knelt beside the man who wore a mirror image of Mhairi's armor. My presence does not save lives. I am the one who brings death. Wherever I go, it follows my footsteps, whatever I touch, it graces.

"C…Commander." a weak hand grasped at my chestplate as his pale lips worked. "Thank…thank the Maker you've come."

"Rowland, save your strength." Mhairi busied herself with undoing the man's armor, exposing a shallow slash across his hipbone where chestplate met greaves. "Rowland is the sergeant of my unit," she explained as she further inspected the wound, which was, in itself, not fatal.

"Master mage," the knight turned, looking to Anders with beseeching dark eyes, "can you do anything to help him?"

Oghren and I exchanged a knowing look. We had seen this manner of wound before. Mhairi and Anders did not see the mottling beneath the skin that appeared, on the surface, to be but simple bruising. They did not see the fever sheen in the sergeant's eyes.

His blood has been tainted, and he is not long for this world.

"No good…my girl." Rowland gasped, looking at Mhairi with the compassion of a seasoned soldier, accustomed to death and violence. "That blade…I think…was poisoned."

"No." Mhairi whispered, her hand reaching out to Rowland's cheek. She could not accept the inevitability of this death. "Rowland, no. Remember why we came here. To fight. To become Grey Wardens…and the Commander is here now. She will think of something, Rowland. We can save you."

Not even the Joining would save him now. The taint has burned too deep into his blood…he must have been wounded early on in the fighting. Maker, I do not know how I can do this. They have such hope in me, and I am nothing but a woman. Yes, I killed a god…but when will they realize that death is the only gift I can impart? Death…and love…the two things which have ruled my life.

"Commander." Rowland turned his eyes to mine. "Up…on the roof…there is one of them. A darkspawn. He…he threatens your men…he speaks."

Oghren and I traded another glance, one of alarm and discomfort. In all the warden legends, darkspawn had been mute, growling creatures spawned from the abyss. But Rowland was dying…he would not use his last breaths to lie to us.

What new manner of hell is this? If they can speak…can they feel? Can they acknowledge emotion and understand us? Oh Maker if I had died…if I had died…would this have happened?

"Rest easy, soldier." I took Rowland's hand in my own, hoping to give him a measure of peace…to bring his death more quickly.

"Commander," Rowland wheezed, breath rattling in his chest, "you…keep care…" he smiled fondly at Mhairi, "…of my girl."

"You have my word, sergeant." I assured him, letting his body go slack in relief, closing his eyes with my own fingers, taking his soul upon my shoulders.

I will carry you as I carry all of those who have died in my stead, Rowland, knight of Denerim. Go into the Maker's grace, and forgive me my transgressions, I beg you.

"Rowland?" Mhairi asked, unwilling to believe the cold truth of her eyes. "Rowland?" her lips trembled. "Rowland!"

"He's dead." Anders told her, catching the knight about the shoulders as she lunged for her friend's body. The mage held Mhairi as she trembled. "He is free from pain. You're all right. You will be all right."

He spoke words of comfort to her, but his eyes pierced daggers through me, conveying his true sentiments.

You think I killed him, mage? Anger flared…faltered…died. Perhaps you are right. Had I not neglected my duty, he might have lived. He might have lived.

"Stairs are just beyond." Oghren jerked his thumb towards the hallway. "Up 'em and at 'em, eh warden? I want to suss out this talkin' darkspawn for myself."

"It's gone quiet." I realized, listening to the eerie after-battle silence. "Yes. One more battle, and I believe we might be safe."

…for now.

"Mhairi, are you up for this?" I asked the knight as she extricated herself from Anders' dubious embrace.

"Yes ma'am." she scrubbed her tears away with the back of her hand. "I want to kill the fucking monster! Lead on, Commander. I'm yours."

"As you say."

We climbed the stairs to the roof and I gripped my swords tight, pouring into them all of my rage and my guilt and my desire for death. Killing had its own magic, a ferocity that dulled all other instincts but survival. I had balanced my skill with the blade with the love in my heart, and remained sane through the Fifth Blight. But love had departed, and I was left with only blood thirst and the cold, echoing vault of my soul.

Oghren kicked open the door to the roof and we strode out. I began running as I saw a human man, armored in silver, on his knees with a darkspawn blade at his throat. Another hurlock stood before him, clad in chainmail, a mantle of purple around his neck…

It is a symbol of rank, my stunned mind processed the scene, something no darkspawn has ever before possessed. But, if they have been given the power of speech, if they are awakening as sentient beings, then perhaps they no longer need an Archdemon to band together and…my gut twisted into a churning knot as I realized the ramifications of this.

"It is as was said would be." a chilling voice, like muddied water over bladed rocks, grazed my ears. The purple clad darkspawn spoke. "As he said would be. Gently, we are to kill this one. We wish no more pain than is necessary."

"That is not the manner of your kind." the man, with iron grey hair and steely blue eyes, answered.

"What my kind is even we know not." the darkspawn spoke, mesmerizing me as I came to a stop, the other three behind me, equally stunned. "Therefore what manner you see us in is perhaps as much lie as truth. Much must become known. Kill now."

"Lay a hand on him and perish." I moved forward, unwilling to let another human life end at the hands of the darkspawn, speaking, sentient, or no.

"You came." the creature cracked his mouth a distorted caricature of a smile. Sharp spikes of bone protruded from rotting, blackened gums. "As was said you'd come." he pulled a wicked, spined, curving blade from off of his back and jerked his hand. Other darkspawn joined him, but he left the grey-haired man alone.

"It really does talk." Anders breathed while Mhairi trembled silently with rage and fear.

"Then cut out its sodding tongue!" Oghren growled.

"Wait." iron entered my voice, and I knew none would dare challenge me. "Battle will come, but wait."

"Keep alive the Grey Warden." the monster commanded. "Kill the rest."

"Tell me why you've come." I demanded as the other darkspawn moved on their orders.

"Knowing is not for you." it gurgled out a laugh. "But you shall be our knowing."

"Can we kill it now?" Oghren glared at me.

"Mhairi, Oghren, protect the man and kill the darkspawn. Anders, keep Mhairi and Oghren safe. Leave the talking bastard to me." I dispensed orders with the confidence that had never been mine, not truly.

But I can kill. That, I have confidence in.

The curved blade swept out for my chest and I blocked it with my sword, feeling the strength of the blow shudder along my bone. I brought my offhand blade up under its sword, nearly piercing its armor when the darkspawn jarred its weapon down, the serrated edge catching my sword and knocking it out of my hand.

I pulled away and it pushed forward, angling its blade downward. The edges screeched across my armor and the metal plate threatened to give way. Sparks and flecks of metal assaulted my eyes and I blinked rapidly, pulling back as it continued to hack at me in a relentless assault.

"You are wished undamaged, warden." the monster spoke in the guttural voice that chilled me. "Defeat will come."

"To you." sweat dripped into my eyes, muddying my vision even more.

My ears rang with the clamor of magic and the scent of mage's fire and burning flesh assaulted me. I stepped into an overhead blow and slipped my foot behind the darkspawn's, drawing my leg in tight and tripping him. I stepped onto his chestplate with my left leg as it fell; my right threatened to give and my head pounded unmercifully.

It gripped my leg and its claws sank into my flesh. I gritted my teeth as I forced my blade through its unprotected skull. The monstrous creature tensed, cutting into me yet further. I closed my eyes and waited for its muscles to relax, willing my consciousness to last beyond the pain. I knelt and pulled its hand from my body, startled when a weathered hand appeared in front of my face.

"My thanks, arlessa." I found myself looking into blue eyes. They held a…remembered kindness.

Do I know you? I wondered, wracking my memories, attempting to bring to the forefront this face, those eyes…failing.

I took the proffered hand and he hauled me to my feet. I blinked back the dizziness, headache, and distaste for my title. "Salem." I gave him my name. "Salem Cousland."

"You may call me Varel." he introduced himself. "Seneschal of Vigil's Keep. I owe you my life, as do many of the citizens. Thank you."

Do not thank me. Too much has been lost here for gratitude to be present. "Did any survive?" I asked.

"The contingent of Denerim knights managed to evacuate most of the townsfolk at the beginning of the attack. Persuading them to return might be difficult, but I will see to that. I am your man, Arlessa Cousland…"

"Salem." I interrupted.

"…Salem." he continued. "Here to assist you in all matters of government. Call on me as you have need."

"Ummmm…hate to interrupt." Anders leaned out from behind Varel, pointing to the road below. "But I do believe I see soldiers arriving on the main road. Reinforcements perhaps?"

I looked in the direction he pointed, catching the standard that whipped in the wind and stood out, even in the grey of the rain. Joy caught in my heart as I saw the golden rampant lion embroidered on a field of crimson. Theirin colors.

A true, honest smile spread over my lips and I turned to leave, fighting to conceal my limp and my pain from my new companions, one name, one thought reverberating in my thoughts.

Alistair.