Booth could hear a voice coming from inside his bedroom. He sidled up to the door and stood outside, listening. Booth sniggered at the extremely bad Chicago accent.
Pepperwood is da name. Julius Pepperwood. Zombie Detective. I hear you have a problem here in Washington. I assure you, I'm da man fer da jaab.
Booth then remembered that the voice was inside his room. His room! He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, letting it swing inwards. He stepped into the room, to find Nick standing in front of the full length mirror in the corner of the room, wearing his trench coat!
Nick was oblivious to the door opening. He was preening himself, pulling the coat around his body, then flinging it open and standing with his hands on his hips.
Thin crust pizza? No thankyou. I'm from Chicaahgo
Booth couldn't contain himself any longer.
"What the fuck, are you doing in my room, wearing my coat?" he boomed.
Nick spun around, so fast that he lost his balance and fell onto his behind on the floor.
"Shit man, you scared me! Don't you knock?" he asked.
Booth frowned, his mouth turned down on the corners "What the hell are you talking about? I don't knock to go into my own room you idiot! And I'll ask again, just to be clear. " Booth stepped up and leaned down, hovering over Nick "What the fuck are you doing in my room?"
Nick held up a hand "Ok. Alright. I understand. You feel like your privacy has been violated. But Temperance said I could come up and borrow a coat. I was just trying to get a feel for the right one. A coat is not just a coat you know. It says a lot about a man. And might I say, you have a lot of coats! "
Booth was standing, hands on hips, his face screwed up in disbelief. "You are one weird little man" he said. "Get up and take off my coat" he added. Nick nodded, backing away from Booth before getting up off the floor. Nick shrugged off the trenchcoat and held it out to Booth who snatched it out of his hands. "What the hell do you do, anyway? Besides pretending to be someone you're not and wearing other people's clothes?" Booth asked.
Nick shrugged "I do things. I've written half a zombie novel" Booth stared at him "I meant what do you do for a living? How do you pay your bills?" he said slowly, now concerned that Nick was a bit retarded. Nick frowned, then smiled "Oh. My job! OK. Yeah. I'm a bartender. Well I was a bartender. Now we are moving here. Well, who knows? Hey! I could always be a bartender!"
Booth shook his head. "That's it? You tend bars?"
Nick nodded, shrugged, holding up his hands, palms up "Hey! It's a weird life, but its where I'm at right now."
Booth stood staring at the strange man in front of him. He must be around 30? But he's really odd. I thought Margaret had more taste and common sense that this. Idiot. And what was that shit about being a zombie detective? Oh my god, what if he's got mental problems! I really need to talk to Bones about this.
Nick interrupted his train of thought "Hey Booth. Can I ask you a question?" Booth closed his eyes I'm going to regret this "OK. One question" he said opening his eyes and looking at Nick, who had stepped up close to him and clasping his hands in front of him. "So. Do you think it is possible to be sexually attracted to an object? Cos I'm in love with that trench coat. I mean it. It's beautiful!" Booth took a second to process what he had just been asked, then threw the coat at Nick "Are you nuts? Take the coat and get out of my room. Don't. I repeat, do not come in here again. I don't care what Bones says. I don't want you poking your weird hands around my stuff. Understand?" Booth grabbed him by the back of his sweater and started pushing him towards the door.
"Really? I can have the coat? That's great man. Thanks so much! I'll pay you back. This is a really great coat!" Nick was babbling as he was being roughly guided to the door.
"Get out!" Booth said loudly as she shoved Nick out the door and slammed it behind him. He stood, hands on hips staring at the door, not quite believing what had just happened.
A small knock came from the door. Booth stood staring at the door, his mouth open. No. Then again, three little knocks. Booth pulled the door open "What?" he yelled. Nick stood, wearing the trench coat, you don't happen to have an umbrella do you?" Booth stared at him for approximately three seconds then simply pushed the door closed in his face and stood, his face tilted up to the ceiling, eyes closed, muttering. you cannot hit him. you cannot hit him. you cannot hit him
Nick got to the bottom of the stairs and held his arms out and jumped off the bottom step as if he was going to take off flying. "Well?" he asked as he landed and twirled around, the coat flying out from his body "What do you think?" he added, as Margaret and Brennan looked up at him. They were sitting on the floor playing with Christine. Marie was asleep on the floor on a rug. Margaret jumped up "Baby you look very sophisticated!" she turned to Brennan "Are you sure Booth won't mind?" Brennan shook her head "He has plenty of coats".
Nick did one more spin "Oh he's cool with it. He just gave me the coat. Hey Temperance, do you have an umbrella to compliment this?" he asked her. Brennan shook her head, frowning at him "don't you mean complement? Compliment is when someone says something positive or nice about you. Com-ple-ment is something that enhances or improves. I don't understand why people don't understand that?" she explained thoughtfully. Nick stared at her for a moment "yeah that's what I meant!" he said enthusiastically. Brennan's mouth dropped open slightly and she looked from Margaret to Nick "Okay then! Um, there might be an umbrella in the stand by the door. But, there's no rain forecast today." she added. Nick grinned and saluted her with two fingers "it's not about the weather lady, it's about the look. Hey Margie, remember that suit Schmidt gave me?" he said to Margaret, who smiled and nodded. "This coat is going to look bitchin' over it!" he finished, twirling again.
Brennan stood watching him for a moment "I don't know what that means" she said to Margaret, who was simply smiling adoringly at Nick. Margaret turned to her "Isn't he wonderful?" Brennan's eyebrows shot up high, "He's." she hesitated. Margaret was smiling at her. "He's nice" Brennan settled on. She loved her cousin and clearly the young woman was enamoured with this strange man. He was harmless enough, although this Pepperwood thing was very odd. "As long as you're happy." she added. Margaret grinned widely at Brennan "I really am. Nick has been the best thing. He's not exactly the most successful man, but he's passionate and caring and when we make love. Oh Temperance he's" Brennan cut her off with a hand in her face "That's OK. I believe you."
Booth had arrived home from work to find Nick in the front yard, wearing his trenchcoat and carrying an umbrella. "I say no. And when I say no I mean no!" Nick muttering to nobody "I told you. I'm Julius Pepperwood. I have an umbrella. And I find and kill zombies. " poking the umbrella at a tree. Booth looked around, hoping none of his neighbours were watching this display. He stomped towards Nick and grabbed him by the shoulder of his coat "Walk Miller" he said gruffly pulling Nick along with him. Nick ran beside Booth who was fuming. They went around the side of the house into the back yard where Booth finally let go of him "What was that?" he said pointing vaguely in the direction of the front yard.
Nick stood smiling at him "I'm getting in character. I usually do before I write. It helps me focus on the essence of Julius. He's my main character. He's a detective." Booth slapped his forehead with his hand "yeah, yeah, I know. Julius Pepperwood, Zombie Detective" he said, frustrated. "Look, Nick. I appreciate that you are so dedicated to your craft. But can you not run around my front yard yelling about zombies and waving an umbrella at trees? Please. For the duration of your stay here, just don't. And while I'm on that. When are you moving out. Have you found anywhere yet? Cos I'll be honest with you" he wrapped his arm around Nicks shoulders and started to squeeze. "I'm not really a houseguest kind of guy, you know? We have a toddler and a new born baby. I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep and I just want to come home after work, sit in my own chair, with my own slippers on, and watch the hockey in peace and quiet. Are you following me?" he asked Nick, his fingers digging into Nicks not so muscular arm.
Nick was trying to focus on what Booth was saying, then blurted "Oh my God, that was perfect! Do you mind if I use that in my novel?" Booth dropped his arm and looked up at the sky Are you trying to punish me? he asked to nobody in particular, then looked at Nick "Fine. Yes. Write what you like. I don't care. Just hurry up and find an apartment and move out!" he stalked away from Nick and at the last minute yelled "and there is no such thing as zombies!" Nick, oblivious, was making notes in a notebook. Actually it was Booth's notebook, he had found in the living room. Julius Pepperwood needed to make more notes, he had decided.
Margaret had made dinner for them all. They were sitting around the table eating, chatting about nothing in particular. Brennan had the baby on her lap while she ate. She had been fussing a bit today and being held seemed to be the only thing that would settle her right now. Christine was in her high chair between Booth and Nick and Margaret was opposite Brennan.
Booth took a deep breath "So how's the househunting going?" he asked. Brennan shot him a look. Nick was feeding Christine a green bean, pretending it was a lizard or a snake or something that would clearly give her nightmares later, Booth thought before snatching it out of his hand. "It's a bean Nick. Just tell her it's a bean." He handed the vegetable to Christine who grinned, her little white teeth biting into the bean saying "bite snake". Booth pressed his lips tightly together and glared at Nick. "Househunting?" he said curtly.
Margaret smiled sweetly. "Oh, we've been looking in the paper. Nothing seems to jump out at us. Nick says that the right place will find us. Not the other way around." Booth's mouth dropped open and he glared at Brennan again. She looked down at her plate and said "Margaret, that's really not a practical way of finding a residence. You actually have to go out and look at places. They are never what they seem from seeing them on paper. Like this place. Right Booth?"
Booth grunted a response.
Brennan looked back at Margaret. "Dinner is lovely Margaret. Thankyou so much for cooking tonight. It's lovely isn't it Booth?"
Booth shovelled an overly large forkful of meat and potatoes into his mouth and smiled, his lips closed "mmm" then started chewing his food a little too forcefully Brennan decided.
Brennan checked Marie was still sleeping in her arms, then turned her attention back to her meal and started eating. I suspect Booth and I will be having words later tonight she decided to herself, not looking forward to it.
"I've had it Bones. Really. They need to go. That Nick is weird. He was running around the front yard this afternoon, yelling at trees. What will the neighbours think? Have they even been looking for somewhere to live? I know it's only been two weeks, but it feels like two months!" Booth said. Brennan stared down at the hairbrush in her hand, "I know. He's a handful. But he's really sweet and he's so good with Christine!" she said. Booth snorted, "That's because he's the same mental age!"
"Booth, please. Just give me a week. I'll start taking them out to look at places. We'll have them out in two weeks, three, max. I promise." She begged. Booth rolled his eyes and sat on the side of the bed. "Baby I know she's your cousin, but, he's not right in the head" he sighed.
Brennan stood placing the hairbrush on the bureau and came to sit next to him. "He's really harmless Booth. He's a writer and you know how we can be" she leaned into him smiling. Booth shook his head, trying not to smile back. "You are a writer. An actual one. He's a goofy wanna-be who's written half a book. About zombies." he looked at her. Damn, she's using the face
"OK. Two weeks. I can live with that. But I swear if I find him wearing any more of my clothes. Let's just say, I won't be responsible for what happens." Booth said, half laughing. Brennan leaned into his arm "Thankyou Booth"
At that moment the cries of Marie came through the baby monitor. Booth stood up "I'll go" Brennan stood and pressed a hand to his chest "No. You go to bed. You're exhausted. And you have work in the morning. I'll be fine. I can sleep tomorrow for a bit. Can you take Christine to day care? I think it would be good for her and for me if I just had a day to rest". Booth smiled softly. She had been trying to cope with both children for the last couple of weeks, having pulled Christine out of day care while she was home on maternity leave. "OK. No problem. As long as you promise to try to get some rest." he said.
Brennan nodded, "and I'll get Margaret to start making a list of places to go look at this week. I will find them somewhere to move into if kills me!"
Booth nodded as she walked out of the bedroom.
I'm more likely to kill him if you don't.