Disclaimer: Total Drama series doesn't belong to me but to Jennifer Perth and Tom McGill. I write for fun, not for money and blah, blah, blah ...

Summary: If you got here waiting for another supposedly romantic story with trashy humor and cheap sexually explicit scenes, please, don't even start reading. Thank you. Insert-sarcastic-remark-here, Noah. / Post-series.

Warning: English isn't my first language. It's Spanish. If you notice any grammatical error or something like that, please let me know. Thank you!

Cover by Ringo-Tensai. Thank you so much!

Full disclosure

I woke up with a splitting headache, and the fact that the curtains in the window allowed the sunshine to light the room didn't help.

I let out a low growl, my brow furrowed slightly while looking away from the sun. I couldn't see clearly, but I could tell that all the walls were painted in neat white.

As my sight began to clear, I noticed that I was certainly in a hospital room. And I should've seen it coming, now that I remember where I was when I lost consciousness.

I tried to straighten up a little, but a hand laid gently on my shoulder and sank me back into the bed.

"Good morning, Noah" greeted a soft female voice, and I could finally see a young nurse beside me. "You better relax, the doctor will be here soon. He'll be happy to see you awake."

I let out a tired sigh, moving in my place a little, uncomfortably. My brow furrowed slightly.

"What... what happened?"

"You were attacked by a street gang, you got shot in the stomach" she informed me, with a small grimace of sympathy. "We were able to get an urgent blood transfusion for you, and Dr. Anderson predicted that this morning you would wake up. And he was right!"

I felt like laughing under my breath at her explanation. Street gang story wasn't that far, if you change them for a group of gangsters.

I looked around, and saw a bag with a coat resting on a chair near my bed. And I recognized them instantly, my mom had been here.

"Nirvana..." I muttered, swallowing and trying to straighten up again. "Where is Nirvana?"

"You mean the young redhead girl?" she questioned the nurse, and I could only nod slightly. "She left at dawn today... but gave me a letter, she asked me to give it to you. Give me a moment..."

I watched her look for it in the pockets of her uniform, feeling a growing anxiety in my chest. However, at that moment, the so-called Dr. Anderson came through the door.

He checked my vitals, made a lot of notes on a tablet and congratulated me for being alive.

I just wanted to read the damn letter.

He informed me that my family had been here, and my mother was in the hospital café, having breakfast.

When he finally finished talking to me, I strongly asked for a moment to be alone. The nurse (Tammy, as she said) gave me the letter.

I was about to open it, until I heard the unmistakable angry screams of my mother.

"Why the hell nobody told me that my son is awake?! I should be the first to know...!"

I made a little grimace at her voice resound in my ears, until she entered the room. Followed by my father, my siblings and my cousin.

"Noah!"

"Noah, you're alive!"

"Mom, Dave owes me twenty dollars!"

Their voices soon began to irritate me, and I sighed heavily, rubbing a hand on my face.

"Um... Blain family, I can't allow so many people visit the patient at a time" warned the doctor, with a small awkward grin on his face. "I'll have to ask you to leave, you can take turns to visit Noah..."

"Everybody get out!" ordered my mother, approaching me to stroke my hair. "I'll stay with him."

"Actually... I would like to be alone. Please."

The horrified and hurt look I got from my mother might have made her feel guilty, but not in that moment. The nurse patted her shoulder gently.

"Ma'am, you better give him some privacy. He just woke up, and has a letter to read."

I appreciated the intervention of the young nurse, but not the suspicious look my mother gave me.

"It's true... you never told me about your 'little friend' Nirvana" she muttered, narrowing her eyes. "We'll talk about that..."

"Later, Mom. By the way, my engagement was false. Nirvana is my girlfriend."

Her horrified expression was priceless, but my father made sure to take her out of the room, winking.

Soon Dr. Anderson and nurse Tammy took everyone out of the room, and I mentally thanked for that.

When at last I was alone, I dared to open the letter. Its calligraphy was messy and hasty, I was sure it was Nirvana's.

If you're reading this, it's because you woke up today, as Dr. Anderson said. What good doctor, right? And what a cliché way to start a letter.

Anyway, I'm just rambling.

If I wrote this letter, it's because I am a coward, and I could never tell you this in your face. Because my soul would fall to the ground before I start talking.

What happened in the party was one of the many ways in which everything could go wrong from the start. I shouldn't talk to you, not even accept to meet you. I should never have let this go this far.

Sorry. I didn't choose to be born in this hell, but I dragged you with me. I was selfish in doing so, and seriously, I'm sorry.

I don't want you to suffer, or you risk your life. You have years, decades ahead without me. It's the best for you.

Don't try to find me, you won't find me. Don't try to call me, I won't answer. This is it.

You don't need this. You don't need me.

I love you. I will remember you every day, and I'll be happy knowing you have a quiet and "normal" life. Take care, and this sacrifice won't be in vain.

Goodbye.

PS: By the way, you can finish reading our book, if you wish. I'll be reading it with you, wherever you are.

My mother attributed my lack of appetite and defeatist expression to the trauma that the attack of the gang had caused in me. And because of that supposed trauma, I also saved myself from her sermon.

For almost a week, I received visits from all my brothers, my uncles with my cousin Dave, Owen, Izzy, Eva, Cody, even Gwen and Courtney made me a visit. However, I was in no mood to talk to anyone.

I waited for Nirvana to change her mind, to come through the door, with her wild red curls and her lovely smile.

But that never happened.

Gradually I had to get used to the idea that she would never return. Gradually, I understood that this was the end of everything. Our deadline.

One Friday night, in which I had begun to write a draft for a novel in a notebook, Tammy announced me a visit.

I assumed it would be Owen, or maybe Dave. Until she said it was a red-haired girl, who almost demanded to see me.

Then I immediately asked for her to come in...

... only to be disappointed once again.

Scarlett was watching me from the door of the room, clutching to her chest a manila envelope.

Hi!

Another reference to Steven Universe? Where? (?)

Yep, I know I'm late again ... writer's block, fucking writer's block :c

Anyway, I'll answer your reviews.

Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro: Thanks! Well, here they are!

Artemis Raven Courtney: And yet another cliffhanger! Guess Noah never learns.

Ali6132: Thank you... I'm sorry! I had to make that happen sooner or later. Here's next chapter, please don't die. Bye!

OppsieDasi: ... Alright then!

The Abysswalker: Ah, I know, Romeo is kinda... yeah. Well, I'll try to save this story from hiatus!

YamazakiWolf: Thank you! Hope you like this chapter!

Well, that's all for now. I'll try to update soon, but I can't promise anything.

Read you soon!

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