[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Cough, cough…I'm so sick & full with cold medicine. Don't feel like ever leaving my bed again.

I have a certain way how I imagine Alice's mind to work like and that's very different from that of a human. She's able to focus on several things at the same time, the present, her visions & the flashbacks of memories. Sorry for all the confusion this is causing…

**Visions of Desires**

I am unable to turn my eyes away from her, even if it's just for a tiny split second. It's like I'm secretly afraid to miss any details of the things she's seeing completely new for the first time.

She slurps a bit when her teeth break the skin of the deer in front of her and immediately pulls back as soon as she tastes the awful bitterness of the animal's blood on her tongue.

"You'll get used to it." I whisper, taking two steps closer to her. Her beauty is so beyond words that I'm finding it hard to believe that I ever thought her pretty while she was still human.

Her skin is a perfect ivory color that looks lovely with the silken curls of her mahogany hair and the soft rosy of her lips, now tinted a bit from her first meal as a vampire look so temptingly inviting.

I want to kiss her, taste her and so, very slowly I lean forward, cupping her face in my right hand. Her cheek has exactly the same temperature as my fingertips as I circle them gently down her jawline.

"I'm so glad you are here with me."

Me too, I think pulling her closer to me. When my lips touch tenderly against hers I feel her shiver a bit against my mouth.

I'm never going to know how it feels like to get kissed. Who would want to have me anyway? I'm too weird.

Abruptly, I pull back and when I blink into her now ruby-like iris my face reflects in them. The picture is tiny and blurred. A mixture somehow of the tortured human girl I used to be once and the person I know from looking in a mirror.

In her eyes, in the gorgeous eyes of this new born vampire they are both melting into one.

"My first kiss was with you." I mumble, moving my thumb over her lower lip, wiping off a tiny drop of dried blood from its left corner.

"Do you remember? Please, say you remember."

I shake my head and the sadness that instantly appears on her face hurts me deeply. It's nothing I can endure, it's too painful. She's disappointed in me, I can feel it.

"I see some things but the memories are blurred, as if I'm trying to look at them through a veil that I can't lift."

She leans her hand against a tree next to us and a moment later it crashes down to the ground.

"Did I do that?" she asks me, the surprise in her voice clearly audible. I love the fact that I'm with her experiencing all this together with her.

"You'll get used to your new strengths. Look, it's not that difficult."

I kneel down and pick a little violet flower up from the ground. In a few weeks she'll be ready to go near humans again, at least for a short period of time. I have seen how her eyes had been a very similar shade to that of the violet. Blue contacts would hide the traitorous crimson until her iris would eventually turn to the warm, melted honey shade that the rest of our coven had.

As we walk through the beginning darkness of the wood, she takes my hand into hers and although her grip around my fingers is a bit too strong, I can still feel how she's trying to be careful.

"Is your throat still hurting very much?"

"Yes, but I don't want to drink any more of these reeking animals. None of you ever told me your repulsive they smell and taste."

I kiss her nose as she wrinkles it in disgust before I clear my throat.

"You need to drink it. You need to drink as much as you can. After a while you'll get used to it to a certain extent. It's this or you'll start hunting humans. They taste a great deal better but the bitter aftertaste it leaves on your soul when they die on you…I don't feel like that's so much better from feeding on animals."

She nods her head and sits down on the ground, circling her fingertips over the grass as if it were some precious silk.

"I always thought grass was just a plain green but now I know that there are so many different shades of it. I don't even have names to all of them."

I sit down next to her. I know that I need to be patient with her. Newborns get distracted by almost everything.

"Look, there's a butterfly."

"Bella, we need to go back. The others will start worrying that I lost you and then hell will break…,"

"Just a little while, come and sit with me. I love watching your face. It's so very beautiful, now that I can see it as a vampire."

She circles the tip of her forefinger over my eyebrow, down the bridge of my nose and eventually over my upper lip.

A wave of lust spreads through my entire body and I swallow back a bit of venom that instantly starts to float in my mouth.

I want her so very much and while I watch how her eyes turn into black pearls the intoxicating scent of her arousal works like some sort of aphrodisiac for me.

"Your first kiss wasn't the only first you shared with me," she whispers, her voice thick and husky with lust.

Her hands move up my ribcage and when she carefully cups my breasts through the fabric of my shirt the muscles deep down inside my belly start to tighten.

The sensations that start building within me are different from than those I'm used to and still…they don't seem new to me.

My mind is suddenly overflown with pictures of us and I'm unable to point out if they are a vision of what is going to happen between or a faint memory of what used to be.

Right now, I feel like it doesn't matter as long as she's here in my arms…