HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Hello all. Hope everything is well. I hope you guys aren't getting bored with the story. I promise it will be ending soon.
Everything won't be wrapped up because I do have a sequel planned.
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
I will be back sometime next week because Thursday is my birthday and I have a lot of celebrating to do starting tomorrow all the way though Sunday.
SO how about as a birthday gift you leave me some reviews.
Chapter 25 Dean
I have this little cousin. Her name is Emma and she is ten years old. She is related to me thought Aunt Ellen. So I guess technically isn't my cousin but that's not the point. My point is she and her parents came to visit this week. Her parents hung out with my aunt and uncle the whole time while Sammy, Jo, and me took turns watching her. I watched her day before yesterday.
She's a good kid. Not too much trouble. Although she did make me watch High school musical 1,2 and 3. I never wanted to see those movies ever in my life but there I was all day wy=atching them like boo boo the fool. I learn a lot from that cast and the one thing I learned the most is that I hate those fucking movies.
They were the worse things ever. Especially the second and third movie, they give kids unrealistic expectations. High School is nowhere like that. I don't know where the writers went to school but they sure as hell didn't go to school with me. Nothing like that ever happened at my school, at least not when it came to my life. Maybe I was one of those kids in the background, but then again nobody in my town can keep their trap shut. So if something like that did happen I would have heard about it.
I wish high school was like that, at least my experience. If this was a movie then everything would be different. Either I would have met Bella fell and stayed in love, Jo and I be on speaking terms, Cas would be my best friend, and Gabriel and I wouldn't haven't to pretend we aren't speaking. Life would be so simple then, but instead my life is different.
Instead Jo and aren't I speaking, Gabriel and I share too many secrets, Cas is neither my lover nor my boyfriend, oh and I'm gay. I have to laugh because when I think of what my life and what my circle of friends have become. Once upon a time we all got along. Once upon a time we all talked laughed and hung out. Once upon a time I was with Cas and I was happy. Now I feel alone and heart broken. I miss my friends but I miss him more. If I had to choose who to make up with first, it would be him. Not saying that my friends don't matter but I feel like if I fixed things with him then everything would fall into place. Damn I miss him.
I miss him so fucking much. Everything in my body aches for him. Instead of enjoying my summer like I normally do I have spent the entire summer somewhere lost in hell. I am trapped in hell and the only person who can save me is him. I am afraid I will stay here until the day he grips me tight and pulls me out. The only problem is, I don't think he knows.
The minute he came home I should have locked us in a room and told him how I feel. I should have made sure the room had no windows and one door, that way he wouldn't have been able to get out. He would have had no choice but to talk to me. I know I messed up. I know I left him, but that was a mistake. A huge mistake I'm afraid I will be regretting the rest of my life. No fuck that, he will not be the one who got away. He will just be the one and I know just how to do that. I have about a week and half before he leaves and school starts back for me. That gives me enough time to try and fix things one last time
I am going to fix things but not like I have tried this past summer. No this time I am going to try something new. I am going to tell Cas the truth. Yup, you heard me. I am going to tell him the real reason I broke up with him. Yeah we always had problems but we always mange to work them out, but I figure with me admitting to being gay and Cornell it might help jump start some kind of platform for us to build from.
Gabriel is going to kill me for this but it's something I have to do. HE never wants me tell Cas but I have to. Gabriel was wrong for pressuring me, I was wrong for giving in and Cas has a right to know. If he loves and cares about his brother then he will be okay with it. I hope. I hope Gabe is okay with this. We were wrong in the first place, so I'm guessing he has no say. I hope he sees it that way when we talk.
Since I plan to tell Cas the truth in a week I have decided to be a good friend to him and give him a heads up, but there is only one problem. The problem is I can't call him since Jo and Cas both think we aren't talking and I don't want to call him. With my luck I'd call him when he is around one of them. I can't call him, but I can text him.
See I hate having long conversations thought text but I have no problem setting up something thought text. I use to do it all the time with Cas, but stating the obvious here we don't do that no more. We don't do much of anything anymore and it's time that changed and I know exactly how.
I know we have had a lot of problems but ever sense our last meeting and now-
"Psssssshhhhhhh" What the? "Pssshhhhh" What the hell? Who the hell?
"Dean!" Okay some creepy guy in a baseball cap just called my name. "Deannnn" Who the hell is this guy. "Come here." Okay I don't what's creepier, the fact that this guy has on sunglasses and a baseball cap or the fact that he is using this low gruff like whisper voice. Did I mention that I am standing in the middle of a park?
"Come here" he says to me as I try to figure out what to do. The future cop in me is telling he he is some kind of pervert and I need do something about this. Yeah maybe I'll talk to him, get him to leave the area, and then beat his ass. Might sound crazy but there are kids in this park. If he is bold enough to pick me up here, imagine what he would do to helpless dumb children.
"Come here" Okay this dud e is serious. HE is starting to talk to me though his teeth. I need to kick his ass.
"Okay" I say with a smile as I walk over to sit next to him on bench. Okay I am going to go with the flow until I get him out of here.
"About time" The creep says after I sat down next to him. It takes me a minute to register who this guy was.
"Gabriel" I say after realizing that this weirdo was the person I was meeting here in the first place.
"Who the hell else would be calling your name?" He says as he lowers his glasses to look at me.
"I guess I never thought about it." I say as he quickly looks away from me.
"You're lucky your pretty." He says looking around the park.
"Dude,why the hell do you look like some kind of pervert?"
"I do not." He says in his all too familiar offended voice. I swear he can be so dramatic at time. Shit like this just gets on my nerves.
"Why are you in disguised?"
"Because I told everybody we broke up." He says as he looks over his shoulder. Not only does he look like some kind of pervert and he is acting paranoid as hell.
"Will you stop saying that shit?" I say looking around.
"Why so grumpy Gus?"
"Why such a creepy jackass?"
"Ohhh touché Deano touché."
"Seriously man you look ridiculous." I say as I make sure that we have enough space between us. Just in case someone wants to call the cops, they won't mistake us for being together.
"Please I look good in anything. You're just jealous."
"No I'm worried people might get the wrong idea." I say as I wave my hand between us.
"Please you'd be lucky to have all this."
"Jesus" I say as I rub my forehead. He is starting to get on my nerves again. I honestly don't know why I even bother with him.
"Don't bring him into this."
"Gabriel seriously."
"I am being serious. You can have all types of nasty relations with my baby bro but you can't even flatter me. Not even a little."
"What kind of world you live in.?" I ask raising my voice causing everyone to look at us.
"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch."
"Seriously, can you stop now?" I ask very monotone. I swear I am two seconds away from walking away. He is getting on my nervous and I know he can tell. My mouth is so tight I might start bleeding inside my mouth.
"Stop what?" Oh come on. He wants to sit there and give me such a lost and innocent look. Yeah you can even see this stupid express with the hat and shades.
"I'm about to leave." I say as I slap both of my knees before I take a deep breathe.
"Leave. Why are you leaving? You ask me to meet you hear?"
"Yeah, but it was your idea to meet in the middle of some park. I wanted you to meet me at fricking dinner."
"Oh so you do want to bang me?" I wonder if I would get into trouble if I punch out right here. I mean he does kind of look like a creeper.
"Okay…DO you want to have sex with me? Is Jo not putting out enough or something? DO you want me to bang your brains out? Is that it, cause if you do I gotta tell you man, I'm done for that." Maybe if I just go with it he will shut up and can actually talk.
I think it's working. He's quiet and just staring at me. Now all I have to do is just lean my body in and give him my sexy smile.
"Deano, what are you doing?" oh his somber now. Maybe I should move my face just a little closer to his and
"I knew you wanted me. I knew it!" he yells as he jumps from the bench and does a happy dance. Seriously, only I would get a straight friend like this.
"Why are you dancing?"
"Because it fucks with your head." He says as he stands still. "You know I can't help myself, but good job you almost had me there for a second." He says as sits down next to me.
"So does this mean you are going to take the hat and glasses off?"
"Nope, but I am ready to talk to you." He says as he relaxes back on the bench.
"Why do you always have to fuck with me?" I know I sound like a whinny kid but I don't care."
"Simple my dear friend, it's just so much fun." He says like it's the simplest answer out there. I really have to learn to ignore him.
"Maybe we should really take a break." I say as I recall the conversation we had in the bar a week ago. It was a weird strange night that ended with me getting laid.
See what happen was, Gabriel told me about a bar he could get into and ask if I wanted to go. Me being me I said yes of course and met him at some dive looking bar on the other side of town. Come to find out it wasn't the bar that he had told me about before, it was a gay bar. I didn't know whether I was offended or happy about him bringing me there. Anyway to make a long story short, Gabriel told me that was last time we could hang out for a while.
Apparently Cas was bitter with him for being friends with me and that he need to fix things with his brother. You'd think I am upset but I'm not. I understood his dilemma and I understand we have to keep our distances, but I also understand I have to fix things with Cas. If I fix things with him then everything else will fall into place.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Gabriel ask as he swings his arm over the bench.
"Okay, now what I am about to say isn't easy but I think it's the right then to do."
"Okay."
"Now I had a conversation with your brother that bought a whole new light to everything."
"Sure, but I thought you were okay with being gay or have you back tracked again."
"This has nothing to do with that."
"Then what does it have to do with." He ask a little nervous.
"Cas and I were friends once upon a time. Like real friends. Hell he was my friend before you and I became friends."
"I know, but I still don't see where you are going with this."
"The way I treated him, is how you treat your friends. I owe so much more than what I gave him."
"Please tell me you aren't saying what I think you are saying."
"That depends what you think I am saying."
God I am starting to sweat. I know it's summer and the sun is beating down on us but I think I'd still be sweating if it was night time.
"You're going to tell him the one thing we agreed we'd never tell him." He says as he sits straight up to look me in the eyes. Well he's looking at me in the eye. I am looking at my reflection and I have to say I lot pretty damn good today.
"It's the only thing I can do to get him back."
"HE doesn't want you back." He says as he snatches off his hat and glasses."
"How do you know that? You have said it before he doesn't talk to you anymore? You have no idea what's going on in his head."
"He might not talk to me but I know him. Dean buddy he treats you like some kind of whore. He doesn't talk to you, he just screws you and leaves."
"I know he still cares about me and he will want me back if I tell him the truth."
"Seriously, you ask what world I live in. What world do you live in? How is telling this going to fix either of our relationships with him. All it's going to do is just make him pull away more."
"Keeping it from him, will only cause more damage."
"He doesn't need this too. He already has a few screws loose. From what I don't know and I will never know if you open you big mouth."
"He might be pissed but he will get over it."
"He doesn't need to know" Oh someone is pissed. Gabriel's face is all red and his nostrils are just flaring open.
"I think he does."
Gabriel shuts up for a minute as he rubs him temples. I wait for him to speak as I ponder the after mad of what will happen once I tell him.
"Dean, telling him won't change anything between you too. He might still have relations with you but you two will never be in a relationship again. I know it sucks and you still love him but too much damage has been done. It's over between you two and you need to realize it."
"We aren't over. If we were over he would have told me."
"He's going back to New York in a week and four days. I don't think he will be coming back to visit anytime soon."
"I know that. I know where he goes to school. I know oh too well."
"SO why not just let him go and find somebody else. Look as your friend and I say this with love but you are starting to look desperate"
"I can't do that man. Not until I know I have tried everything I can."
"There is nothing you can do. What's done is done."
"It's not over until I try."
"He won't take you back." He says as I stand up.
"Yes he will. He loves me as much as I love him"
"Dean this is stupid. This won't fix anything with you two. Not only will he distance himself more from you and might actually start to hate you. He will hate me and pull away from me too. I can't break his trust right now. He is suffer from some sort of PTSD and I can't help him if he doesn't trust me."
Okay he is starting to get on my nerves. Cas doesn't have PTSD and how dare he lie about something like that. I know our break up affected him but it didn't damage him that bad. Gabriel is just making shit up to protect his own ass.
"You know Gabe, why don't you stop worrying about my relationship and worry about yours. I don't know if you noticed but Jo kind of went all grand slam on your car."
"My relationship is fine and you have no relationship. Not with my brother, not with Jo and you aren't about to have one with me."
"Oh yeah lash out. You're just mad because you know I'm right and your relationship isn't fine. OR have you two started talking again. Last I check, Jo was just screwing you and spending all he free time with Cas and Alana. That is what you told me. Does she need to be drunk to have sex with you."
"Fuck you Dean." He says as he stands up to get in my face.
"Not even with the thickest condom on."
"I won't let you tell him."
"Oh, but I am going too and as your friend I wanted to give you a heads up. I thought you'd like to tell him with me." I say as I look him in the eye.
"Oh no, you want to spill the beans you get to tell him all by yourself."
"Coward."
"Delusional"
"I am going to tell Saturday at the party. BE ready."
"I have nothing to be ready for. You're not invite."
"That's okay I am not above crashing a party." I say giving him my best smile.
So what did you think?
Let me know?
Once again the end is coming.
ANd it's my birthday and all I want are some reviews.