When they came in her friends seemed more depressed than angry, Vulpes took it as a good sign. It would have been easy for her to leave with them. They could always claim they rescued her, after all. No one would doubt it; it was a more realistic story than the truth.

"I'm gonna make some food," she announced. Her friends retreated to the far corner, as far from him as possible, speaking quietly. Circling him, Maria briefly trailed her hand across his shoulders, fingers slipping just below his collar when they reached the back of his neck. She wanted his attention. When he glanced up she smiled at him before tugging on the ends of his hair. "Can you dig out that hotplate? I think it's in your pack."

She winked and he knew that he had won. Well, as much as there had ever been a competition. In any case, she wanted him to know that, even after talking to her friends, she was staying.

It was almost enough to improve his mood. His anger was already more memory than reality, but it left an uneasy feeling behind. He couldn't stop questioning why he would even consider forgiving such a monumental lapse in judgment. He had been more concerned about her leaving, if Vulpes was going to admit the truth. There was something deeply wrong with that.

He wasn't sure if this was something Mars would have wanted. It seemed unlikely at best. However, it also seemed that the gods' strange love for the courier continued unabated. Her friends had left New Vegas to seek her out. It was a fool's errand at best. The Mojave was enormous, finding one woman, particularly a woman constantly on the move specifically to make it more difficult for her to be found, should have been impossible. Yet here they were, after a journey so effortless Vulpes might as well have left them a string to follow.

If I don't understand what I'm doing, I certainly can't pretend I'll ever understand what the Gods are doing.

It might be worth contemplating later… but not today. He would need to distance himself more before he could really analyze the entire situation. Right now there were more important things Vulpes should be focused on. Maria would trust her friends without question. She was unfailingly loyal; he knew that. He wouldn't even complain, not when it was one of the qualities that he most admired about her. It just meant he would need to provide the critical eye she was lacking.

Realizing his uniform was clearly making them uncomfortable, Vulpes had quickly changed while they were outside. He had a pair of faded blue pants in his pack, the kind that had apparently been universally popular before the war, and an old shirt. The shirt was red. He was glad. He wanted them to be comfortable… but not too comfortable.

"So," the woman said, gesturing with a fork, "you probably have a lot of fun spy stories, right?"

He stared at her. "I suppose it depends on how unusual your definition of fun happens to be," he said. "I specialize in assassination and intimidation. Not many laughs on the job, I assure you." Trying not to roll his eyes, Vulpes took another bite. "Not for a sane person, at least," he added after swallowing, speaking under his breath.

"Aw, come on," she said. "You really expect me to believe you didn't spend lots of time in the casinos sweet talking folks and seducing the ladies?"

"No," Vulpes said. He could see where this was going. The woman didn't actually care about his answers, she just wanted to plant ideas in Maria's mind.

"Really?"

"No."

"You told me you spent time in New Vegas," Maria spoke up, looking at him.

Apparently the Cassidy woman's plan was working.

"Not in the way she's implying." He had sent men on such missions, of course, but Vulpes knew it wasn't for him. That sort of job require a degree of… anonymity. Someone forgettable, someone that could blend in. Average height, average coloring; a man someone could describe and have the listener think of any one of hundreds of people.

That was something he couldn't do… not while undressed at least.

"You really think I'll believe—"

Holding up a finger to cut her off, Vulpes stood. "I realize what you're implying," he said, "and I know why you're so intent on planting these little seeds in Maria's mind. But I'm afraid your plan is flawed." Turning his back on them, Vulpes raised his shirt, exposing the skin of his back to the shoulders. "After all, how would I explain this?" he asked, hearing a woman's gasp and man's mutter before dropping the shirt and sitting once more. He wasn't ashamed of his scars, regardless of how they might have reacted. Vulpes was, to his knowledge, the only person to survive being scourged. The few people who hadn't been executed outright afterwards had died of infection. He wore his scars with pride… but they did limit his assignments to those that would allow him to keep a shirt on his back. Sure, he would occasionally wine and dine a cocktail waitress or chambermaid, but things never went much beyond that. And, to be frank, he had never really been suited for that kind of work in the first place.

"What happened to you?" the doctor asked. Surprisingly, he seemed to be genuinely concerned.

"Two leather lashes, strung with three caps each, forty six times. One for each conquered tribe."

"Forty six," he mumbled, considering that. "That had to be twenty years ago. How old are you?"

"Younger than you, Doctor Gannon," Vulpes answered, remembering what Maria had said. It wasn't by much, but it was something.

"Touché," he said, almost looking relaxed. "Does it hurt?"

Cato snorted before he could answer. "Does it hurt? And this is a doctor?"

"It doesn't feel good," Vulpes said, "but I can tolerate it. Until recently I could say actually living through it was the most painful thing I'd experienced… but then I was shot in the head. That was a pain… well, a pain I couldn't even express with language. Perspective is a fascinating thing."

The dissolute pair seemed uncomfortable with his statement. They weren't looking at him, though- they were looking at Maria. She stared back at them, silent. After a drawn out pause she nodded.

They never actually asked, or she simply hadn't told them about what she had experienced. They knew she was shot, of course, but hadn't actually considered what that meant and what she had endured until he brought it up. He was reminded of the flippant way people in the NCR seemed to share that bit of information. You know the courier was shot in the head, he had heard more than one say, in the same tone they might have said the courier has black hair.

Vulpes had been acting under the assumption that these people knew Maria better than he did, better than he ever could. With a start he realized that likely wasn't the case at all.

Fuck.

It had been going so well.

No, that was a lie. It had been going better than expected, but that wasn't saying very much. This could be so much worse, was exactly what Maria reminded herself not even moments before. No one was bleeding. That was something to celebrate. There had been no drawn weapons, no threats. Just, well… it wasn't bickering. Not outright. It was Cass trying to catch Vulpes in lies, or make Maria picture him with countless New Vegas women. She was trying to turn Maria against him, and likely thought it was very subtle.

It wasn't.

At the same time, Vulpes and Cato were asking how Arcade and Cass could support a group as corrupt and hypocritical as the NCR…. Nevermind that neither actually supported the NCR, now or then. They both hoped Maria would kick them to the curb. Something she had considered… for about twenty seconds. Realizing no one in New Vegas seemed capable of wiping their own asses without asking her to help, she figured independence wasn't likely the best plan. It would just end up a dictatorship under Maria.

But, for those two, it was either Legion or NCR, and no in between. They couldn't fathom not wanting to be allied with one of the two. It was the reason Vulpes had made snide comments about "your NCR" to Maria… despite knowing her entire history with the group.

Listening to the back and forth, she suddenly realized how Vulpes must have felt when she argued with Cato.

"What I don't understand," Cass said, "is how either of you can support the Legion. You weren't born to that life. I can hear the tribal in his fucking voice." Pointing at Cato, she added "he's got an accent like my mother. You can't tell me having the Legion show up and take you away was a good thing."

"Being civilized and literate seems a rather fair trade off," Vulpes said with exaggerated nonchalance.

"That's what your mother's freedom was worth? I guess Maria should be grateful you already know how to read."

For a moment she was sure Vulpes would kill Cass… or try to. She tensed, getting ready to hold him back if things came to that.

Instead, he said "this conversation has ended," before standing and walking out.

"Was that at all necessary?"

"I think so," she said. "He sounds like he practically opened the gate for them when they got to your village."

Cato cleared his throat. "I do hate to ruin a good baseless assumption," he said, "but I should probably point out that, when the Legion came for our tribe, I found my brother covered in blood, staring at our father's head on a spike. He was six. So if we had a gate, I doubt he would have been tall enough to reach it." Cass looked away. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

Maria looked from Cato to Cassidy. Neither said anything, they had resumed glaring at each other. Arcade looked lost in thought. "I'll be back," she announced to the people who clearly didn't care, before walking outside.

She found Vulpes around the side of the building, back to the wall. "You want to talk about whatever's bugging you?"

Vulpes looked over, visibly annoyed. "Do you think I want to talk about it?"

"No," Maria said. "But I think you'll tell me anyways."

"Did it ever occur to you that I left because I wanted to be alone?" He was staring forward, expression angry.

"Yes," Maria conceded, sitting beside him. "But I also suspected you were going to gut Cass alive when she mentioned your mother. So I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Were you worried I would stumble face first into a deathclaw?"

She moved closer, setting a hand on his knee. "Vulpes, being uninjured isn't the only kind of being all right."

"Please spare me," he said, brushing her aside. "What are the odds of you leaving me alone?"

"Oh, not a bet you should take," she said. "Trust me, I own a casino."

"Fine," he sneered. "I suppose there's no way around this if I want any peace in my lifetime. Let me tell you all about that day. It's a fantastic story." He had been holding an empty glass bottle, the caramel liquid long gone, and pitched it aside. It shattered against a rock. "When the Legion arrived, my mother heard the shouts and saw them. She picked me up and ran, hiding in a cave. She told me she loved me, that she would never let anyone hurt me, and kissed my forehead. Then my mother turned me around so my back was to her, and she put a knife to my throat." Maria drew in a sharp breath, but said nothing when she saw Vulpes' eyes narrowed at the noise. "She started to cut, and I screamed. I tried to get away but couldn't, she was too strong. So I bit her arm until she dropped the knife, and I ran away."

Maria tried to put her arms around him, not knowing what else to do.

"Stop that," Vulpes said, shrugging her off. "You wanted to know. I'm telling you. I'm not done yet." She released him and, after a moment, grabbed his hand. Vulpes didn't object. "I was so scared that I ran straight into a legionary. He looked at me, called me a tough little bastard, and picked me up under his arm. When my mother came chasing after me, still carrying the knife, he looked at another man and said take care of her, would you?" He took a breath, no longer sounding angry. "After the Malpais Legate shot my mother, Caesar carried me to the center of the village and dropped me on the ground with the other boys who were to be taken away. I landed on my face in the dirt. When I got up, I was right below my father's severed head. Cato got there not long after. He told me what happened while he stared at our father's severed head and tried not to cry." He sounded more thoughtful now. "We never got along, but I still felt bad for him. I thought he had the right to grieve, although I didn't know the word at the time. His mother had died protecting him, and took out a legionary in the process. Mine died trying to kill me. I couldn't cry for her." He took a long unsteady breath. "Now you know," Vulpes said. "I've never told anyone that. Not even Cato."

When she grabbed his hand, Vulpes' fingers were limp. Now, she could feel the bones of her fingers grinding in protest at the strength of his grip. "Vulpes," she said, picking her words carefully, "I don't think your mother wanted to hurt you. She thought she was saving you from something worse than death."

"Is that what I am now?" he asked bitterly. "Worse than dead?"

"She didn't know," Maria said. "It was a long time ago. She didn't know what they would do with you, how could she? They were an invading tribe to her. For all she knew they were cannibals or chem freaks."

Smiling sadly, Vulpes put his free hand on her face, turning her towards him. "The way you say that almost makes me believe it to be true," he said, kissing her cheek. "But the truth remains, that ignorant tribal wench who bore me pulled me into a cave and began to slit my throat without even waiting for the defenders of our village to die. My father still lived; I could see him as she carried me off."

Maria didn't argue. It wasn't the man she was reasoning with; it was the angry, betrayed little boy. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I… I am so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that."

"Sometimes I wonder, you know. I ask myself, am I such a monster?" he asked, finally looking over at her. "Is what I became so horrible that my own mother would have rather seen me dead on a cave floor?" Vulpes was looking past her again. "I don't see myself as a monster. I've always been true to my lord and my gods. I've never beaten a mistress. I discouraged rape and abuse of prisoners by the men under my command. I never tortured without cause. I work to keep my brother safe. But then…" he paused, seeing her once more. "Then I see the way your friends look at me, the way you once looked at me. Not as an enemy, not as an adversary. As a monster. A thing. And I wonder if she was right."

"No," Maria said. "I was afraid of you. I'll admit that. I was terrified, not just of you but… of what I'd managed to get myself into. But I never thought you were a monster." He was calmly watching her, blue eyes unreadable. "If I thought you were a monster, I never would have pulled you from that barn. I wouldn't have dragged you across the yard, into the house, and down the stairs. I wouldn't have spent hours picking tiny bits of metal out of you, stitching you up, and watching to make sure you woke." She released his hand, resisting the urge to clench and unclench a fist to ease away the crushing pain. Maria shifted instead, wrapping an arm around his waist, laying her legs over his. "I know you think I'm impulsive, but really… that's giving me an awful lot of time to go without reconsidering what I was doing. I'm not br—"

"What?"

She laughed, but quickly covering her mouth.

"What, Maria?" he asked again.

"I was going to say I'm not brain damaged but…"

He stared at her for a second, mouth open. After what seemed to be a failed attempt at replying, Vulpes started laughing as well. "I suppose," he said, struggling to regain control and wiping tears from his eyes between more bursts of laughter, "I suppose that makes for two of us."

After a moment he put an arm around her. "So," Vulpes said, "what are we going to do with our new arrivals?"

"I've got a plan," Maria said. "They're not going to be happy on the road, and they won't want to help you. But I think I have a way that will let them go back to New Vegas safely." She shrugged. "It won't do wonders for my reputation out there, and will make it pretty much impossible for me to ever go back, but I wasn't really planning on that anyways. We're going to have to wait until we get to The Fort, though." Vulpes looked curious, so Maria began to tell him what she had in mind.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! If you're following my Elder Scrolls fic, sorry for the false-alarm chapter a few days ago. Someone, not naming names but I do live alone, accidentally saved over chapter 5 with a draft of chapter 4. I've got to rewrite the entire thing, it should be done in a day or two.