This Is Us

by Lynnth2014

Sex, secrets, lies, jealousy, betrayal, drama all can be found on the job as one of Philly's finest. Digging through lives to solve murders is all in a day's work for Tara Chambler and Carol Peletier, though being homicide detectives cannot prepare them for what's to come in both their romantic lives and on the job.

25. Glass Walls

A/N: I would like to apologize to all who read or are currently reading this story. I had plans to update this on my five year anniversary, but I've been caught up with work and my health issues, and I am so sorry for the major delay on this story.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing.

– – –

"I don't think a big Christmas party is going to be a good idea." Glenn sat on the edge of Aaron's desk, fiddling with the only work issued tablet their department had been given while stating his input on the holiday parties to come. "Or New Years Eve. I mean, getting drunk was fun before we had Lauren, but dealing with a hangover and a five month old is brutal. It's actual hell."

"Who said you had to drink in the first place?" Tara sat beside Carol at Carol's desk, sharing the lunch she'd ordered while finishing up paperwork from their previous case.

"It's a work party. Of course I'd have to drink." He glanced around the doorways to ensure any uniforms didn't hear that. "I love you guys, but a lot of unis are...boring and romantize our job. It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"That's true."

"Well, we have to do something to celebrate Lauren's first Christmas and the coming New Year." Carol tapped her pen on the desk. "We can't just stay at home. I want to see Lauren with the gifts I bought her. And you guys."

"I know. I do, too, but you won't fit in our apartment. Hell, we barely fit." He grumbled the last bit.

"Look who's finally agreeing with his wife." Rosita used his shoulder as an armrest, coming back from visiting the warehouse where all closed cases were filed. "I'm so proud of you." She'd only caught half of the conversation, but she'd fit in where she could.

"Yeah, I do see some of Maggie's points," he confessed. "I had to brush my teeth and shave in the kitchen, because Maggie had to give Lauren a bath then get ready for work."

"Why couldn't Beth give her bath?" Carol asked, knowing the youngest Greene had popped over for the holidays since Hershel and Annette had decided to spend Christmas with some old friends. They would spend the actual day with Glenn and Maggie and their granddaughter, but the weeks leading up to it were spent with friends, so Beth came early.

"Blowout diaper. Beth wouldn't go there." He blew out a sigh. "I offered, but I was already dressed. Maggie didn't have to be in till ten, so she bathed her. I'm lucky I was even able to get my own toothbrush." He was still unsure it was his. He just hoped it wasn't Beth's. He'd used Maggie's before by accident, and while he wasn't okay with sharing a toothbrush, he'd rather it be with his wife than his sister-in-law.

"Why don't you just give in and shop for a house?" Aaron rested his chin on his knuckles. "You need a room for Lauren, a guest bedroom, a master bedroom, two baths. It's not that out of price range."

"Do you know what they pay us?" Came from both Tara and Rosita, who shared a brief look.

"They have savings. They can borrow from Hershel or, hell, even me if they had to." He turned to his computer. "I know of three different places nearby your work and Maggie's that would suffice."

"You've been house shopping for me, again?"

"Well, somebody had to." He pulled up the first option. "It has a backyard, a fireplace, three bedrooms, two baths. It's smack in the middle of both your and Maggie's jobs."

"Yeah, but how much is it?"

Aaron cleared his throat. "It has a fireplace..."

"See." Glenn shook his head. "Just send me the list, and I'll go over it." He might even show Maggie. He did want to move now that Beth was staying with them, and he had to bunk on his own couch, because she and Maggie fell asleep talking. He just didn't want to admit it, because moving was out of their price range right now, and he didn't want to drown them in debt. He didn't want to ask Hershel for money, or Shawn. Or his own parents. But he might just have to bite the bullet.

"I already did. It's what you spammed."

"Oh." He pulled out his phone and checked the spam folder. "Wow. You did send me a lot of options."

"Well, I'm your partner. It's my job to look out for you, especially when my goddaughter's involved."

"She's not your goddaughter."

"All of your babies—and I mean all of you guys—are my godkids. Legally or not, they're my godkids." He made a circle gesture to the room. "Even when I have two of my own."

Rosita dropped her arm from Glenn's shoulders and cast her eyes to the floor at that, shifting uncomfortably. It spread throughout the room, Tara picked at the teriyaki chicken with her chopsticks, Carol rubbed the back of her neck, Glenn studied the list with a fine toothed comb, and Aaron felt guilty at mentioning that when he and Rosita hadn't talked since last month about it. He didn't expect anything from her. But did she know that?

Just as Aaron opened his mouth, Boss came out of his office with a serious look on his face, and they all turned their attention to him.

"You look glum, chum." Tara tried to lighten the mood, but to no avail.

"Well, I just got the word from cold case," he told them. "Stillman...finally turned in his papers."

"What?" his entire squad exclaimed.

"Yeah." He nodded. "On January 15th, Stillman will no longer be lieutenant of the cold case unit."

"I think I just died." Tara set a hand over her heart. "No, no, I'm alive."

"Why is he leaving?" Carol couldn't believe it. He'd been in that unit since its formation, and he'd been with PPD since he was probably in diapers. What the actual hell? Was this an AU? What was happening?

"He's been with us for a long, long while. He's due his rest." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "We'll be throwing a retirement party for him that night. It'll be...rough to see him go, but all good things must come to an end. We won't be sad. We'll celebrate the years we had with him, and we'll celebrate the promotion of whoever he decides to fill his shoes."

"Wow."

He nodded. "I expect all of you to be there, dressed in black tie attire."

"Of course we will," Aaron replied. "I'd love to see the old guy off. He's been my role model since forever."

"He's more of a father-figure for me," Carol commented.

"And for Rush," Tara murmured. "Dude, she's gonna be crushed."

"Life happens." Rosita shrugged. "You adjust, or you get caught in the tides."

"Doesn't mean you can't feel anything about it," Glenn remarked.

"Just be there at Jone's with kind words and sympathetic smiles." He smirked lightly. "There's an open bar for Stillman leaving, free food, and Jacqui down in the lab has offered to babysit any kids. She doesn't do parties or goodbyes, but she wants people to be able to do them, so Glenn, I expect you there."

"Of course, Boss." He nodded.

"All right. You guys should get home, get some rest. It's late."

"Just finishing up some paperwork." Carol was on her last line.

"All right, but after that, I want you all home. You've worked yourselves to the bone, and I worry." His eyes fell on Rosita, who had been back for a week now, and he was worried, but she was doing just fine. He was proud of her. "Understood?"

"Understood," they all answered.

"Good." He stepped back into his office, glancing at Carol and Tara before closing the door. Hmm. Stillman was retiring, his crew was growing up on him, and things were...different now. It made him question some things. Maybe he'd call his sister, stop by and see his nephew. Yeah, he might just do that.

––

"It's just us tonight." Carol stepped into the apartment, tugging the sleeves of her knit sweater down with her fingertips, and she crossed her arms. "Hence the lack of heat. Holy shit. It's cold as ice."

"Here." Daryl removed his coat and put it across her shoulders, moving around her to turn the heat on.

"Thanks." She slipped her fingers over the collar, tugging it closer and smelling his soap and natural scent. She buried her nose in the scent.

"I'll make some hot chocolate. You said you wanted somethin' sweet?"

"We have that pumpkin spice loaf." She gestured to the discarded box on the end table where there mail sat abandoned.

"Coffee oughta pair well with it."

"True." She stepped closer to him. "But there are other ways we can get warm."

He smirked, bending his head down and kissing her softly. She pushed up on the tips of her toes to be at the same height level as him, her arms moving around his neck, and he cupped her cheek. She felt his coat fall down her shoulders and land on the floor, but she didn't feel the cold much now as his tongue slipped into her mouth. She brought her hands down to his cheeks, and she put her weight onto her chest to move him backwards to her bedroom when the front door closed.

"Sorry." Tara covered her eyes. "I'm just grabbing a couple things."

For the love of... Carol turned around. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here, for one, and for two, I need to pack a bag." She started smiling widely. "Guess who called me."

"I'll go start the coffee," Daryl said before this guessing game began and excused himself to the kitchen.

"Do you know what was about to happen here?" Carol softly hissed. "Seriously?!"

"Lilly called me." Tara was too excited to care. "She wants me to come and see her and Meghan. For Christmas!"

"What?" Carol's anger dissolved, although other parts of her were still pissed at Tara. "That's awesome!"

"It is." She couldn't stop smiling. "She wants me there for the whole week of Christmas, and Boss okay'd it. I haven't seen them for a whole week since before they moved. Do you have any idea how excited I am? I'm already wanting to pack and buy snacks for the trip and gifts!"

"I'm happy for you." She smiled back at her. "I know how much you miss them."

"And the best part?" Tara caught Carol's hands. "Phillip won't be there. He has a business trip out of the country for two weeks for some merger, so it'll just be us. No tension, no interruptions, just me and my niece and my sister for an entire week. Can you believe that? God, I haven't stopped smiling since she called me."

"How did she sound?"

"A little nervous, but she sounded super thrilled. She was talking so quick, trying to get to the "good part"." She laughed. "And Meghan got on there—and she sounds so grown up—and she told me she made up the guest bedroom already she was so ready to have me there."

"Aww."

Tara's eyes fell to Daryl, who peeked in from the kitchen to see if they were still in the midst of an important conversation, and she felt guilty. "I'm sorry. I'll hurry up and pack then I'm out. I'm going to the range to try and work out this nervous energy. Plus, I need to top Aaron's top score. He's meeting me."

"Why pack tonight? Christmas isn't for three weeks, give or take a week."

"So I can get it over with, and I need to kill some time, because Aaron and Eric are having dinner. They're talking about surrogates." She lowered her voice since it was a personal matter. "They might have found one."

"Really?" Her brows shot up. "I thought they were still interviewing people."

"They were, but they found...a perfect person to be their surrogate—outside of you and Rosita, I mean."

"Tell them I wish them all the luck."

"I will."

"And I'm sorry to seem rude, but can you pack tomorrow? I haven't had time with Daryl since before Thanksgiving."

"Yeah, I see the hand action you two were giving each other. You're like teenagers." She was only slightly teasing.

Carol sighed. "I just have plans for us tonight, okay?"

"Plans?" She was about to joke but saw how serious Carol was. "Wait, is tonight, like, the night?"

"I'm trying for it to be."

"Okay, I'll grab some food at Glenn and Maggie's. Let me just get my other coat. It's snowing again, and this one is soaked."

"That's fine. Just, please, don't linger. Kick Aaron's ass, too."

"You know it." She released Carol's hand and went to her room to change her coat and shoes. These made her slide like a motherfucker. It wasn't fun.

"Should I go?" Daryl stood in the hall to the kitchen. "If y'all have stuff to talk about—"

"What? No, no, we have nothing to talk about." She shook her head. "Tara's just changing coats."

"You sure?"

"Of course. I want to spend time with you. I've missed you." She closed the space between them and laced her fingers through his. "Do you want to leave?"

"No. I just don't wanna be in the way."

"You couldn't possibly be in the way." She smiled gently at him. "Do you know how much you mean to me? How could you possibly think you'd be in my way?"

He blushed. "How much do I mean to you?"

She wasn't ready for those words just yet, because the last time she said them, she regretted it. She died inside because of it. She lost part of herself because of it. She just wasn't ready for them, but she had other words. Meaningful words. Truthful words. "You have my heart," she whispered. "I don't want anybody else."

He smiled widely and kissed her, letting go of her hands to cup her face and back up her up against the wall beside them. She gripped his hands and tried to catch her breath, but he wasn't letting that happen. He pushed his body right up against hers, his knee carefully parting her legs, and she was trapped there between the wall and his body.

Tara was about to tell them she was heading out, but at the scene before her, she just bolted the hell out of there, because it was obviously about to get rated R up in that apartment. She saw enough straight sex as a teenager. She didn't want to see it live as an adult. But whoo for Carol, gettin' some.

In the apartment, Daryl's hand were now underneath her sweater, leaving the skin he touched hotter than the sweater ever could. She still couldn't move, but he'd given her lips a small rest as he traced her jaw and nibbled down her neck. She dug her fingers into his shoulder, her other hand resting on his hip, and she couldn't help but squirm underneath him. She wanted more. All the months of not having sex with someone she cared about were hitting her hard, and she felt like a teenager. She wanted him inside of her so badly. God, her entire body was aching for him.

She moaned when his fingers brush along the sensitive skin of her belly revealed by her sweater being pulled up, his fingers traveled down to the button of her jeans, easily undoing the button. His forehead fell on hers, her eyes were still shut, but his were open and watching her reactions. As he unzipped her jeans, her lips parted in anticipation, and his lips curled into a soft smile to the side of his mouth. He watched her swallow when he tugged on the lace of her panties, her breathing escalating, and he kissed her then.

She didn't seem to expect that, but she certainly welcomed it. He could almost taste her desire, and he wanted to show her how he felt. He wanted to do so much to let her know what he felt, but he wasn't good with words. He wasn't all that good with actions either. He knew what she wanted to happen tonight. Hell, her roommate knew, but he wasn't...ready for that. It was a massive step, and he had his own issues with it, so until he found the words, he'd do this.

He pulled back, shifting his leg, and she opened her eyes to look at him. He brought two fingers to his lips, inserting them to moisten them, and he removed them, reaching down between her thighs and finding the area he'd left exposed moments ago. She dug her fingers deeper into his skin, and he found her warm and wet. He'd done this before, so he knew what she liked, but that wasn't what he was trying to do tonight. Not entirely.

When he pulled his fingers out, she frowned and her eyes flickered to his, a question rising in those dark irises. He didn't say anything, simply placed his hands on her hips and tugged on her jeans, her body moving with his motion, and he bent down to move them to her knees, and she nearly stumbled. He caught her waist and balanced her, seeing a blush rising on her face, and he had to admit this could have happened with less fumbling, but...maybe some fumbling was okay.

He kissed her knee gently, seeing some faint scarring there, and he moved to her thigh, stroking the soft skin on her other leg. He looked up at her as he placed a kiss to her inner thigh, and she blushed even more. He glided his hands up her legs to hold her waist, her hands fell over top his, and she lost her breath when his next kiss was on her lips. She nearly collapsed when she felt his tongue, her body tightening at the attention, and she couldn't catch her breath. She was dizzy from the pleasure of it, and she was glad he had a hold of her, because fuck.

She moaned, her head meeting the wall behind her, curls landing in her face, and she gasped for air. "Daryl." She couldn't even think of any other words. "Aah." No other words existed. No other world existed. It was just them in this moment and everything else was...fiction.

– – –

They were on the couch now, Daryl was underneath her on his back, and Carol was lying across his chest, their legs tangled at the end of the couch. A blanket was laid over top them, The Polar Express playing on the TV, providing the only light. One plate littered now with only cake crumbs and a single fork rested on the table between two cups of coffee. Carol was studying him as he half watched the movie, very aware of her eyes, and she decided to speak at last.

"You didn't have to prove anything," she muttered.

"Hmm?" His eyes met her.

"You didn't have to prove anything," she repeated, louder. "Before...in the hall."

"It wasn't about provin' anything." He reached up and twisted a finger through on of her curls. "I did it 'cause I wanted to."

"Why didn't you just...?" She exhaled softly. "I mean, it was...great...what you did, but I'd like to do more than that with you. I want...all of you. I want you inside me." She didn't blush this time. "Don't you want that, too?"

He inhaled. "I do, but...it's complicated."

"How? I'm on the pill. You have condoms. We both want to. How is it complicated?" She didn't mean to sound so crass, but she had to know why. "Is...there something you don't want to tell me?"

"I don't actually have any condoms," he admitted. "I haven't had any in about a year. I don't really need 'em."

"Why wouldn't you need them?" She frowned. "Wait, do you not use condoms? Wait, is that why you want to wait? Do you have something?"

"I'm clean," he assured her. "I just...haven't been in a relationship."

"In a while," she added.

"No, ever," he confessed.

"You've...? You've never been...in a relationship? How is that possible?"

"I grew up in a small town. People didn't like my family, and they kept their distance. When I moved down here, I didn't want anything but to achieve my goals."

She nearly shot up. "You've had sex before, though, right?"

He chuckled at how her jaw dropped. "Yeah, Carol, I've had sex before. I just...don't do relationships. I mean, I didn't. I only just started dating a couple years ago. I didn't care much for it, to be honest, not till I met you." He tucked hair behind her ear. "I don't want to screw this up."

"I don't either, but...I feel like you don't want to share yourself with me like that."

"You know that's not true."

"I know, but...it worries me." She met his eyes. "I've only really been with one guy, and it was so diffferent than us. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong, that I'm doing something that makes you not want me—"

"Carol, I do want you. You have no idea how much. I just..." He let out a frustrated breath. "I don't want to fight about this."

"I don't want to fight. I just want answers. What is so bad that you don't want to have sex?" As soon as those words left her lips, an answer came screeching into her brain. Oh, God. He moved to the city when he was young, and his parents didn't care. No good parent would just let their kid move across the country at fifteen unless they were doing something awful. He said it was complicated on their first date. Oh, God, Daryl.

"What's wrong?" He frowned at the tears in her eyes. "Carol?"

"Is that why you don't talk about your parents? Did they do something to you?" She felt numb. "Did someone...abuse you?"

Daryl went rigid underneath her. "What?"

"You moved when you were really young. Your parents didn't mind. Your brother also came with you, so...was it your mom or your dad?"

He pushed her off and away from him as carefully as he could. "I don't want to talk about it."

She whimpered soundlessly. So one of them did abuse him. "Daryl—"

He stood up. "No. It's in the past. I ain't goin' there."

"If they hurt you—"

"Would you want to talk about somebody that hurt you?" His eyes burned into hers. "I don't think so."

She swallowed. "I just want—"

"It ain't your business," he decided. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Not my business? It's your past, Daryl. It's a part of you no matter what, and I want to know all of you. I care about you so much, and I—"

"It's not a part of me," he cut her off. "It is what it is, and it's over. Keep your damn nose on your face."

She flitched at the anger in his face. He was standing away from her, breathing heavily, and he was being defensive. This was an extremely touchy subject. He was yelling at her, glaring at her. It wasn't in the past. It was so far from being in the past. "Daryl—"

"What? What can you possibly say to make any of it better? Your words don't mean shit to my scars." He scoffed. "You wouldn't even understand."

"I would understand. I do understand!" She climbed off the couch. "My life isn't all peaches and roses!"

"It wasn't like my life, trust me on that."

"Then trust me enough to talk about it with me! I want to help you through this. It clearly still affects you."

"It doesn't."

"Then why are you yelling at me? Why are you so short of breath? You're mad. You're livid. You're in pain. You need to talk about it."

"Words don't mean shit."

That stung, and she blinked back tears. "So when I told you you have my heart, that meant shit, too?"

"Yeah." It came out before he could process her sentence. "Wait, Carol—"

"I think you should go now." She ducked her head.

"I didn't mean to say that. It was..." He heaved a sigh. "It was an accident. Slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it. I know how you feel, and I... I feel the same. I really do. I just don't wanna talk about my old man, okay? It's in the past. I can't deal with it right now."

"How about ever?"

"What?"

"If you can't deal with what he did to you, how are we ever going to move forward?" She lifted her head, and his heart broke. She was sobbing, hurt by his words, by his actions, and she was thoroughly upset. "What he did to you...was unspeakable, and he should be in prison, rotting for the rest of his life. And you say it's in the past, but it's not. It's right here between us right now, and it's hurting our relationship."

"How? We were fine, even before you figured it out."

"Fine? Daryl, you won't have sex with me because of what he did to you! It's not okay. It brings up those memories, doesn't it?"

It dawned on him then they were having two different conversations, and she wasn't crying because of what he did to her, what he said to her, but what she thought his father did to him. He wondered how she figured it out so out of the blue and so quickly. She hadn't. She'd assumed the wrong thing, and he didn't let her explain. He jumped on the defensive and hurled anger at her. He did exactly what Merle did when people brought up their old man. She was right; it wasn't in the past. It was between them right now, and he had hurt her. Him.

"Carol, he didn't...abuse me like that." He moved towards her. "It wasn't sexual."

"What?" She blinked at him. "It wasn't?"

"No. He...used to put his hands on me, but it wasn't with anythin' but rage." He exhaled. "And me not being ready to have sex has...little to do with his abuse."

"He did abuse you?" Her heart broke. "He beat you?"

He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Me and Merle both, but I don't want to talk about it. I just can't."

"Will you ever want to talk about it with me?" She wiped at her eye.

"I don't know. I've never wanted to talk about it. I've always kept it to myself. It ain't an "out of sight, out of mind" type of thing. I got scars. I see 'em every damn day." He swallowed. "I just can't go back to that place in my mind, okay? It's not you. It's me. I've tried to work passed it before, but it doesn't do any good. It just brings back all the things I lived through."

"You're a good person, Daryl. You deserve to be able to go through your life with this...issue resolved, not bottled up. What'll you do if you have kids?"

"I won't abuse them!"

"I know you won't. I just meant you might distance yourself from them for fear of abusing them, of being anything like your father. Daryl, these things don't just go away by ignoring them. Trust me on that."

"I know, but bringin' it to light never helped me any!"

"Maybe you didn't find the right person to talk to."

"There is no "right person"."

"What are your goals for life?" she suddenly inquired. "I know you want to be a carpenter, but what else?"

"What else is there?"

She scoffed. "Kids, a partner, a house, a life without debt—the list is pretty damn long." She studied him. "You don't want kids?"

"Not really. I mean, I never thought about it. I never had anybody who made me want to think about it."

"Not even me?"

"I haven't been with you long enough to consider that kind of future with you."

"I have." She gulped down tears. "Maybe it's a me thing. Maybe I move too fast, but I have. I've seen you with Bri, and of course I think about...a future with you, having children with you. How could I not?"

He didn't want to admit he had thought about it. He'd seen her with Bri and Amy, and she fit so well with both of them. He loved how they clicked. They were already friends, and Bri asked about Carol every time she came over. He didn't have the guts to admit it. It was foolish, but this was unknown territory. He didn't know what the hell to do here. He was scared. He'd never been so honest before. He never had any reason to be.

"I think I might be in love with you," she confessed. "I don't know for sure, but simply thinking that I might be says a lot. I don't want any reply from you, but...if you haven't thought about a future with me...or even feel slightly the same way as I do...then maybe we ought to just end this here. I don't want to waste another three years. I don't want my heart broken again. I'm sorry, but I don't. I hate to put you on the spot like this, but I need to know if I'm wasting my time. If we're wasting each other's time."

He stepped back. "And if I can't give you an answer?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Can you not give me an answer?"

"I don't think I can."

"Then I think you should just leave." She brushed by him and headed for her room, hearing him calling to her as she walked by, but she didn't stop until she'd locked her door and collapsed onto the floor. She sobbed and pulled her legs to her chest.

––

"Hmm." Rosita shed her coat and boots by the door, stretching as she walked into her apartment. She had met her cousin for dinner, and she was stuffed. It felt so good to be out and about with family. She missed just hanging out with them. She needed to do that more often.

"Good meal?"

"Very good." She rubbed her stomach and walked over to the couch, kissing her girlfriend. "I see you've made use of the spare key."

"Just a little." Tara set the book she'd been reading down across her chest. "Carol and Daryl are getting it on, so I thought I'd crash with you."

"Lucky me." She sat beside her. "Did you kick Aaron's ass?"

"You bet I did." She didn't smile though.

"What?"

"I beat his ass, but Eric beat both of our asses."

"What?" She laughed. "He did? No way."

"Yes, way. All way. He's a killer shot. He's...precise and focused. He's better than Boss."

"Wow. I can't even imagine that."

"Yeah, Aaron set him up with a trainer when the bomber was after us, just in case he tried to take any of our loved ones out, and that trainer taught him well. I'm tempted to book a session with him."

"Ditto. Boss is an awesome shot."

"He's taken out a lot of kneecaps in his days," Tara mused.

"True. He doesn't shoot to kill like most cops."

"He isn't like most cops."

"True again." She brought her legs up and crossed them. "I can't believe he beat you. I gotta try and beat him now."

"Good luck."

"Thanks." She met her eyes. "And speaking of Aaron and Eric...they called me on the way home tonight."

"Oh?" Her brows rose.

"They met with the surrogate and discussed the details."

"Did they sign the paperwork, too?" It was meant to be a joke, but Tara was curious.

"No, but the lawyer is drawing up the paperwork as we speak. They'll inseminate her on Friday, the day before Christmas Eve." She smiled somewhat. "They're little gift with a loading time."

"I don't know what to say."

"I have some things to say to them before any ink dries," she confessed. "They told me who she was, and as much as I want them to have a baby, I don't think this is the way. It seems...rushed. I can't believe she even agreed. Her heart's in the right place, but...I don't think she knows how hard it's gonna be."

"Who's she, Ro?"

"Beth. They chose Beth."

"What?" Tara gasped. "As in Maggie's little sister? That Beth?"

"Yeah."

"How is Maggie okay with that? How is Beth okay with that? It's like her first born child, only not, but still. She can't handle that. She gets overly attached to puppies! This will break her heart. Doesn't she realize that?"

"Yes, but her heart is just so eager to help heal their hearts that she...see that. She's such a good kid, but she doesn't... She can't see how terrible this'll unfold in the end." She moistened her lips. "I know she's a grown woman and can make her own decisions, but this is insane. This isn't the type of choice she should have made without thinking it through for at least a few days."

"Did they just spring it on her?" Tara couldn't see them doing that to Beth.

"No, she asked. Apparently, Glenn and Aaron were talking about it, and she overheard. She wants to do it. She decided then and there to give them a baby, and she didn't even think on it. She couldn't have to answered so quickly."

"If she changes her mind...it's gonna kill them."

"If she can't give the baby up and they have to go to court...it'll kill all of us." Rosita shook her head. "I gotta talk to her."

"When?"

"I don't know. Tomorrow? She's in town—clearly—to be with Maggie and Glenn for the holidays. I'll stop by on my way to work."

"She has a few weeks to think on it. She might back off by then."

"I still want to speak with her." Tara nodded. "I don't know what I'll say, but I'll figure that out tomorrow. Right now...I just need some good news."

"I have good news." Tara grinned. "I get to spend Christmas with Lilly and Meghan."

"What?" Rosita beamed. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Lilly's flying me down there in two weeks to be with her and Meghan for the entire week. It'll just be us girls, too. Phillip has some business over seas or some shit with his company, and Lilly really wants to see me. Meghan even made up the guest bedroom. She snapchatted me." Meghan spent an hour talking her through the snapchat process as Tara only used her phone to keep in touch with work, but now she had that. It was great to see Meghan again, and she couldn't wait to see her and hold her. And Lilly. God, Christmas couldn't come soon enough. "She's so beautiful, Rosita. She's so tall! Well, she's taller than I remember, but still."

"You're...spending the whole week with them? The whole week of Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"That's...incredible, Tara. I'm so happy for you."

"You don't seem very happy." Tara frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" She forced a smile. "You're being paranoid."

"You're faking it. I know when you fake it."

"Only in high school," Rosita joked, trying to change the subject. "And not with your skills."

"Did you want to do something?" Tara ignored that.

"No. I have an ass ton of family who want me over at their place." She shrugged. "I mean, I got you a gift, so I thought...you know, I'd be able to give it to you on Christmas Day, but hey, it's okay. You get to spend it with family. That's better than my silly little gift."

"You got me something?"

"You and our friends."

"I got you something, too. I thought we could do dinner before I go." She reached over and grasped her hand. "I'll take you to that little romantic Italian place and stop by that coffee shop you love to get dessert then come back here and exchange gifts. I have some classic Christmas movies we could watch, and I have the good hot coco. Also I was hoping you'd take me to the airport in the morning." She'd get to see one of her favorite people when she left and when she arrived. It'd be a great morning.

"It's not the same as spending actual Christmas together." Rosita looked bummed. "I am thrilled you get to spend time with Meghan and Lilly, but it sucks. I mean, why didn't they do this last year? If they really wanted to see you, they should have done it sooner."

"Rosita."

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Why didn't they just invite you over on Thanksgiving or something?"

"Phillip isn't fond of me, and I hate him. I wouldn't want to drag down their holiday."

"Have they invited you before?" Rosita narrowed her eyes. "And you just now said yes?"

"Phillip won't be there this time."

"Yes, but it's the first Christmas we'll be spending together!" Rosita snapped then paled. "With Lauren! And—and Daryl! Carol might have invited him! God, Tara, really."

Tara shook her head. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, it's a big deal for all of us to spend Lauren's first Christmas with her. Why do you think we've been making plans?" Her heart was racing at the exposure she'd just threw the fuck out there. "And Carol and Daryl's first Christmas. It's a big moment—meeting this mystery guy. Aaron and I were hoping you'd try and convince her to bring him." That wasn't a lie unlike the rest of it.

"It's not my job to convince her, and I can spend the next one with Lauren. You know, when she's a little more able to understand what's going on. And we'll meet Daryl when Carol's ready to introduce us to him, not before. I won't peer-pressure her into doing anything. I was hoping you'd be happy for me, but clearly, it's all about you."

"It isn't all about me," she retorted.

"It is! You're just using our friends as an excuse! Do you think I can't see that? You're a shit lair!"

"I'm not lying!"

"About Daryl, probably not. But the rest? Bullshit. I know it sucks, but they're my family. I've spent, like, a million Christmases with you, but so few with Meghan and Lilly. I'm sorry, but I'm going. The flight is booked, my bag is already packed, and I'm going."

"Yes, but we were never together before." She didn't care how exposed she was right now. She didn't want to give Tara the wrong idea or have her be pissed at her for a misunderstanding. "We're together, and I wanted to spend this stupid romantic holiday with you. I made plans. I...I was really looking forward to it."

There it was. Tara softened and stroked her hand with her thumb. "Baby, I'd love to spend Christmas with you, but I need to see my sister and my niece. I'm sorry."

"I understand that. I just don't like that they get you for Christmas, and I'm stuck here alone."

"You're not alone. You have the team."

"But you won't be there. It'll just be me and three couples and a baby."

"Beth will be there."

"I hardly know Beth."

She sighed. "There's no real winning, I know, and I'm sorry, but...I have to go."

"I know." She tucked hair behind her ear and met her eyes. "I'll drive you to the airport."

Tara smiled. "I'd love that." She leaned over and kissed her, lifting her hand to cup her cheek. Soft hair brushed against the back of her hand as Rosita shifted, leaning towards her. It had been a while since they'd had sex. Tara wanted to give her space, because of the whole week suspension and all, but she had calmed down and was the same woman everyone knew and loved. She was certainly more forward than before, though, revealing to Tara the most well kept secret Rosita likely had, and it warmed her soul to have gotten that peek.

Rosita pushed Tara down underneath her on the couch, smiling against her lips as Tara's hand slipped underneath her shirt. She missed her touch. She talked to her and held her, but it wasn't as intimate as it was before. It was more sympathetic. A sort of let's-calm-the-crazy-detective touch. She hated it, but just being close to Tara made the hate vanish. And she was ecstatic to know that touch was nowhere near her right now. She needed to feel Tara. She would be leaving for an entire week, and they had a lot of making up to do. There would be plenty of playing catch up, too.

Tara brushed her fingertips along the hard muscle of Rosita's stomach, feeling her skin quiver at her touch, and her fingers were eager to feel more of her. It'd been so long since she'd felt her without it being weird. She didn't know how to handle Rosita during that time, so her touch reflected that in likely the worst way. She had missed this. She'd missed Rosita. She wasn't her that entire time, but now she was, and Tara loved it.

They moved to the bedroom after their last experience with the couch. Rosita and Tara both fumbled with each other's clothing. It'd been a few weeks since they'd even tried to be together, and they were clumsy and keen and full of actual giggles. They would stop to just laugh at how awkward they were being, but it was sweet laughter and cute awkwardness. Rosita would stumble back with laughter, and Tara would stroke her hair and pull her back to her, stealing her laughter with her lips, and they'd work their way towards the bed.

Tara pulled Rosita free of her sweater, leaving her in her mismatched underwear, and Tara caught her hips, rubbing circles into the flesh there. She captured her lips next, Rosita wrapped her arms around her neck and weaved a hand through her short hairs. She moaned into Tara's mouth as she parted her lips with her tongue and pulled her closer. Tara felt as though Rosita wanted to become one with her her grip was so tight, and Tara pulled away from her kiss.

"You're not gonna lose me." Tara bumped her forehead against Rosita's.

"I don't know that," Rosita imparted. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." She opened her eyes. "I do know that."

She kissed her, knocking them back onto the bed, and Rosita trailed kisses along Tara's neck down to her collarbone and to the dip her bra made of her breasts. She paused only to remove the annoying cloth and placed a kiss directly between Tara's breasts. Rosita tended to follow Tara's lead since she had only been with one other woman years ago, but Rosita wanted to lead this time. She wanted to make Tara feel every bit of everything Rosita felt for her, even what she couldn't admit, even what she didn't want to admit. It wanted to be known, and this is how she could get it out. This and many other things, but for now, she wanted her. Only her.

"Rosita..." A fervent breath escaped from Tara's lips, her back arching off the bed, and Rosita innocently looked up at her, as though she had no idea this was one of Tara's major turn-ons. It was one of seven weak spots Tara had, and Rosita knew all of them quite well. This was just her favorite, so she'd give it a lotta love. "Aah."

Rosita leaned over Tara, brushing hair out of her face, and she traced her fingertip over Tara's jawline and around her lips and glided her thumb across her forehead down to her cheekbone. She studied her so thoroughly that Tara was worried.

"What are you doing?" She was able to catch her breath while Rosita stared at her.

"I want to always remember what you look like."

"Rosita—"

She smirked. "I mean like this: an utter weak mess, mewling at me."

"Shut up."

She kissed her. "No more interruptions. I promise."

"I'd appreciate that." Tara laughed. "But it's okay."

"By the way," Rosita spoke, "you're beautiful to look at. It's a little hard to take my eyes off you."

"I know the feeling." She brought Rosita's face down to kiss her, pushing her over with her hips so that she was on top. She wanted to spend tonight with Rosita in every way they could together, because one thing was very clear to her. She was head over heels for this woman, and that wasn't going to change, but perhaps her words should.

I love you. She thought those words as she kissed her girlfriend. I love you. She spelled those words out along her jawline and down her torso. I love you. She caressed those words into her cheeks and her hips. I love you. She poured each ounce of love and affection she felt for this woman into her every movement. She knew Rosita wasn't ready to hear those words, to say them either, but Tara would ensure she felt them. That's what mattered most in the end. People can say anything they want, but going through with it, showing it—that was everything. And to Tara, Rosita...had become everything. She didn't know when, but somewhere from that first shot that night at the club to this moment in time, everything slowly began to click. All of the struggles, all of the heartache, all of the mountains and tears, all of the rocks and blood stains...made sense just by looking into those inky eyes.

She found a peace and bliss in this woman that she never expected to find in, let alone in the woman who stood shoulder to shoulder in the heat of a shootout, who cheered her on in dart matches at Jones, who whopped her ass at pool, who made her laugh and held her when she cried and ultimately stood beside through everything. But of course...how could she have known this would be so close when she kept always ahead instead of beside her?

– – –

Carol dragged herself out of bed the following morning, having cried herself to sleep, and she felt like a mess. She likely looked like a mess, and she fucking smelled like Daryl. Every inch of her smelled like him, and it made her ache, because it had happened. The thing she'd feared the most had happened. She wasn't lovable. She wasn't the marrying type. She was just a quick fix. Whatever the hell that meant.

She snuffled and pushed herself up off the bed, dragging herself to her bedroom door and pulling it open. It smelled like coffee and pancakes and gravy and biscuits. It wasn't like Tara to cook a blowout meal, but maybe she would use it as an opener to pry into Carol's night. She'd only get tears. Ha ha, so funny.

She inhaled to collect herself and stepped out, heading to the kitchen and trying to think of an excuse to just shower and head to the office without being questioned. She opened her mouth the second she entered the kitchen and nearly slapped herself to see if she was dreaming.

Daryl stood in her kitchen in a sleeveless gray shirt and sweat pants that didn't belong in the pile of crap Shane never reclaimed, cooking breakfast. He was pulling biscuits out of the oven at the exact moment she came into the kitchen, and he had the table made up with food and coffee. He'd even busted out the jams they bought, but never used because they never eat at home anymore.

"What the actual fuck?" she whispered to herself.

He turned at the whispering and found Carol staring at him. "You're awake."

"What are you doing here? Why are you cooking?" she demanded. "What the fuck, Daryl? Do you not remember what happened last night?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"We broke up, and you should have left."

"I did leave." He set the tray of biscuits down. "I went home. I went to the store. I picked up your mail."

"That's illegal."

"I didn't open it."

"Why are you still here?" she snapped. "You don't even see a future with me! Why share a present?"

"Because I want to be with you."

Her head was about to explode. "What the actual fuck, Daryl?"

"When I said I don't see a future with you, I meant that I don't see a future. I don't plan ahead, Carol. Every plan I have ever made in my future life since I was seven years old went to shit. I don't make plans beyond the day. I only do weekly plans if I have doctor appointments," he imparted. "I don't know what to do in a relationship. I don't know how to make things right. I don't know how to prove we've moved forward. I don't know what you want from me or this relationship, but I do know that I want to be with you. I'm scared to think about any future with you, because every future I thought I'd have, someone took. Or—or I fucked it up. Or I'm just scared! I'll admit that. I'm not afraid to admit that. But I am afraid of how much I hurt you last night. That wasn't my intention."

"Then what was? To push me away?"

"No. I just wanted to change the subject."

"Well, you did a great job at that," she spat. "And this little speech sucks. You really hurt me last night. You brought every fear I have to the surface, do you know that? Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to handle? Alone?"

"I'm sorry."

"You made me feel like I wasn't enough, Daryl."

"I didn't mean to. I just... I'm so sorry, Carol. You can't know how much. I didn't intend to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. I just don't know how to handle talking about what happened to me, or what might happen to me in the future. Good or not. You grow up like I did, and you expect the worst. How could I tell you I'm half tempted to just say fuck it to my goals and work for Merle for the rest of my life 'cause I do pretty well and pay my bills? How could I tell you that I'm a piece of shit? How could I tell you there are million better guys out there for you? They're not complicated. They're not fucked up. They're...safe."

"Who said I want safe?"

"Isn't that what you want, though?"

"I wanted you," she answered. "But now I'm not sure if we even are worth trying."

"I don't blame you."

"You just became an asshole, and it's not who you are. You don't have to tell me about what your dad did to you, but don't take it out on me. I know it's a sensitive subject, but God, you...you blew up on me."

He lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You don't know what you want, Daryl, but I do. I want a husband. I want kids. I want to further my career. I want to move out of this shitty little apartment and have a spacious house. I want to be loved. I want... I want everything I never had growing up, and I want someone who wants those same things and things of his own beside me. I already went through the false hope with Shane. I don't want to go through that again."

"Would you take him back?" Daryl eyed her curiously. "Shane?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't trust Shane, he broke my heart, and I've moved on."

"Do you trust me?"

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Why do you want to know?"

"I just do. Do you trust me?"

"A little. Less after last night, but yes, I do trust you. Somewhat."

He smiled a little. "Okay then. Would you have breakfast with me?"

"What? No. We're talking. I don't want to eat and talk."

"You didn't eat much at dinner, so I know you're hungry. I made your favorite things, and I even squeezed some orange juice out." He pointed to the pitcher on the counter.

"I'm not hungry."

"You're always hungry in the morning. You raid my cabinets."

"Don't act like we're on good terms. We're on thin ice."

"I know, but I want you to eat. Okay? Please?"

"Fine. I'll eat." She sat down. "What is there to eat anyway?"

"Pancakes, biscuits and gravy, bacon." He set a plate down in front of her. "I got some fruit too. Your toaster kind of freaks me out. It sparks, so I threw it away."

"You threw my toaster away?"

"It almost caught on fire."

"It wasn't yours to trash."

"Are you really going to argue with me over a broken and dangerous toaster?"

"Yes, I am."

He leaned against the counter. "Now you're just picking fights."

"Because I'm pissed off!" she snapped. "Do you get that? I cried myself to sleep, because I feel like the most unlovable fucking human in the entire world? My own mother didn't want me. She left with me an asshole stepfather. My fiance of three years said fuck it and went undercover after dumping me, despite the fact that I could have been pregnant. My best friend is never home with me for more than twenty minutes. And the guy I thought actually liked me doesn't want a future with me. So yeah, I'm pissed off and miserable! I don't want fucking orange juice!" She exhaled sharply and turned away from him, disbelieving that she'd just divulged that much information. She wanted to kick herself then throw herself off the roof of this building. Good God.

"I do want a future with you."

"And now he's lying to try and make me feel better. Let's add that to the list." She stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

"I mean it."

"You just feel sorry for me." She shook her head, marching over to the front door and yanking it open. "Just go. Go home."

"No."

"Get out. I don't want you here. I will have you escorted out by PPD if you don't leave!" She was emotional and screaming and trying to get him out before she cried again. "Aaron and Glenn and Boss will toss your ass out into the snow faster than you can say no again."

"I didn't want to have sex with you, because I'm terrible in bed!" he shouted over her.

Carol blinked, not expecting to hear that or even knowing how to reply to that. "What?"

One of her neighbor's walked by at that moment, Daryl and Carol blushed, and he looked them over before continuing to walk. Carol shut the door and locked it, smacking her face against the cold metal, and Daryl saw her shoulders shaking. His heart dropped, and he could have prayed for her not to cry anymore.

"Carol." She made little gasping noises. "Please, don't cry."

Though as he drew closer, he saw she wasn't crying. She was...laughing. Hysterically laughing. Her entire body shook with laughter as she turned around, falling back against the door, a red flush of color spreading across her face. Under that mess of chestnut curls, her face was glowing with laughter and embarrassment, but mostly laughter. She was so beautiful. He was relieved to see her eyes filled with moisture due to tears, not sorrow.

"Oh, God." She wiped at her eyes. "Fuck my life." She smacked her hands together and dropped to the floor, laughing and gripping her sides. "What's even happening?" She slowly stopped laughing and hummed before falling silent entirely, holding her sides. She didn't move, and the color left her face.

He lowered himself down onto his knees in front of her, her eyes moved to his, and he kept eye contact. "I don't want to leave here with a terminated relationship. I don't want to leave you hurting. That's why I stayed. You mean so much to me, Carol, and I am trying. I've been tryin' this whole time. I don't know what I'm doin' here, and I can't expect you to pull all the weight. I want to do my part. I want to give you...the best parts of me—"

"I don't want the best parts of you," she gently intervened. "I want you, like I said before. I want you—the good, the bad, the ugly. The oral skills, too. Those were nice." She watched him turn blood red.

"You don't want all of me." It was more self-depreciating than anything.

"I do. I want all of you for myself, and I want you to want all of me for yourself. I don't need a ring. I'll take this for starters." She peered at him. "I don't need the whole story. I get that it's complicated. If you ever want to tell me, I'll be there to listen. But for right now, I just need all of you."

"I don't know what that means."

She scooted closer. "Just be yourself with me. Be real with me. Be with me. We'll figure this out together. We both have scars. We both have been hurt by people who were meant to love us. We both...have a lot to work through, but let's do that together."

"I don't want to hurt you again. Not like last night. I can't do that to you again."

"I don't think you will." She rested her hands in her lap. "I trust that you won't."

"Can we just start over?"

"No. I like where we're at. It's honest. I need that right now." She straightened her spine. "You're terrible in bed?"

He blushed. "...yeah..."

"I don't believe that."

"You should."

She giggled at his expression. "Daryl, remember those oral skills I mentioned?"

"That's cause I know what you like. And it's different than sex."

"I think you've been with terrible women," she stated.

"No, it's just me."

"Let me be the judge of that."

He shifted. "What, like now?"

"No, not now. I'm starving right now." She climbed to her feet. "I want those pancakes."

He smiled. "I knew it."

"Oh, wait." She stopped halfway to the kitchen and returned to where he was on the floor, bending over to be at eye level with him. He gulped at how intense she was looking at him, but she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sat down on his lap. "Good morning, jerk."

"Jerk?"

"I don't want to see you the rest of the day after breakfast, okay? I have some thinking to do, and you probably have to work."

"Thinking? About what?"

"If this relationship has a future. I meant what I said before in the kitchen, but...you said a lot, too. You did a lot. That gives you some points, but I can't do this if you're going to hurt me like this again. And I don't want you walking on eggshells our entire relationship."

He wrapped his arms around her lower back. "Okay, that's fair, but I should be here with you. We should talk through this together."

She smiled. "You won't run away?"

"No." He searched her eyes. "If we have any future together, we're only gonna have it by figurin' this out together. And I want to figure it out with you."

She ran her fingers through the hairs on the base of his neck. "I'd like that." She kissed him briefly. "And who knows? We might just have to test out how bad you are. And if you're as bad as you say you are, I'll just have to show you a few things."

"If you say so."

"Do you even like sex?" she abruptly questioned. "I mean, you say you're terrible and avoid it at every turn. Are you...asexual? I think that's what it's called."

"I haven't had good experiences with it. Mostly women Merle threw my way. Nobody...like you. You I actually want...a lot. I just...don't want to disappoint. Or be humiliated."

"I would never humiliate you."

"I'd probably humiliate myself," he murmured.

"Daryl, don't." She set a hand on his cheek to get his attention. "Tell your demons your girlfriend is going to kick their asses, all right? Don't demoralize yourself."

"There's so much you don't know about me."

"And there's so much you don't know about me. We'll learn. And we'll have sex." She smiled at him. "Lots and lots of sex."

He chuckled. "I doubt after the—" he stopped himself, and she smiled happily at that. "Your pancakes are getting cold."

"Let's eat." She hugged him tightly. "Don't give up on us or yourself so easily, please."

He rested his head on his shoulder. "I'm tryin'."

"I know. Me, too." She kissed his forehead. "C'mon."

They headed back to the kitchen and dug into the meal Daryl had prepared in silence. They both had a lot to think about and a lot to talk about, but now was for coffee and for contemplation. The rest would come after digesting. Hurtful words were thrown around but words could be forgiven. There were no unforgivable actions. Daryl did...something no one man ever done for her: he stayed. And that meant everything to her. He could never know how much.

– – –

"Do you want food?" Rosita was resting her head on Tara's belly, tracing lazy circles into the skin there, and she could hear her stomach growling, so she knew she was hungry. Plus, it was like two in the afternoon, and they hadn't left bed. They'd been up till about two and they slept in till one, and now they were just...recovering from Rosita's burst of energy this morning.

"I don't want to get up for food." She picked up her phone. "Think we can get Aaron to bring us food? He already knows about us."

"No." She shook her head. "I don't want anybody over here. Just you."

"Wow, just hog all my Saturday."

"I will." She smirked at her.

"We do need to eat something." She stretched, moaning at how amazing it felt, and she slipped out of bed, leaving a grumpy Rosita behind. She tugged her shirt on and headed down the hall. There was no chance in hell of her finding her panties, and it was just them. Plus her shirt was a night shirt, so it was stretched out and almost to her knees, so if she cooked, any splatter would be instant regret.

"Tara!" Rosita called from the bedroom.

"Yeah?" She stopped in the hall.

"I have a problem." She came flying out of the bedroom, pale.

"What's wrong?" Tara frowned and caught her hand. "Baby, what is it?"

"It's family dinner tonight. I completely forgot." Her eyes were huge and panicked.

"So?"

"So? So? Tara, family dinner! It's December!" She threw her other arm up, tossing her phone by accident, but she was too freaked out to care. "They're coming over! Over here! For dinner!"

"So, it's only, like, two."

"Not with my family." She explained, "We start at one with making dinner. We talk about everything, my mom rearranging my entire apartment, and my dad sits on the couch watching Spanish dramas. My brother is coming over, too, with his baby."

"Okay, I'll just get dressed and leave then."

She sighed. "No, I'm not tell you this so you'll leave." She closed her eyes. "I want you to stay."

Her eyes widened now, and her jaw nearly hit the floor. "Y—you want me to stay? And meet your family?"

"They want to know who I'm dating, and it's you, and I'm tired of lying about being single. I want them to know you. They won't care about us both being women. Mom just wants me to settle down, so if she thinks we're serious, she'll..." She paused. "Actually, you're the first person I've brought home in years, so you'll be hounded regardless, so let's just wash up. They'll be over at three. Caesar's picking them up, and I told him to stall, so we have an hour to look like we didn't just spend all night in bed."

"Okay, do you wanna shower first?"

"Can't we just shower together?"

"We won't get clean, and the whole point is to look like we didn't screw each other into two in the morning, remember?"

"But it'll be faster, and you can scrub my back. Massage my back. I think I have a knot in it."

"You spent an hour on it, so I don't doubt it." Tara smirked, suggestively waggling her brows.

Rosita giggled. "You shower first. I'm going to clean up my bedroom."

"Okay, did you remember to pick up toothpaste at the store?"

"Yeah, it's in the second drawer in the bathroom." She nodded. "I got you a new toothbrush, too. It's green."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to, and yours had bent brussels. That's not good for your teeth."

"You need to shower, not talk to your wife!" came a soft but annoyed voice from behind Rosita.

"What the hell?" Rosita turned and saw her phone on the floor. She never ended the call with Caesar. "You eavesdropping puta!" She picked up the phone and went off on him in Spanish.

Tara dove for the shower then. She didn't want to know what was being said and honestly, she didn't want to meet Rosita's parents half naked in an old PPD shirt. That would be the worst first impression ever. Especially since this meeting was as Rosita's girlfriend, because she was tired of hiding their relationship. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Perhaps we're closer to winning than I thought.

After both women had showered, the bedroom was made up, and Rosita had dug out the pillow her dad loved from the hall closet, they pretty much just paced in the living room. Rosita was wondering if Caesar had killed her parents, and Tara was about to pace holes into the wood. She could only think about the last time she met someone's parents, and it was fracking weird. She didn't want to relive that with Rosita. This relationship meant more than that one, and besides that friendship that bloomed following the end of that relationship meant more to her than anything, so it worked out. Funny that this was the exact opposite of that situation.

"You can calm down. We're here." Caesar walked in through the unlocked door with bags up his arms.

"Finally." She moved to help him with the bags. "I was worried you drove off a bridge or something."

"Almost, but no." His eyes moved to Tara. "Hey."

"Hi, Caesar." She remembered him from the few times he dragged Rosita off to a family event after work. That was back in their rookie days, so it'd been a while. "How are you?"

"Better now." A blonde woman appeared behind him with two year old a on her hip, all bundled up for the cold.

"What she said." He carried bags into the kitchen with Rosita.

"Um, hi." Tara didn't know who this woman was. "I'm Tara."

"Andrea." She walked over to shake her hand. "He's terrible at introductions."

"I just carried in fifty pounds worth of bags," Caesar called from the kitchen. "I'm lucky to not have broken anything!"

She laughed and pulled the beanie off the head of the boy who was his father's mini-me. "This is Demitri. We call him Demi, though."

Demi waved at the mention of his name.

"Hi, sweetie." Tara waved back at him. "He's precious."

"Just like his daddy." Caesar returned to the living room. "Wait, where's little bit?"

"With Marie and Sal." She nodded her head out the door. "She's pretty much taking candy canes off of wreaths. They're also not stopping her, so...we'll have to redo the "don't touch what isn't yours" lesson."

"I'm on it." He jogged out the door.

"Little bit's here?" Rosita shot out of the kitchen. "Why didn't you tell me she was coming? I would have locked up my personal stuff. Jesus." She ran to her bedroom to lock up her shit. She had a spare handgun in here and a vibrator and some toys and a knife! This was not a safe environment for a three year old! Aah!

Tara was confused. "I thought you only had the boy."

"Caesar and I have Demi," she explained. "Liv is mine from a previous...relationship."

She nodded. "Is Liv a nickname, too?"

"Olivia," she nodded.

On that note in came Caesar with Liv on his shoulder, walking like a T-rex, snarling dramatically, and behind him were Rosita's parents, who shut the door as if to hide this embarrassing scene. It was sweet, because Liv was giggling, but still. Awkward to any passer-bys.

"And Liv." Ceasar set her down to introduce her to Tara. "This is Tara, a detective. She works just like Rosita to keep the city safe. She's awesome pretty much. Be nice to her, and she might take you for a ride in her cop car." He winked at Tara, who smirked.

"Okay." Liv smiled at Tara with all of her little baby teeth, and Tara couldn't help but smile back. She was beautiful. She had light blonde hair down to her shoulders, big little cheeks and the greenest eyes. She was a little Andrea without all the curls. She was precious, too. "Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too." She crouched down and shook the little girl's hand. Tara pretended it hurt. "Oof, strong grip. I'm going down."

Liv giggled and tried to prevent Tara from going down, but she was three, so that did nothing.

"Is that my Livvy I hear?" Rosita came flying down the hall. "It is!"

Liv's face lit up. "Rosita!" She jumped up, reaching for her, and Rosita scooped her up. "I missed you!"

"Oh, I missed you, too." She kissed her forehead. "Ooh, you angel."

Tara smiled from where she lie abandoned on the floor, finding this side of Rosita...refreshing. She'd never seen her like this, though they didn't have any kids nearby to do this with, but still. It made her fall even more for this woman.

"Here." Caesar helped Tara to her feet. "Want to help me unload the bags? Mom and Rosita and I will be in there cooking soon, and Demi's due for a nap, so that'll take Andrea away. Help me out?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

Rosita set Liv down on the floor, glancing at Tara and Caesar as they vanished into the kitchen, and she smiled at Demi, planting a kiss to the top of his head. She then hugged Andrea loosely to not smashher nephew, and she moved to her parents, hugging them both tightly. She was anxious about tonight, but good anxious.

Andrea put Demi down for a nap in Rosita's guest bedroom, Sal put on his shows, translating it to Liv, who climbed onto his lap to see what he was doing, and Rosita went into the kitchen with her mom. Tara was in the middle of pulling out some weird little root when they entered, and she nearly dropped it at the sight of Rosita's mom. She set it on the counter and cleared her throat.

"Oh, you. How good it is to see you." Marie greeted her with a wide smile. "You look so good."

Tara had never met this woman before, so what was happening. "Yeah?"

"Mom, this is Tara," Rosita corrected. "Not Carol."

Marie didn't let that bother her. "She still looks good." She moved around her daughter to help Caesar with groceries.

Tara slipped by them. "She's met Carol?"

"Yeah, Carol came with me to a few family events." She crossed her arms. "You won't really get to be introduced until after dinner. I'm sorry. She has a one-track mind."

"No, it's all right. I'll just...find Andrea. I think I can get to know her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She set a hand on her arm before leaving the crowded kitchen, and she found Rosita's dad and Liv watching TV. She spotted Andrea sitting on the floor to the hall, peeking into the guest bedroom, and she went and sat on the opposite wall. "No baby monitor?"

"No, and those shows give me a headache. I can block it out from here."

"Same." Tara pulled her legs in. "So, you have a three year old with an ex and a two year old with Caesar?"

She inhaled. "I know what you're thinking."

"Nothing negative, I assure you. I'm just making conversation, and I don't know any other place to start. I'm sorry if that was rude. I'm...a little on edge."

"It's all right. I don't mind explaining it. Better you know now from me." She set her hands in her lap. "I was with my ex for two years when I got pregnant in the middle of year two. He wanted me to abort. He wasn't ready for another kid. I wanted my baby, you know? So...I tried to stick around and convince him how great a baby would be, but he didn't want her. We broke up when I was seven months pregnant."

"That's rough."

"It is. I was in a different state. I had no family to contact. I had no place to live." She shook her head. "I had to call my sister. She helped me get a place down here. I'm a great saver, so I had enough to buy a place, and she helped me find a townhouse for me and Liv."

"That's lucky."

"Well, Am's just awesome like that. She's been such a help to me. She's been through the whole baby thing, and it was my first, so I was just all over the place. She was my rock the first few months Liv was born."

Tara smiled at that. That's how Lilly was to her. A rock. Before she moved, anyway. And maybe again now.

She pulled her legs in and rubbed her thigh. "I met Caesar when Liv was about four months old. He asked me out for coffee. I said no. I was a single mom, restarting my career." She then elaborated that part, "Phillip didn't want me to have a job when we were together. He wanted me to stay at home and be there for him and his daughter from his first marriage. I fell for it like an idiot, but I did work from home, hence the money I had saved."

Maybe all Phillips were assholes, Tara thought to herself. "Yeah."

"Anyway, I kept running into Caesar. Turns out...he works in my office, and we built a friendship on that. It...turned into something more a few months in, and we slept together. No first date, no nothing. We just...fell into bed together." She couldn't help but chuckle at the memories of it. "And I got pregnant. I cried the entire day I found out, and he came over to see me with flowers and pizza. He was so upset to see me just bawling my eyes out, and he asked what was wrong. He thought I was upset about what happened between us, because I avoided him the first week. He finally worked up the courage to see me, and he thought I was just so upset I'd cried the entire day over him."

"I can see that."

"Right?" She cleared her throat. "I explained what was really going on, and he just dropped onto one knee and asked me to marry him."

"Whoa."

"I laughed in his face." She winced a little in memory. "He was so...taken aback by that, but he caught my hips and held me in front of him and asked me again to marry him. He was serious. I started crying again, and Liv started to cry in the next room at hearing me cry. And he just went into her room, picked her up and held her then came back and comforted me. He told me he was in love with me. That he'd been in love with me since the first time he asked me out for coffee. I thought he was just...trying to make me feel better, trying to offer a quick fix to the situation, but as my pregnancy progressed, he was right beside me. He held my hair through morning sickness, he made me tea and fetched any food I was craving no matter what time it was. He...was attentive to all of my needs and my body changes. He was a rock, and...I fell in love with him during that time, so we got married.

"Nine months pregnant, wearing this god-awful dress green dressed and hobbling around city hall at six in the morning." She laughed, and Tara laughed imagining it. "But we got married. He legally adopted Liv, and we moved into a bigger house. We have a flow as parents and in our relationship. I'm really lucky to have met him, and Amy just loves him. Bri does too. He's another father figure she needs in her life."

"That's awesome."

"It is." She lost her smile. "And it still is, but her asshole dad wants in her life all of a sudden."

"What?"

She nodded, rolling her eyes. "He's coming down for Christmas, because he wants to meet her. I said no, hell no, fuck you, get out, but my dear husband thinks we should give him a chance. "People change", he says. I know Phillip. He hasn't changed. He wants something. I just don't know what, but if he thinks he can use my daughter against me, he's wrong. She isn't his. Her blood is mine, her smile, her eyes, her laughter is mine. Her kindness, her personality, her fits are her dad's. Their Caesar's. Nothing of her is his, and the fact that he thinks...any of it could be infuriates me."

"I get that. That's how my neice's dad was before he finally bailed. He was a real creep. I'm glad he's gone."

"I wish Phillip would have stayed gone." She sighed. "To her, Caesar is her dad. His name is on her birth certificate. It's Olivia Jane Martinez, not Olivia Jane Blake. He already has Penny and Meghan. He doesn't need my baby, too."

"Wait, wait." Tara locked eyes with her. "Blake? Phillip Blake? That's who her sperm donor is?"

She clicked her tongue. "Yes."

"He's married to my sister, Lilly. He—he told her he was going away on business this Christmas, not seeing...Liv."

"Of course he did. He wouldn't want the world to know about the child he had out of wedlock." She put her anger aside. "So, you're...Meghan's aunt? I met Meghan when I went back to talk with Phillip once. She was really sweet. So was her mom. They deserve better than him."

"I think the same."

She smiled a little. "It's weird how we're already connected through family. Well, your family. I'd consider Meg to be a sister to Liv."

"You would?"

"She's a good kid. Smart, articulate, thoughtful. Your sister raised her well."

"Thank you."

"I gotta say...nothing is more fierce than a single mom," she remarked. "Lilly has such a strong air about her, and I can tell she's done right by Meghan. I'm proud of her, and if this seems weird, my sister is a single mom, too."

"Lilly is strong, and Meghan is everything to her. She always comes first."

"That's how Amy is with her daughter. Nothing would break their relationship, and Amy would do anything to keep Bri clothed and safe and healthy. She even has Daryl to help her do that. He's been an incredible light in Bri's life. He has his issues, but he puts them aside to be the father figure Bri needs." She then joked, "Philly knows how to make men. Actual, good men, and women, too."

Tara's head was about to spin off. Andrea was connected to Lilly through Phillip, and Andrea was connected to Daryl through Amy and Bri. Meaning Andrea was also connected to Carol through Daryl. Holy shit. What the hell? Were they all tied together by red strings of fate or what? Shit.

"Rosita is a good woman, and I know she cares about you. This is the first time she's brought us over to meet her partner. This is huge. The last time was awful, and we couldn't stand him, but here I am pouring my life story out to you." She laughed. "I'm not even this open with my husband."

"It's just my trustworthy face," she mused.

"That must be it." She heard fussing from the guest bedroom. "Demi had a nightmare." She climbed to her feet. "This is what happens when his dad decides on the Halloween costumes."

She laughed as Andrea shook her head and tended to her son.

"Boop."

Tara jolted a little finger poked her cheek, Liv giggled at the reaction, and Tara blew out a sigh. "That hurts me, Liv. Real deep."

"I'm thirsty," was her apology.

"Well, that just can't happen, now can it? We must right this terrible wrong." She hopped up and held out her hand. "My lady."

Liv giggled at her and took her hand with both of hers. "Juice! Juice!"

"Yes, a sea of juice!"

Her eyes widened. "I need a bigger curly straw." It was said in all seriousness, and Tara had to bite her tongue not to bust out laughing.

"Probably." Tara guided her to the kitchen to get her some juice, finding Rosita, Marie and Caesar in the middle of cooking and listening to music and dancing. They were having a blast, and it was no wonder it took them forever to cook. Tara would have to bust out some snacks for the little one here.

"Juice?" Caesar opened the fridge at the sight of his daughter. "What are feeling like, little bit? Apple? Grape?"

"Prune?" Rosita teased, and Liv stuck her tongue out.

"Mango," Liv chimed. "Man-gooo."

"All right, gimme some of that man-go." He pulled out her favorite cup and handed it to her. "Mango neat for my sweet."

Liv grinned and accepted the cup, heading back out to the living room to watch TV with Grandpa.

"I swear I'd die for that kid," Caesar announced. "If her asshole old man does anything to hurt her, I'll have to kill him, and you'll have to work my case, sis."

"I can't work your case. You're family." She crossed her arms. "Different last names but same blood. Tara here would have to work it. Be nice to her, and she might even throw out some key evidence."

"Do you like man-go too?"

"I'm good, but thanks." She leaned against the wall. "What do you mean by different last names?"

"I took our mother's last name." Rosita hugged her mom briefly. "Caesar took Dad's."

"Why?"

"Well, it just fit me more. Rosita Espinosa, Caesar Martinez, and if we ever run into each other on business, people won't know we're related. Though they assume because we're brown people." She shrugged.

"And we look alike."

"I'm prettier."

"Yeah, because I'm hot."

"In what world?"

He put his hand on her face and pushed her aside. "In all worlds."

Rosita smacked his arm. "You're insane. And your hand smells like onions. Puta."

"Hey," Marie reprimanded, "don't use that language."

"Sorry." She leaned against the counter and met Tara's eyes and mouthed, But it's true.

Tara chuckled.

"Why don't you stop running your mouth and finish your part of the meal?" Caesar gestured to her neglected pot.

"I'm bringing it to a boil." She rolled her eyes and turned back to actually finish her food. "Don't you have kids to bother?"

"He does now." Andrea walked in with Demi. "He won't go down for me. I think he wants his daddy."

"Here." He took his son carefully from her and rocked him in his arms on the way back to the bedroom.

"Did anybody bring any wine?" Andrea hopefully asked with a sweet smile.

"Cut me open, and I am made of wine." Rosita pointed to the display of wine at the end of her counter. "Help yourself."

"Thank you. I just want one glass."

"We won't judge you for drinking more," Marie commented. "You did marry my son after all."

"Oooh!" Rosita snickered.

"And you have food to finish," Marie cut her daughter's laughter off.

"All right, I'm on it." She turned once more to her pot.

Marie shook her head at her daughter and turned to Tara. "C'mere, I'll show you have to make her favorite dessert. I think you're gonna need it."

Rosita smiled at that and looked over as Tara washed her hands and joined her mom in preparing dessert. This was the best idea she'd had in a long time. All of her family here with her girlfriend. This was bliss, and nothing would change that, no matter how her parents reacted.

– – –

Carol and Daryl were on the couch, two cups of coffee on either end of the coffee table, a thick blanket shared between them. They were facing each other, the only thing touching were their legs as they sat with their backs against their respective arm of the couch. They had been talking for hours, and things were different now. It was like a veil had been lifted, and they were so many options surrounding them. Some were good, one were light, and some were heavy and dark, but it was okay. Those could wait.

"My mom left me when I was a teenager," Carol confided. "She just up and left, and I have no idea where she is now. Or even if she's still alive. I used to think...I'd use my contacts in PPD to find her, to demand to know what the hell made her leave me, but I'm afraid of the answer. I'm afraid I was the reason she left. It was me, not him, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that."

"It's hard to move passed it. I want to believe I'm worth hanging on to, but when your own mother just ditched you...it's impossible to convince yourself you're worth anything. If the woman who brought you into this world doesn't want you...how could anybody else?"

"I know that feelin'."

"I'm gonna be such a better mom than that. I'll make sure my kids are happy and safe and loved."

"I don't know that I'll have kids, but I'll be better than my old man. Better than my brother, too."

"I know you will be." She pulled the blanket to the side and pushed up so that she could lie down over top him, and he wrapped the blanket around her. "We both will be."

"Maybe together," he whispered, knowing she could hear him.

She smiled and gazed at him. "Thinking about the future, are you, Mr. Dixon?"

"Just a bit." He played with her hair. "If I don't...I might lose you, and I really...don't wanna lose you."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause I think I might love you, too," he susurrated, "and I don't want to risk losin' you 'cause...I've never felt this way before. I'm gonna make a lot of mistakes—you already know that—but I'm gonna try my best. I want this to work, and I want you."

She felt her eyes burn, and she kissed him. It was meant to be a brief kiss, a sweet one, but the moment their lips met, a passion swept through them. He grazed his hands up her back, bringing her closer to him, the scent of her flooding his senses, and he cupped her cheek.

She slid up his body to be over him instead of at an uncomfortable angle, opening her mouth to his and feeling him shudder at the access. She had one arm around his shoulder, her fingers combing through soft hairs at the base of his neck, and she used the other to guide his hand every so gently down to the small of her back and underneath her shirt. His hands were rough against her skin, large and cool, but she liked how they felt.

He held her hips and maneuvered their bodies so she was underneath him on the couch. She laughed softly at how many rolls they had to go through to get comfy, but he swallowed her laughter when he hungrily claimed her mouth, his hands on her hips to adjust her underneath him, and she rested a hand behind his neck, gasping when his hips rocked against hers. She knew what he was trying to do, what he was possibly unintentionally doing, and she decided to not be helpful. They were two different heights, not vastly separated but enough that their bodies didn't automatically align. He was trying to fix that, and well, the friction felt...more than nice.

He groaned when she lifted her hips at the same moment he shifted her, and she felt him hard against her inner thigh. She set a hand on his chest, kissing the corner of his lips teasingly, and he tried to catch her lips, but she wasn't letting him. She flicked her eyes into his, finding unadulterated desire there, and she smirked, titling her head back so that he could kiss her.

His hands were still by her hips, so she slid her hand down to his hand guided it under her shirt. She had left her bra off when she changed her clothes hours ago, so that's what Daryl's hand was met with. He gasped softly into her mouth at the tender flesh now in his palm, and she moaned when he began to knead her breast. He wasn't holding back this time, and it only made her want him more.

She trailed a hand down his chest, and she steadily began to pop open the buttons along the way, her knuckles gliding over his breasts and hard upper abdomen. She broke their kiss to run her lips over his chest, her hands undoing the button and fly of his jeans, and she hooked a leg around his lower back.

He reached down for the hem of her shirt and pulled her free of it, tossing it away, and she pushed his shirt off with his aid. When their mouths met again, Daryl grasped her hips and leaned back, lifting her up and off the couch with him. He carried her to her bedroom and set her down on the bed, knocking the pillows by her head to the floor. He began to work on tugging down her leggings, and she kicked them aside.

"God, you're beautiful." He kissed her, smoothing her hair down.

She met his eyes. "So are you."

He seized her mouth once more, feeling her hands on the waistband of his jeans, and he rolled them over so that he was on his back. He kicked them off the rest of the way and found her eyes in the dark room, his hands moving to interlace with hers, and she enveloped him. His eyes shut and he felt like he couldn't breathe at the feel of her around him. Christ, she hadn't even moved yet and he as overwhelmed. Damn it.

She watched him, his breathing escalating, his eyes closed tight, and she had a feeling it wasn't all pleasure. She knew he had anxiety about this, and she didn't want to ruin this moment. He didn't know how this felt for her, how amazing it was just to be with him like this, and it didn't matter if he came first. She wanted him to enjoy this and feel all of her, and her pleasure would come later. He's focused on her pleasure every time they were together, so it was her turn now to focus on his.

––

Carol scrutinized him. They were under the covers now, facing each other, and he hadn't said anything. Carol was worried, because he just sort of fell silent afterward. She didn't know what to say here or even what to think, but she knew what he was feeling and thinking, and it dampened her mood.

She wiggled closer to him, he looked at her, and she huffed. "You're beating yourself up, aren't you?"

"Told you I was terrible." He propped his head on his palm, running his fingers through the hair he could reach. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." She reached over and touched his chest, seeing part of a scar there. "I liked it."

"I doubt that."

"I did. Do you know how amazing it felt to be with you? How it felt when you came? Knowing that I did that?" She poked him. "You were calling my name, and that...was incredible. Don't doubt that."

"What about you?"

"We'll just have to practice more." She playfully batted her eyelashes. "Until then...I did mention those oral skills, right?"

He chuckled and kissed her. "Thank you."

"For what exactly?"

"Givin' me a chance."

"Then thank you," she replied, "for letting me and for...showing me what a good man is."

He ducked his head, blushing, and he mumbled something before moving under the covers. She was confused until she felt him between her thighs, and she felt the knot inside of her belly that formed from their previous tryst tighten...

– – –

Rosita and her mom washed dishes while Tara and Caesar and Andrea did an ice cream run since apparently Liv didn't want any baked goods for dessert, and Tara couldn't eat coconut. They almost killed Tara and Liv threw a fit, so Andrea was going to take them to a little ice cream shop around the block. Rosita was going to use this chance to tell them about her,

"Hey, Ma, there's something I need to talk to you about." She dried her hands and faced her mother. "It's about me, and...I'm worried this might change our relationship. We've always been close, and...I don't know how you'll take this."

Marie braced herself. "You can tell me anything."

"I...I'm bisexual. I've always known. I just...kept it hidden. I mean, I don't even date, so it didn't seem to matter, but...now I am dating. I'm dating, and I really care about her." She gripped the washcloth tightly in her arm. "Tara and I are together."

Marie inhaled and nodded. "You know the story of how you were born, right?"

"Yeah, you and Dad say I'm special, and I'd say Caesar was too. Special Ed." Very immature of ten year old her.

"You are special." She set her hand over Rosita's. "The real reason you and Caesar are ten years apart is because I miscarried. I have several miscarriages, and...then I had you. I prayed for you every night. Your father prayed for you. Caesar prayed for you. And then you came. It took me ten years to get you, my love, did you really think I'd let anything take you away from me?"

Tears filled her eyes, and she embraced her mom. "I love you."

"I love you." She rubbed her back. "And Tara is great. We already love her."

Marie comforted her daughter, encouraging her to tell her father, and Rosita tried to keep from sobbing the entire way to the living room. She knew her mom had her back, but her dad was a different matter. He was stern and set in his ways. She was his little girl, and he had this image of her that wasn't entirely her. It was just what he thought of her, and now she would shatter it. She didn't know how he'd take it.

"Hey, Dad." She rubbed her eye and snuffled.

He instantly turned the TV off and took her hand. "What happened? What's wrong, mi amor?"

"I need to talk to you, and I don't think you're going to like it." She blinked back tears.

"C'mere." He pulled his fully grown daughter down onto his lap like she was five years old again, and he patted her knees. "Let me tell you a story, mi amor."

She sniffed. "Okay."

"We have noisy neighbors. Always have. They want to know everything about both of you kids. They love you both. They're proud of you. So am I." He kept eye contact. "So, every morin' when I go to get my paper, I have one of them ask me "How are the kids?". You know what I say?"

"A cop and a man-child?"

He chuckle. "No, and you know that."

"What do you say?"

"Happy. They're happy. That's what I say." He gripped her knee. "You don't look too happy now. Do I gotta change what I say?"

"No, I am happy. I'm...really happy." She smiled. "I have a girlfriend that cares about me, and I care about her. And it makes sense. I'm not scared."

"Then that's good enough for me. I don't need details. It's your life. I got happy kids, that makes me happy." He wiped her cheeks. "Smile, mi amor. You'll upset Demi if you don't smile."

She laughed. "Okay, I'm smiling. I'm smiling."

"Ah, my girl." He kissed her cheek. "You make me so proud. Don't ever think you could change that with something as trivial as who you bed."

"Dad!" She blushed.

"Eh." He waved her embarrassment away. "She's a beautiful girl. She has a good heart. She makes you happy. Nothing to blush about."

"Thanks, Dad." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Te quiero, mi amor."

"Te quiero."

Tara, Caesar, Liv and Andrea returned with ice cream moments later, the leftovers were put away, Rosita, Sal and Marie were watching Spanish dramas with Demi, and it was about time for them to get home. Goodbyes were said. Sal and Marie told Tara to take care of their girl, Caesar said if she wanted to babysit at any time, give him a call. Andrea told her it meant he trusted her with both his kids and his kid sister. It warmed her heart, and she closed the door once they were out of sight.

"That went well, right?" Tara eyed her girlfriend.

"Very well." Rosita grinned. "I'm glad they came over."

"Me too. I really like Andrea, and your niece is pretty cool for a three year old. A little bossy pants, though."

"Just like her mom."

"And speaking of parents, yours are amazing. Your mom is so thoughtful and nice. Your dad is cool as a cucumber. He translated one of those shows for me and Liv. It makes me miss my parents."

"Oh, right. I forgot...your parents passed."

"It was a while ago. I'm okay." She shrugged her shoulder. "It was great to get that feel of family again. They were welcoming, and I appreciated that, especially for just crashing your dinner like that."

Rosita smiled. "You can crash our dinners anytime you want."

"I just might take you up on that." She crossed over to her and kissed her. "But for now, I have to get home."

"What? Why?"

"I need to take another shower, change my clothes, do laundry, and we work in the morning. It's a session to plan out that Christmas party, remember?" She nudged her. "We'll go home together, though, eat some leftovers. Maybe cuddle."

"I'd love to cuddle." She caught her hands. "Get home safe, okay?"

"As you wish." She kissed her softly. "Good night."

"Good night." She walked her to the front door of the building and watched her pull out. She ambled back to her apartment with a smile on her face and buzzing under her skin at how well this night had gone. She wanted to dive into the remaining chocolate chip ice cream and jump into bed. That was the plan. The perfect end to the best night.

However she came to a dead stop at the sight of flowers on her doorstep, all her bubbly energy evaporated, and her heartbeat increased. She approached the vase of tulips and saw a letter under it. She picked it up and opened it with shaky hands. It was a short letter, and it resulted in her picking up the vase of flowering and hurling them against the wall with a scream. She slammed the door to her apartment and left the letter behind, covering her ears and shaking her head, her eyes burning. No, no, no. "No!"

My dear Rosea,

did you really think this was over? That we were over? We have so many more truths to discuss, my sweet. Like your boss. Tyreese Cole Williams. Hmm, what a man of "honor". He has badges and awards all over his office and all of them are lies. Sweet, shiny, brass lies. He is no man of honor. He is no man.

He is a lair and a cheat. He is a murder. Hardhearted and calculating. He was the very definition of a dirty cop in his rookie days. He lead to the deaths of countless innocents. He has more blood on his hands then he could ever hope to wash off. He only got his position because he fucked over so many people, got so many people killed, that they had nobody else to give it to. Your boss, your role model, the father of PPD homicide division is a lair, a scoundrel and a cold-blooded killer.

But don't worry, I won't let him corrupt you, my dear.