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Chapter Twenty-Five
Flashbacks
Esmerelda enjoyed her class as the weeks went on and was nervous because today she would be starting work at Cackles. She was currently sitting in the new room that had being made for her looking through some notes to try to remember everything. She was to nervous as of now to sit in the staffroom as it was weird sitting with her teachers in her private room. A knock on the door sent her out of her thoughts.
"Good morning Miss Cackle" Esmie said as she saw the woman walk through the door. Ada smiled but her smile turned to one of confusion. Esmerelda looked a bit different, older maybe? She couldn't put her finger on how exactly but there was something different.
"You got a gift" Ada told Esmerelda handing her a box of chocolates with a piece of paper attached to it. Esmie opened the paper and read them message on it.
'Make sure to eat some before the girls get to them or you won't get any, good luck for today. Sauron" Esmie smiled gratefully that he was thoughtful. He knew chocolates helped everyone feel better.
"Thank you Miss Cackle" Esmerelda told the woman as she smiled
"Are you nervous?" Ada asked knowing the girl must be
"A bit, but I am fine thank you" Esmerelda told the woman who smiled at her sympathetically as the bell rang.
"If you need anything come and see me" Ada told Esmerelda who smiled.
"Thanks miss" Esmerelda said before waiting for her to leave to open the chocolates and eat two. She felt her nerves die down as she did that.
Esmerelda was nervous, more than she let on. She didn't know when, or if, any pupils were even going to come and see her. As she waited she did some work that she had to do, not expecting much on her first day. Around after an hour after she started someone knocked on the door.
"Come in" Esmerelda said nervously wondering if it was a pupil or a teacher coming to check on her. The door opened but no-one walked in. Esmie narrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Hello?" Esmie said confused and rolling her eyes about to get up to close the door thinking someone was messing around when a young girl popped her head around the door fearfully. She had curly brown hair tied back in a ponytail. Esmerelda had seen the girl before and she was sure she was a fourth year but she wasn't sure. She had never actually spoke to her just seen her around the school.
"Hi there, come in" Esmie said. The girl stared at her as if trying to decide whether to bolt or not but decided to go in and she sat on the comfy chair opposite Esmie.
"Hi, what is your name?" Esmerelda asked sweetly as she looked at the girl. She didn't respond though but Esmie knew even when someone came to help, it didn't mean they were going to open up easily but Esmie was concerned as the girl looked sickly and pale.
"Do you need to talk? Talking helps everyone, if we talk I can help you" Esmerelda told her knowing something was plaguing the girl.
"Will you tell?" the girl asked looking at Esmie with a scared look but Esmie knew she had to tell her the facts.
"I have to tell someone if you tell me something that is causing you harm or affecting your well-being" Esmerelda explained knowing most of the time things were confidential but sometimes she did have to tell if she was worried about someone's well-being. It was only fair to make the girl aware of that.
"I….I'm in trouble" the young girl said looking on the verge of tears. Her brown eyes glistened with tears.
"What kind of trouble?" Esmerelda asked worried about the girl.
"I….I…." the girl said playing with her hands.
"Take your time it is okay" Esmerelda told her knowing she couldn't push to much or she will close down completely.
"I …..I'm pregnant" the girl said before bursting into tears no longer able to hold it in.
Esmerelda had flashbacks in that moment to her as a fourteen year old and finding out she was pregnant. It was terrifying at the time. When you realise you can no longer be a child anymore and you realise that the is a little life growing in you. It is lonely and you don't know how you will ever tell anyone. Esmerelda did not speak to anyone for a long time. She couldn't tell her parents and she told Sauron after a few days, but that was the hardest part. Figuring out what you are meant to do is the terrifying part. Esmie though of course could relate to the young girl.
The girl cried and Esmerelda touched her back gently, trying to offer here some comfort even though she knew it was a scary experience for the girl.
"It is alright, when did you find out?" Esmerelda asked hoping she had not being keeping this secret for too long.
"Yesterday, I didn't know what to do, but you had your daughter young so I thought I could tell you" the girl said lifting her head as tears fell out of her eyes. Esmie smiled sympathetically and gave her a tissue.
"That is wise of you, I remember how scary it is to find that out, how are you feeling right now?" Esmerelda asked wanting to get more to the bottom of how the girl felt about this because it did not mean she felt the same way Esmerelda had done.
"I don't know I am numb….I don't know if I want it or not, and I don't know how to tell anyone" the girl said. Esmerelda had known she wanted Ethel from the first second but it didn't mean other girls knew that. She nodded and touched the girl's arm.
"Try not to think to deeply into that right now, it needs a chance to kick in" Esmerelda told the girl sadly.
"I don't want to tell my boyfriend" the girl said as she cried more wiping her eyes.
"I am sorry I have to ask whether or not it was consensual" Esmerelda asked knowing if the girl had been raped it would be a different situation. The girl nodded.
"I love him, I wanted too, I am just scared he won't want to know" the girl said clearly all her worries coming to her mind. "He goes to Camelot, we are both in forth year" the girl said confirming to Esmie she was indeed a forth year.
"That is a possibility, but I still recommend you tell him, if he wants to know then you need all the support you can get" Esmerelda told the girl who sobbed gently.
"I think it will be best if you told Miss Cackle too" Esmerelda explained to the young girl knowing from experience keeping it a secret was not the way to go.
"No...you can't" the young girl said crying
"Look I kept mine a secret, I ended up giving birth with only my boyfriend there, and keeping it a secret got me nowhere, my baby was taken of me anyway, I know it is hard, but you still have time to decide what is best and for people to get used to it" Esmerelda told her and the girl nodded and sighed knowing she was right.
"I am scared people will be angry" the young girl said looking at the floor.
"They might be, but they still should be told" Esmerelda told her "What is your name?" Esmerelda asked again now the girl was calmer.
"Annie.." the girl replied with a sigh.
"Annie, I promise you everything will be okay, whether you decide to keep it or not is up to you but it will be just fine" Esmerelda explained knowing how scared the girl was.
"Do you ever regret it? Keeping your daughter I mean I know you love her but you were so young do you ever wished you had waited?" Annie asked looking at Esmerelda seriously.
"Not even for a second, I don't regret having Ethel, my life went differently than I expected but without Ethel I wouldn't have a sister, I wouldn't have such joy in my life so no I don't regret it, I am glad it happened" Esmerelda told Annie honestly.
"Come on, let's go see Miss Cackle, once it is off your chest you will feel better" Esmerelda told the young girl as she stood up. Annie stood up too.
"Thank you, for helping me, I didn't know where else to go" Annie admitted to Esmerelda and the blonde smiled.
"That is what I am here for" Esmerelda explained as they started to walk to the door. Esmeralda looked at the girl beside her and smiled. Whether she chose to keep the baby or not was one thing but one thing was for sure, Annie was not going to suffer in silence how she had all those years ago. Things were going to be different for her.
As Esmerelda led the girl to the headteacher's office she knew she had picked the right profession, helping someone through such a scary time was something Esmerelda could do and she had told the truth. She didn't regret her life and she was glad she was able to help the young Annie through a time that would turn her life around.