School reunions suck and I prefer drinking alone. Take this monstrosity and listen to bad guy by Billie Eilish

i'm the baaaaad guy

"So, Drew, you're a villain now? I saw you on the news just the other night being dragged into the back of a cop car. How'd you get out of jail in time to come to the reunion?"

He stared at the woman, who was his crush in college, smiling at him as her two friends laughed and whispered. He hated that more than anything on this Earth. They were talking about him right in his face as one pretended to be interested. He snagged one of the champagne glasses off a waiter's serving tray and downed it before snarling a bit, "I broke out… Stacy."

The girls laughed as one whispered to the main and he almost shattered the glass in his hand. Why was he talking to these… what did Shego call them… oh! Bimbos. Stacy licked her lips and asked him, "So… are you like… blue all over?" The two giggled as Stacy's eyes wandered down his body. He snatched another drink from another waiter and downed it, "Yes."

She was persistent, "Do you have any kind of powers?" He was about to answer, but she slipped in, "Like… are you Super Viagra Man or something?" The three burst into pure laughter and he was extremely embarrassed. He couldn't stand being laughed at so directly. Other people heard the joke around them and also laughed. He just stood there, frozen and angry at himself for not speaking up. The laughter was surrounding him… choking him… swirling like a python around its prey… he screamed inside and knew tears of frustration were about to build…

"His name is Dr. Drakken… it refers to the size of his penis being like a dragon's tail… so no… that's not why he's blue. Actually… he only turns blue when he talks to mouthy bitches who have chlamydia from eating each other out." Shego, in the tightest green dress and black stilettos, walked up beside him and snaked her arm around his neck as she smiled, "So… Stacy and the Claps… why don't you go to the free clinic and get that cream for your itchy vags and tongues."

The people around them laughed and chorused out "Ooooo's" as the three women cussed and threw up their middle fingers. He snapped his focus on her. She was still smiling and wiggling her fingers at the three women as he stared in doubt, "Shego… what are you doing here? You said you had a thing."

Her tongue pressed the inside of her cheek as she pulled away from him, "Yeah… well… my thing didn't pan out. Good thing I did come… Super Viagra Man."

He sighed out as Shego snatched two glasses from a waiter as he said, "Can't believe I had a crush on her."

"You mean you had the hots for the "I Wanna Speak to Your Manager" bitch? God, Drakken… you're pathetic." She downed both glasses and slipped the empty glasses onto passing waiter trays.

He frowned, "My taste in women hasn't changed THAT much."

Shego raised a brow, "How so?"

A slow song came on as if on cue and he took a hold of her hip and hand as he smiled, "I still have a thing for evil, conniving women."

Shego actually smiled as she put her arm around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the song.