Rayna took a few deep breaths as she tucked the chain with Deacon's wedding ring inside her shirt. She picked up the picture of a happy family, all smiling in Deacon's arms, in front of the Christmas tree.
Deacon had shattered the glass in the frame when he slammed it back down on the counter top. "Seems fitting," she thought of the shattered family, behind the shattered glass, as she picked the broken glass out of the frame, and shed a few tears.
She placed the picture back on the mantle where Deacon had taken it from, and collapsed on the couch in tears as she glanced around the room. They had pictures everywhere, memories everywhere, music everywhere, Deacon everywhere she looked in the house.
She sat alone sobbing for over an hour, clutching a throw pillow that was heavy with Deacon's cologne. "He must have napped on it recently," she thought as she held it closer taking in his scent.
She finally went back into the kitchen to clean up fragments of the Jack Daniels bottle Deacon threw against the kitchen wall. "GOD, what if something happens to him?" she sobbed thinking of how much he'd drank, and was now driving somewhere.
"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he has an accident over this," she sobbed. "I lost my mother so young," she remembered how it felt losing a parent. "What if I've done that to Maddie," she worried about Deacon having an accident.
"He was so drunk, and so heartbroken, " she feared he might even do it on purpose. She had to find him, make sure he was OK.
She called Tandy.
"Hey, how are the girls?" she asked trying to sound normal.
"Fine, they're watching a movie." Tandy replied sensing pain in Rayna's voice
"What the hell is going on, Rayna?"
******silence******* as Rayna tried to gain her composure and not lose it
"I….I…..think I've lost Deacon." She sobbed giving up trying to be strong, and letting the tears slow again.
"What? Why, what happened? Did he find out about the kiss in California last year?"
"It's sooo much worse than that, Tandy." She sobbed into the phone
"A few months ago when Deacon and I were having problems. I thought our marriage was over. I was sooo sure he was gonna leave me then. I went on that PR trip with Luke and we…." She couldn't say it. She still couldn't believe she'd done it.
"You what, Rayna?"
"I had tried to make up with Deacon the night before I left. I lit some candles, got out some wine and cheese. He completely rejected me for the first time ever." She sobbed harder
"I never felt so alone, and unwanted. I made plans to go on the PR trip with Luke. I couldn't stay in the house with Deacon. I had to get away. He'd been a jerk for a month. I just couldn't take any…." She broke down crying.
"I thought we were done. I made the decision to file for a divorce on that trip, but then Scarlett ended up in the hospital, and Deacon changed his mind. He wanted to make up."
"…but I had already…I can't believe I did it, Tandy." She cried into the phone.
"You, what, Rayna? Please tell me you didn't sleep with Luke?"
"…..I thought Deacon and I were done, or I never would have…yeah, I slept with Luke." She admitted.
"Rayna, that PR trip was right before Christmas. Almost 3 months ago. How did Deacon just find out?" Tandy asked
"He came to the studio to see me today. I didn't know he was in the booth. Luke and I were fighting about it. Luke hates me too. Deacon heard everything."
"…..now he's gone. I'm so afraid something terrible is going to happen to him. He drank a whole bottle of Jack. He's so hurt and upset. I tried to stop him, but he left."
"He's driving after a whole bottle of Jack?" Tandy was worried now too
"Can you keep the girls tonight? I need to find him, make sure he's OK?" she bawled to her sister
"Sure, honey, but you're in no condition to drive either. You're too upset."
"I can't wait Tandy. I need to make sure he's OK. This is my fault, and if anything happens to him, How will I ever face Maddie again? Or Scarlett? Deacon's all Scarlett has left, and they're both crazy about Deacon."
"OK, I understand, but you CALL ME when you find him. I need to know you're OK, too." Tandy said extremely worried as they hung up. She knew Deacon had a temper and it got 10X worse if he was drunk. She worried about Rayna provoking him.
Rayna drove the hour to the cabin crying most of the way. She had to make this right. Maybe not tonight. Tonight all she wanted to do was know he was safe.
She got to the security gate and decided to just park and walk the last stretch of road. It was only about and eighth of a mile from the gate to the cabin. She didn't want Deacon to see the headlights and know she was there.
They had security gates installed after Maddie was born. The cabin was very secluded, but press could be relentless and follow Rayna at times. They'd never had a problem at the cabin, but Deacon wasn't taking any chances with his girls. She smiled remembering how protective he was with her and Maddie.
She walked the dirt road deep in thought. As she neared she could see the cabin lights through the trees. A deep weight lifted when she saw Deacon's truck safely parked near Vince's car in the driveway. He'd made it.
"Should I go to the door?" she wondered and decided against it. Her touch seemed to upset him earlier, but she wanted to see him, not just his truck. She needed to know he was OK.
She crept around to the porch area, but didn't dare step onto it. The boards creaked, and you could hear footsteps easily inside when someone approached.
She heard voices. Vince and Deacon were around the fire pit near the river. She jumped back quickly when she realized she was in the light from the porch.
She stood in the shadows just watching Deacon. He was noticeably drunk, and had a new bottle of Jack in his right hand, but from where she was it still looked full. He was only sipping from it.
She felt like a peeping Tom watching them this way, but she wasn't sure how to leave without them seeing her. She was wearing a white jacket, and wasn't sure how they'd missed her when she approached, other than both were drunk so observation wasn't at it's best.
There was about 200 feet between the clearing and the covered wooded area of the access road. In white and moving she was afraid they'd see her if they glanced her direction. "Maybe I can go into the woods behind the cabin and back to the road she thought?"
"There's a picture the tabloids would love. Rayna Jaymes traipsing through the woods spying on her estranged husband." She laughed at the thought. "Oh if anyone knew she was doing this."
She really didn't want to go into the woods. It was dark and she hated critters of any kind especially at night when she couldn't see them.
"Crap. How did I get myself into this?" she cursed her stupid idea to see Deacon
Still feeling like a peeping Tom violating Deacon's privacy she continued to watch, and listen.
"So what are you gonna do, man?" Vince asked
"I dunno." Deacon answered with a sadness in his voice that broke Rayna's heart
"You guys have together a long time, through a lot of shit."
"8 years. 5 ½ married." Deacon answered sounding so confused about what to do.
"What about the kids? You gonna see them?"
"Well, of course Vince. I love the girls no matter what happens with Rayna. It's gonna hurt like hell becoming THAT kinda dad. Every other weekend. Splitting holidays and vacations. Being at Rayna's mercy when, if and how I get to see them." He was starting to sound angry
"You could fight for custody." Vince suggested
"I could. I have raised Maddie almost entirely alone since she was 2, and Scarlett is my niece." He seemed to kind like the idea of custody. Rayna's heart sank.
"Would Deacon really try to take Maddie away from her?" she wondered
She hadn't thought about this aspect of things even when she considered seeing a lawyer to divorce Deacon.
"Are you really ready to raise 2 little girls alone?" Vince asked sarcastically
"I've been raising one. Rayna's been off touring for most of the last 2 years. She was only home a couple times a month for maybe a few days. Some weeks here and there, holidays."
"God only knows what the hell she was doing out on the road. Even with all our problems I never thought Rayna was capable of cheating on me." He said his voice cracking
"Women are evil!" Vince sniped clearly still bitter about his own situation with Kelly
"I'm actually glad the kids not mine." Vince admitted
"Yeah, well I don't have that luxury. Maddie is 100% a Claybourne. She has my temper, my looks." Deacon said sadly missing his little girl
"I should be home putting her and Scarlett to bed now. It's my night."
Deacon suddenly got up to get sick and stumbled towards the water.
"Hey, you alright man?
"Yeah, just don't have the tolerance for this shit like I used to. Makes me puke every time." He said leaning down, hands on his knees
"I'm gonna go to bed. I can't drink without puking. I need to just be unconscious for a while. You got any oxy or anything to knock me out for a while, Vince?"
"Yeah, on my night stand. You'll find a selection I think you'll like." Vince smirked
"Thanks, man….and thanks for listening to me tonight. Sorry I was so emotional when I got here."
"No problem, Deke. You've been there for me since we were like 5. Glad to help. Hate seeing you that way." Vince said with a hand on Deacon's shoulder
"Thanks." Deacon replied his voice cracking a little as he stumbled up the incline towards the porch
Rayna could see tears on his cheeks as he stepped into the light from the porch. She was happy he was safe and seemed a lot more sober than he had earlier with her, but concerned he wanted drugs from Vince. He hadn't touched anything illegal drug wise in years.
She was also worried that if he divorced her he might try to take the girls.
She waited several more minutes. Vince also went inside. She made a quick dash for the wood covered area of the access road.
"Maybe Deacon was really going to divorce her?" she thought as she cried on the way home. He was thinking about custody of the girls.
She wondered if maybe she should see an attorney just to check her rights and get an opinion on the matter. Deacon has been the main parent for over 2 years. That might not look so good in court for her.
The next morning Rayna made an appointment to see Ray Westcock. He's a prominent, Nashville divorce attorney that has handled many big celebrity divorce cases.
"Mrs. Claybourne, I'm a huge fan. Nice to meet you." Westcock said as he greeted Rayna with a handshake
"OK, so you're divorcing your husband of 5 years Deacon Claybourne?" he asked as they sat down in his office
"Well, No….I'm not sure it's going to come to that. He left me just last night. I….just really kinda wanna know where I stand if he files for divorce. We have kids." She said still not believing she was sitting across from a divorce lawyer.
"Let me be clear here, Rayna? May I call you Rayna?" he asked as she nodded yes
"It will be best to be proactive here. In your profession with all the publicity this will generate, I would strongly suggest you get a handle on it now, before the press gets a hold of it, and believe me…they will."
"…but also before your husband makes the first move."
"I cheated on him." Rayna said losing her composure and tearing up
"It doesn't really matter who did what, who said what. You're at this point. The best you can do now is try to mitigate the damage especially to your career, and your kids."
"I don't want a divorce Mr. Westcock." She said voice cracking
"I just wanna know if Deacon can take my kids away?"
"I did my research before you got here. I know he's been the primary care giver for your child. You've been touring pretty heavily for a few years, correct?"
"Yes."
"I'm not gonna lie. That alone gives him an upper hand, but I'm also aware he has a drinking problem that's been well documented?"
"He did. He's mostly a social drinker now, but he does occasionally drink to excess still."
"There's a documented history. That's all I need. Mrs. Claybourne."
"I don't know. I don't wanna use his past against him. Deacon is an amazing father. Our daughter and our niece are crazy about him."
"Your niece?" asked Westcock
"We have custody of our niece Scarlett. She's Deacon's sister's child. We've had her 4 months."
"You have legal custody?"
"Yes, Beverly her mother has some mental issues. She's been out of the hospital a few months now, but hasn't bothered to see, or even call Scarlett."
"So, you'd want custody of Scarlett along with your daughter?" he asked
"Yes, I love her like a daughter. She calls Deacon and I mom and dad now."
"OK, that's a little trickier since she's on his side of the family by blood, but since you have legal custody and the mother is MIA I don't see a problem, unless his sister were to come forward and request she stay with him."
"So, you think Deacon has a better chance at custody, unless I make an issue out of his alcohol problems?" she asked
"If he seriously pursues custody. Yes, because he's been the main caregiver while you were away, I think he has one hell of a chance at winning a custody dispute. If you can show that he's unfit it gives you an edge."
"I don't want to say he'd unfit. He's an amazing father."
"Amazing enough that you're willing to lose your daughter to him?" he asked pointedly
"I don't think he'd keep her from me."
"Mrs. Claybourne. These things get ugly very quickly, and what you "think" he'd never do, I assure you when you push him into a corner he will do just that. You said you cheated on him. I'm sure he's very hurt and unfortunately that hurt is going to drive his actions more than anything."
"You need to get something legal in place even if it's temporary. Right now he can take the kids and there is nothing you can do about it. If you act first, claim he left the kids with you, it looks better for you."
"I don't know. I need to think about this. Thank you for your time and the information." Rayna said as she stood to go.
"Mrs. Claybourne, don't wait too long. Time is of the essence here. If he makes the first move towards custody he'll already have the upperhand. As I said whatever we get into place could be temporary, but you need something legal on paper, and soon."
"OK, thanks." She left feeling discouraged, but worried about what Deacon might do, and to make matters worse there was a TMZ photographer outside the lawyer's office.
"Mrs. Jaymes, why are you seeing a divorce attorney? If your marriage to Deacon Claybourne over?"
"No comment." She said as she rushed to her SUV
"Does this have anything to do with your upcoming album with Luke Wheeler? You've been spotted with Luke outside your working relationship. Is he why your marriage is over?"
********silence*******Rayan said nothing as she climbed in her Escalade and quickly drove away