POST-SCRASH SESSION 3: SPECTATORS OF THE HOST
Chapter 22: Roxa Lavigne, Subordinate of No One
Hi my name is Roxa Lavigne and I am sick of my three friends being miserable and not realizing being drunk is the way of living. As such on 9 PM that day I didn't stay at Violet's house because I didn't want to hear a word from anyone in that hellhole, and as such when Violet shut the lights off I didn't freeze in half-sleep. As such, at night, I walked from Tbilisi, Georgia all the long way to Portal High School. The night was even prettier than the day and my walk was much less miserable than interactions with the same people.
At the city of Portal High School, I met a silhouette. She looked kind of like me but she wasn't me because she listens to and writes goth emo music (presumably for Skepness Man to listen to). She was caught in a trance and as such I introduced myself first. "Hello, strange goth emo girl. I'm Roxa Lavigne" but what I didn't know was that I had crossed into... MY MOTHER AVRIL LAVIGNE!
"No no no stop getting it wrong I'm Avril Lavigne and I'm the first goth emo ever" Avril said so I found a streetlamp and we could clearly see each other's faces. "...You're a fan of mine!" Avril said without waiting for my response and I responded "I'm a daughter of yours." and Avril o-mouthed.
"But I haven't- I mean who's your father?" Avril wondered and I replied "Gerard Way, of course. Later you would divorce, but that doesn't matter." Avril simply stared at me in shock and goth emo music enveloped both of us in a wonderful familial reunion... except Avril didn't know of me yet.
"Wait a minute I don't know of you yet" thus she said and I repeated "Well, I'm Roxa Lavigne-" "Oh, that's right. Some dumb girl called me Roxa Lavigne and I was like this is a good name for a daughter of mine. And it really is." I felt a bit insulted since after all Janet Roberts isn't that dumb and it's Jack London who's the last moron here but then Avril said "And the daughter herself is wonderful." and thus the feel of the reunion was reinstated and we stared at each other until the street lights shut off and we were suddenly blind.
I am very afraid of the lack of light so I screamed and ran and Avril was like "meh whatever I'm a goth emo I don't care" so she didn't even realize I crashed into a man... Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale! "Now now young protege you don't want to be hurt" he boringed but since his voice has a sleeping effect we both fell asleep on the same place... in the street.
Cecil woke up in 5:55 AM in Portal High School. We woke up because he had his alarm clock in his smartphone like all coolkids do and after a bit of preparing he began his morning routine of announcing stuff and sometimes hygiene.
"Wassup, Night Valians! You'd better wake up because today might be the last day ever!" He thus shouted and I also woke up. "Let's begin with some news. Yesterday, I took a stroll around the city of Portal High School - I apologize for the unofficial name but hopefully someone can correct me - and it was... sort of awesome, sort of boring. It's hard to say which emotion was more predominant. Also, a group of teenagers had briefly established a town in the dog park called Welcome to Night Vale II. Luckily, it was shut down. THE DOG PARK IS OFF LIMITS.
Well, with the new's done, here's a non-weather forecast for the week. Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Friday. All the days of this week are Friday. It's truly Fritastic." Cecil continued boringing everyone in Portal High School and in his desert town so Principal Business Man woke up early and unlocked Portal High School, kicking us out. Cecil rendez-voused with Carlos and they both went back to their town and I just sort of waited in the cold spring for god knows what.
I decided to take the same road to Tbilisi, Georgia that I usually take but about 10% of the way through I met someone... Janet and co.! We both went back to Portal High School and now we could wait for god knows what... together! Yay!
Ugh.
Meanwhile Klaus and Sunny M. Beauregardes had changed their strategy. Now they were down on their knees asking Violet to stop doing stuff so the three decided to walk around. Violet was sure the two would eventually fall asleep and/or forget their mission to retrieve some imprisoned girl but Klaus and Sunny were smarter and got through the staff entrance at which point Violet was disappointed and just zapped them to Welcome to Night Vale aiming for the dog park (AKA the people trashbin) but narrowly missed.
Thus, Klaus and Sunny looked around their new environment. Sunny asked a Night Valian "Where is this and how can I get back to Tbilisi, Georgia?" and the Night Valian stood in awe saying "You won Violet's opportunity!" and Sunny had to respond "No I didn't" "Then why do you want to get to that place?" Klaus decided to take Sunny away before she could answer and together both of them began hatching their own plan of getting back to Violet.
TO BE CONTINUED
AN I'M KIND OF THINKING OF MY STORY LIKE HOMESTUCK. THERE ARE MANY LOOSE PLOT ENDS AND YET THE ENDING IS IN SIGHT. UNLESS IT'S ALREADY FINISHED, IN WHICH CASE KEEP READING!