Disclaimer: Honestly, I'm getting tired of repeating 'I only own stuff and OCs I create' in every chapter. (Insert accompanying witty remark here)

Hopelessly Blue: Aww, you're so sweet, HB! I'm glad I get special treatment from you, it makes me all warm and fuzzy- and that rarely happens! ^.^ *clears throat to calm self down* In any case, I'm relieved-and happy- that you liked the chapter, as melodramatic as it was. The pom poms were also a nice touch, BTW. ;) Putting that aside, I feel safer already, what with you watching out for me- thanks! ^.-

Kachie Takahashi: Shepard says it (her name) to herself right before she starts for Raegas, JSYK. Anyway, I'm happy to hear you liked the chapter; I think I may have been in the same spot as well if I were in any of their positions. XL

BAMS: Thanks BAMS, it's good to hear you liked it. Of course, the song you said could fit this- I hadn't thought of it sticking to a song 'til you brought it up. I've heard it before as well and I have it so I'll give it another listen while I'm writing a 'thick' part, okay? ;)

Liege Lord: Yeah, that Thanix canon comment just kind of jumped out of my strange consciousness and into the chapter… Still, Raegas hasn't forgotten about the scene where the Normandy used it in the second game so maybe she just equated the power of the blast to the severity of her headache. Well, you never know, so I guess we'll just have to accept my little excuse, huh? ;) Thanks as well, Lordy!

A/N: Now let's get back to the drama, everyone!

Shepard just- she told me she-… she likes me in the one way she's not supposed to! Goddammit! What the hell was I supposed to do now? She just had to fucking add to my already traumatized self's problems, didn't she?

I couldn't hold it in anymore and allowed myself to just yell in frustration, slamming to the ground. Shepard hadn't even noticed she practically shoved me when she let go too, so she ended up pushing me to the fucking ground. How caring.

Ciria then nuzzled my neck, whining. I forced a heavy sigh to try and calm down before laying a hand atop her head. This entire situation screwed me up; first, I was practically resurrected and woke up on Shepard's ship so many years after I had been forced into that prison, then I was shoved into fighting with said Commander against Saren as I swore never to become friends with Shepard, next my memories got all fucked up and replaced with my 'original' ones and I find out what happened to my family and shit. Three months later, I relived my worst nightmares, almost wet insane and was told by the one person I couldn't grow attached to that they liked me.

And I say again: Fuck.

"Just… kill me and throw me the hell away before I go insane from all of this. I just watched my mother die- again- and before I even have a chance to recover at all, Shepard comes and tells me the worst possible thing she could." I muttered, earning another whine from Ciria.

…

Two hours later, I was still lying on the ground, trying to ignore the pain resonating throughout my entire being. Both emotionally and physically. I took a painfully deep breath and forced myself to sit up, jolting Ciria from her spot on my stomach. I couldn't just sit here and rot, as much as I wanted to, and it wasn't going to be long before someone came to see me. I didn't want to be talked to, I didn't want to talk and I did not want to see anyone- especially Shepard. I couldn't.

Ciria followed me out of the room and into the elevator, which, luckily, was empty. I pressed the button for deck one and waited as the doors closed. After everything that had happened and after all that I'd done, how could Shepard like me at all, let alone care for me so much? I had never really warmed up much and I'd rarely even opened up to her about personal things. I didn't understand what it was to be cared for let alone to feel such things… I couldn't even be sure what true happiness felt like anymore…

Did I? Not that I could remember, seeing as how a lot of my memories were still vague and messed up from all of the confusion going on lately. The flashbacks had shown me and reminded me of a lot of what I'd forgotten, but through that, the memories had brought back a lot of old feelings I couldn't be sure I actually wanted.

I passed the CIC and headed toward the airlock. Unfortunately, I caught Joker's attention before I could get out. He shifted in his chair and called out to me, obviously surprised I was even up there.

"Hey, well if it isn't the zombie! What 'r you up here for, to creep on me or something?" he asked, smiling. I felt myself frown slightly as my nose scrunched in distaste: I wasn't in the mood for useless banter.

Wordlessly, I stepped into the airlock and closed the door behind me. Once the decontamination cycle was over, I walked out of the ship and looked around to see we were at the Citadel of all places. With a contained expression of anger, I walked into the elevator with Ciria still at my side.

…

Another few hours passed before I realized I had absolutely nothing to do. It was always Shepard dragging me to various shops and such for upgrades or to eat weird food, or Tali wanting to take me to help her pick out upgrades and trinkets for her suit, or Liara making me pick out more clothes to wear when I was in a 'casual mood'. With no one here, I had no direction and no reason to go anywhere, including the Normandy itself.

I still felt horrible and I wanted to just forget everything that had happened to me all over again. It was hard enough just to hold in all of my emotions to keep them from showing; a few people had come up to talk to me over the course of a few hours, but I'd evidently scared them all off with my 'scary look'. If anyone was to blame, it was stuck between me and Shepard: she had never given up on trying to get past my barriers and I had never run her off. Now look at where I was.

"Oh hey, Raegas!" I looked up and saw some lady jogging up to me with a big smile on her face. It was Jane, the girl I met back before I went to Noveria. I kept myself from glaring at her simply out of my foul mood and put my hand up in greeting. She stopped in front of me and smiled even wider.

"It's been so long since we've seen each other! How are you?" she inquired, rubbing my nerves. I took a breath and shrugged, forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace than anything.

"Fine." I muttered. She had sent me a message a few days after I'd met her and I had answered back, fully intent on telling her I didn't want to talk to her, but somehow, I had ended up becoming some friend of hers. I didn't consider us any more than acquaintances, but she didn't see it that way apparently. How bothersome.

"Oh, I see. Love trouble?" she asked with a knowing smirk, shocking me. I furrowed my brows as she sat down beside of me on the bench.

"No." I denied, only having her smile widen.

"Honey, it's written all over your face- trust me, I know." She stated, putting what was meant to be a comforting hand on my thigh. It only aggravated me further.

"…" I said nothing and crossed my arms, irritated, hoping she would just leave me alone. She didn't.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and it's probably none of my business, but I can tell you need someone to share with… Oh, I've got just the thing!" she said suddenly, pulling out her Omni-tool. She messaged someone quickly before turning to me with something of a Cheshire grin.
"I know someone on the Normandy you should talk to, she's great with things like this. I'm sure you know her as well so you won't have to feel uncomfortable." She said, making a muscle in my eye twitch. A Normandy crewmember was the last kind of person I wanted to talk to.

I was about to get up to leave, too, until something sharp impacted my neck. When I stood and turned to see what it was, another spike stabbed into my neck. Then another. Before I could process what had just happened, blackness overtook my vision and I fell into a world of darkness.

…

"Hey Commander, you ought to find Raegas and yell at her again for me, 'kay?" Joker called, catching Shepard's attention. She held in a sigh and rubbed the back of her neck as she walked into the cockpit.

"Why would I do that, Joker?" she asked, feeling all too exhausted.

"She just ignored me when I tried to cheer her up when she came up a few hours ago!" the pilot answered, sounding as if he felt wronged or neglected. The commander pursed her lips for a few moments before answering.

"Your 'cheer up' pep talks consist of you teasing them until they get angry at you instead of their own problems, Joker." She retorted, furrowing her brows.

"Man, I get no appreciation around here!" he cried, throwing his hands into the air. Shepard then blinked a few times as realization dawned on her.

"Joker. Were you spying on us?" the Commander asked, her voice low and deadly. Joker noticeably stiffened in his chair, his eyes widening.

"Uumm… no…?" he said slowly, knowing Shepard already knew. He had had a feeling he shouldn't have given in to his curiosity when he heard about Raegas' epic freak out in the CC.

"I know I shouldn't ask this…" Shepard sighed, catching Joker's attention. He had been sure the Commander would break him or something- he knew she hated to be watched.

"Huh?" he asked, suddenly confused. And why was Shepard all depressed-looking? Joker wondered to himself several similar things before Shepard finally continued what she'd been about to say.

"What… happened, say, after I left…?" Shepard asked slowly, already looking as if she regretted it. The pilot raised a brow but gestured her over to his console as he activated the footage he'd… acquired. Shepard knocked him over the head when she saw he'd recorded it but still told him to play it.

"Not only did I go against the cardinal rule of not being friends with Shepard, but I end up getting told she likes me!" Raegas yelled, fisting her hands so hard that her knuckles turned white. She jumped up from the ground, apparently having been pushed down.
"And I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but… she's my friend… DAMMIT!" she yelled once more, not even noticing as electricity speared from her hands and impacted the wall to create a new scorch mark. "Just perfect that she dumps this on me while I'm fucked up over seeing my mother die! Again!" Raegas paced around the room like a caged lion with a death glare in her eyes. Ciria's whine went unnoticed as said Vertoakan proceeded to bare her teeth; electricity was visibly arching around her fists now, the color of blood.
"Of course she likes me in the one way she's not supposed to! What the hell should I do now?" Raegas' tone was bitter enough to shame a powerful espresso, causing her own anger to flare once more. In response to her growing ire, Raegas' eyes turned a deep, dark garnet color as strange runes seemed to spill from her eyes and drop down to her jaw in the form of glowing tattoos. She didn't even seem to notice as she continued to pace.
"Not to mention the fact of what happens after…" she trailed off and suddenly came to a stop as her eyes narrowed. "What would happen if I were taken out of the picture? Better, worse, no change… Ciria!" Raegas called, looking over to the Ulaeviel as it approached her. Raegas sat back down and seemed to calm slightly as Ciria nuzzled her companion's neck.
"Everything would just get too complicated if I left. Not that I have anywhere to go… not that I want to have anywhere else to go…" she muttered.

She seemed to think deeply for what seemed like forever before letting her back slam to the ground as she released a yell of frustration. Her face contorted, showing tangled emotions even as the flow of electricity in and around her hands ceased, the runes receding until they were no longer there. Ciria nuzzled Raegas' neck and whined once more, gaining the Vertoakan's attention once more. She rested a hand atop the Ulaeviel's head then and heaved a great sigh, closing her eyes almost as if in pain.

"Fuck…" Shepard muttered before rubbing her face in exhaustion. She had been worried Raegas may hate her now, but if she had such a reaction as that, then their friendship was all but broken. Shepard wanted to beat herself over the simple fact that she yelled at Raegas when she was in such a vulnerable state, but to say what she did and drive the one she cared for so much to almost go into a full-on Bloodrage was unforgivable.

"There, I erased it." Joker said, showing the 'deleted' message on his console. Shepard had no energy left to even just punch her grating pilot anymore…

Choosing to rid herself of at least one thing on her to-do list, Shepard headed for the airlock. Joker asked where she was going and the Commander stopped before checking over her Omni-tool's messages. She found one and read it quickly before looking back to the cockpit.

"Out. I'll be back when I can." Shepard answered, before heading out of the ship.

She could only wonder where Raegas was and how she was doing at the moment. Probably no better than she was, if not worse. Not to mention she had to meet an old friend over some problem she mentioned. If only Shepard could ask someone to take care of her problems as well... She had no idea how she was going to amend her and Raegas' friendship. And even if she did, there was little chance she was going to be able to anyway.

"Rae…" Shepard whispered, hoping to whatever powers that be that she'd somehow pull off a miracle and fix everything.

…

"Gone?" Shepard asked, looking to Jane Pewter, her old friend. She and Jane had spent a few months together when Shepard's mom took her in. Jane had been a good friend and had stood by her even when Shepard announced her joining the Alliance. It had been a while since they'd seen each other too, what with the both of them having conflicting schedules. Still, they messaged each other every now and then.

"Yeah… I had told Raegas-"

"And it's Raegas?" Shepard almost yelled, shocked that Jane and Raegas even knew each other. Jane gave her a quieting look before looking around worriedly.

"Look, I don't know why you're so messed up and depressed right now but I met Raegas months ago. I saw her again today and she looked so depressed- even more than you- that I sent you a message to come and meet her to give her advice or something since the both of you are on the Normandy." Jane explained, looking her friend up and down. Shepard heaved a sigh and pushed a hand through her hair.

"Jane…" she started, only to be cut off by her companion's gasp.

"Wait just one second! It's you! You're the- Oohh…" Jane said, confusing Shepard. "Girl, you have got to be kidding me; you and she are together? Just what happened on that ship, Miss Commander?"

"What? No! We're not- she isn't- Jane!" Shepard was blushing so much even her depressed aura was drowned out by it for a few seconds. Jane looked her up and down, putting a hand to her hip as she nodded her head.

"Yeah, well, you may not be together but it's obvious you like her. Anyway, I'm getting off the topic! I just said your girlfriend is gone and you're not doing anything!" Jane smacked Shepard's shoulder, seemingly snapping her out of the blush.

"Where did she go?" Shepard asked, hoping Raegas was okay. Jane looked around once more and looked almost guilty for a few moments before turning back to Shepard.

"Aerin, she was taken."

A/N: Ooh, I wonder, what's happened to our troubled Vertoakan? And what's this about Shepard having a friend? What a twist, my friends, what a twist indeed!

Review or PM me, whichever one. G1 out!