JR leaned back against the pillow and giggled breathlessly. "Wow, Sue Ellen! If that was your apology I'm definitely going to have to earn some more!" He told her. Sue Ellen giggled in reply, holding her hand in the air to inspect the way the diamonds caught the light from the bedside lamp. Becoming serious she turned to face him. "I am really sorry, JR. I shouldn't have let that woman make me doubt you. She's always been jealous of us."

He kissed her, playfully lifting the sheet that covered her for another peek at her body. "Forget it, sugar. Now, answer the question! You had me upstairs before I could get a response!" "Yes of course I'll marry you, JR! There's nothing in the world I'd like more but before we take that step…." "I need to build your trust" he pre-empted her.

She nodded sadly. "How do you do that?" she asked. "If I could I'd erase the past, but even I can't do that. I guess I just have to show you, in all the different ways, that I've changed, that I'm not going to let you down, ever." "And in turn I have to have more confidence in you, JR. It wouldn't be fair if you couldn't go about your day to day life without prompting questions and suspicion."

"You're right, honey, because a lot has happened in the oil industry in your absence. There are many more young ladies making careers for themselves in the business- engineers, financial analysts, bankers and such like. I have to deal these days with many more women than ever before." "How do you feel about that?" she asked, intrigued by what he was telling her. "I mean, you and your daddy always used to comment that the boardroom was no place for a woman!"

"I know but times have changed and I've just had to get used to it. Still much easier dealing with a man, though. Fewer social niceties to go through. Give them the three B's and all is well." She pushed him playfully in mock disdain for his chauvinism. Some things about him would never change, she mused as he pulled her on top of him and began to kiss her.

When their kissing came to a natural close Sue Ellen stared into his eyes. She knew him. "Hungry, JR?" she asked, already knowing the answer. "Starving! All that exercise has worked up my appetite." She smiled and shook her head. Pulling on a robe she made to leave the room. "Hey! Where are you going?" he asked. "I'm going to order us some dinner" she answered. "Get dressed, you can answer the door when the food's here."

He got up, not appreciating just how warm and comfortable her bed had been until he had left it. He dressed quickly, anxious to join her. By the time he had entered the kitchen, dinner had been ordered. "There's a little Italian restaurant about a mile down the road" she told him. "They deliver within a certain radius. It's my go to for takeout. You'll like it."

"I could use a drink, sugar" he told her but was taken aback when she shook her head. "I'm sorry, JR, I can't offer you anything but water or juice. I had all the booze thrown away this afternoon, just before you arrived." He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "JR, I was tempted, for the first time in years today" she confessed.

JR shook his head sadly. He could still have such an adverse effect on her, he mused, even when he hadn't actually done anything. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "Not really. I know what to do. I'll call the therapist I had in London and talk to her. She will be able to recommend someone local whom I can talk to." "You've been in therapy?" She nodded. "Yes, I'm not ashamed of it either. I've learnt a lot about myself and the way I function. I'm not sure I would have survived without those sessions once things with Don became…rough."

"Did you discuss me?" She laughed at his narcissistic curiosity. "Oh yes, we have talked a lot about you, and my mother, but mostly we talked about me." "And what did you learn?" "Phew! That I'm a survivor, that's on the positive side. On the negative, that I've been a neglectful and selfish mother, born from my own childhood experiences and…" She began to blush. She'd already said too much. "And… the pain I put you through. That's why you left John Ross, to escape from me" JR answered flatly.

"No, JR. It's not all been about you. It's been about me, the person I was shaped to be, the vicarious ambitions I had to fulfil, the public persona I had to fashion and the quest for perfection. God, that all sounds so pretentious, doesn't it?" she laughed. "It helped though, that's what you just said before?" "Hmm hmm. It did. It kept me on the straight and narrow during some dark days. I thought I was done with it now but I reckon I was wrong. I'll call her first thing tomorrow and get the ball rolling."

The doorbell rang, jolting them from their thoughts. JR watched her unpack the food and set it out. She still had on her robe which clung sexily to parts of her body almost like a second skin. Her hair was slightly tousled from their earlier exertions and the faint scent of her perfume lingered on her. She was still as beautiful to him as she had ever been, beautiful yet fragile as she had just disclosed. As they sat to eat he felt compelled to speak. "Sue Ellen, I know what I did to you. It's my turn now to say sorry and to mean it, because I really do. I'm thrilled that you accepted my proposal but our marriage should wait, not because I want to wait, but because you need to, to wait until you can completely trust me never to cause you any more pain. I promise, this time, I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you how different things are going to be."

Tbc

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