Thank you to everyone who is reading it, if you enjoy it please review it, there is only one or two more chapters to go after this one, so nearly there, was meant to be a few but started adding things to it. Hope you enjoy this chapter

….

Watching Matt walk out, staring at him, he is wrong there is nothing between her and Lawson that was in the past, she had moved on, she had moved on with Matt she wasn't going to chase after him, beg him, it was his decision. Hearing Emily cry, she walks up picking her up, as she hears the door bell ring, opening it up, she turns around walking back inside, handing Lawson Emily, before walking over to get a drink.

Seeing Lawson look at him as she finishes the bottle of wine, getting up to get another one, pouring herself a glass in no mood for his self righteousness "what" shaking his head, he hadn't seen her drink in ages "Where's Matt?" not even looking at Lawson her mouth slightly open, her tongue moving around her lips, her eyes moving side to side not answering his question, truth was she had no idea where he was, only not here. Hearing Kerry not answer "I didn't think it was a hard question" looking up at Lawson her tongue moving around her mouth her eyes looking around as she answers "he's gone", trying to hide his surprise he thought they had a strong relationship "where? ….. what happened?" looking up at Lawson what did it matter to him or anyone, he had left isn't it enough she said he was gone, a glass in her hand "he left Lawson he's gone back to Darwin" shaking his head his eyes wide, surprised at what Kerry is saying wondering what happened, why Kerry was still here, he wanted them to break up he won't deny that, watching as she drinks "you think drinking is the answer, that's the answer to all your problems" looking at him no smile or anything on her face did he have to try to analysis everything all the time "why are you here, I don't fucking need your psychology, just don't' speak at all?" reaching out to touch her he is used to her outbursts lashing out at him, doing everything herself, she flings his hand her word harsh "don't" seeing her eyes dart around the room "Kerry…" looking up at Lawson, the caring in his eyes, glancing at Emily lying in his arms, seeing him stroke her head, smiling slightly at him, even if he was the most annoying person, she was grateful he was here to take Emily off her, in no mood to deal with her daughter or anything, the only thing wanting to do is drink her solution to hall her problems. Seeing Kerry lean back on the lounge, her face tired, sadness in his eyes. Emptying the bottle into the glass having no where near enough to drink, she looks around "shit" before throwing the empty bottle across the room.

Looking at Kerry, Lawson is starting to get worried, what happened to her to cause , what happened to Matt "is Matt coming back" shaking her head, her eyes darting around the room, looking at Lawson she doesn't want to talk about it she didn't want to admit or acknowledge the hurt she was feeling she didn't want to feel anything or even think about anything "if you want to know, call Matt Lawson, stop pissing me off" walking over to the bench getting another bottle of wine, pouring herself a glass, watching Lawson pick up the bottle she reaches out to grab it "Stop being a smart arse Lawson, just give me back the bottle" shaking his head he had to help her even if she hated him for it "you've had enough to drink". Seeing her eyes bore through his in no mood for him "Who do you think you are Lawson …. just take Emily and piss off and leave me alone" snatching the bottle out of his hands, before walking up stairs.

Lying on the bed, her eyes looking up at the ceiling, Matt's words replaying in her mind, she did love Matt in her own way but it wasn't enough, she knew he loved her and he was special and she did have feeling for him why couldn't he see that or the fact that was there any truth in what he said was there something between her and Lawson, there was no secret she had loved him for ages, did she still like him, would it work out. There was only one way to find out, did she want to go there, as it was she was in no mood for thinking.

Staring into Emily's room, seeing Lawson there, stroking Emily, watching him turn around walking out of the room, could they play happy families, could they be happy together, turning to face Kerry seeing her stare at him as she walks closer to him, feeling her wrap her arms around him, pulling his lips down to her, pulling back from her "what are you doing Kerry", whispering "what does it look like?" shaking his head "No Kerry" trying to disentangle himself from her "I'm not going to be here just when you feel like a fuck" looking up at him in surprise at his words "is that what you think this is" shaking his head looking at her confused wondering what is happening to her this wasn't the Kerry he knew, despite her having too much to drink "I have no idea what is happening to you, Matt left today, I'm sure you were real close to him, now your starting to kiss me what is going on?"

Following her downstairs, turning her around to face him "Did you think I'd just sleep with you Kerry, the day Matt left" moving her tongue around her lips she wasn't really thinking at all "I don't know Lawson, everything has just turned to shit"

…..

Opening the door the surprise evident on Lawson's face "Can I come in" nodding opening the door "I thought you had left?" looking at Lawson, standing at his place was as hard as leaving the woman he loved "my flight leaves tomorrow morning." Looking at Matt, wondering why he was here, what this is about "Look after Kerry for me?" looking at Matt wondering what had happened "You're the one she wants Matt" shaking his head how he wished that was true that he was still with her "She's not in love with me…. I see the way she looks at you and you look at her, she has never looked at me like that" Looking at Matt, he knows he loves Kerry he was pretty sure she loved him, "She loves you" shaking his head, that was the problem "no she doesn't, she has never said it, it's you she wants" shaking his head at Matt, he knows he is wrong he has known Kerry long enough "We don't have a future" seeing Matt look at him "you have a daughter together Lawson, don't throw that away, I know you want her, and deep down, she wants you, don't give up on her, she needs someone to help her, she can't do this by herself she deserves someone who really loves her and she loves back and as much as I want that to be me, it isn't." looking at Matt surprised at what comes out of Lawson's mouth "you need to fight for her Matt, don't give up on her so easily" looking at Lawson no smile on his face the decision he made one of the hardest of his life, he wants to fight for her, he wants her so much "You think this is easy Lawson, that I haven't thought about it, I haven't stopped thinking about it, wondering if, it is better to leave now than a few months or a year later, I'm doing this for her. She is one special person and I wish she had the special feeling that I have for her but she doesn't" trying to hide his surprise in a way he can partly see what Kerry likes he is a decent guy "what are you going to do?" smiling ruefully at Lawson "going back to Darwin, see if I can get a job somewhere, I can't do tactical response for a while…. Make her happy Lawson" looking at Matt as much as he would love to he's pretty sure that despite everything Kerry didn't want him "you're the one that can do that for her" smiling ruefully at Lawson "no, she just doesn't want to admit it…. Give it a month or so and you will be together" looking at Matt, he can't imagine how hard it is for him, taking guts to come here and talk to him "Matt she does deserve you, I don't think you should give up on her" Not even looking at Lawson he can't talk about her anymore "I think she is wonderful you know and I wish things were different that she loved me, but if we keep this up I'm just ruining her chances of happiness with someone else. I don't want to hurt her or get hurt again"

Walking out of Lawson's the hardest thing he had done was give up the woman he had loved despite everything he didn't blame Kerry or hate her maybe she did think she loved him but he needed to move on.

…..

Walking into Kerry's a few days later, her behaviour now making sense, and the other night, seeing Kerry on the couch, feeding their daughter, standing near the stairs staring at her, despite everything he still wanted her wanted to be with her, to feel her touch again, was there any truth in what Matt said to him. Seeing Lawson just staring at her not moving his eyes fixed on her, "Lawson what do you want?" walking over sitting close to her looking at her "you…I think, move in with me Kerry" looking at Lawson was he serious she had her own place, they weren't even together could she even live with him, seeing her look at him like he was crazy as he continues "it makes sense, we could find a bigger place with a back yard for Em" Looking at Lawson did she hear him correctly, was he crazy how could they move in together they weren't even together all they had was a daughter together "your crazy Lawson" leaning closer to Kerry reaching out for Kerry's hand "I want to be with you Kerry its all I wanted for ages, I want you I'm in love with you Kerry, I never stopped loving you." moving his hand to touch her leg, then moving down her leg, rubbing her thigh "give it a try" looking at him his touch sending shivers through her his touch had always had an effect on her "we're been there, it hasn't worked out" leaning close to her he wanted her and had for ages he hadn't stopped loving her, he had tried but now here she was single again, his mouth inches from her ear "there is something between us, Kerry you can't deny that you know it too" looking at Lawson his mouth so close to hers "I don't' know Lawson" whispering "let me show you" her mouth inches from his as she whispers "Just think about my history, I'm trouble" smiling at Kerry she had said that before, not moving his mouth away from hers "What sort of trouble, I like trouble" moving her lips to his as they kiss each other before she moves away slightly her voice still a whisper "That kind of trouble, that is exactly the kind of think I can't take a risk on, when I'm around you I'm…" not moving his mouth away from Kerry his eyes still fixed with hers his voice soft " no" smiling at her "Good, so glad I could clarify that point for you" not moving his lips away from hers feeling her blue eyes staring at him, her mouth slightly open as her tongue moves over her lips, not able to resist her anymore as his lips meet hers, putting Emily on the ground, she feels Lawson pulling her towards him as their lips meet she can't resist him, truth be told she did want him, always had "I can't help myself".

Looking at Lawson his body toned from working out and his job, she sees him looking at her, his chocolate pudding eyes staring into hers, she did want him, she wanted to make love to him again, lie next to him, she wanted to feel his touch she can't help how she feels, as much as she doesn't want to feel like that all he has to do is touch her. Watching Kerry's eyes move over his body a while later, as she moves slightly away from him, looking at her, he wonders if he is pushing her into it "I feel like I'm pushing you into this, making you do something you don't want" shaking her head her head looking down towards the floor her voice soft "your not…. I … I don't have any control over how I feel, no matter what I think" smiling at Kerry holding her gaze "you going to take the risk then?" finding her answer as her lips find his