Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Title: Hear Me Now
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: R
Characters: Buffy, Faith
Emotion: Crappy
Spoilers: Set during season 7.
Summary: The First visits Buffy with some unwanted truths.

"Well, I swear to you and God we've been down this road before.
The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more.
And the truths that we all try to hide
Are so much clearer when it's not our lives.
We don't face the blame."
- 'Hear Me Now' by Framing Hanley


Buffy could count on one hand how many nights she actually slept since the First started making appearances in her dreams. Every night it was another death. So many girls, all defenseless, on the brink of tapping into the power that might save them, but it was always just out of reach. Always held inside Buffy's heartbeat.

Most nights she wandered the town now, feeling lonely but seeking solitude. It was strange to see the town so deserted. The movie theatre that used to be such a popular spot had been closed for weeks now. The only place left open was the Bronze, but with less patrons going, she was sure that place would shut down soon, too.

She came to a stop in front of the movie theatre, wishing for a moment that it were open. Wishing that she could go back in time to a place where there may have been threats, but she was always sure she'd come out on top. The Master, Angelus, Faith, the Mayor, Adam, Glory, the darkness that nearly consumed her... All those enemies had been so strong at the time. Looking back, they seemed like nothing. What she wouldn't give for a run-of-the-mill flesh and blood bad guy.

"Hoping to catch a movie, B?"

Buffy flinched, startled. She turned to the Slayer behind her, catching the cocky smile that nearly always graced her face. She couldn't help but notice that her lips were glossed a deep crimson. She realized at that moment that she hadn't seen Faith wear makeup like that since her escape from prison. She had always thought that the brunette looked sexy as hell with the harsh makeup, but the more natural look she sported these days seemed nicer.

Studying Faith, she realized that something seemed off. Her hair seemed shorter, and her eyes didn't look as tired as they normally did. "Did you get a haircut?" Buffy asked. Faith let out a laugh and shook her head, messing up her dark locks. "Nah. Why? D'you like it like this?"

Buffy looked at the clothes she was wearing. Black leather pants, a deep blue and crimson top that showed quite a bit of cleavage, a black denim jacket and heavy boots. The blonde's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the outfit. Faith took in the realization that washed across her face and smiled.

"I remembered you liked it."

Buffy frowned, suddenly feeling suspicious. "Where did you get those clothes?" she asked, an edge to her tone. Faith rolled her shoulders back, unconsciously (or maybe consciously) pushing her chest out more.

"C'mon, B. You can't tell me you don't like it. Remember that night at the Bronze? We were so close then. We were so in tune with each other."

Buffy tried to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine as she took a step back. Faith followed, stepping forward.

"I could sense every little thing you felt, Twinkie. And I knew you wanted me then. Just like I know you want me now."

"Stop it, Faith."

The brunette stopped a foot away from her, and Buffy frowned. The edges around Faith seemed a bit blurry. Her eyes widened. "How are you doing this? You can only take the form of someone who died."

Faith's mouth spread into a wide, wicked grin. "Took you long enough to figure it out."

"How can you be her? Or can you be anyone?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, babe. But I can't. You're right. I can only be someone who died."

Buffy cringed as her heart sank. "Then there's no way you can be her. Faith never died."

The copy in front of her suddenly winced and clutched at her stomach. Her clothing shifted in front of her, changing to the outfit she'd worn on the rooftop. Buffy watched the blood, so realistic-looking, seep between Faith's fingers. Brown eyes, full of shock, locked with hers.

"You did it, B. You killed me."

Buffy swallowed and shook her head in denial. "No. No, I didn't. I just put her in a coma."

The First laughed and dropped her hands away from her abdomen, blood still flowing and staining the fabric.

"You're kidding, right? You stuck one hell of a knife in her gut. Fucked up her kidneys. Fucked up her mind. Broke her body. You don't think she flat-lined once? Because that's all it takes, baby. One second where that heart stops, and I can take that image."

Buffy tried to ignore the truth of what the thing in front of her was saying. She'd known Faith had been badly hurt, but she never knew she'd ever flat-lined.

"She could sense you, you know. She could feel you, miles away. I'm guessing that little link works both ways. You knew when Faith died. You must have felt it."

"No," Buffy whispered, shaking her head.

"No? I guess it really was a once-sided thing then, because she sure as fuck felt when you died."

The doppleganger circled Buffy slowly. "You should've seen her, B. The second you jumped off that tower, this chick's heart broke. And I mean, it was absolutely shattered. Bitch broke down in her cell like someone was ripping her damn heart out. All tears and wailing. You would've loved it."

Buffy shut her eyes, trying to block it out. "You're a liar."

"I'm evil, but that doesn't mean I gotta lie to you. You're the one who lies to herself."

"Shut up."

"She loved you, you know. Wanted you from the moment she saw you come to save her in that stupid little dress. Wanted so badly to befriend you, to know you, to make you proud. Wanted so badly for you to love her, too. And the second she needed you, you bailed on her. She knew you wanted her. She knew you hated her, too. And that made her hate herself, more."

"Shut up!"

"She went to prison because you wanted her to. She came back to the place that scares her the most because she wants to protect you. She's going up against me to try to save you. She's risking everything for you, and you can't even give her a kind word. And you think she's a monster?"

"Shut up, god-damn it!"

"She knows we'll never forgive her."

Buffy turned to see the mirror image of herself, eyes cold and cruel.

"I already have," she argued. The First shook its head.

"No. You can't. Because she can make you weak, and you hate her for that. It's something she doesn't know, but you do."

Buffy swallowed back the urge to cry.

"Why are you telling me this?"

It smiled.

"Because she's going to die. Everyone is going to die. They'll hold her pretty little neck in their hands and they'll snap it, and she'll die knowing you hate her. That nothing she did was ever enough."

It shifted back to Faith's form, and Buffy shivered at the sound of her husky voice as it spoke.

"The best way to hurt someone is with the truth, B. That's why I don't bother with lies. Honesty is so much more painful."

It leaned in close, and Buffy could almost swear she felt breath against her ear.

"I want you to die knowing your soul is no more cleaner than anyone else's. You can put her down all you like, and she'll take it. But in the end, your soul is just a filthy with guilt as hers. Yours moreso, because you'll never do anything to change it. And I like that."

Buffy turned to argue, but she was gone.

Shaken to the core, she cursed herself for letting the First get to her. She knew its games. She knew better than to listen. She also knew that it was right about everything. "Fuck," she muttered. She wrapped her arms around herself, holding onto herself tightly, before beginning the walk back home.