Ahh love…damn guys for confusing us! Yeah I hate the male gender right now…except… you know those four hot boys xD

Now lets continue!

PROM - CHAPTER 23

James PoV

I was laying on my bed listening to Breaking Benjamin´s Dear Agony, yeah not the best song to make me feel better, and the truth was that I didn't want to feel better, I wanted to dwell on my misery, my stupidity, my moronic decisions and my apparent lack intelligence. I groaned turning to my side closing my eyes remembering that afternoon three days ago…

"YES! WHEN ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS THE SAME THING SOME LUNATIC DID TO YOU!" he screamed and I froze, he didn't say that! He couldn't be saying that!

"W-what?" I closed my eyes begging for him to tell me that I had misunderstood him, that it was just my panic, that he…that he didn't…

"You heard me" Shit! Shit! No God no! I started trembling, my mind racing back two years, everybody wanted their piece…nothing more.

"Just two fuck holes" I whispered.

"What? No! James!" he stopped the car and turned to look at me wide eyed, he looked scared but I couldn't care less, I hugged my sides trying to breathe again…what day was it? Where was I? Tuesday, inside Kendall´s car…good I wasn't going completely crazy "James?" he reached to touch me and I jumped away from him…

I had fucking JUMPED away from him! I threw my pillow in rage when his face popped inside my mind, he looked way beyond hurt, he looked like he had harmed a puppy and nothing he could do would take away his regret…and then I had told him to take me back to my parents house and I had stormed outside the car, got home and called Logan, my best friend didn't even know what had happened, and I made him promise that he wouldn´t ask, I just needed someone there…and yeah now I felt like a douchebag for it.

Somehow with all his doctors knowledge Logan had figured why I was like that…I knew it before he even got the chance to tell me, it had finally happened, I had hit regression…I was insane again, panicking when people got close to me and hating every minute of it…luckily Kelly had diagnosed me the next day and concluded that it was just a warning from my mind, I had to stop having so many emotions at one time…yeah like that would happen, ever sense I met Kendall my life had become an emotional rollercoaster and I wouldn't change one minute of it. Concerned, my parents sent me back to my daily shrink visits and forbid me to talk to Kendall while I recovered, not that I planned on taking their word for it, they said that it was for my own good, well fuck them he was the only good inside my life…as long as I grew the balls to talk to him again.

I looked at my phone´s background, it was out first picture together, he was laughing while I kissed his cheek, Carlos had taken that photo unannounced, making it real and perfect.

The hardest thing was when all that psycho drama had stopped, when I could think clear again and know how idiotic I was for reacting that way, Kelly told me that it wasn't my fault, that I was in the tightrope ever sense I had gotten those texts but that didn't help me at all. Now I was eager to hear his voice. Still completely terrified of talking to him I was surprised when I saw an incoming call, it was the tenth time he tried to get in touch with me, I answered thinking that he must be really bothered about all that had happened to call me past midnight.

"James?" said Kendall from the other side of the line, he sounded happy in a tortured way, probably surprised that I had answered the call. I held the phone against my ear sighing, God I missed him so much, I had to stay home waiting to get better escaping school and my boyfriend "Hi" he whispered making me feel a sting in my heart "James please talk to me, I´m sorry, I didn't want to tell you because I knew how much I would hurt you…please" he begged me.

Kendall PoV

I could hear him at the other side of the line, his soft breathing getting to me like a slap in the face. How could I be so stupid? Yeah I knew I would tell him sooner or later, but I had to fucking pick that day to explode and yell at him…the same fucking day some bastard had tried to rape him. Awesome timing Kendall, like always.

"Ok, if you don't want to talk to me, please just listen" silence "I-I… I have no idea what to say…I know I´m such an animal for yelling at you like that and I won´t excuse myself for it and…"

"You don't need to" I almost cried when he spoke, he didn't even sound mad at me; I waited for him to say something more but again he kept silent.

"A-and about that I am so sorry James…"

"And again with the sorry" did he sound amused? "How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing when you do things that get me off balance?"

"That didn't get you off balance; that hurt you…"

"Yeah well it had to happen sooner or later" what? I blinked not getting what he said, it had to happen sooner or later…me hurting him? For how long did he think like that? I thought that ever sense that first fight we were ok, that his fears about our relationship were wiped, I didn't imagine that he had doubts about us…and he was right to have them, I always messed things up, he was suffering and it was my entire fault "Kendall?"

"I think we should break up" I said before I realized and unexpectedly I felt like it was the best decision for his own well being.

"Please tell me that´s a joke" his voice was steady, like every time he was keeping himself from showing his emotions.

"It´s not"

"Why?" I sat on the bed resting my head on the headboard closing my eyes.

"Because it´s the best for you"

"Bullshit!" I bit my lip, I knew it was going to be hard "Kendall being with you is the only thing keeping me going…"

"I am the one putting you through this hell, I was the one guilty of that man taking you, I am the one that made you hit regression…don't you see? Being with me hurts you, your parents already saw that…my mom told me they forbid you to talk to me…I am surprised that you decided to answer the call…"

"I did it because I love you, you moron…I thought we were through this. It´s. Not. Your. Fault." It sounded more like a plea than a scold.

"How can you still love me?"

"How could I not love you?"

"I´m a bad person James, how could I think that is hot to fuck my abused boyfriend? You deserve better, we´re done…"

"Kendall! No…!" I hung up, two seconds later I got a text.

No way we´re done, you won´t get rid of me that easy.

I grimaced, perhaps I could say things like that by the phone but I was sure I couldn't do it to his face, I just hoped that his parents wouldn't let him stay the day at school just like the last couple of days. He had just showed up for tests and some tutoring in math, no one talked to him knowing that something horrible had happened to him, I had avoided him not having any idea how to act around him…Camille wouldn't stop nagging me to tell her what was going on, I was miserable and the only thing I could focus on was helping my best friend get a date to the prom, which was tomorrow night.

Knowing that I had school the next day and that I needed some rest I laid back on the bed giving my back to James´ side of it…I closed my eyes repeating one quote over and over again: if you love someone, let him go…I loved him more than I could think of, and I was hurting him, he was better without me.

The next morning I woke up moody, tired and depressed…yeah I shouldn't be surprised about it. I got up, showered and went to the kitchen to have breakfast ending with a glass of juice, I wasn't hungry and that was unusual for me. Deciding that I was better surrounded by people I took my car keys and went to school getting there early enough to be by myself in the classroom, I sat on my seat groaning at the sight of James´ empty seat…it was going to be a long day.

"Morning sunshine" said Carlos palming my back "You look awfully happy today, what happened?" he sat at the teacher´s desk giving me a concerned look.

"I broke up with James" it was worse to say it out loud. I let my head fall to the table.

"Why?" now he was looking at me like I had grown a second head or something.

"It was the best decision…now how´s the prom-date research going?"

"I think I´ll ask Stephanie, but she doesn't even acknowledge me…and you´re a moron for doing that to him" ok I my best friend and my boyfriend…scratch that, my best friend and my exboyfriend had called me a moron, now that didn't do much good to my self-esteem.

"I´m doing it for his own good and she´s totally into you, I´ve seen her"

"Only cuz you´re obsessing about getting me a date, that kind of makes you see things…his own good? What does he think about this?"

"He said that I won´t get rid of him that easily…and I am so not obsessing with your date"

"You are, but it´s ok I guess, I get a hot date and you get your mind of things, a win-win" he shrugged just before Camille came inside the classroom looking pissed.

"Morning Camille" I grimaced when my eyes crossed her brown ones.

"What did you do to him?"

"Huh?" play dementia Kendall, nice…I could almost hear James whispering a smooth at my ear…I had to stop thinking about him!

"Logan said that whatever happened to James it was because of you, what did you do to him? Why isn't he answering his phone? Why isn't he coming to school? Why is it that all of you know except me?" she put her arms in her hips awaiting answers I couldn't give her, not without James permission.

"I can´t tell you that, just know that yeah it´s truth I hurt him, and we broke up" her eyes softened at my words "I don't know if he´ll be back to school regularly or if he´ll continue just getting quizzes and tutoring…"

"There are rumors…that say horrible things about him" she murmured before the other students started getting inside the classroom, she bit her lip before waving us goodbye and getting out as the teacher came inside.

"Morning guys, ready for prom?" he said and got an ovation from the other students, I just ducked my head keeping my mouth shut, and he noticed…a nice talk awaited for me.

When the class ended Mr. Smith asked me to stay behind, he sat on the edge of his desk and gave me a concerned look.

"Anything you want to talk about?" I shook my head "How are things with your mother?"

"Better" they were, she had managed to befriend James´ mother and she was the one updating me about him, not that she was too happy about the Diamonds forbidding him to talk to me, but she understood why they did it.

"And James?"

"We broke up"

"He broke up with you?"

"No, I broke up with him" I did not want to see his stunned expression.

"Why?"

"Because I´m a horrible person, I keep harming him…you know what they say, if you love someone let him go" I closed my eyes, I wanted to go home and mope alone, I had been there only an hour and I was already drained.

"That´s got to be the worse relationship advice anybody could follow…Kendall you didn't harm him, what happened with that man isn't your fault"

"Maybe not, but what happened later it was, he knows it too…even his parents know it"

"What did you do?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Who else knows what really happened?"

"Just James and I…"

"Then how do you know his parents are making the right decisions? They don't have all the info, they can´t be right"

"If they knew the info they would probably put a restriction order with my name on it" I straighten up "Can I go?"

"James will be coming here in an hour to do a math quiz, I think you should talk to him" I tensed, he would most likely look for me.

"Later teach" I got up and walked away, I couldn't go home and James´ knew my schedule better than his own, there was no way I could avoid him if he wanted to talk to me.

I went to the library looking for some peace and quiet; I sat on our usual table and started doing some science homework not really putting much effort in it. Suddenly I heard some familiar footsteps, I had to take a deep breath trying to prepare myself for whatever he was about to do.

"Any specific gender you want to do?" his voice asked at my back, I didn't move to look at him "Don't be such a pervert and answer the damn question" I closed my eyes remembering that first day, everything had started with those lines, our first joke together, and giving the circumstances it was kind of appropriate, even if he already knew the answer.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to focus back on science ignoring him, he sighed and walked to sit next to me, I didn't lift my eyes from my notebook knowing that I wasn't strong enough to look at him and be a jerk again.

"Looking for a date to the prom" keep writing, keep writing "Do you know a cute guy that would go with me? My boyfriend kind of dumped me"

"No, I don't know anybody" I mumbled keeping the charade.

"I don't know, maybe a grumpy blond?" he moved his chair closer to me, I had to swallow totally forgetting about my homework "An idiotic green eyed guy that doesn't know what he does to me" he let his face fall in my arm, I fisted my hands when I started to feel my shirt wet "I love you, I need you and I don't care that you wanted to fuck me, it´s natural that you do…please Kendall" he whispered so only I could heard him, he sounded so broken and vulnerable.

"James you didn't see the panic I saw when I told you that" I pressed my eyes with my fingers.

James PoV

I was desperate and I knew that and he didn't seem to understand that. Pain crept inside my body as he gathered his stuff and walked away from me. I closed my eyes trying to stay calm, he was my wall, my strength and now he was abandoning me taking everything with him. I cleaned my eyes remembering the text I had sent him, he wasn't going to get rid of me that easily…I just needed some help. I got my phone out and dialed Camille's number.

"James! Where are you? What…?"

"I'm in the library, come here please and if you find Carlos around there bring him too" I cut her off.

"You have a lot to explain mister"

"I know, and I will tell you but right now I need you to help me, please"

"Fine" she sounded mad, I knew I was going to get reproached for disappearing on her like that, but they were the only people I trusted in the whole school and I needed them to help me get my idiot boyfriend back. I crossed my arms in the table resting my head in them, I was so tired of my life, I just wanted things to get back to normal, to be happy and relaxed again. I closed my eyes whispering a song I loved…warmness of the soul by Avenged Sevenfold, it was a beautiful song that really remind me of Kendall…the lyrics even spoke about green eyes. I kept singing in whispers sensing my mood lighten, it had been long sense I sang in any way and it felt good to do it even if there was no one to hear me.

"You have a beautiful voice" said Ms. Johnson putting some books on a shelf.

"Thank you" I turned when I heard a couple of voices getting near, Camille and Carlos came to view "Hi" I smiled getting up.

"You look like shit" she said taking my face between her hands, I laughed and moved her aside.

"I feel like it"

"Ready to get your boyfriend back?" grinned Carlos

"He's an idiot, too stubborn for his own good" they sat across from me "I need your help to get him to go to prom with me"

"James you look sick, are you sure you should be thinking about prom and not about your health?" scolded Camille.

"If you hadn't slept, barely eat and be miserable for almost two weeks you would have this face too" I murmured resting my head in my hand.

"That doesn't explain the bruises" yeah she could see through the foundation, should've seen that coming.

"Yeah that's a story for another moment…any ideas of what can I do to get him to listen to me? I was planning on tying him to a chair but I don't think it would have a nice effect on him"

"That sounds fun, but I agree lets try not to traumatize him for life" said Camille, I pretty much doubted that he would be traumatized, more like getting all horny and hating me for it.

"I can get him to prom, no problem" shrugged Carlos "The talking is all up to you" I wasn't good with words, if after saying all that to him he still left, my words weren't good enough…there had to be something else to get him back, to show him how much I craved for him.

"You could sing to him" I heard Ms. Johnson's words, could I find my love of singing again? Could I give him my entire soul to him risking having my heart broken? For him, of course I could.