MP Ch13a
A/n: So, here we are again;)
It seems that a rather lot of you are pissed at Carlisle and Esme. Please remember that they DID NOT KNOW that they were doing anything illegal. The adoption was all above board. AND, Renee DID have Power of Attorney over Bella, so technically she didn't do anything illegal, either. Just shady and awful.
I love, love, love that you are ALL so passionate about Edward staying clean. Me, too….trust me.
Much love to all the wonderful women who help us out, A Jasper For Me is a stellar, off the charts beta! Her help has only added more to our fic, so THANK YOU AJFM And, lvtwilight09 made a fuckawesome manip pic for us of the current "look" of Edward. It's in both Bnjwl's Box and Theonlykyla Fanfiction groups on FB.
Thanks to Mamadog93 and Ttharman for their pre-reading and input;)
Now, on with the show….enjoy!
EPOV
My adrenaline was pumping.
It felt like everything was in slow motion as the air around me filled with thick, heady tension.
Out of nowhere I heard a terrifying sound ... a scream ... Bella's voice ... screaming. And as I turned to her, I watched her fall to the ground just as I lunged to catch her.
I cradled her head as her limp body filled my arms. My heart shattered at the sight of her so depleted from life. I called out to her as tears filled my eyes and wet my cheeks. I talked to her, called her name, reassured her of my love, reaffirmed that I was here, by her side, forever.
Nothing worked as she lulled in and out of consciousness. Her mumblings incoherent as Carlisle went to work with a medical assessment and treatment. The ambulance ride was mortifying to me as I recalled the various trips when I had to be escorted to the hospital in critical condition the same as my Princess was now.
I couldn't stop the anxiety and fear from overtaking my lungs or the rips I felt on the corners of my heart.
My head told me she'd be fine and we'd get through this, but I was still gripped with the notion her life might never be the same again.
She'd finally cracked.
After all the years apart, after all the shit Renee had put her through, all the moments I wasn't there to rescue her; it all became too much.
We pulled up to the hospital and things became even more chaotic as time stood still when they pulled her hand from mine and rushed her into a treatment room. I was forced to stand there, alone, and watch the love my life in the hands of another.
I couldn't rescue her.
I had to put my hand on my chest to stop the rapidly beating thunder my ears were consumed with.
I sat in a chair and put my head between my knees and closed my eyes as I concentrated on stopping the panic attack threatening the edges of my mind.
She was safe.
She wasn't alone.
She knew I was here.
"Edward, I called your parents. They'll be here shortly." Carlisle said as he sat beside me with a hand on my shoulder.
I couldn't control the tears as I looked up to the man I'd always considered a second father.
"I can't lose her, Carlisle. I just got her back … I simply cannot lose her." I sobbed as he pulled me into his arms.
He comforted me and told me he felt this was the psychotic break he'd seen coming for a while.
He explained Bella hadn't grieved for the death of Renee, hadn't truly dealt with the aftermath of her accident and subsequent lies Renee had force fed her, nor had she truly come to terms with the abuse she'd been subjected to for the better part of her life. He knew she wasn't stable and the medication she was on wasn't really helping her deal with the emotions she needed to.
"What can I do? How can I help her?" I begged as I wiped my face and ran a hand through my hair.
"Be here. Help her face the realities of what she's been through. Continue to reassure her you aren't going to abandon her and you'll be there while she goes through therapy. Hell, both of you should be in therapy together." He said as he stood to get a cup of coffee from the table across from us.
My rage for Renee Swan filled my veins. Once again, Bella was suffering because of her doing.
She'd always forced Bella to be tough, have nerves of steel and never truly allowed her to be emotional when it was warranted.
I had been in therapy for three years and valued the merit of all it had done for my own life, so I knew it could only benefit Bella to attend as well. And, Carlisle was right, we needed to be in therapy together.
While I had loved her since she was four years old, Bella was not the same person I knew and loved, nor was I the same Edward she once knew.
Life had changed us.
Life had destroyed us both.
Circumstances had pulled us apart.
Circumstances had kept us apart.
Our love is a bright and shining sunny morning, and our separation is the wicked storm of night.
We simply didn't work without the other. I think time had proven that again and again.
However, I wasn't sure how healthy we would or could be together, either. I had a long history of abusing drugs. Bella had a long history of emotional abuse.
Those two combined could either flourish in a flat, even road or burst into a chaotic rollercoaster of turmoil.
I hoped and prayed Bella and I could see our way through all of this, together.
"Edward?" I heard my mom's voice call me out of my revelry.
"Mom," I cried as I felt her arms comfort me as only they could. I might be a grown man, but I will forever need the comfort her arms provided me.
Then, guilt settled over me.
Bella never knew the true comforts of a mother's love or the softness of unconditional love with understanding.
"It's okay, son, we're here. We've got you." My father's voice soothed my nerves as he hugged me from behind.
My relationship with my parents had blossomed now that I was clean and sober. I wanted them in my life. I needed them in my life.
And I know Bella needs them, too.
"Bella's hurt." I spoke through a raspy voice as I pulled back from my mother's embrace.
"Carlisle filled us in." My dad replied.
"Have you called Charlie?" I asked as I turned to sit back down.
"Do you want us to?" Edward, Sr. asked as I ran a hand over my face.
"I think we need to. She'll need all the strength she can get. She just … fuck. I don't know anymore. Everything just feels like it's piled up so high. I don't even know where to start." I said, and I felt that tightness in my chest again.
"It's okay, Edward. I'll call him." Elizabeth said as she pulled her phone from her purse and left the waiting area.
"Carlisle, when will we hear something?" I asked as I felt my anxiety began to rise again.
"I'll go check and see how things are going." He said as he got up to leave.
I watched him walk away and instantly felt regret for the fight I'd had with him earlier.
I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I had a son.
A son who was now my cousin, I thought and a shudder ran through me.
"Edward, how did you get that cut on your head?" My dad's concerned voice forced me to wince as I remembered the battle from earlier.
I was suddenly embarrassed and full of worry about telling my parents about my child …well, about a son I didn't know I had.
Fuck.
Life was truly fucked up again.
And this time around, I had to be sober and just deal with it.
"I got into a fight with Carlisle." I muttered and hid my eyes.
"What?" My dad's stern and confused voice rang into the quiet silence.
I looked up and saw disappointment and trepidation in the eyes shining back at me.
"Did you know Bella and I have a son?" I questioned. I didn't know if everyone but me knew about Riley.
"What?" My father asked, his face a range of emotions as I nodded at him.
"Apparently, Bella got pregnant at graduation. Long story short, she had an accident where Renee told her the baby had died. But, um … she gave him up for adoption." I said as the realization dawned in my father's eyes.
"She didn't. They couldn't." He said, shocked and hurt.
I nodded again.
"She did. And they would, apparently." I answered, and ran my hand through my hair again.
"How did you find out?" He asked, and I could hear the fear in voice.
Just then, my mom, Esme and Carlisle walked into the waiting area, "Edward, you can see her now." Carlisle informed me.
"Son, are you sure this is wise?" My mother said as she stepped in front of me and searched my eyes.
"I'm positive. That's the love of my life lying in that bed, alone, hurt and sick. I have to be there for her." I answered and squeezed her shoulder before I stepped around her to follow my uncle back to Bella's room.
He paused outside her door and turned to me, "Try and keep her calm, if possible."
I nodded and waited for the door to be opened.
I walked in and saw my Princess.
The one I had known all my life.
So small and curled onto her side, her face smudge with dried and fresh tears, her eyes puffy and red as her lip quivered my name.
"Edward." Her voice even sounded small.
Then her eyes closed as I wrapped my hands around hers.
"What's wrong, Carlisle?" I whispered as he stood beside me.
"She did have a psychotic break. She's in a manic state that bottomed out. Her mind is trying to protect itself from the deluge of emotions she's repressed for so long." He answered quietly as he moved to pick a piece of hair off her face.
"She's been through so much." His voice full of nothing but love as he looked at my Princess and shook his head.
"Is this my fault?" I spoke in a tremor, my own emotions about to crumble at the thought I hurt her.
"No, Edward. This has been years in the making. I'm sure the trauma of her accident, Renee's death, learning about Riley and then of course, finding you again … well, it's a bit much for her to handle with no outlet." His reply held emotions but also the feel of a doctor that was handing a loved one information about the patient.
"She just found me last night." I felt the tear roll down my cheek at the memory of having her in my arms again after all these years.
"I'll let you stay for a while. I'm going to go fill everyone else in and find out about her treatment." He said as he touched me on the shoulder.
"Carlisle?" I said as I turned to him. I knew I needed to make things right, even if I didn't know what right was in this situation.
"Yes," He stopped walking and looked at me.
I just stood there and looked at him, unsure of what to say.
"It's okay, Edward. I probably would have reacted the same way." He said with a sigh before he smiled a small smile at me, "We'll figure it out."
With that, I watched him walk out and close the door quietly behind him.
I turned back to Bella and held in a sob.
"Come back to me, baby. I need you. I've always needed you." I whispered to her sleeping form.
I wasn't sure if she could hear me or not.
I wasn't sure if she even realized I was here or not.
But I knew.
I knew I would never leave her side again.
I held her tiny hands in mine and studied her fingers.
She had a light pink glaze to her manicured nails. It made me smile. Pink always had been her color.
The subtle grace of the hue against her alabaster skin, her stark dark brown hair and those big expressive brown eyes; it made up the beauty I'd always seen in her.
It was how I'd always seen her in my dreams.
Soft pink fabric embracing her skin as her hair pulled tight atop her head, the long line of her neck and back followed by the sensuous lines of her legs as she twirled around the room.
That's my Princess.
"Knight," she mumbled and began to fidget.
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"I'm here, Princess. I'm here with my sword to rescue you." I whispered against her temple, and she curled around my hands that held hers.
She mumbled again, but I couldn't really understand what she was saying.
But she had to know I was here.
I hoped she felt safe.
I reached behind me and pulled the small chair over to sit down.
I was exhausted.
I leaned my head back on the chair and watched Bella for a few minutes before my own eyes drifted closed.
I don't know how long I had been asleep when I felt someone or something on my hands.
I opened my eyes to see Bella staring back at me as her hands kissed my swollen knuckles.
"You're here." She said, almost quieter than a whisper as her voice was hoarse from screaming.
"I am. I'm not leaving." I replied quietly as I leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"I'm sorry." She said with tears in her eyes.
"Don't, baby. Just rest. I'm here, I'll take care of you." I said with confidence as her tears began to fall.
I leaned further onto the bed to hold her as best as I could and wrapped my arms around her.
Her head was able to snuggle into the crook of my neck.
We were quiet and just laid there, until I heard her sigh deeply, and I knew she was asleep once again.
I carefully extracted myself from her hold and stood up to stretch just as a soft knock sounded on the door.
"Come in." I answered just in time to see Charlie Swan's face peek through a small opening.
"Hi Edward, how's our girl doing?" He came to stand next to me as we both watched over her sleeping form.
"As well as can be expected, I guess." I answered as I picked up her hand to kiss it, never wanting to stop touching her.
"How did either of you end up here?" He asked after a few minutes of stifling silence.
I sighed and motioned for him to sit in the chair beside the bed as I managed to sit on the foot of Bella's bed and keep a hold of her hand.
"She showed up at one of my shows last night." I replied and watched the sleeping girl in front of me. I studied the way her brow furrowed a bit so I reached out and tried to smooth it with my fingers. A small smile played on her lips as my finger lingered on her face.
"She's really missed you." Charlie said and pulled me from the moment I was caught in.
"I've missed her more than words could ever say." I said with a sigh and cupped her cheek.
"So, you going to tell me what happened?" The Chief's voice was full of curiosity, and I knew I had to be honest with him.
We sat and talked for a while as I told him everything that had transpired over the past twenty-four hours.
He moved back in the chair and stared at Bella while a heavy silence lapsed between us.
"I always knew Renee pushed too hard, that she manipulated Bella's life to suit her own needs. I'm just sorry it's affected not only my daughter's life, but yours as well," he said with sincerity and a tinge of anger laced in his tone.
"I have nothing nice to say about your wife, other than the fact she helped to create the love of my life," I said, as politely as I could.
Charlie smiled and looked up at me as I sat on the edge of Bella's bed.
"She always knew you would sweep Bella off her feet when the time came. I think she was scared of the intensity the two of you have always had. Hell, even I worried about it after that first time I saw you with my baby girl. You were so protective of her and super defensive about anyone that even remotely appeared to put her in harm's way," he said and stood up beside her bed as his hand came up to touch her tiny fingers.
"There were times I even felt threatened by you. I mean, I'm her dad, I was supposed to be the 'protector' in her life, but you beat me to the punch every single time, kid." He gave a light laugh as he looked at me again.
I had always liked the Chief. It was a shame this was how our lives came to interact again after all these years.
"What are your plans, Edward?" He asked, suddenly serious and watching Bella closely.
"I'll stay by her side for as long as she wants and needs me too." I declared and straightened my shoulders, ready to state my case.
He nodded and sat back down in the chair, "And what if she stays like this? I tried to get her some counseling, some form of help after Renee died, but it didn't really go anywhere. And you know Bella, stubborn as a mule."
"It's not gonna be easy, Charlie. I know that. Hell, I've been through worse. But I can promise you this, I won't fail her again. I won't leave her side. I'll be there however and whenever she needs me." I tried to make him see nothing and no one was going to force me out of her life again.
He smiled and clapped me on the back as he stood beside me, "I believe you, son."
He walked towards the door, "I'll be back in a few hours. I'm going to get checked into a hotel and grab some food."
"I'll be right here," I replied and looked back at him.
"I know." He smiled and shut the door behind him.
I moved into the chair and scooted it closer to the bed so I could hold her hand.
"Baby, I've missed you so much. Please come back to me." I whispered before I leaned over to kiss her forehead.
I laid my head down and listened to her breathing.
This is all I had dreamed about for so long … I only hoped Bella could get past all of this and come back to me.
But I would wait for her ... forever.
A/n: so...don't you just love Charlie? I fell in love with him in this chapter. Things aren't ALWAYS what they seem.
Btw, if you aren't reading Bnjwl's new fic, Love Death Birth, why NOT? It's sooo good!
And, if you want to know what's owning me right now...keep looking:
When you close your eyes by Chloe Masen
Beyond the scope by Catastrophia
Snowbound by Edwards Eternal
Culture Shock by Kitkat
to name a few...show 'em some love;)
Til Thursday, Kyla