Tonight I saw my half brother for the first time in ten years, and met his fiance. He's awesome and she's one of the loveliest people I've ever met AND I'm invited to the wedding in January so I'm very happy :)
This prompt comes from Our bodies are the guilty ones and similarly prompted by eli7abeth and The Dark Queen of Insanity: You should do one from A Night Of Neglect, right after Santana leaves, or before Karfosky[sic] see's them.
Sorry in advance, but I had to. Come on, Blaine is always calm and collected, something had to cause him to resort to violence like that. And we never hear about his past. So here's my take. I almost want to write another fluffy version cause I can think of a really good one.. ah well. I have had readers saying they want more angst, and I know I need to focus on the fact that relationships aren't all sunshine and Klainebows. But I'm the type of person that gets heavily attached to what I write and if I write about angst, I'm more likely to get depressed by it. Oh well, I'm happy to rise to the challenge.
P.S. I have NOT seen Prom Queen yet. Repeat: I have NOT SEEN PROM QUEEN! So no prompts unless they're incredibly vague like the one I got this afternoon which just mentioned a hallway and people and I've got no idea what it means until I watch the episode. I'll get onto it ASAP, I promise, I'm dying for that episode anyway.
Established Klaine from Original Song, just happened without the kiss.
Panic
Kurt watched Santana disappear down the hallway, then turned towards Blaine. "Blaine, why'd you push him?"
Then he froze because Blaine had slumped against the lockers and was staring off into the distance, glassy eyed. His breathing had become shallow and ragged and his fists were clenched.
"Blaine!" Kurt went to grab his shoulders, then froze, realizing what was going on.
He's trapped in his memories. He's having a panic attack.
"Blaine, listen to me." Kurt forced his voice to remain calm and smooth as he stood a few steps away from the panicked boy. "Listen. You're not there. You're at McKinley. You're with Kurt. You're safe here, Blaine, I promise. Nobody's going to hurt you, I won't let them. Take a deep breath."
Blaine gasped in a breath and Kurt knew it was working.
"That's it, baby. Take another one. Good, you're doing really good Blaine. Another breath."
Kurt could feel his hands shaking as he watched Blaine struggle to calm himself down. He continued to talk him through until Blaine's breathing finally evened out. His eyes cleared and he focused on Kurt. At first there was confusion, then realization followed by fear and shame that nearly broke Kurt's heart. He hesitantly reached forward and touched Blaine's shoulder.
And that was all it took for the dam to burst. Blaine's whole body shuddered, then he sunk down against the lockers with tears pouring down his face. Kurt immediately knelt next to him, wrapping an arm around him and letting him cry it out for as long as it took.
It turned out to only be a couple of minutes. Blaine quickly got under control, wiping his eyes and turning to Kurt. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted you to see that."
"Why not?" Kurt could understand how embarassing it felt to lose control in front of someone but Blaine was his boyfriend. And he'd cried countless times in front of Blaine after all.
"Kurt, I'm the one who's always in control. I'm the mentor to people who have been bullied. I'm the Warbler poster boy. Everybody tells me when they come to me with their problems. "I wish I was as strong as you, Blaine." I'm sick of hearing that because it's not true." Kurt winced, knowing he was one of the people who had said those words to Blaine. He pulled him in closer as Blaine continued. "I'm still not over my own damn issues. I tried to take on a guy twice the size of me because he called me a name that you had to listen to every single day. I just ... lost control. After spending three years of my life listening to it, you think I'd be okay with it, but no. I'm still scarred by my past. As soon as something like that happens, I get thrown back and -" His voice cracked.
"Shh, it's okay." Kurt rubbed his back soothingly. "Blaine, you've been through hell and nobody expects you to 'get over it' like that. You don't think I deal with nightmares and memories too? Of course I do. But the way we handle things is different and that's what makes us so different. You bottle things up, while I talk about them. I talk to you, and now I'm thinking I haven't been clear enough and let you know that you can talk to me too."
"Of course you have. It's just the way I am." Blaine sighed. "Kurt, do you really think you can handle being with someone like me?"
Kurt froze. "Blaine Anderson, you had damn well better not be breaking up with me right now!" Blaine avoided his eyes and Kurt saw red.
"Don't you even think about it! I refuse to let you be so stupid!" Kurt jumped to his feet and was pacing the hallway. "Blaine, you are a wonderful person and I count every day as a blessing that I spend with you. Yes, you have your memories still haunting you and struggle to talk about them. That's okay. You can work through it and I want to help you. I want to be there with you when you cry and be the one to wipe away your tears. I want to one day hear every single story of your past, good and bad, and I want you to hear the same from me. I plan to be with you a very long time, Blaine."
By now, he had stopped pacing and knelt down in front of the stunned boy. "We haven't been together long, Blaine, and I know we haven't even kissed yet or anything, but I think I love you and I've been trying to find the right way to tell you and this isn't it but you need to hear it. I love you now and I'll love you tomorrow and I hope like hell I'll still love you in twenty years. I want to be with you for as long as I can, and even if we can't make it legal, for as long as we both shall live. And that might not be what you want down the track and we'll deal with that then but that's what I want. I want you, Blaine, and all of the baggage that comes with that because that's what makes you who you are." He paused, staring at the motionless figure in front of him. "Well, say something!"
Blaine knelt up, grabbed Kurt's face and kissed him.
Kurt gasped against Blaine's lips and Blaine quickly pulled away. "Kurt, I'm sorry, I thought -"
"Shut up and do that again."
"Well, we'd better get in there." Kurt reluctantly pulled away from Blaine who was wrapped in his arms, still on the floor. "Come on, Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected."
With a wink, Kurt pulled Blaine up from the floor and they walked into the auditorium; Blaine holding Kurt's hand proudly and walking with his head held high. Except this time it wasn't an act. With Kurt by his side, he felt ten feet tall, even if he was scarred.
So, I kinda love Kurt's speech. I'm waiting for the day that someone says that sort of thing to me and convinces me that I'm worth their love even though I carry my own scars. It'll take time but I hope one day I can find that person and believe it and I know there are many others out there who are the same way.
In regards to the panic attack, I have never witnessed someone having one. I have, however, been the one experiencing it and I'm just going with what my friend did to help me through. I know it's different for every panic attack, this is just my experience of what worked for me. (In my case, I had a fire phobia and there was a bushfire out the back of our school and I started hyperventilating, my friend talked me through it until I calmed down)
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this and please review :)