Author's Note: Hey guys! I know, I know. I kept yall hanging yesterday. Sorry about that, but hopefully I can make up for it today. I can't help being tickled pink though that the tension is being felt by all of you. I thought my entire skin was going to explode from it just from writing the scenes yesterday. Whew! Ahhh! You guys are so terrific! Always checking in on me and letting me know what you like about the story and how it's making you feel. I'm bedazzled (laugh out loud). Just Truly terrific. Hugs to you one and all. And lots of love to you guys. It's Friday (sigh) so I'll meet you all again at the end of the last update of the day with an author's footnote. As for this first chapter of the day,the song is an Angel422 original and the emotions in this chapter just humbled me.Smiles to you all. Please R&R. Angel422.
"I want to make love to you, Jude." Tommy said suddenly as I felt my stomach pitch precariously. What did he just say? I looked over at him with my cheeks burning from the unexpected comment.
"I…uh…I" I floundered desperately as he looked over the side of the balloon too—watching the fantastical view pass by us lazily.
"And I hate myself for it." He murmured as I felt my legs go weak beneath me. I couldn't look at him as I gripped the side of the basket to keep from collapsing onto my knees. He sighed heavily.
"You wanted me to be honest. Your song screamed for my heart to bleed. Jude, up until I met you I always thought my life was perfect—things were falling into place for me. And then I saw your face—listened to your barbed remarks—observed the voice of an angel that could turn ice to fire and vice versa—fought with myself over the unexpected sparks that lit when we recorded together because our talents seemed to click. From anger, hate, and confusion we created beautiful music. And all I could think about was that I could never be with you." He stated simply as I silently watched a castle float by beneath our feet. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine myself flying—free falling to the ground below. My heart clenched.
"You don't have to reply to that. I don't expect you to. I just can't get the idea out of my head no matter how wrong I think it is—how wrong I feel it is. Jude, by the time you were thirteen I had already survived a rise to fame and a broken marriage. I already had lines on my face you were just beginning to develop. And you'd think that would matter to me now, but the first time I watched you with Shay, Jamie, and Spied, and when I tried forgetting you with Sadie, I knew the damage had been done. You are the angel in my head, Jude, and the devil on my shoulder." He remarked as I looked over at him quietly—trying my best not to scream at fate. Instead, I reached out and slipped my hand into his.
"And so we argue instead?" I asked softly as he looked down at me with a small smile.
"To keep from taking that next step? Yeah, I think that's why we argue." Tommy answered as I moved into his embrace—sheltered from the sudden chilly winds by his arms.
"Because our consciences won't let us do anything else. Yep, we make quite a pair." I commented wryly as Tommy shook his head before grinning.
"I'm guessing that makes me your devil too." Tommy remarked as he laid his chin on top of my head as he steered the balloon around over a field that was probably full of wildflowers during the spring. I chuckled.
"Yep, complete with forked tail and pitchfork." I stated simply as he laughed. Where was the humor? I think I was just laughing to mask the sudden burden of realizing that we were still stuck at square one—feet glued to the ground by indecision, but Tommy had been honest with me. That was a great start. I suddenly wanted to throw things. I needed to scream at someone—anything. My skin just felt so tight with the tension because now that I knew he wanted me, it made me fight against the idea more. That was the danger of falling for someone so much older than me. It released desires in me that I was afraid to explore. Oh, but I burned. The balloon began to descend, and I felt the familiar wave of anger that kept me from crying. Tom seemed to feel it too because once the basket hit the ground, he anchored it before pointing towards the edge of the small town outside of Paris where we had driven earlier.
"Come on." He said as he pulled me by my hand toward what looked like a tavern at the edge of town. Walking through the doors quickly, Tommy greeted the owner as if they were old friends before leading me over to a dartboard at the side of the room. He handed me a few darts before pointing at it leisurely. I didn't even ask twice—I just threw—trying not to laugh as a few patrons ducked. Men held up beer mugs in amusement and encouragement as I tried to hit the felt. We had the whole place cheering as Tommy finally took my hand in his to help me throw. I felt the warmth that emanated from his palm down into the pads of my fingers as we threw together—hitting the bulls eyes without difficulty. It was almost like a universal sign that we did things better together, and I wanted to spit at the idea. Ahhh, the familiar anger. It masked the more forbidden emotions and it felt good. I heard Tommy growl as he felt it too. Tom looked up at the bartender as he pointed at a group of glasses lining a long shelf.
"Are those for sell?" He asked the guy as the man nodded at Tommy uncertainly. Tom grinned.
"Then we want them all." He commanded with assurance as the guy raised a brow. The owner approached Tom from the side.
"If you're planning on tearing the place up, Tom, at least make me some money or give us a good show while you do it." He replied good-naturedly as Tommy smiled a half-smile that made me nervous. I'm guessing he did know the owner probably from his youth.
"Sure thing." Tommy answered as he pointed at me and then at the center of the room.
"Let's write a song." Tommy demanded as I looked incredulously around the room.
"Here?" I asked in shocked surprise as Tommy picked up the first glass and hurled it at the wall of the tavern. It shattered as I just gaped in horror.
"Yep, here." He replied as he handed me a mug and pointed at the wall. Oh, what the hell! I threw it—hard—and watched in sudden giddy relief as it shattered. It felt like a dam had been broken underneath my skin as Tommy grabbed a guitar from off the stage—plucking at it fiercely—using chords that almost screamed with emotions. I threw another glass as the patrons in the place screamed in unison before waving their glasses in the air. I could tell they were caught up in the furious emotions. I felt so free.
"Free falling through space." I sang suddenly as I watched glass continue to fall toward the ground. Tommy looked up too as he plucked away.
"Dreams unbroken." He sang after a moment as I smiled over at him in utter delight. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it—at the freedom. I thought through the first two lines before adding another.
"Passion unspoken." I reiterated as I lifted another tumbler. Tommy nodded his head in approval.
"Reaching for the bitter end." He belted out as he closed his eyes against the sound of more breaking glass. I could hear cheers from the surrounding people as I stamped my foot to the angry, sorrowful tune.
"Of a wasted trip through time." I sang haltingly as my eyes met with Tom's like a magnet drawn together by something outside our power.
"My spirit won't be broken." He added softly as I just kept staring unblinkingly into that mesmerizing blue gaze.
"My fire won't be extinguished." I replied in firm resolve as someone in the room behind us picked up one of the glasses to throw it up against the wall too. I laughed at the release all of us souls felt at the moment even if we didn't know each other
"The strength my fears gain." I sang again as Tommy played. He looked up at me silently—shaking his head in amusement as someone else stepped up next to us to throw another tumbler.
"Are comforted only by pain." He sang in a tone filled with unspoken despair. I went to him then before wrapping my arms around his neck as he strummed the strings deftly now amongst the shattering of glass.
"Help me understand." I demanded.
"This confusion." He commanded.
"Am I in heaven?" I sang questioningly.
"Desires stretched to implosion." Tommy added as I looked down into his face before pinching him lightly against the cheek. He laughed.
"Or in hell?" I sang suddenly soberly as he looked over again at the wall.
"Trying to keep myself from trouble." He sang in a hushed tone as I shuddered. Rubbing my hand down the side of his jaw, I smiled sadly.
"The stubble along his chin prickles my fingertips like spears." I belted out as I lifted my fingers to touch the edge of his eyes gently. "The subtle fall of his eyelashes tickles his cheeks upon blinking." I sang in a burdened tone as the rhythm picked up speed. I closed my eyes against it's fury.
"I'm out of my mind." He sang suddenly as I opened my eyes to see him peering up into my face. I shrugged.
"Watching him silently." I added quickly before closing my eyes again. "Wishing suddenly I was blind." I sang in loud confusion as someone brushed passed us to hurl another glass. The entire place exploded with cheers as it shattered.
"Free falling through space." Tommy sang as he looked down at the ground covered in glass below our feet.
"The ground rushes up to me." He sang again as I opened my eyes to look down too at the sparkling splinters mesmerized.
"And I wonder at its beauty." I sang softly.
"As it brings sweet remedy." Tommy murmured. Another glass shattered.
"And I cry—oh I cry." I screamed out as Tommy strummed harder than necessary on the strings.
"As tears fall from these troubled eyes." He added fiercely in the resounding room—echoing against the grain of wood that held up the walls.
"Bravery." I sang simply as Tom glanced up at me.
"I walk through regrets and fruition." He sang with me as I smiled suddenly.
"To stare at the tomb of the unknown soldier." I sang softly as I gripped the fabric of his jacket firmly in my palm. "Wondering if the body underneath the ground." I continued haltingly.
"Will be me someday." Tommy finished for me quickly. Another glass shattered.
"Reaching for something beyond my reach." I sang slowly as the tune began to slow.
"Only to lose my grip" Tommy added as his fingers began to slow on the strings.
"Falling." I ended on a whisper as the last glass broke into a million pieces over our heads. We looked at each other a moment quietly as the room burst into applause around us.