Don't Let Me Go:
Chapter 24:
Eponine's POV:
I wake up the next morning feeling sicker than ever. I know I don't want to go on this date tonight, but I need to get over Marius and Enjorlas. Do I think there's anything between Courfeyrac and me? No, of course not. But, I know that I need to start dating if I want to get over those two. How do they have such a pull on me? I just have to keep telling myself: Marius is no good for me and I'm no good for Enjorlas.
I get up and put on Marius' sweatshirt. I know, I know. But, he left it over here and I wear it all the time. It's just become a comfort thing for me. I walk downstairs and hear Gavroche's voice.
"I thought I told you to stay away from both of us," he says.
"Gav, come on." Marius' voice rings through my head. How long has it been that I've wanted to hear his voice. I miss it. I miss him.
No! I snap myself out of it. If I'm going to miss anyone it should be Enjorlas.
"Seeing you yesterday was enough for Ep. She has a date tonight-"
"Yeah, I know," he cuts him off, sounding sad. Does he miss me?
"Marius, maybe you should just leave. Neither of you are going to happy if you keep holding on to each other," Gav says. Dang, when did he become so emotionally involved in everything? And mature?
"Gav," I say, softly. I walk down the stairs and Marius looks up at me. He looks relieved and nervous at the same time. "Let me talk to him," I say, reaching the bottom of the steps. He motions me down to him. I kneel down beside him and put my ear to him.
"If you need me to kick some butt, just yell," he says. I pull away and smile at him. I hold my hand up and he smacks it and runs off. I stand up straight and look at Marius.
"Hey," he says, trying to hide the fear on his face.
"What do you want Marius?" I ask, putting my hand on the door.
"Eponine, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry for everything. I talked to Enjorlas yesterday and he made me realize how much I've hurt you and how much I miss you." He starts off. I start to feel bad. I hate when people feel bad for me. "And, I know that needs to stop. I know you need to move on, and so do I. Gavroche doesn't want me talking to you and I know you don't want me around. And since there's nothing left for me here, I've decided that I'm going to move out of state." He finishes. My mouth drops open. I was not expecting this. I'm thrown way off guard and try to get my thoughts straight.
"You're…you're leaving? We're not going to work through this like we always do?" I ask, trying not to panic. I figured that Marius and I would be fine in a couple of weeks.
"This isn't just a stupid fight we got into, Ep. I'm in love with you. I don't think I can love anybody else. But I can't make you love me back. I know I need to get out of here so we can both move on. It's the only way," he says, looking away.
I touch his hand, "It's not the only way." I say. He looks at me.
"I can't be in pain anymore. I need to do something for me. There's nothing that'll stop me this time."
"Marius," I say and he lets go of me. "You can't leave me. We've been best friends for longer than I can remember."
"I don't know how much longer I can do that," he says and I see a tear fall down his face.
"Do what? Be my friend?" I ask, trying to hold the tears in myself.
"I'm sorry, Eponine. It's for the best. I'm moving this weekend. I already have an apartment picked out in DC. I'm sorry, but this is the only way I'm going to be happy. You too," he says.
"Marius, don't," I say, but I can tell he's not going to listen to me.
"I'm sorry," he says and leaves. Once he leaves, the tears come automatically. I thought I was done with him, but…I think I'm in love with him.
Why didn't I tell him? I might have lost him forever.
Or maybe not.