So now it is time for yet another update. Time for another conversation, though this one doesn't involve the Fentons. This time, the Maitlands need to have a (somewhat) honest conversation with someone. Hopefully you'll enjoy it.
Well, it was bound to happen eventually. Betelgeuse and the Maitlands ended up in the same room as the same time. It went about as smoothly as I expected. At least Dad and Delia weren't home at the time.
I don't think they'll ever be comfortable with each other. I love Adam and Barbara. They're wonderful people. But first impressions are hard to shake sometimes and Beej really knows how to make an impression. Between the snake thing, dropping Dad over the railing, sending Dad's old boss and his wife through the ceiling (who blamed the memories after the "freak accident" on head injuries), nearly marrying me, and the fact his personality has a lot of rough edges, Beej did a great job making them hate and fear him.
So I really didn't have much hope of a peaceful encounter. And I was right. Beej hit on Barbara again (which is still really weird for me to watch), insulted Adam, and complained about the sandworm incident again before I managed to separate everyone.
But at least no one attacked each other. Or tried to attack each other. We all know Beej is too strong to actually be beaten by Barbara and Adam directly, but no one tried in the two minutes they were around each other. I consider that a success.
Still, I think I'm going to keep them away from each other as much as possible.
Come on, Babes. It wasn't completely my fault.
You were trying to provoke them.
Just a little. They're fun to rile up.
And did you have to try and touch my sort of godmother?
I was trying to see what kind of figure she has under that shapeless dress. It completely hides anything interesting.
Please stop talking about this, Beej. I really don't want to hear you talk about her like that. It is so weird and creepy. And she's married. Remember that little detail?
We don't have to tell her dork husband anything.
Yeah, you're definitely not getting near them again. Just stick to mirrors in the house. We'll hang out somewhere else. Like in town. Or the graveyard. Or anywhere that doesn't involve you commenting on Barbara's appearance or trying to start a fight.
You really have to take all the fun out of this, don't you?
I'll make it up for you. The pet store in the next town over has some crickets they sell for people who keep lizards. I'll pick you up some next time I go.
You're the greatest, Lyds.
-Excerpt from "Lydia Deetz' Journal"
Awareness crept back slowly as he gradually began to awaken. The inescapable exhaustion and shredding sensation of imminent destruction were gone. His strength and power were recovering nicely. As expected, a chance to rest worked miracles. That didn't change the fact it was hard for Betelgeuse to shrug off sleep completely. There was just a heaviness that made it hard to open his eyes, let alone wake up. Sleeping like the dead was a phrase for a reason, after all.
But he eventually began to stir. The couch was relatively comfortable, but the ghost forced himself awake. He knew too much time had passed since he'd succumbed to exhaustion. Lyds and her little flock of weirdness probably already either flew the coop or were about to. She might not care about her evil witch of an aunt, but the other children would have parents to deal with that might not be happy about the crossing state lines. Maybe he should have left them behind and just took Lyds to see the Maitlands. Oh well, they could probably take a bus back. Or a taxi. Or a train. Or something. There were options.
Sitting up reluctantly and slowly, Betelgeuse discovered everything had dulled down to a constant and vague ache. The pounding headaches and throbbing pain of living people didn't happen without a heartbeat, but a more constant and steady form was certainly possible. But the sharpness and intensity were long gone and he could easily ignore the remaining pain easily. He suspected it would wear off when he started using his power again, like working the stiffness out of a sore muscle.
Not bad for a guy who almost destroyed himself the night before.
"Memo to self," he mumbled under his unnecessary breath, rubbing his neck and shoulder with only the slightest wincing. "Don't use the portal again. Breaking the rules, nearly tearing myself apart, and trying to keep together anyway really stings. When I get a hold of Sanduleak again, he's going to have the worst sunburn ever."
"Imagine that," a voice said abruptly, startling Betelgeuse into opening his eyes finally. "He's awake for two minutes and already plotting violent revenge."
Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, the two resident ghosts were sitting not too far away and watching him. Neither of the Maitlands looked like they wanted to murder him again, which Betelgeuse considered to be progress. There was the usual suspicion present in their expressions, but there was a slight softness that he rarely saw directed towards him. It was like they didn't completely hate and fear him. That idea was a little unnerving.
On the other hand, even if her floral dress wasn't as tight and revealing as some current fashions, Barbara's figure was still as attractive and intriguing to him as ever. Having the chance to run his eyes up and down her body first thing in the morning was pretty nice. And if he was careful, he might snag a chance to do a little more than look. The possibility made him grin.
"What can I say? I'm a ghost with simple desires," he said, giving the brunette woman a meaningful look.
She didn't rise to the bait nor did she throw herself at the Ghost With The Most while forsaking her rather dull husband. Honestly, he would have been happy with either option. Instead of reacting in an entertaining fashion, Barbara and Adam just stared at him with unreadable expressions.
"Okay, the two of you are acting really odd. What's the matter? Do I have something on my face?" asked Betelgeuse, scratching at a patch of mold. When he didn't get a proper response, he asked in a slightly more serious tone, "How's Lyds?"
"She's fine. She stayed with us for a little while, but Juno eventually took her and the others with her when she left. It sounded like Lydia would be staying with one of them," said Barbara. "But whatever the plan, she was fairly adamant about not going back to stay with her aunt."
"Good," he said shortly.
So they went back to Amity Park. Juno took care of the issue. She was an annoying pain in the neck, but she was useful sometimes. And Lydia was smart enough to avoid the crazy witch woman. He intended to deal with the psycho at the first opportunity, but it was wise for Lyds to stay out of range until then just in case she tried to mess with the girl's head again. No reason to make the same mistakes twice.
"She talked about what happened recently," said Adam slowly. "Her aunt. Sanduleak. You. Everything."
Raising an eyebrow curiously, Betelgeuse said, "Really? You had a busy night."
"But there are a few things we want to ask you. Why did Sanduleak attack Lydia in the first place? Why was he after her?" asked Barbara, something in her voice suggesting she already knew or suspected the answer.
Briefly he wracked his brains for what exactly he said the night before. He remembered arguing with Juno, but the exact details were a little foggy. Near destruction and utter exhaustion while pretending to be fine apparently left his memories a bit vague. The point was that he wasn't sure what he'd already mentioned or if he'd made anything up. Not to mention he didn't know what Lydia, Danny-boy, and the others might have said. Without any idea of what information they already possessed, he could either be completely honest or he could bluff wildly.
Bluffing, even if it meant bluffing blindly, sounded like the better option. The Maitlands already hated him. And the truth wouldn't help that opinion. Besides, cons and bluffing were second nature to him. That would be the most comfortable way to proceed. He should make something up.
Maybe he was just tired still, but Betelgeuse found him reluctantly shifting his decision towards honesty. Or maybe it was a sliver of guilt.
He was going to blame fatigue.
"He was after Lyds because he was too much of a coward to go against me directly," Betelgeuse admitted, his voice a rough growl. "That twisted, murderous, idiotic freak hates me for trapping him in a well for a century, but didn't feel brave enough to face me directly. He knows I'm stronger than him. So his bright idea of revenge was going against someone he could overpower." His hands clenched briefly at the thought, some of his anger at Sanduleak and himself leaking into his voice. "He went after Lyds because of what I did a century ago. Which is why he's made the very top of my revenge list. I'm going to make him beg for me to toss him in the Lost Souls' Room by the time I'm finished."
"I see," said Barbara in a neutral voice. "It was your fault that she was involved. And why did you trap him in the first place? That was before your time as Juno's assistant. So why did you trap him in a well? Why would you bother?"
He said sharply, "Because that cowardly creep not only thought it was a proper haunting technique to force himself on unwilling women and murdering them, but he tried to involve me in that mess without explaining what he was up to. No one tries to trick and use me. An extended stay in the bottom of the well was intended to make my displeasure clear and discourage him from repeating that mistake." Narrowing his eyes, he growled, "Apparently Jack the Ripper is a slow learner. I should have killed him. Again. None of this would have happened if I did. Lyds would've been safe. Or at least safer."
"So you lock up a serial killer ghost, even though it wasn't your job," said Adam. "And when he decided to attack an innocent girl yesterday, you protected her."
"Tell us about the portal," Barbara said. "The one you used to get to her."
Betelgeuse nearly flinched, but managed to hide the reaction by dusting off the sleeves of his jacket. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it too much. That portal was not fun. But avoiding this topic completely would only make them more curious. But just because he'd obviously woken in a fairly honest state of mind didn't mean he couldn't be a little vague about it.
"What can I say? Some insane ghost hunters tore a hole in their basement that now leads to the Ghost Zone. Now anyone with half a brain can cross between the two whenever they want. I knew Lyds was in trouble and I didn't know if Danny-boy would be enough. And I don't like just standing around, twiddling my thumbs. Thanks to that evil aunt messing with Lyds' head to make her forget my name temporarily, no one was going to call me. So I used the portal to get out and got Sanduleak away from her."
"You're not allowed out without someone using your name," she reminded.
"I've never been a fan of following the rules."
"Judging by the fact you practically collapsed last night, there was clearly a cost. And we're not idiots," Barbara said.
Trying to deflect the conversation towards safer topics, he said, "Well, I might be willing to accept the possibility of you having a brain, I still have my doubts about your husband."
Adam glared through his glasses, but he didn't say a word. It looked like the Maitlands weren't going to be easily distracted. Maybe they weren't the dumb saps he'd hoped.
He considered the idea of sending them to the model to break the conversation off, but quickly discarded it. Lyds would be agitated if he messed with the Maitlands too much. And between recently becoming an orphan, having her aunt messing with her mind, and everything to do with Sanduleak, he wouldn't want to make things worse by bothering her adopted ghost parents.
"According to Juno, you nearly destroyed yourself going through that portal," said Adam.
"June-bug talks too much. And she worries more than she should about stuff that doesn't involve her," he muttered.
Barbara said cautiously, "You knew or at least suspected what would happen when you went through that portal. You knew the risk and did it anyway. For Lydia."
Betelgeuse glanced away briefly. Yeah, Lyds was the reason he did it. Yeah, he nearly destroyed himself in the process. But hearing them describe point blank what he'd done made it sound far too noble and idiotic for the reputation of the Ghost With The Most. He really didn't like thinking about things from that perspective and he definitely didn't want others doing so either.
Now he was starting to figure out why their expressions had been so weird since he'd woken up. Everything was getting all tangled in emotions and sympathy, which he really didn't want to explore deeply.
"Lyds is mine. No one gets to hurt her. I'll never let that happen. And I'm not afraid of a few risks," said Betelgeuse, his gravelly voice shifting towards a possessive growl. "I won't let anyone or anything take Lyds away from me. And nothing has the power to stop me. That includes the risk of ripping myself apart. And don't underestimate me. I'm the Ghost With The Most, remember?"
There, that sounded better. Framing it with selfish motivations made more sense. He was self-centered and possessive. He wasn't stupidly heroic. It just wasn't who he was.
Of course that didn't change the fact he would make the same painful and nearly suicidal choice again if it meant protecting Lydia. She was his, but it wasn't just that. From the moment he first saw the girl, he'd known she was special. She was more important than anyone else in that house. She'd captured his attention and, after they worked past the mistake of the almost-wedding, she became his best friend. There was just something about the girl he could never explain. She was someone he wanted happy, safe, and protected. And he'd realized he'd do anything for her, including die again.
But he just couldn't truly explain why he felt that way towards the child and he didn't feel like spreading it around too much. Lyds probably wouldn't like that last part about being willing to die again for her either.
"I think I'm beginning to understand why she trusts you, why she likes you even after everything you did," said Barbara, giving him a knowing look. "Even Juno can see it a little. When it comes down to it, you're not nearly as bad as everyone believes. Including yourself." She glanced down briefly, before adding quietly, "So thank you. Thank you for saving Lydia. Thank you for caring about her enough to risk everything to protect her."
"We love her and would do anything for her," Adam said. "We just can't do much to help her from here. Thank you for doing what we can't."
"And whenever you see Sanduleak again, see if you can feed him to a sandworm for us," added Barbara with a flicker of fury in her gaze.
This was definitely heading into a very uncomfortable direction. People didn't thank him unless they were impressed by a particularly good bio-exorcism job. It just didn't happen. Apparently it was time to forcibly derail this conversation.
He would prefer to leave, but until they banished him, there was a limit to where he could go. The ghosts let him out, so he was stuck within their haunting boundaries. So until they kicked him out, he couldn't really escape the conversation. That meant his best option was to provoke them a little.
"Don't worry, Sanduleak will be dealt with properly," he said with a feral grin. "But before that…"
His expression shifted to a smirk as he turned his attention towards Barbara with a twist of power. Her outfit morphed under his influence, changing her floral dress into something much more flattering. She stared down at the sparkly red dress with a very low neckline, exposed shoulders, a slit up the side of the floor-length fabric that showed an impressive amount of leg, and a delightfully close fit that left very little of the woman's figure to the imagination. The long purple gloves and high-heels were just the perfect finishing touches to a very lovely ensemble. Barbara looked shocked and affronted by the wardrobe change while Adam stared in slack-jawed, stunned awe at his wife's appearance.
"There, that's better," Betelgeuse said smugly. "I knew you were hiding a good-looking body under that frumpy dress, Doll."
"You… you…," sputtered Barbara, a bit of fury edging into her expression as her gloved hands clenched.
His eyes practically bulging out of his head (though not literally like some ghosts might try), Adam said, "Barbara? You… you look…Wow."
"Yeah," said Betelgeuse. "She's way out of your league. How did you manage to get her in the first place? And do have any tips on how I could?"
"Betelgeuse," Barbara managed to snarl finally. "What did you do to my clothes?"
"I changed them to something better," he said. "Of course if you preferred that I get rid of your clothes, all you need to do is ask."
Glaring at his smirk, she said, "You really can't help yourself. You really can't resist, can you? You've obviously recovered from your experience enough to cause trouble again, Betelgeuse."
"Say it again and I'll be out of your hair. Or I could stay to enjoy the view. Your dork husband certainly is."
Adam actually seemed embarrassed and looked towards the floor. Betelgeuse couldn't help cackling. The dork really was too easy to mess with. The poor guy looked like his brain fried from her outfit. Plus, this entire situation was a lot more comfortable that dealing with emotional and serious stuff. He definitely preferred this.
"We'll let Lydia handle you. Though you're still not as bad as everyone thinks, Betelgeuse," Barbara said.
As he vanished, the poltergeist managed a quick flash of power to shift her outfit back. Adam might be disappointed, but Barbara might be a little less furious. And that would mean less complaining from Lyds later.
"The morning is evil," groaned Sam before taking a bit of toast.
"Not as evil as the fact we have school," Tucker said, piling more bacon on his plate.
"I told you," said Maddie, barely able to fit around the crowded kitchen table, "only your parents can call the school to excuse an absence. And the school would call your parents if you don't show up without explanation. You can't skip."
"Lydia isn't going," he pointed out.
"She has a head injury, an evil aunt, and a protective poltergeist that could wake up at any time and I really don't want to imagine what he'd do to Casper High," Danny reminded. "I don't think a day off it too much to ask, even if the principal tries to call someone about it."
"Says the guy whose parents did call to excuse his absence," complained Tucker jokingly.
Lydia sat at the table, practically pinned between Jazz and Sam, as she listened to the flow of conversation. It was nice and relaxing. This was certainly better than breakfast with Aunt Melinda and Uncle Roger. Even with all the scrapes and bruises, everyone was relatively happy and there was no hatred between them. She felt content to just sit there silently.
She was also glad that, by some miracle, she'd managed to keep a hold of her backpack through all the insanity. There were a few small cuts in the fabric from where Sanduleak's blade slashed a little too close, but she'd kept it on her back through the attack, the trip to Connecticut, and back to Amity Park. So even if she didn't have a clean change of clothes over at the Fenton's house, she could still pull her red poncho out of the bag and wear it. Now that things were going right again, it felt right to have it back on again.
"We're going to need a bigger table," said Jack, trying to scoot a little in search of elbow room.
Jazz said, "We need a bigger kitchen. It isn't exactly made to hold seven people at once."
"It could be worse," Danny shrugged. "I'm pretty sure the thermos is more confining than this. Could someone pass the milk?"
Lydia shoved the carton across the table and he added it to the bowl of cereal. There was a lot of variety to the food they were eating. There wasn't enough of any particular item to feed everyone, so they were working with a mix of cereal, toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, a little bit of fruit they were surprised to discover in the fridge, and a few day-old donuts that were mostly claimed by Jack. And coffee. Lots of coffee that Maddie quickly claimed for her mug.
As Lydia reached for another slice of toast, an electronic alert chirped and she froze. With her arm still outstretched, her eyes scanned the table for the source, though it was rather obvious. Tucker pulled out one of his countless technological devices and looked at the screen with an expectant expression. Then he gave a nod of satisfaction and smiled.
"The Maitlands have now discovered the wonders of texting," he said. "They say your friend woke up, seemed fine, and they apparently sent him away. Something about changing Barbara's dress."
Lydia couldn't help chuckling a little. The fact Betelgeuse was making a few moves on Barbara, no matter how weird and annoying it was, was a good sign. He was acting like his normal self. He was fine.
"I guess I better get him before he causes trouble for the Ghost Zone or Netherworld again," said Lydia before glancing apologetically towards the Fentons. "I'm sorry, but things are about to get crazy around here."
They exchanged looks, but Jack and Maddie didn't seem to understand exactly how much chaos was about to be unleashed. No one could really prepare for their first encounter with the poltergeist. He probably wouldn't turn into a giant snake though. That was something at least.
"Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse," she called.
After a brief moment of silence, a gravelly voice remarked, "You know, I don't mind an audience, Babes. But I prefer a bit more wiggle room than this."
Between the surprised looks pointed in her direction and from where the voice came from, Lydia knew what she'd see when she turned her head. Directly behind her, perched on the edge of the countertop with a completely relaxed posture, was her favorite poltergeist. He'd changed clothes at some point, wearing a more casual brown jacket, red shirt, and a grey cap said guide on it. He just liked mixing things up sometimes. As long as he didn't bring back the maroon tux, she wasn't going to complain.
"You look better, Beej," she said with a smile. "Have a nice nap?"
"Slept like the dead."
"Going for the obvious joke. I expected more from you."
"You've got to respect the classics, Lyds," said Betelgeuse. "So who's the rest of the peanut gallery?"
Lydia turned back to face the rest of the kitchen. Danny and his friends looked rather amused by the exchange. The Fenton couple looked like they were resisting the urge to go for their ghost weaponry, one day not nearly enough time to completely banish their normal reactions to ghosts. But they were resisting, which was progress. Though there was a chance that Beej would pick up on their barely-contained reactions and take it as a challenge. Jazz looked a little curious about the situation, like she was mentally filing away the interactions and wondering what else would be revealed.
"This is Danny's family. His mom, dad, and his older sister, Jazz," Lydia said. "This is their house with a portal to the Ghost Zone in the basement. Best behavior, please."
"Babes, I'm always on my best behavior."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
He cackled before hopping off the counter. And thanks to the limited floor space available, that left him leaning over Lydia. He even rested his arm on her head like she was a piece of furniture, making Lydia roll her eyes.
"Very nice to meet you… ah, sir," greeted Jazz, clearly uncertain how to politely address someone who could be summoned and banished with his name.
"Yes, it is," Betelgesuse said, Lydia not even having to look to know he was leering at the older girl. His voice made it clear enough. "Of course, you don't have to call me 'sir.' Unless that's what you're into, Red."
"She's underage, Beej," said Lydia dryly as everyone else around the table looked either uncomfortable or outraged.
"Seriously?" he groaned in annoyance.
"Afraid so. Older than me, but still underaged. Keep working on it."
"Fine. The woman in the curve-hugging jumpsuit looks like more fun anyway."
"She's my wife," snapped Jack, looking almost as furious as Maddie.
"Doesn't change how good she looks. And I'd show her a good time," Betelgeuse said casually. "So, want the Ghost With The Most to show you the benefits of centuries of experience?"
Groaning and dropping his head on the table, Danny said, "Not another one. Plasmius is bad enough. Not another dead guy after my mom."
"Betelgeuse," snapped Lydia, the use of his full name ensuring that he understood her seriousness. "Stop hitting on everyone in this room for five minutes. And stop antagonizing the ghost hunters. We have to work together because Aunt Melinda is up to something, has something called the Gem of Osiris, and needs to be stopped. But until she's stopped, you can't have everyone wanting to banish you every couple of minutes. You need to treat this as seriously as you would a deal. I know you can't completely help yourself, but try to be enough of a professional that we can work together." She closed her eyes briefly even though he couldn't see her face from his position. "We can't risk doing it alone, Beej. She almost exorcised you. I watched her almost kill you again. We're not risking it a second time because she won't stop it again. You'll be gone. And I won't let that happen. Understand, Beej?"
In a mildly calmer voice, he said, "All right, Lyds. I'll cut back a little on the provoking. We can try the teamwork thing." Then, regaining a little of his usual mania, he said, "But while I look forward to getting close and personal with all my new pals, this might be a little too close. Hold on just a second."
She never really understood how he did it, but she could recognize his work easily. The room stretched and warped, expanding outwards uneven amounts until the walls and counters adopted crooked and strange proportions. The chairs crept back on mobile legs as the table stretched like taffy. By the time everything stopped moving and changing, the room was filled with unusual angles and mismatched dimensions. But there was also a lot more space for everyone.
While everyone else responded in surprise, confusion, fear, and astonishment, Lydia calmly said, "You took some extra space from the living room over there, didn't you?"
"No one was using it right now," he said, leaving his position behind her chair to perch on the weirdly-shaped table.
"Make sure you put it back when you're done," said Lydia. "Reality isn't a toy, even if you act like it sometimes."
"Exactly how strong is he?" asked Jazz, glancing around the morphed kitchen in concern.
He grinned at the teenager and said, "Very."
"You know, school is starting to sound like a much better idea," Tucker said.
First, just in case you're wondering, I did base Barbara's transformed outfit on that of Jessica Rabbit from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." I enjoyed that movie and thought it would be an appropriate dress for Betelgeuse to pick.
Second, his costume change for himself is based on one of the other outfits he wore during the movie. Specifically, he wore it when he first met the Maitlands. The striped suit is just his most iconic outfit.
Remember, reviews are nice and I always appreciate them. I love hearing feedback on this and all stories I write. Thanks.